Then he pulled out from under her, put her torso up on the chair so that she knelt now, her ass poking back, and without ceremony brought his huge cock up and into her pussy. She received it silently and with great awareness. She pushed her ass back and engulfed his tool. He came up on his toes, his knees bent, so that he crouched over her like a dog, and thrust with all the power of his calf and thighs, his coiled legs driving him forward like a football player bucking into the opposing line. She was pinned and the chair was against the wall, so that she made an immovable cushion for him, a flesh dummy for him to pile into. As he did. For almost fifteen minutes, gathering a strength I didn’t know was in him, he slammed his weight and power into her bruised ass, his cock making mincemeat of her cunt, hitting into the tender flesh with no concern for her sensitivity. She didn’t move or cry out, but seemed paralyzed with ecstasy and pain, letting him work his will on her without reserve, just being an open pussy for his cock, being a vessel for his wrath and sex and frustration, absorbing him.
I watched with interest, and then horror, and finally excitement. Cries began to form in his throat. The sweat glistened on his back. His face looked that of a wolf tearing at the flesh of a freshly killed deer. He grunted like a bear and his hands curved like talons and dug into her shoulders. The muscles on his legs bulged, and now he threw himself into her like a man hurling himself off a cliff. The wall shook and the chair shuddered and Ina seemed to sail into semi-consciousness as her small, tender cunt was ravaged by the immense sailing cock, and her ass, already showing welts, was smashed into by his bucking body. Finally a series of cries came from his throat, higher and fuller, until with a loud long shout he shuddered up the entire length of him and bucked again and again into her, shooting what must have been a cupful of sperm into her elated cunt.
He slumped over her and in a moment slid to the floor. She seemed plastered to the chair. I hoisted myself over the arm of the chair and sat down in it crosslegged, and raised her head to put it in my lap. Then holding her head up by the hair with one hand, I brought my cock to her mouth and inserted the tip of it between her lips. She did not move. Then, slowly and deliciously, I began pulling my cock, already very excited, until in a short time I felt the scalding geyser rise up until it spurted out. As the sperm came shooting out of my cock, I pushed her head forward so that I shot it deep into her throat. I kept my cock there until she swallowed, then pulled out.
We lay around like that for fifteen minutes, and then, one by one, we got up and stumbled off to different places, bathrooms, bedrooms. I took a shower and put on some fresh clothes, and noted that it was only nine o’clock and I wasn’t sleepy. I went downstairs to find Ina making coffee and Michael putting some music on the stereo. They were both dressed and seemed very calm. If anyone had come in just then they would have found a very mundane scene, a suburban psychiatrist and his lovely wife entertaining a friend for an overnight stay. The three of us looked at one another, and it became immediately clear that no one wanted to talk about what had happened. It was rich and complex, and each of us undoubtedly had a hundred possible ways of looking at it. But we all felt quite delicious and cool, and any post mortem psychologizing would have taken the fine edge off the mood.
There was no way of knowing what this would do for their marriage, or our friendship, but I suspected that no drastic changes would take place. And whether we did something like this again would depend entirely on circumstance and mood. I looked at Ina; she smiled inside herself at me, and looked away. I looked at Micahel; he winked and smiled. I thought of Regina. If she were here, the four of us could . . .
And then I tripped over myself. No matter how I turned and moved, no matter where I went, every time I turned an important corner, there was Regina. It seemed as though there were some great finger in the sky pointing at her, trying to make me understand something in relation to her. At the moment I felt no need for her, nor any romantic love for her; but her presence was thorough and implacable. And as I walked into the kitchen, I resolved that I would have to plumb the situation more deeply yet. It seemed that Regina was destined to be a part of my life no matter what my conscious mind decided. Socially I might want to be alone, but zoologically, I needed a mate. And no matter how I tried to get around it, the mate seemed to be her. The thought simultaneously gladdened and depressed me, as Ina came in with a tray of refreshments.
