Authors: Apryl Baker
Do I want to go? I know I’d told the Reaper no, but he’s giving me the same choice again now that Mattie said it
’s okay for me to go. I turn and look into the glory that is the light. I could have peace and joy for eternity within that light, but I can’t shake her voice. The pain in it overwhelms everything. It forces me to turn and look at her.
She’s sitting up, her tears splashing onto my face, my chest. I feel each one with the force of
a bullet tearing through my flesh. She has a hold on my heart not even that beautiful light can break. I can’t leave her. I can’t break my promise to her. I told her I was in it for the long haul and I meant it.
Her voice cracks as a sob breaks free, but she doesn’t stop singing. She’s determined. I take a step towards her and then another. With each step
I take, my body becomes lighter, more like the air around me. When I’m standing right behind her, my hand comes up to lie on her cheek. She sobs harder. Maybe she feels it, I don’t know.
“I’m here,” I whisper in her ear like she’s done so many times for me. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I swear it.”
“Dan?” she whispers and looks around.
I am nothing but light, air, the shadows around her. I focus on her face, on the hope in her voice, and then I’m falling.
~~~~
MATTIE ~~~~
I know I heard his voice. I felt him. Did he leave? Is he gone?
My body starts to shake and sobs consume me. Oh, God, is he gone?
“Shhh.”
I glance down and see his big old puppy dog eyes watching me. Oh, God…
“Don’t cry, Squirt.” His voice is rough, and slow. “I’m here.”
Tears run rampant down my face and all I can do is stare in wonder at those brown eyes of his. He didn’t leave me.
I fall down on his chest, wrapping him in my arms as best I can, and just cry. He’s murmuring something, but I can’t hear it over the sound of his heart beating against my chest and my own sobs. He’s here with me. He didn’t give up. He’s
here
.
Eli is the one who pulls me off him. He gives Dan some water and then the nurses and doctors are swarming. They make me leave, but I don’t go farther than outside the door. Eli’s arms wrap around me, holding me up. I turn into him and just cry. I cry like I’ve never cried before in my life. My heart pours out and he’s there, holding me, loving me.
I hear Ava say she’s going to call their dad and let him know Dan’s awake. I need to call Dan’s dad. I squirm just enough to pull out my phone and find Mr. Richards number. He picks up on the second ring.
“Mattie, what is it? Did he…?” His voice chokes and he can’t finish the sentence.
“He’s awake,” I say softly, my voice hoarse from the crying. “He’s awake and he’s talking.”
“Thank you, thank you, Dear God! I’ll be right there.”
I text Meg to let her know Dan’s awake. I plan on keeping my promise to Dan. I told him if he’d wake up, I’d forgive her and I will. For him, I’ll do anything.
He’s awake and he’s here.
He didn’t leave.
It’s hours later when the dust finally settles. Dawn is just breaking over the horizon. Dan’s parents left a few minutes ago, agreeing to drop Meg off at home, and Eli took Ava home. He needed a change of clothes, but made his father and Caleb stay until he returned. Both of them are currently camped out in the waiting room. The nurse shooed everyone out. She’d tried that with
me
, but found out quickly I wasn’t going anywhere. Mr. Richards told her to leave me be and she did—with a glare that would send even Silas cowering.
“You should be sleeping,” Dan says quietly while I sketch.
“I think you should take your own advice,” I snort back.
“I’ve been asleep for days. I’m wide awake.”
Again I snort because he follows that up with a yawn. “How are you feeling?”
Dan sighs and shifts. He can’t seem to sit still since he woke up. “I’m not sure, honestly. It’s weird.”
“Do you remember anything?” I ask.
“I remember everything,” he whispers. “I made a choice, Mattie. I chose to stay and I don’t know what the price is going to be.”
I nod. There’s always a price. It’s something I’ve tried hard not to think about since he opened his eyes.
“So I guess you heard me promise to be nice to Meg?”
He laughs and I think we’re both glad to shy away from the one thing neither of us wants to discuss. “Yeah, Squirt, I plan on holding you to that, too.”
“Figures.”
He ruffles my hair. “I heard you, too, Mattie. Every single whispered word.”
“Took you long enough to wake up,” I grouch. “You scared me, Dan. Don’t do that again.”
“I didn’t know how to wake up,” Dan says. “The Reaper who gave me the choice helped me get back to my body.”
“Wait, what?” I glance up. “How did he find you? Silas said he hid you from all Reapers, including me.”
“He said it was a miracle.” Dan shakes his head. “I didn’t believe in those before today.”
“I always believed in them,” I tell him. “Just breathing is a miracle. Don’t forget that, Dan. Every day we’re here, that we’re alive, it’s a miracle.”
Dan’s smile is soft and warm. “Very grown up words there, Squirt.”
“You said yourself I’m growing up,” I tell him. “I’m still selfish, but I’m working on it.”
“No, Mattie, you’re the most unselfish person I know,” he refutes. “You told me it was okay to go even though I knew it would hurt you in ways you’d never heal from. You were willing to let me go because it was the right thing to do and you know me. I always do the right thing. Usually.”
“Why didn’t you go?” I ask him. It’s something that’s been bothering me.
“You,” he says. “I stayed for
you
, Mattie. The Reaper told me that if I stayed it would cost others their lives and I discovered I was willing to risk all that for one very snarky, brave, little girl who means more to me than anyone in this world.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“Come on, you need to sleep, too.” He scoots over and makes room for me.
