The Game Changer (25 page)

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just so…” She waved her hands around, unsure how to verbalize the chaos in her mind at that moment. “I’ve always been a rational person. I’m not the jealous type or the type who jumps to conclusions or gets her feelings hurt easily. Lately I just feel like I’m falling apart or something.”

“You’ve had a lot of changes in your life recently,” Julian pointed out. “You’re allowed to fall apart a little.” He circled one arm around her shoulders and squeezed her repeatedly until she laughed. “Besides, you always have Olivia to pick up the pieces…and now you have me, too.”

“Thank you.” With Julian’s arm still around her, she turned into him and hugged him quickly. When she released him, she pulled the book Ava wanted from the shelf and held it up. “Better go pay for this before she changes her mind.”

Melody was confident it hadn’t been a mistake to introduce Ava to Olivia and Julian. She had tried to convince herself that she’d simply wanted to keep Ava from being overwhelmed, but she knew now it had really been because she didn’t want to share Ava with anyone else. She’d hoped that when Ava spent some one-on-one time with her she’d realize how similar they were and that they could have a good time together, but she obviously hadn’t been ready. Her resistance was understandable, and Melody knew she would have to take it all in stride and ‘go with the flow’ as her father used to say. She could do that.

Ava was stuffing change into her purse when Melody approached the checkout. She accepted her bag of books from the cashier with a smile and a murmured thanks, then said to Melody, “I should probably give Nana back the money she gave me for lunch.”

Melody thought about that while the cashier rang up her purchase. “I could talk to Nana and suggest she let you keep the money. Maybe we could start up a bank account for you and you could have your very own money for whatever you want.”

Ava’s eyes lit up. “I’ve never had my own money before.”

“Well, now seems like a good time to start, don’t you think? Nana used to give me an allowance for doing chores, and I always got money for birthdays and holidays, so I’m sure you will too. You could buy books or clothes or save for something big. Whatever you want.”

Ava smiled slowly, but didn’t say anything. Melody turned her attention back to the cashier when he told her the total. She paid for the book and informed him she didn’t need a bag.

Melody presented the book to Ava with a little flourish. “Here you go.”

This time when Ava smiled it wasn’t shy or hesitant. “Thank you, Melody.” With her arms full of books, Ava leaned against Melody, her head resting on her chest. Taken aback, it took Melody a second to react, but then she wrapped her arms around Ava and held on tight. As she bent to kiss her niece’s head, she noticed Julian standing close by, watching.

She mouthed ‘thank you’ over Ava’s head, and Julian flashed her a broad smile.

One step at a time
, Melody thought.
I can do this.

CHAPTER 13

“This is really nice,” Olivia sighed.

Melody rolled her head lazily to the side and smiled. “It is. This is my favourite time of year, before it gets too hot.”

It was the next Friday, almost a week after the day Julian had taken Melody and Ava out for lunch. Melody and Olivia were sitting on a wooden bench by the river, enjoying the noontime sun after a lunch of take-out Chinese.

This was the first time Olivia and Melody had spent more than a few minutes together all week. With a little coaxing from Melody and Julian, Olivia had taken the costume designer job at the playhouse. She’d been busy all week with meetings and plans, and most of her free time had been spent with Cameron.

After lunch with Ava and Julian the Saturday before, Ava seemed a little more comfortable around Melody. She had been quiet at lunch, and Melody got the impression she was more of an observer, taking things in, watching her surroundings, and listening carefully even when she didn’t add to the conversation. She was unfailingly polite, answered direct questions, and even chimed in once or twice with questions of her own, mostly directed at Julian.

Melody continually reminded herself not to take it personally; she was just glad Ava seemed to be opening up bit by bit, even if it wasn’t necessarily with her. Things had progressed midweek when Melody spent an evening at her mother’s with the two of them, and Ava asked Melody to read a chapter of Harry Potter to her before bed.

“Do you really like Harry Potter or are you just saying you like it because I do?” Ava had asked her when Melody paused mid-chapter for a sip of water to soothe her throat.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Melody assured her. “I read the first Harry Potter book a year or so after it came out, so you weren’t even born yet.”

Ava had nodded, seemingly satisfied. Melody remained silent; she had the feeling Ava was working something over in her mind, and she wanted to give her a chance to speak.

“I used to daydream about Hogwarts being real,” Ava said softly, her eyes shifting out of focus. “Every night I wished for my eleventh birthday to come so I would get my letter from Hogwarts, and not be stuck with Jackie the way Harry was stuck with the Dursleys.”

Stuck
. This innocent little girl had felt stuck with her own mother; she’d been so desperate to be rescued she’d imagined a fantasy could come true. Melody hadn’t known it was possible for a person’s heart to ache the way hers was right then.

“Now I still wish Hogwarts was real, but I don’t
need
it to be real anymore,” Ava had said, tilting her head to gaze up at Melody, her face solemn, eyelids beginning to droop.

“Because you’re not stuck,” Melody ventured.

“Right,” Ava agreed, slipping further down on her pillow. “Not stuck anymore.” Her eyes had closed then, and Melody was about to turn out the light when Ava’s eyes popped open and she looked at Melody expectantly. “You can keep reading now.”

So Melody had continued to read, and somehow Ava had managed to stay awake until the chapter was finished. She’d kissed her niece goodnight, told her she could call her if she ever needed anything, and promised to see her again soon. When Melody left later that night after talking to her mother for awhile, she’d felt a lightness in her chest she hadn’t felt in a long time.