Yes, this was the way it should be. The woman’s body beneath me, her eyes closed as her face showed a kaleidoscope of emotions, biting her lips, opening her mouth in breathy wonder. Diana opened her legs even further, and her legs and pelvis became a tree trunk and ocean, the thick thighs spread out and leading into her hips, the whole area a wide fleshy pool of sensation. And then her narrow waist rising out of it, curving gracefully up to her boyish torso which then exploded in ripe, sensitive breasts. Her arms lay above her head, as though she were tied to a post, and they too made a long sweeping line from her wrists to her armpits, which now showed in all their hairy vulnerability. I was raised up on my knees and hands, my arms stiffly supporting my body. And my cock lay imbedded in her cunt. From where I looked, I could see the gleaming shaft rising and falling from her pubic hair.
My cock was like a lever and all the buttons were inside her pussy. If I moved up, she would twitch and roll her ass. If I moved to the side she would bring one leg up. If I dropped down and sank deep into her from below, bringing my cock directly between her legs and vertically up into her hole, she shuddered and gasped and brought her hands up to grab my shoulders. She was like a sensual puppet, inert and ready to respond to every manipulation. I admired her great ability to be passive, to trust to her own feelings and the fact that I wouldn’t hurt her. So many women kept constantly on guard, waiting for something to go wrong, waiting for the pleasure to depart, that they never were able to just let go and let it happen to them.
I reached down and nipped Diana on the breast. Her eyes opened in surprise and then she smiled. She brought my head down and raised up to place her lips on mine. Her mouth was all giving. It was as though she were speaking a fluid and alien language, very rapidly and in total silence. And although I didn’t understand any of the words, the meaning was totally clear. Her tongue became a wonder worker, licking my face, teasing my lips.
I slid my hands along her arms and pinned her wrists to the couch. She let herself fall back again and gave herself to the experience. I leaned down and licked all the skin from between her breasts to her throat, and then around to her jaw and up to her ear. When I plunged my tongue deep inside her ear, she moaned loudly and began grinding her pelvis against me. Her cunt became a hot wet hand squeezing my cock, grabbing it insistently, loving it with a singular intensity. I felt myself sinking into the sloshing tightness of her box when her legs came up and wrapped themselves around my waist. I breathed hotly into her ear and lapped at all the delicate bony ridges inside and around the edge. I felt her nails dig into my forearm. “Talk to me,” she said, “tell me what you want.”
I was caught short by the request, and then I let the fantasies go. “I want your open cunt a million miles wide. You’re all pussy, baby, all the way up to your eyes. Nothing but cunt and ass, big ass. I want you to go down and lick my cock, and just keep sucking it and loving it until you can’t keep your mouth open anymore.” As I spoke, her breath became heavy and she began to move faster, more rhythmically, now pumping her cunt against me harder. “I want to spread you over a bed, with your beautiful cunt flying high and your ass inviting, and then have a hundred men come in to see you, to watch you pull your cheeks open, and beg them to fuck you.” She began to moan and writhe. “You want it too, don’t you, you little bitch,” I whispered. “You want to have all those cocks in your mouth, to have them all come on your tongue so you can swallow them all. You want to go begging on your knees to have them fuck you in the ass. I want to take you in the ass, right now.” She keened and pulled me closer with her legs. “No,” she said, “please, not now, just keep fucking me.”
“You want me to fuck you?” I said. “Yes, please.” I pulled my cock back and kept it at the tip of her cunt. She strained up for it, to bring it into her cunt. “Beg,” I said. “Tell me what you’re willing to do.”
“I’ll do anything,” she sobbed.
I pulled out of her completely and immediately moved up to her face. She looked at me and a shadow of fear passed through her eyes. I brought my cock up to her mouth, and then leaned down. “Start licking,” I said. She made a small shrugging motion with her shoulders and her tongue came out to begin its tiny path up the length of my cock. I brought my balls up and dropped them on her mouth. Her tongue kept working, kept moving. Finally I covered her face entirely and felt her mouth go for the sensitive strip between balls and asshole, and she hungrily sucked at it, and ran her tongue up and down in thick, wet strokes. I reached down and pinched both her nipples. Her knees came up and she grabbed my thighs, to force my body to sink more heavily onto her mouth.
I moved back and brought my cock into play, rubbing it all over her face, and on her lips, and then she opened her mouth and with a despairing sigh let the rod sink deep into her. I knelt by her head so that she had to turn her face sideways to suck me off, and then I told her to bring herself off. She stopped sucking and her eyes opened to seek mine. There was a begging request to not do it. “Do it,” I said.
