Authors: E. D. Baker
Tags: #Fiction, #Frogs, #Humorous Fiction, #Fairy Tales
"Aagh!" screamed the otter. "What have you done to me?"
"I thought you needed a little convincing. Now do you believe that I'm the swamp fairy?"
The otter snorted. "I don't know if you're the swamp fairy or just some overdressed frog, but either way I'm not giving that bracelet to you! What would you do with it anyway? The thing is almost as big as you are! You can forget it!"
"What if I make all of your fur fall out?" I bluffed. "What will you do in the winter?"
The otter glanced down at his thick pelt and shivered. When he looked up, he seemed resigned, although none too happy. "You drive a hard bargain. Wait here, I'll get the bracelet. The light from the darn thing was keeping me awake at night anyway."
I was so excited, I hugged myself with glee as the otter trudged down the entrance to his den. The sound of thumping and scrabbling came from the tunnel, and then he reappeared, his blunt muzzle speckled with dirt. Frowning his displeasure, he shoved the bracelet into my hands. It was bigger than my head and would fit easily around my neck, but I was afraid it would choke me if I suddenly turned back into a human. Although I knew it was supposed to take a kiss to turn me back, just holding the bracelet made me nervous. After all, it had already done something unexpected once. I stared at it, trying to decide what to do.
"Well?" said the otter. "Did you want something else?"
"No, no, that was it," I said, backing away. "You may go about your business again, otter."
"Huh," said the otter, scratching his head. "Fairy or not, you sure are a strange one!"
Clutching the bracelet, I hopped back along the riverbank to the tall grass where I had last spoken with Eadric, but he was nowhere in sight. I started to call his name until I realized how dangerous that would be. If the dog was somewhere around, the last thing we wanted to do was attract its attention. We were still frogs, after all, and still needed to be careful. I waited in the tall grass for the longest time, getting more and more worried, until I heard the slap of something wet landing on the mud behind me, nearly making me jump out of my skin.
"So you got it! I knew you would!"
I whipped my head around and my knees went weak with relief. "Eadric! You got away from the dog! How did you do it?"
Eadric smiled smugly and tapped himself on the chest. "I'm a better swimmer, that's how. No dog can keep up with me!"
I grinned and threw my arms around his neck in a big froggy hug. "I was so worried!"
"Why?" he asked, frowning. "I told you I'd meet you here. Now put on that bracelet before we lose it again!"
"Is something wrong?" said a voice, and I looked up to see Grassina striding through the grass.
I shook my head and grinned up at her. "Not a thing! In fact, everything is perfect! Look, I got the bracelet!" I held it up to show her. It was so big it took both of my hands to lift it.
Grassina smiled back at me absentmindedly, as if she were thinking about something else. "I know. I saw. You did very well."
"I'd like to get a little farther from the otter before I put it on, though, just in case he changes his mind."
"Good idea," said Grassina. "Although I don't think he will. Excuse me, I'll be back in a few minutes. There's something about that otter..." She walked away in a daze, not noticing the prickers that caught at her skirts as she passed.
I would have followed her or tried to make her come with us, but Eadric grabbed my arm and tugged. "Come on," he said. "Let's get this over with."
"Fine, but as soon as we're back to normal, we have to find my aunt. She looks so odd.... "
"Stop right there!" said an authoritative voice. A glimmering light descended from the sky and settled on the ground. The light swirled and shifted into the form of a fairy, her blue hair streaked with gray, her violet-colored eyes looking tired and slightly bored. Enormous, iridescent wings of violet and mauve fanned the air behind her. When she took a step toward us, her long blue flower-petal skirt, browned and curling at the edges, rustled around her ankles. Bending down, she stretched out her hand and said, "That bracelet belongs to me now!"
I gasped. "Who are you?"
The fairy glared at me. "I am the swamp fairy! The real, one and only, honest-to-goodness swamp fairy! I was told that someone was impersonating me! What is the world coming to? A fairy goes away on vacation for a couple of decades and suddenly everybody tries to take advantage Shame on you! I have to fine you for that! Hand over the bracelet!"
I took a step back. "What do you want with my bracelet?"
The fairy looked me over as if I might be hiding something. "It seems to be the only thing you have of any value, so that's how you'll pay your fine."
