The French Aristocrat's Baby (17 page)

‘Hang on—
what
did you say about the baby, Etienne?’ she asked abruptly.

Etienne’s face froze. He seemed to be battling with himself. When he finally spoke, his voice was a whisper.

‘Are you still pregnant?’

‘Of course I am. You’re not making sense. What are you talking about?’

‘I was told you’d gone home. I assumed that meant Wales. You wanted to work, you didn’t want to be a mother.’ His voice was a crackle of fury. ‘I thought you’d gone off to have an abortion.’

The word hit her like a slap in the face. Slowly, the real reason for his anger and the state of his appearance filtered through to her.

He was scared.

The only difference between them was that Etienne hadn’t spent the last two days putting his fear into words. He had been trying to support her.

‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘No, I’d never do that—especially not without telling you. How could you think such a thing?’

His hands were working, clenching and unclenching at his sides. She could tell he was building up to something terrible, long before he was able to put it into words.

‘Because,’ he said at last, and then had to draw in a ragged breath before continuing. ‘Because of Angela.’

W
ITH
those few words, Etienne pushed the final piece of jigsaw into place. Gwen remembered what she had read. She knelt up on the bed, facing him.

‘Etienne,’ she said carefully, ‘please tell me the truth. What happened with her?’

He stared at her for a long, long time. Gwen stared back. She watched him work through more emotions than he could possibly name. Then suddenly, she saw him come to a decision. Whirling around, he strode towards the door.

Gwen got there just before he did. She could hardly hope to contain him. As she put a hand on either side of the doorframe she fully expected him to lift her straight out of his way. Instead he stopped. This time he refused to look at her.

‘I can’t talk about it.’

The coldness in his voice would have been enough of a warning for any other woman. Gwen stood her ground.

‘I don’t want to talk about it either—but we must.’

His silence spoke to her as loudly as the taut immobility of his body. It was obvious he did not know where
to start. It was left to her to walk forward, her steps slow and hesitant. Every moment she expected him to turn away. He didn’t. When she was as close as she could get, she put her hand up to his face. Still he did not move. With the pad of her thumb she stroked away the crease between his dark brows. As she did so, she felt the brush of his thick dark lashes against her palm. He had closed his eyes. Then he nodded.

Gwen took the initiative. ‘I was telling the truth, Etienne. I really didn’t know anything about your association with Angela before you mentioned her name. That led me to the Internet, but it was hard to recognise you from the reports I read. Your reaction to—’ she looked down at her waist awkwardly, unwilling to put it into words ‘—well, all
this
was so different from what I expected, given what was supposed to have happened back then. I don’t know what to think,’ she said softly.

‘I would never want to get rid of a baby,’ he announced. ‘Then, or now.’

That explained a lot. Gwen’s sympathy for Angela Webbington began to waver. There was indeed more to this story than she had been able to uncover before she lost her nerve.

‘All my life I had everything, except a real family. My father merely did his duty in providing a Malotte heir. That was the extent of it,’ Etienne began with difficulty. He was tracking back over an unbearably painful time and considering each word. ‘I knew there had to be more to life than that. I searched far and wide for something to fill that emptiness. Angela was beautiful, successful, and totally unlike anything the House of
Malotte had seen in its entire history. When I got engaged to her, I assumed we would have the perfect partnership. I was wrong. That one error of judgement still haunts me. Angela wanted the Moreau lifestyle, but none of its responsibilities. She could spend and party as hard as I could, but it was beyond her to be faithful. She was neither loyal, nor even honest. Our relationship soon hit the rocks. Finally, she went behind my back and terminated that pregnancy before bothering to inform me she was carrying a child. She called the baby “a body-wrecking disruption to my career”.’ He stopped as his voice twisted with emotion.

Gwen couldn’t begin to imagine what living through that showdown must have felt like. Nothing she could say would ease his pain, so she kept quiet.

‘I had always given her a totally free rein,’ he continued. ‘She did what she liked, and never stopped to think about me or the baby. At the end, she taunted me that she couldn’t be sure the baby was even mine. When I found out you were—’ He stopped and opened his eyes, clearly wondering what her reaction would be if he said the word.

‘
Pregnant.
’ She supplied it for him. ‘It’s OK. I can take it now.’

‘I was so determined the same thing was not going to happen again,’ he continued grimly. ‘I wanted things done properly this time, right from the beginning. Yet that has turned out to be wrong, too.’

‘Yes, it has!’ Gwen burst out. She couldn’t keep quiet any longer. ‘You’ve been heavy-handed, but I should have thought about you as well as myself—should have realised
something was wrong. But now we know more about what has pulled us apart, we can work at getting back together. Can’t we?’ She looked searchingly into his face.