Then, gently, tentatively, her right hand moved down her body until it rested on her crotch. “Do it.” I said again. Her legs opened slowly and her hand moved down between her thighs. Her middle finger curved down and slid into her wet cunt all the way up to the knuckle, and then came out again. “Come on,” I said, “pretend you’re alone. I want to watch.” I pulled my cock out of her mouth and sat back. She closed her eyes and brought the tip of her finger to her clitoris. She started to stroke it lightly, up and down, and suddenly her entire body changed. It became wired, electrified. Her knees came up and her nipples became hard with ridges running through them. She began to roll her head from side to side and her ass started a small pumping motion.
Then the tip of her finger started moving like a vibrator, shaking her clitoris, jiggling it, flicking at it. She started to moan and thrash about. I moved down and lay between her legs. Her cunt was now running juices and very inflamed. I brought my mouth right up to it and drank in the heady aroma. It was too much at once, and with a groan I plunged into her churning pussy. My tongue sank into that steamy box and began lapping at the honey which flowed from it. Her other hand came down and inserted itself into her cunt. I licked and nipped at her cunt lips, and then brought my tongue up to her clitoris, lapping at it and at her finger. Finally, she took her hand away and used both her hands to spread her cunt lips apart, prying them open like a nutshell. The pink slimy inner lips were exposed, and I could feel the tight granular opening, the tiny bud which gave access to the inner heat. She pulled so hard I thought she would rip her cunt apart.
Now it was pure feasting. I ran my tongue like a scoop from deep in the crack of her ass up past her pulsating asshole, between her thighs, and up the length of her dripping pussy, to end right on her clitoris which I took and bit gently with my teeth. Dozens of times I made the same trip, until I had found the rhythm that turned her on. Now I was her sexual object, letting myself have no other function than to give her pleasure, and doing that by finding what gave me the most pleasure. Sensitive to myself, I was best for her. The sweep of my tongue up her privates became richer each time, for now my tongue paused momentarily to dig at her asshole, and changed speed and width between her legs, and plunged deeply into her cunt as I swept between the lips. Her cunt now became a bellows, swelling with air as it bellied in, and then letting the air out with a wet rush.
Finally she began to come. It started in her legs with a deep trembling. Her moans got deeper and rougher. Her fingers twined themselves in my hair and pulled at my scalp, sending tingles up and down my spine. Her ass was like a forest fire, crackling and jumping with awesome speed and strength. My mouth became as excited as my prick, and I lost all sense of what I was doing. I became a slobbering, moaning slave, licking at her cunt, sucking and lapping and moaning into her opening, begging for her to come, begging her to spend all the deepest musky fluids, and discharge them as the waves of energy rolled through her body. And then, with an unearthly cry, she threw her legs high into the air, and her cunt convulsed totally into my mouth, lips quivering, vagina vibrating, the cunt hole itself opening and closing in rapid spasms, and then the juice gushing out, as I dove deep into her and sucked every last drop out, until she was absolutely dry.
Her legs came down slowly and rested on my shoulders. I lay there for a few minutes and then extricated myself. I sat up abruptly and went off into the kitchen. I felt disappointed and a little disgusted with myself. I felt as though I had just seen the same movie for the hundredth time. It was a good movie and I enjoyed it each time, but it seemed fatuous to keep seeing it.
Regina had called me that morning, angry and hurt. She wanted to be in my life, she said, and she was willing to come to New York. She was capitulating rapidly, ready to give up many things just to be with me. And she was still being faithful to me; that’s how she wanted it. Once she told me that, when an affair had ended with someone with whom she had been very much in love (although, as she said, “I didn’t know him as well as I know you,”) she didn’t fuck for months afterwards. It was a clue to her temperament: the romantic bitch. And now it was the same scene, the combination of “I am strong enough for you,” and “I can’t live without you.” And as usual, I fell for it, letting her do her bitch act, to be followed by her baby voice. And by the time she had hung up I had promised to fly out to the Coast in mid-May, to drive back here with her and her kid for the summer. And then we would make plans for the fall in the fall.
