The Geek and His Artist (9 page)

Jimmy nodded. “Thanks. I love you too.” He let go and stepped back.

“Oh, and put some gas in the car on the way home.” She turned toward to living room.

And just like that, Jimmy had been accepted.

He’d never questioned his parents’ love. They’d always told him they loved him, encouraged him, been proud of him. Even his sister Amy, despite being annoyed as older sisters always were, made sure he knew she loved him.

But knowing they loved him and knowing they accepted him were two different things. “Uh, Mom?”

She paused and turned around. “Hmm?”

“Is… will Dad…?”

She smiled. “He accepted my bisexuality, honey. And he knows you’re gay. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.” Jimmy nodded and escaped into the cold January air. He paused at the car and breathed deeply, letting the icy evening cool his cheeks. When he felt like he could drive without slamming into a telephone pole, he climbed into the car.

J
IMMY
PULLED
up to the corner Simon had told him to go to and turned the car off. He could see the front of Simon’s apartment building from where he sat, and hoped against hope that nothing had changed since Simon had called earlier that day. He allowed himself to wish he could go to the door, knock, and greet Simon’s parents like a normal boyfriend would.

But he pushed the thought away and got out of the car, hoping the cold air would help keep his head where it belonged. He did
not
want to think about the conversation he’d just had with his mother—any part of it—or things that were impossible. He glanced at his phone, making sure he hadn’t missed any calls, and checked the time. He was a bit early, but not by much. He rounded the car and leaned against the passenger door, watching the front of Simon’s building again.

He didn’t realize how nervous and worried he was until he saw Simon come out. In that moment he felt his tension drain, and he could breathe better again.

Simon spotted him and waved before hurrying over to the car. He wore a black T-shirt with the Green Lantern symbol on it, his blue flannel shirt, jeans, a battered peacoat over them, and his Converse. As he approached, Jimmy realized Simon must have washed them. Happiness that Simon tried to look his best and sadness that it was all Simon had to wear fought within Jimmy. But Jimmy forced himself to ignore the sorrow and focus on the fact that Simon obviously cared enough to look as good as possible for him.

Simon paused, and they stared at each other for a long, silent moment.

“Hi,” Jimmy finally said, a little embarrassed at being a bit tongue-tied, especially after a week of talking at school. He wondered at the breathless sound to his voice.

“Hi,” Simon replied, equally breathless, but Jimmy figured that had more to do with the fact that he’d run down the block. “So, uh, we’re not in school.” Simon’s cheeks reddened, and Jimmy didn’t think it had anything to do with the cold.

He puzzled over the comment for a moment, and when the meaning hit, he smiled. “Is… is it okay here?” He glanced up toward the apartment building.

Simon nodded. “He’s not home. He goes to a bar down in South Side, and he left a while ago.”

“Good.” Jimmy’s smile widened, and he pulled Simon up against him. Glancing around to make sure they were alone—he did
not
want this interrupted by hate—he cupped Simon’s face in his palms and closed the short distance. “I’ve been waiting all week to do this,” he murmured, then brushed his lips across Simon’s lightly. It could just barely be called a kiss, but it sent a shock through him. He pulled back, his eyes wide, to meet Simon’s equally stunned expression.

“Did… did you feel that?” Simon whispered.

Jimmy couldn’t speak, could only nod. He blinked, then leaned in to kiss again, wanting to know what that was. While it was his first kiss, he’d never expected—or even heard of—something like that happening. He brushed his lips over Simon’s again, then added a bit of pressure. The same feeling went through him, but he didn’t pull away this time. Instead, he slid his arms around Simon, tilted his head a little, and put even more behind the kiss, nibbling on Simon’s lips, thrilling when Simon did the same.

Simon’s arms came around him, hands gripping his coat, and Jimmy felt Simon’s tongue against his lips. He opened, moaning softly when that tongue slid along his. He got completely lost in the taste of Simon, the feel of the man against him, that—whatever it was—going through him, and it wasn’t until his lungs screamed at him for air that he broke the kiss. They both panted hard, eyes locked on each other. “Wow” was all Jimmy could manage to say.

Simon grinned. “I like that reaction.”

Jimmy’s cheeks heated, but he smiled too. “I’m going to have to try harder to get it from you.”

Simon laughed. “You just beat me to it.”