Etienne’s expression was guarded.

‘That’s up to you,’ he said at length.

It was a start.

‘OK,’ Gwen said slowly, feeling her way towards a conversation they should have had long ago. ‘Get the doctor back in, and I’ll promise to listen to his advice this time, as long as he’s a little nicer to me and minds his manners!’ She smiled softly and then went on. ‘Pregnancy has been the biggest shock of my life—you can’t imagine what it’s been like. But I’m getting used to it,’ she said, still trying to convince herself. ‘And I’m going to take the greatest care of our baby, believe me. But in return, I need something to do. I can’t sit around all day, being waited on hand, foot and finger. It will drive me mad, Etienne!’

He put a hand tentatively on her shoulder. ‘If I let you go back to Le Rossignol, you’ll overdo it.’

‘Of course I won’t!’ she scoffed, sliding her arms around his waist and giving him a reassuring squeeze. They both knew taking it easy would be a struggle for her. There was another long, uncomfortable silence.

‘Perhaps I could prove it to you,’ she offered eventually. ‘If you came to work with me, you could enjoy yourself in the restaurant while I’m fiddling about in my kitchens. You’ll be on hand to make sure I don’t lift anything heavier than a paring knife, and I’ll have one eye on you, watching for the first signs of boredom. You can be the one who says when it’s time to go home. I
might even let you drive me, in my car!’ She threw his old insolence back at him archly. ‘But only when I get too big to fit behind the wheel.’

Etienne looked down at her with a sudden spark. ‘You called the chateau “home”!’

Gwen looked equally startled. ‘I did, didn’t I? Am I allowed to do that?’ She tried to coax a smile from him. ‘Do you mind?’

‘Of course I don’t,’ he whispered into the fragrant silk of her hair. ‘I went overboard in trying to do the right thing, but it was only when I thought I’d lost you that I realised why. It isn’t only the baby, Gwen. I want you, pure and simple—you, and our own family, and our real, living home.’

‘That’s what I want, too,’ she said. ‘If only we had both realised from the start what that word meant, it would have saved us all this heartache.’

She had felt so helpless in the face of Etienne’s relentless efficiency. Now she saw she had been deaf and blind to his feelings, too.

He looked into her eyes. His expression was filled with such uncomplicated emotion that she held her breath.

‘Gwen, I thought Angela had killed all the human parts of me. Then you came along, and showed me how to live again. I never imagined you would leave me. When you seemed to walk out of my life, I realised that love is like sand. The harder you try and hold onto it, the faster it slips away between your fingers.’

Gwen knew this was as close as he would come to opening his heart to her. His skin felt warm and firm beneath her fingers. She felt his soft breath stir her hair.
It tickled, but nothing would have tempted her to move. For long, wonderful moments she relaxed against him. They were together again, and she was in his arms. That was all she cared about. And then something he had said filtered back through the misty happiness filling her mind.

‘Love?’ she repeated. ‘Etienne…?’ She paused—unable to summon the courage to finish the sentence.

He stirred. She felt it through the creased, damp ruin of his designer shirt. When he spoke, she realised it was the movement of a restless spirit trying to settle.

‘That depends on you.’ He spoke with an alien hesitancy. She laid her head against his chest again, and listened to the familiar sound of his heart beating. It had lost the hectic rhythm of a few moments before, and now her own pulse quickened.

With her face safely hidden from him, Gwen allowed herself a small smile. ‘No, it doesn’t. I was a victim of my heart the first moment I saw you, Etienne. I didn’t know it then, but one look at you across that crowded restaurant and I was lost. You came and found me, and that was it. Although I never thought you could feel for me in the way I feel for you now.’

When she said that his arms tightened around her, but he said nothing. She smiled and closed her eyes. Silently, he was giving her all the reassurance she needed.

‘My body took control that night. To become anything more than your mistress was a hopeless dream. I realised that. It was why I had to end things. We were opposites in everything.’

‘Well, they do say opposites attract,’ he said quietly.

Gwen nuzzled against him. She was so happy words
were barely necessary but Etienne had exposed his soul to her. It only made her love him more, and she wanted to make the next time easier for him.

‘Could we begin all over again?’ she said softly. ‘Can we start looking forward as a couple now?’

In answer, he bent and kissed her. He did it so reverently she could hardly believe he was the same vigorous lover who had blazed through her life like a comet. She melted against him. Her response fired him with all the passion that had waited so long to be released.