"No, wait! I can't give you this bracelet!" I said, clutching it to my chest. "We really need it! Isn't there anything else I can give you?"
"Nope, that's it. I don't need any firstborn tadpoles, if that's what you're thinking. So give me the bracelet and be on your way."
I couldn't do it, not when we were so close! Panicking, I turned to look at Eadric and my eyes fell on the vial of dragon's breath. "I know! Eadric, turn around!" I hurriedly untied the twine holding the vial on Eadric's back.
"I thought you said there wasn't any swamp fairy," Eadric whispered.
"I didn't think there was," I whispered back.
"But how do we know she's—"
"Eadric, don't say another word! You're going to get us in even more trouble!"
"I can hear you!" trilled the swamp fairy. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's not polite to whisper? Now I have to raise your fine!"
"Sorry," I said. "Here, would this do instead of the bracelet?" I held the vial in the sunlight so the fairy could see the beautiful swirling colors.
"What is it?" asked the swamp fairy, looking skeptical.
"It's a vial of dragon's breath. I understand it's very valuable."
"Dragon's breath? I haven't seen any of that in ages! Here, let me have it!"
I started to pass the vial to the swamp fairy, but I was fumble-fingered and it slipped out of my hand. My heart jumped into my throat when the vial landed with a thud on her foot.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" she said, hopping on one foot while cradling the other in her hand. "You dropped it on me! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Eadric and I backed behind a clump of grass, trying to stay out from under the hopping fairy. "I'm sorry!" I said, feeling like an idiot. "I didn't mean to!"
"Never mind that!" said Eadric. "Is the vial all right?"
The swamp fairy gave him a nasty look. Ignoring Eadric, I hurdled over the grass and bent down to pick up the vial. When I offered it to the fairy, she snatched it from my hand and gave me a nasty look as well.
The fairy uncorked the vial and sniffed it cautiously. Her face promptly turned a bright green. Coughing, she rammed the cork back into the opening. "Hoo-wee! Does that stuff ever stink! That's dragon's breath, all right. Sure, I'll take this as your fine. I have a good friend who's a dragon. He's getting old and fat and has been short of breath for years. This would make a great birthday present for him. But now you have another fine to pay. Two, come to think of it. One fine for whispering about me, and the other for hurting my foot! What else have you got that you can give me?"
"Why, nothing, other than the bracelet."
"Then I'd better take that as well. It is awfully pretty...." Grabbing the bracelet, the fairy turned it over and shook it, smiling when the light danced on the little symbols.
"But we need it!" Eadric wailed. "Without that bracelet, we'll be stuck as frogs forever!"
"Really?" said the fairy. "What does this bracelet have to do with you being a frog?"
I didn't want to tell her, but Eadric had already said too much. I couldn't see any harm in telling her the rest. "I was a human until I kissed Eadric, but I was wearing the bracelet "
The fairy's eyes opened wide. "And the bracelet
turned you.
into a frog?"
I nodded. "Yes, it's a—"
"Here! Take it!" she said, thrusting the bracelet at me. "The last thing I want to do is turn into a frog! Imagine, me as a hairless, slimy—"
"Hey!" said Eadric, scowling at the fairy. Afraid of what he might say, I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow.
"But that's all we have," I said.
The fairy took a step back. "Never mind. The dragon's breath will do just fine. If you promise never to impersonate me again, I'll forget your other offenses and we'll call it even."
"Oh, I promise!" I said.
Eadric and I hopped away from the river as if a dragon were after us. Faster than you can say "four fat frog feet" five times fast, we had jumped through a small copse of saplings and into a nearby meadow.
"Now can you put it on?" Eadric asked as soon as he'd caught his breath. "I hate to be pushy, but something else is bound to happen if you don't."
"Just a minute," I said, setting the bracelet on the ground. Since the bracelet seemed to remain the same size no matter what, I wasn't going to take any chances. I sat down, placed my wrist inside the bracelet, and patted the ground. "Eadric, have a seat over here."
Eadric hurried to sit beside me. "I'm ready," he said, puckering his lips.
"Let's hope this works!" I crossed my fingers and leaned over to kiss him.