“Okay. I’ll take that,” Jimmy agreed, chuckling. He leaned in and kissed Simon again, keeping it short this time. “If we don’t get going, though, I’m afraid we’ll freeze to death, standing here, kissing.”

“There are worse ways to go.”

“Yeah, but I want more than a kiss from you, eventually.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he blushed bright red. He closed his eyes. “I can’t believe I said that.”

“Why?” Simon asked, and Jimmy opened his eyes and looked down at his boyfriend.

“Uh, well, just… didn’t think….” He sighed. “I seem to be not doing that a lot lately. I just figured it wasn’t something I should say this soon after we started dating. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Simon said, smiling. “Well, I think we’re kind of different, anyway, aren’t we?” He shrugged one shoulder, dropping his gaze to Jimmy’s jacket. “With… The Bastard and all.”

“You’re right about that.” Jimmy tilted Simon’s face up and dropped another light kiss on his lips. “I will only say this once tonight: you don’t
ever
have to go back. Mom says you can come home with me anytime. Now—” He brushed his lips over Simon’s forehead. “How about we actually have a date?”

Simon stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

Jimmy nodded and stepped back, opening the passenger door.

Simon smiled and slid into the seat. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Jimmy closed the door, went around the car, and folded himself behind the wheel. “This isn’t the most… uh… tall-person-friendly car.”

Simon laughed. “I can see this. Where do you get your height from, anyway?”

“Dad,” Jimmy said, pulling out of the space. “He’s even taller than me by a couple of inches. So….” He took a deep breath, then paused to focus on traffic for a few. “So, I, uh, inadvertently came out to my parents tonight.”

“You did?” Simon asked, sounding stunned.

Jimmy glanced over and nodded, smiling. “Yeah, uh, apparently, my mom’s known I was gay since before I did.”

“Wow. And… they’re okay with it?”

Jimmy chuckled. “Yeah. Mom was so okay with it, she felt the need to give me a safe-sex lecture.”

“Oh God.” Simon sounded a little strangled but ended up laughing.

“Yeah, you can say that again. I wanted to die of embarrassment, but she wouldn’t let me.” He frowned as the other thing his mother mentioned resurfaced. “I… I want to ask something, kind of need to, but… I don’t know if I should.” Simon didn’t respond, and Jimmy was grateful when he stopped at a light. He looked over to see Simon very still and slightly paler than usual.

“What… what do you want to ask?”

Jimmy sighed. “Have…. Did…. Did The Bastard ever—”

“No,” Simon said firmly, then took a deep breath as if to say more. But someone honked and Jimmy realized the light changed, so he turned back to drive. “Sorry.”

Jimmy turned onto Brownsville Road, then reached over and took Simon’s hand. He hated the shakiness he felt. “You have nothing to be sorry for.
I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”

“No, you… you have a right to know. But, no, he didn’t. He, uh, he used to rape my mother. I used to hear her through the thin walls, begging him to stop. He, uh, he once told her if she’d had a girl, he might have left her alone.”

“Oh dear God,” Jimmy whispered. His stomach twisted, and he briefly wondered if he’d be able to eat dinner. He forced the thought away. “I… I’m sorry for your mother and any possible sister you might have had, but I’m really,
really
glad he never touched you like that.”

“Me too,” Simon whispered.

“I’m sorry for bringing this up. I shouldn’t have.” He lifted Simon’s hand and kissed it.

Simon squeezed his hand. “No, I mean it. You have a right to know. If we….” He cleared his throat. “If we ever, uh, have sex, you’d want to—need to—know that.”

Simon stayed quiet as Jimmy took the turn toward Homestead and had to let go of Simon’s hand to shift. Jimmy felt better when Simon rested a hand on his thigh. “I hate the traffic here, but it’s the best way to get there.” He focused on driving, switching lanes as he needed to. Jimmy took the last two turns, then finally took a spot in front of the Steak ’n Shake. “I hope this is okay for dinner.”

Simon hesitated, then nodded. “This is fine. I’ve actually never eaten here.”

“It’s good. It’s not really steak, it’s burgers, and they have
really
good milkshakes. Stay there.” He climbed out of the car and came around to open Simon’s door. “Also, and I know this is probably going to embarrass you, but I don’t know how else to say it, okay?” He waited until Simon nodded. “I’m paying tonight.
I
asked
you
out, and my mom taught me that if
I
asked, it was my responsibility to pay.”