The rest of the week was a blur of work, daily phone calls with Julian, and evenings at home alone while Olivia was with Cameron.

“Do you feel like I’m neglecting you?” Olivia asked suddenly, startling Melody out of her daze. “I feel like I’ve been neglecting you.”

“You’ve been busy,” Melody said.
Did
she feel neglected? She missed Olivia, but she hadn’t thought of it in those terms until now.

“I know, but I’ve been doing a really crappy job of making you a priority.” Olivia sounded guilty, but Melody noticed she still had that happy little smile hovering around the edges of her mouth that she’d had since she met Cameron.

“Okay, fine,” Melody said in a mock-huffy voice, “I feel terribly neglected, you’re an awful friend, and I think you should spend every spare moment with me and not Cameron. Happy?”

“Not if that’s how you really feel and you’re covering it up by joking.”

“Olivia.” Melody rolled her eyes. “You really think I feel that way? I’m thrilled that you’re happy. Do I miss you? Absolutely. Did I think that when you moved here, we’d actually see each other and spend time together on a daily basis? Of course. But…” She shrugged, unsure how to carry on for fear she’d sound jealous or petulant.

“You know he’s not more important than you,” Olivia said, angling her body so she faced Melody. “You
do
know that, right?”

Melody remained silent, staring out at the river. It was such a beautiful day; the sun was shining, the sky was a vivid forget-me-not blue, and the water made a faint lulling sound as it lapped against the bank just feet away from where they sat.

“Melody.”

“I know that,” she stated firmly. “Of course I know that. It’s just…things are happening so fast with you guys. It took all of two seconds for you to become inseparable.”
And he’s slowly taking my place in your life
, she added silently.

A moment of silence passed, then another. Melody continued to look straight ahead, and when she finally looked at Olivia, she had turned back around to face forward. Her expression was dark, brows drawn together tightly, mouth in a grim line.

“What are you thinking?” Melody asked.

Olivia let out a strange little laugh. “I’m not sure you want to know.”

Melody’s stomach dropped. She didn’t like the direction this conversation was going. “I do. We tell each other everything.”

“Do we? Because I wonder how long you’ve felt this way and kept it to yourself.”

“Felt what way? You were the one who asked if I felt neglected, and I told you what I thought. Things are happening fast, you have to admit that.”

“What would you prefer, Mel? That I be in a relationship that goes nowhere like your relationship with Rick?”

The moment the words were out of Olivia’s mouth, she looked horrified. She raised both hands to cover her mouth, and shook her head. “That was…I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“It’s fine.” Melody barely recognized the hard edge in her own voice. Olivia knew it was a touchy subject for her, and that Melody felt like a failure and a fool for staying in a relationship that clearly had no future. She’d had blinders on the last three years; nobody had told her they thought she was making a mistake, and she’d had to learn the hard way. She knew that was life, but she wished somebody had sat her down and really asked her if she was happy, if she knew what she was doing. Maybe she wouldn’t have wasted all that time in a dead-end relationship.

Melody stood abruptly and began gathering the trash from their take-out lunch. “I need to get back to work.”

“No, Mel, don’t leave. Please. You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Olivia pleaded, rising from the bench and trying to grab Melody’s hands as she shoved garbage into the paper bag from the Chinese restaurant.

“It’s fine,” Melody repeated. “I really do need to get back to work. I’ll see you…” She was about to say ‘tonight’, but then remembered Olivia and Cameron had plans for the night. Again. “Whenever.”

She met Olivia’s eyes briefly and wondered if the hurt there mirrored her own. She almost gave in and sat back down, but the alarm on her cell phone went off, signaling it was time for her to return to work. She nodded to Olivia and headed across the grass to begin her walk to the office.

She hated leaving things like this, with hurt feelings and misunderstandings. She and Olivia almost never fought. People never believed her when she told them that, but it was true. Even growing up, they’d rarely had arguments, and when they did they would hash it out, then get over it just as quickly. They needed each other—nobody understood them as well as they understood each other.

Too many things were changing too quickly, and so much of it felt like it was beyond Melody’s control. She didn’t like feeling powerless, and she also didn’t like these new emotions that were surfacing. She wasn’t sure where they were coming from, or why they were making this sudden unwelcome appearance in her life, but she hoped she could get control of them soon. She heard her mother’s voice in her head telling her dad it was ‘just a phase’ whenever she and Olivia got into something new.

She hoped this was just a phase. A weird quarter-life crisis kind of phase. She looked up at the sky and shook her head; it was amazing how a beautiful blue-sky day could turn sour in the blink of an eye.

*****

When Melody shut down her work computer a few hours later, it hit her that she didn’t want to go home. She’d been spending too much time at home lately, and too much time alone.

She didn’t think Olivia would be there, but she wasn’t quite ready to face her. She wasn’t sure why; maybe it was because she knew they had to hash things out, but she wasn’t looking forward to it.

When she’d taken her mid-afternoon break, there was a text message from Olivia waiting on her cell phone. It said simply, ‘I’m sorry. I love you.’ Melody had replied with, ‘I’m sorry too, and I love you.’ They’d always hated knowing the other was angry or upset, which was likely why they’d never been able to stay in a fight for long. It didn’t mean everything was okay, it was more of an ‘I don’t necessarily like you right now but I’ll always love you’ sort of thing that Melody imagined was common between best friends who were more like siblings.