“Nurse Grouchy won’t like it,” I whisper, but crawl up next to him anyway.
He laughs. “She’ll get over it.”
“Caleb’s demon-proofing your apartment,” I say. “Your parents
’ house, though, that’s a little trickier.”
“I asked him to do my room there,” he says, absently rubbing my back. “Do you think I’ll start hearing ghosts like Mary?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
We hear someone clear their throat and look up to see my father standing just inside the doorway. He’s staring oddly at us.
“Something wrong?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Just a trick of the light.’
“Trick?”
“Just for a moment there, you two looked a little alike. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were related.”
Dan chuckles. “Dad tells us that all the time.”
I frown. The wheels start to turn even though I know it’s not possible. His mother was murdered and mine is still very much alive.
“How are you feeling, young man?” Zeke asks, coming over to sit in the chair Eli had vacated earlier.
“Better,” Dan answers. “Still tired and sore.”
“That’s to be expected,
mon cher
.” Zeke nods. “Head injuries are nasty business.”
“What are you doing here, Zeke?” I ask. It’s dawn. He should be in bed.
“I was up for an early breakfast meeting and thought I’d come by to check on you two. Nancy advised you hadn’t moved from this spot since Daniel arrived. You found him,
oui
?
“If
oui
means yes, then yeah, Mr. Malone and I found him.”
“How did you know something was wrong?” He leans forward, examining my face.
“I didn’t,” I lie. “I needed to swing by his place and get my sketchpad. I was working on a drawing and wanted to finish it. Mr. Malone asked if I could give him directions and I just hitched a ride over.”
“His father called you?”
“No, I’d called Eli and Mr. Malone asked about it while I was on the phone with Eli. He agreed to pick me up since he needed to see Dan. I knew Dan would bring me home.”
“Was the attack related to the case of the drowned girls?” Zeke looks at Dan this time.
“No, sir, not that I know of, but I haven’t had the opportunity to really speak to the detectives in charge.”
“I did and they don’t think so,” I say. “Your captain isn’t happy with you looking into a case out of your jurisdiction by the way, especially since you’re on a leave of absence. She’ll be calling you.”
Dan winces. He knows he’s in for it. No way can he explain his way around the white boards in his apartment with all the case details. I’m going to have to think hard to try and get him out of that one.
“Good, then there should be no problem in you attending the ball on Saturday,
ma petite
.” Zeke smiles. He can’t tell we’re lying. Whatever that demonic sigil was, it worked.
“I forgot!” I shoot up into a sitting position and cringe at just the thoughts of ball gowns. “I don’t have a dress!” Saturday was two days away.
“Meg can help you,” Dan says a little too quickly. “She wants to earn your trust back and I think this might be a good opportunity for you both to start trying.”
Meg, shopping…been there, done that. It is
not
a pleasant experience, but I don’t think I have a choice. She planned the event and she knows what kind of dress I need. Dang it.
“This is the same girl who wanted to press charges against my daughter?” Zeke asks, the frost in his eyes matches the tone in his voice.
“She wouldn’t really have pressed charges,” Dan assures him, but we both know she might have out of spite. “Meg was just angry because Mattie broke her nose.”
“You broke her nose?” Zeke asks, surprised.
I shrug. Meg deserved it.
“Mattie never apologizes,” Dan says and I can hear the censure in his voice.
“Nor should she,” Zeke nods. “She’s a Crane and we do not apologize to anyone.”
If nothing else, my
father is definitely arrogant. It almost makes me laugh. Dan, however, might not see Zeke’s response as humorous. His face has reverted to his best cop expression. It gives nothing away.
“Well, I must be off or I will be late for
my meeting. Now that I know my daughter is safe from whomever did this to you, I can relax. Mattie, if you’re tired, you are more than welcome to come by the apartment and clean up. Your room may not be ready, but I do have a guest room at our disposal.”
“Thank you,” I tell him.
He stands up and gives me a kiss on the forehead. Caleb and Dan do the same thing. Weird.
“No problems lying to him?” Dan asks once Zeke has been gone a few minutes.
“Easy as pie.” I settle myself back down. I really am tired. I don’t think I’ve slept in three days. I may take Zeke up on the offer. He’s not going to hurt me, at least not right now. He’d have Nancy breathing down his neck in 2.5 seconds if I show up missing.
“Well, I can say I died for a good reason then,” Dan says lightly and I smack him.
“Don’t ever say that! You died because a demon decided to use you as a guinea pig for me! That’s on me. It shouldn’t…”
Dan puts a finger to my lips to shush me. “Mattie, you believe in God and that he has a grand plan for everyone?”
I nod.
“You also agree that it was my time to die?”
“That’s what the Reaper said.” I can see where this is going and I don’t like it.
“Then we agree, I died because I was supposed to. I did what I was meant to do
—be your guinea pig. I’d do it again too, so stop it with the blame game. My purpose in life was to protect you. The Reaper and I just had different ideas about how long I was supposed to play your protector. You still need watching out for.”
“But…”
“No buts,” he says. “You can’t say you believe and then pick and choose which parts you believe in. It doesn’t work that way, Squirt. You and me, we got our miracle, so let’s leave it at that, okay?”
“Okay,” I say with a smile. Dan waking up is a miracle and I’m not about to question it.
Sometimes miracles really do happen.