Simon’s cheeks turned a little red, but he nodded. “Could I buy us coffee or something later?”

Jimmy smiled. “I’d like that.”

“Okay, thanks,” Simon murmured.

Jimmy took Simon’s hand and wished, not for the first time since they’d started talking, that Simon hadn’t gone through the shitty life he had. He couldn’t change Simon’s past, though, and he needed to remember that. Instead, he focused on the future. It was obviously going to take work, but he was determined to get Simon out of that shithole he lived in, and maybe, just maybe, form a nice future for them together. He pushed the thoughts away and focused on their date.

It seemed to take Simon some time to relax and let go of the earlier conversation, but eventually he did, as evidenced by the return of his laughter and smile. Jimmy listened to stories about Kip, Deck, and Tony—Simon’s friends who he hadn’t managed to meet yet—and memories of Simon’s mother, Rachel. Jimmy told him some of the goofier things Ronnie and Sean had gotten up to and talked about his family too. In fact, they were so lost in the conversation, they almost missed the movie.

“Shit! Oh, uh, what time did you need to be home?”

Simon shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. The Bastard will stumble in around two, fall face-first onto the bed, and pass out without even looking to see if I’m there.”

“Are you sure?” Jimmy frowned. The last thing he wanted was to be the reason Simon got into trouble.

Simon nodded. “Oh yeah. The first Saturday after he gets his unemployment, he always does that. Spends all night at the bar, has someone drop him off, and then he passes out until almost noon on Sunday.” Simon shrugged. “Best night of the month, to me.”

Jimmy smiled. “I can understand why. Okay. I thought we might go see a movie. If that’s okay with you.”

“All right.” Simon returned Jimmy’s smile.

Jimmy quickly took care of the check, made sure to open Simon’s door for him again, and they drove the ridiculously short distance back to the other side of The Waterfront to the movie theater. He lucked into a spot not too far out, and he and Simon made their way to the box office. “I’ve heard good things about
47 Ronin
. It’s not the… happiest ending, but….”

Simon nodded. “I’ve heard good things too. That’s fine with me.”

Tickets in hand, Jimmy offered popcorn, but Simon claimed he was still full from dinner. Jimmy bought a soda, though, and they found seats about halfway back in one of the smaller theaters. Jimmy sat to Simon’s right, setting the drink between them, then frowned. Did he put his arm around Simon? Did they hold hands? The theater was mostly empty, as Steak ’n Shake had been, so when he’d held Simon’s hand at the restaurant, all they’d gotten was one dirty look from the waiter for the other section. Here, well, it’d be dark.

“I… would you mind if I put my arm around you?” He felt ridiculous asking but couldn’t seem to decide on his own. Simon hadn’t had a problem yet with the hand-holding or the few light hugs they’d shared—or even the one earlier—but Jimmy still wasn’t quite sure what to expect because of Simon’s abuse.

Simon looked up at him, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah, you… you don’t have to ask something like that.”

Jimmy shrugged a shoulder. “I didn’t know how… uh… touchy or… public you’d want to be.”

Simon blinked at him a moment before understanding dawned. “Oh! No, I don’t care. Not… not with you.” The last was nearly whispered.

Jimmy tilted his head. “Not with me?”

“Well… I….” Simon blew out a breath, and Jimmy put an arm around him and waited. Simon sighed. “I’ve learned to try to be invisible. I…. If they don’t notice me normally, they won’t notice me if I have… uh… bruises and stuff.” He dropped his gaze, and Jimmy fought to contain the rage that wanted out. He wanted to find The Bastard and pound the slime into goo, but he knew it wasn’t what Simon needed. He needed to see Jimmy calm, needed to be safe with Jimmy.

Jimmy had called his sister on Tuesday evening as soon as he got home from school. She was finishing an internship in Harrisburg for her master’s in social work. Once he’d explained about Simon and his suspicions, she tried to get him to call CYF immediately, but he wasn’t quite ready to force the issue on Simon. She’d tried to insist, said if it was
anyone
but him, she’d be required to call and report it herself. But she listened as he told her everything he knew—that Simon was already considering leaving, and Jimmy suspected that if he called now, he’d only alienate Simon and possibly make things worse.