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see the dirty white dog trotting into the meadow, its nose held high as it snuffled the air. A sparrow shot from the ground by the dog's feet, but the beast swung its head from side to side as if homing in on a scent, oblivious to everything else. I tried to ignore the dog as I kissed Eadric long and hard on the lips. When nothing happened right away, Eadric's face drooped in disappointment and I felt as though I was about to cry.
A breeze blew from behind us, carrying our scent directly toward the dog. With his ears pricked forward, he swung his head in our direction and trotted toward us, his tail wagging like a flag. Resigned to certain doom, I was watching the dog when my fingers and toes began to tingle. The feeling spread up my arms and down my legs. A shiver ran along my spine, chased by the golden, fuzzy feeling. Once again my head felt light and full of bubbles. Once again a tremendous wind rushed past me and I fell to the ground with a gray cloud filling my head, but not before I saw the dog collapse as well.
W
hen I woke, my head felt woozy; nothing would come into focus. Gradually my vision sharpened, but everything looked different. The colors seemed duller and there were fewer of them. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the funny feeling in my ears, not liking the way the sounds were muffled. Glancing down, I saw that my clothes looked just the way they had on the day I had turned into a frog. My blue gown and kirtle were only slightly soiled, but no more than they had been when I kissed Eadric. My soft leather shoes were still damp, the mud on them fresh.
I heard a sound and turned to see Eadric struggling to sit up beside me. He was wearing a warm traveling cloak over his clothes, and his boots were splattered with muck. His tousled brown curls framed a strong jaw, laughing eyes, and a nose as prominent as my own. He was slightly pudgy and rather short. I thought that he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.
Eadric looked at me and grinned. "We did it!" he said, laughing out loud.
"Finally!" I agreed. I had been convinced so often over the last few days that I was about to die that I felt giddy with relief now that I was a human again.
"You look beautiful, Emma."
"You do, too."
"But aren't you tired of wearing those wings?" He reached behind me and tugged something loose from the back of my dress. The dragonfly wings lay in his hand, limp and broken.
"Oh," I breathed, taking the wings from him. "I'll cherish them forever."
"Those old things!" said Eadric. "Why would you want to keep them?"
"Eadric, how can you say that? They made me look like a beautiful swamp fairy!"
When I tried to stand, my movements were stiff and awkward. I took a step and tripped over my own feet, landing in Eadric's arms. He held me with my head cradled on his shoulder so that I was looking up into his eyes.
"I was hoping I could get another kiss," he said, his eyes laughing.
"You never give up, do you? Well, I'm sorry! I'm not kissing anybody until I get this back to my aunt Grassina!" I raised my arm and jingled my bracelet next to his ear. "I don't want to—"
"—take any chances," Eadric finished for me.
"We'd better be careful or we're going to end up finishing each other's sentences like Clifford and Louise."
"Who?" Eadric asked.
"Never mind. I'll tell you all about it when we have the time."
Something snorted, sounding like the chuffing of an ancient dragon. Startled, Eadric and I looked up. A white horse with a silver mane lay on its side, trying to roll to its feet. Saddled for riding, it wore the trappings of royalty.
"Eadric! Why did you run away?" whinnied the horse.
"Brighty?" said Eadric, shading his eyes against the sun. "Is that you?"
"Who's Brighty?" I asked.
"My horse, Bright Country! I left him tied to a tree while I hunted for the meadwort and that's when I ran into Mudine. I was so worried about you, boy!"
With a lunge and a flurry of hooves, Brighty rolled to his feet and stood with his legs wobbling beneath him. "Dang, I'm sore!" he grumbled. He snorted again and looked toward Eadric, who dumped me on the ground and climbed painfully to his feet.
"Hey!" I said, struggling to sit up. "Why did you do that?"
"I've got to go. It's Brighty!"
I looked at his horse again. There was something about... "That's where the dog was standing when we kissed!" I said. "The big white dog that was chasing you!"
"You don't suppose that Mudine cast a spell on Brighty, too?"
"I guess it's possible! Then the reason the dog was chasing us ..."
Eadric stumbled toward his horse. "Brighty! I always knew you were a good and faithful beast! You wanted to be with me, even when I was a frog!" With a happy sigh, Eadric flung his arms around the horse's neck and hugged him. Brighty leaned into his owner, making the prince stagger back.