‘Does this reaction mean there’s one part of our past you might still want to remember?’ he murmured huskily into her neck. At the touch of his lips, Gwen quivered and went limp in his arms.

‘That was an incredible night, Etienne,’ she breathed.

He was holding her captive against his hard, hot body. She had dreamed of this moment for so long. Now it was here, she could not wait.

‘I need you, Etienne…’ Her voice was a long, slow gasp of desire.

‘How much?’ he growled. ‘As much as when I gave you our baby?’

‘More,’ she moaned. ‘More…’

His hand moved to cradle her ripening breast. As his thumb described slow, thoughtful circles over her nipple it reacted by swelling to a full peak.

‘Your body delights me more and more each day,’ he murmured into her ear. Then without another word he lifted her up and carried her back to the bed. Sculpting pillows into soft shapes beneath her tender body, he lay down beside her. His eyes were soft, but
his voice was hoarse with anticipation. ‘I’ve missed you so much, Gwen.’

She chuckled. ‘If you’ve missed anyone, it’s that girl in four-inch heels and the beautiful dress. Not Our Gwen from the valley with her morning sickness and a desperate need to get back to work.’

‘You’re wrong. Knowing that you’re far too stubborn to change is one of the many things I love about you. One of the things that makes you so special.’ He silenced her with another kiss, this time as light as thistledown. ‘And now…I want to see you naked again. It has been such a long, lonely time for both of us. Let me look at you.’

Without a word he undid her blouse, one button at a time. His movements were slow and considered. Anticipation rose up in her like a fountain. Flicking the sides of her shirt apart, he looked down with pride at the taut white lace of her bra. With movements so slow they made Gwen want to scream with urgency, he slid his hands beneath her arching body and unclipped the strap. Lifting the bra up, he exposed her breasts. Both showed the delicate tracery of pressure marks where their increasing size had been compressed.

‘Oh, poor baby,’ he murmured, and Gwen knew he wasn’t speaking to the tiny creature growing inside her. Lowering his head, he started by laying a gentle network of kisses over each breast in turn. Then, as the warm fragrance of her femininity aroused him, his foreplay quickened. His fingers were greedy for the experience of her body. His skill made her writhe beneath him. As he towered over her she prepared for the onslaught her
body craved but Etienne had other ideas. He rolled over onto his back.

‘You do it. You’re in charge.’ His words were ragged with desire. ‘I don’t want to hurt either of you.’

‘I won’t let you,’ Gwen whispered, sliding over his body until they connected with a mutual moan of pleasure.

Etienne’s delight in Gwen’s body increased her hunger for him. Their lovemaking excited her beyond the point of distraction. She forgot everything except what he meant to her. It was only hours later, when she woke in his bed at the chateau, that it all came flooding back on a tide of morning sickness.

Etienne sat up the moment he felt her stir. Instantly, he hit the remote control to pull the curtains right back from his tall windows.

‘Is that enough light for you to reach the bathroom?’

Nodding, Gwen made a bolt for anonymity. His cool and luxurious wet room was a perfect sanctuary. When she felt better, she had a shower and washed her hair. Emerging refreshed, she revelled in the sight of Etienne gazing at her like a connoisseur admiring his latest treasure. There was something about being desired when she felt so unlovable that warmed Gwen’s soul. Hot summer sunshine pouring through his windows thawed her still further. Padding back to his big, wide bed, she stretched out across it like a cat.

Etienne smiled as though he were the one who had been at the cream. ‘Flaunt yourself like that, Miss Williams, and I shall make you
very
late for work,’ he drawled.

‘Good,’ Gwen said smartly.

‘You’re humouring me.’ He chuckled. ‘From now on, I’m never going to forget what Le Rossignol means to you.’

She reached out, trailing a finger around the outline of the face she loved so much. ‘Myself, I’m beginning to wonder. You’ve opened my eyes, Etienne. While I was working all hours, I kept telling myself it was the most important thing in my life. It was only when I realised what you’d been through that I began to get things into perspective. I was kidding myself. You are the only thing I truly can’t live without. But I still don’t know how I’m going to cope with a family of our own—’

‘We’re a team, Gwen,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I want to make things better for you, but I don’t always know how.’ As he spoke he gathered her up, wet hair, damp towels and all.

‘Talk to me. Tell me things, Etienne. Give me something to think about outside of work, and I’ll do the same for you. Up until now I’ve sacrificed my social life and worked extra hard, because I thought no one could love me as much as my family did. Then I found you, but it went wrong and I missed out on all the romance of a proposal. You took control, and that was that. I wanted to be wooed and won, not organised out of existence. That was why I needed that break after my spell at the beautician’s!’