The moment I hung up, I felt as though I had been had. She wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, and I was her accomplice, or at least some aspect of me was. I spent a good part of the day sulking and running down vicious dialogues in my head, and after dinner, I “found myself in Diana’s neighborhood. So I dropped over. She was alone, and after a bit of chit-chat we went right to fucking. We have known each other over a year, were once fierce lovers, a Scorpio-Leo confrontation, split up, and have become fucking buddies since. There’s a line that describes it: “ex-lovers like cracked china meet.”
To say that I fucked Diana to spite Regina is perhaps an accurate oversimplification. At the moment I felt shitty because it seemed I had used Diana as a prop in my inner drama. I put on water for coffee and Diana came in, very solicitous. She put her head on my shoulder.
“Something’s wrong,” she said.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“I can always tell. Whenever you don’t fuck me after eating me, I know it’s not all right with you.”
I smiled and kissed her. “You are a marvelous practical woman,” I said. “Too bad you’re a Leo.”
“Who is she?”
“Her name is Regina. And she lives in California. And she’s pretty bad in bed, and a bitch to boot, and dependent at the drop of a hat, and very ballsy, and tricky and unscrupulous. And really a decent chick but not anyone I want to get all excited about. And somehow she’s got her hooks into my soul and I can’t shake her loose.”
“That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “I’ve never known a woman to hold you when you didn’t want to be held on to. There’s something in you that wants her.”
“It may sound stupid,” I said, “but I think I love her. And it’s all wrong. I mean, it’s not what I would have wanted, and I don’t even have the feeling that goes with it.”
Diana continued the conversation by bringing her hand down to my cock and fondling it gently. I felt my rod stirring. “I don’t feel right about this, Diana,” I said. But she silenced me in the best way possible, by dripping to her knees and putting her mouth around my dick. Suddenly all thoughts of Regina became two-dimensional. I mean, they still ran through my mind, but they had lost all power to affect me. It was like meditation, where I can sit and watch the thought machine produce its effects and not get involved in any of its products to the exclusion of a total awareness of reality. I wondered what the Theosophical Society would do with the proposition that a good blow job was easily the equal of sitting quietly in the full lotus. I wondered whether Madame Blavatsky was a virgin and whether it was true that Gurdjieff liked little boys.
I looked down at the goddess licking my cock. She was kneeling in the lion pose and tonguing my balls from underneath, moving her lips up the shaft and gobbling the head, then, with a deep breath, bringing her head all the way forward and lodging my cock deep in her throat. Her ass stuck out behind and her breasts jiggled as she worked. I flashed for a moment that it would be a groove to have another man there fucking her in the ass while she ate me, and for perhaps the thousandth time I regretted that I only had one body, and only one cock. I leaned over and ran my hands down her back, letting my nails raise tiny red trails along the spine. She shuddered with delight and grabbed my cock in her hands, pulling it now, jerking off into her own mouth. I felt a kind of disinterested excitement. All the usual sensations coursed through me, but I experienced them as from a distance. I felt extremely cosmic, viewing the known universe from its periphery, watching the galaxies dance, and the many manifestations of energy do their thing. In the incredible far-away was our own scene, a speck of rock chugging around a middle-sized, middle-aged sun in a medium-sized cluster of stars. And among the smallest specks on the speck was poor old Diana kneeling on the kitchen floor sucking my cock for all she was worth, and me digging it, half out of a sense of responsibility and half out of spontaneous enjoyment.
I reached over and grabbed her under the armpits and brought her to her feet. Her eyes were dazed and her mouth a slur of flesh, wet and obscene. She looked like every drugged cocksucker in every piece of pornography that had ever appeared. Of course she was beautiful. It is only our prejudice, our insistence on prim trimness of visage, which makes the dripping cunt-face seem disgusting, when in fact a woman is never more breathtaking than at that moment, when every aspect of her essential animal is shown, with heaving breasts, hair stringy around her shoulders, excited ass and hungry twat. This was Diana now, a nameless lusting mouth, wanting cock, wanting the slobbering penetration, wanting gobs of sperm on her tongue, wanting to be pushed down and opened, to be overwhelmed and elevated all at the same time. Mother and child and witch and virgin all at once, the Cocksucker Deity, Queen of All Cunt.