The horse snorted, his breath ruffling Eadric's hair. "I've been looking for you everywhere! I saw that woman turn you into a frog; then she came after me. I was a dog, Eadric! You can't imagine what it was like. I had this urge to sniff everything! And some things were really disgusting and I didn't want to eat them, but I couldn't help myself. I'm so glad I found you. I knew if I did, everything would be all right. Don't ever leave me like that again!"
"Everything will be fine now, Brighty. I'm here," said Eadric, hugging his horse again.
I smiled and let out an unladylike snort of my own. "I bet your horse would kiss you if you let him."
"I wouldn't dare," said Eadric. "With all the magic that's been floating around here today, there's no telling what might happen."
"Speaking of magic, we'd better go see what happened to my aunt. That look on her face—it was almost like someone had cast a spell on her! And she was going toward those flowers ..."
Leading Brighty by the reins, Eadric followed me through the meadow to the riverbank. Everything looked so much smaller than it had when we were frogs that I felt as though we'd entered a different world. The weeds that had shaded us from the heat of the sun now brushed against our ankles. I almost missed the clump of tall grass, for now it rose no higher than my knees. It was disconcerting to see the world so radically changed, and I know it bothered Eadric as much as it did me, because I caught him rubbing his eyes and staring at what we would once have considered an enormous butterfly, but now it seemed only average.
I heard voices talking as we neared the willow. I even thought I heard Grassina's laugh. After persuading Eadric to tie his horse's reins to a convenient branch, I hiked up the hem of my gown and clambered awkwardly over the uneven ground in search of my aunt Grassina. Still following the voices, we passed the den, and there, just beyond a jumble of rocks that jutted into the river, I found her with the otter curled at her feet. She glanced up at the sound of our approach, and I was stunned. Her smile was filled with so much joy that even her eyes sparkled with it.
"He wasn't a frog at all!" she said, taking the otter's paw in her hand. "That's why I couldn't find him. I kissed all those frogs for nothing! My mother turned him into an otter! Emma, Eadric, I'd like you to meet Haywood, my betrothed!"
Haywood tore his gaze from Grassina and looked up at me. "So you're Grassina's niece! The family resemblance is extraordinary! And you must be her beau, Eadric! Grassina has been Telling me about you both."
"I'm not her beau, exactly," Eadric said, turning to look at me.
"I saw Haywood in the farseeing ball," said Grassina, "and I had a feeling that it was him. I felt the way I do when someone comes to the door and I know who it is before I open it. Then when I saw him up close ... The spell changed his shape, but it couldn't change who he was inside."
"If it was that easy, why didn't you know it was us when we came to your door?" Eadric said, looking indignant. "You made Emma tell you the whole story and then you said you still weren't sure it was her!"
"Because my heart told me that it was Emma at the door, but my head said that she couldn't possibly be a frog. She wore the bracelet, so I didn't think it was possible. But I know to trust my heart now and my heart says that this is the same darling Haywood whom my mother sent away."
"I am a bit older, though, I'm afraid," the otter said, patting her hand with his other paw.
"Not so old, Haywood. No older than I."
The otter gazed into my aunt's eyes. "My darling Grassina, I wish we could go back to the way things were. That's all I've wanted for these many years. Do you think it's still possible?"
"Oh, Haywood," said Grassina, "I would like that more than anything in the world!"
"Kiss her," said Eadric, "and see what happens!" He grinned and turned to look at me. Seeing the surprised expression on my face, he added, "Well, it worked for us, didn't it?"
"Not at first! Aunt Grassina, you aren't wearing any charm reversal jewelry, are you? No bracelets or necklaces or anything like that?"
"No, Emma, I'm not...."
"Then what are you waiting for?" Eadric asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as if he couldn't possibly hold still.
"Nothing," Grassina said, and bent down till her mouth was only inches from Haywood's. Her hair fell forward to hide their faces, but they both had dreamy looks in their eyes when they finally drew apart. We waited for a while, watching Haywood for any sign of change. As time dragged on and we realized that nothing was going to happen, Haywood's face fell and Grassina let out a heartfelt sigh.
"I didn't really expect it to work," said Haywood, "but I was hoping ..."
Only a few weeks before, I probably would have thought it bizarre to see my aunt and an otter looking at each other with such adoration, but living as a frog had made me much more sympathetic.
"I know what we can do!" I said, too excited to keep quiet any longer. Everyone turned to look at me, but I plowed on, convinced that I was right. "Haywood, do you remember what my grandmother said you had to do to break the spell?"
The otter shook his head. "I'm sure she told me, but it's been so long. Something about dragon's breath and the lining of some seashell"
"Drat!" I said. "I knew we'd find a use for that vial! But that's all right, because the spell can still be undone by the witch who cast it in the first place. All you have to do is go see Grandmother."
"What makes you think she would do it?" asked Haywood. "She probably won't like me any better now than she did before."
"She'll do it, you'll see! You'll just have to explain things to her the right way. Every time we visit her, she complains that she has only one grandchild—me. But if she changed Haywood back and you two got married ..."
"Then she could have more grandchildren!" exclaimed Eadric. "Unless you're too old ..."
"Eadric! Please!" said Grassina, blushing a deep shade of pink, a color I'd never seen on my aunt.
"I think Emma's idea is wonderful!" Haywood declared. "And after Grassina and I are married, I'll return to my studies. Perhaps we can open a practice together, just as we'd planned!"
From the way Grassina and Haywood looked at each other, I knew that Eadric and I were in the way. But there was something I had to do before we left.
"Here," I said, removing the bracelet and handing it to Grassina. "Although it's a lovely bracelet, I don't think I'd ever be comfortable wearing it again."
"I don't blame you," my aunt said, taking her eyes off Haywood only long enough to drop the bracelet into the pouch attached to her gown.
"And if I were to kiss someone now ..."
"Hmm? Oh, you wouldn't turn into anything."
"Good!" I said. "Then it's finally over! I just have one other question. Why can Eadric and I still talk to animals even though we're human again?"
"Because you've been animals yourselves. Since you're a witch, Emma, you'll keep the ability, although Eadric may lose it if he doesn't practice often. Is there anything else?" Grassina asked, flicking her eyes in my direction. I knew her well enough to take the hint.
"Not a thing! Come on, Eadric. Let's go!"
Although I would have liked to have left gracefully, Eadric and I were both so stiff that we had to help each other up the hill. When we reached the top, I saw an ancient oak whose graying bark bore a small carved heart surrounding the words
Grassina & Haywood forever.
It made me realize that Haywood had probably missed Grassina as much as she had missed him.
Now that I knew the truth about Haywood, things that I hadn't noticed before seemed obvious. Passing his den on our way to fetch Bright Country, I saw a patch of dry grass by the opening that looked remarkably like a doormat. A collection of roughly assembled twigs resembled a crude bench. Lavender, rosemary, and thyme grew in neat little rows on the side of the hill like a miniature herb garden. Haywood may have been turned into an otter, but he had gone to a lot of trouble to make his den into a vaguely human home.
After collecting Bright Country, we made our way back along the riverbank, too sore to move much faster than a slow shuffle. We hadn't gone far before Eadric and I stopped to stretch our aching muscles. "And what about us?" Eadric asked, trying to work the stiffness out of his shoulders.
"Well, now that that's settled, I can get started on all the other things I have to do."
"Such as?"
"Such as this," I said. Eadric's eyes grew wide when I slid my arms behind his neck and kissed him. It wasn't a quick kiss like the first one that had turned me into a frog, or the lip-crushing kind that was intended to turn us back, but a long, slow kiss that was soft and gentle and very sweet.
"Wow!" said Eadric, his eyes as big as fruit tarts. Somehow, his arms had found their way around me while we kissed, and it was a very pleasant feeling indeed.
"Oh, my!" I agreed, having enjoyed it as much as he had.
"And now what?" he asked, grinning boyishly.
"And now ... Now I have to have the moat cleaned out."
"And marry that jerk, Prince Jorge?"
"Of course not! I'll just tell my mother that I won't marry him. If she insists, I'll inform her that I can't wait to tell his parents all about my adventures as a frog. My mother would never live that one down. And if he's lucky, maybe Jorge'll find the perfect woman for him, one who wears the same size shoes he does."