The Ghost (12 page)

And as he lay there, thinking of her, remembering what he'd just seen, and those eyes that had looked at him so clearly, he whispered her name again in the darkness, but there was no answer as he listened. He wasn't sure what he expected of her, some sound, some sign. He had never heard of spirits talking to anyone, and yet she had looked as though she were about to say something. She seemed to be welcoming him, and she had been smiling. And this time, he spoke clearly in the darkness.

Merry Christmas, he said in the silent room that had once been hers and Francois's ' but there was no answer, only the gentle feeling of her presence. And in a little while, Charlie was sound asleep in the moonlight.

Chapter 5

WHEN CHARLIE AWOKE on Christmas Day, the vision of Sarah he'd seen the night before seemed more than ever like a dream to him, and he decided instantly that he wasn't going to tell anyone about it. At the very least, he would have been accused of drinking. And yet he knew how real it seemed, how certain he had been that she'd been in the room with him. He'd been absolutely sure of her presence, and he had seen her so clearly. So much so that he'd been convinced it was one of his neighbors, but it surely wasn't. He even went out to check the snow around the house, and there were no tracks there other than his own, going in and out. Unless she'd flown in by helicopter, and come down through the chimney like Santa Claus, he had had no visitors the night before. Whoever and whatever he'd seen in his bedroom on Christmas Eve had definitely not been human. And yet, in his entire life, he had never believed in spirits. For him, it was a serious dilemma. He didn't know what to think, and in the clear light of day, it seemed more than a little crazy. He didn't even think he wanted to tell Gladys. In fact, by the time he was dressed and ready to visit her, he was certain he wasn't going to say anything about it. And as he walked across the fresh snow, he kept his eye out for tracks again, but there were none other than his own, and as he got into his car, he felt the box with the pearl earrings safely stashed in his pocket.

And when he got to her house, Gladys Palmer was delighted to see him. She had just come home from church, and Charlie had even thought of going with her, but in the end he had decided not to. He had told her the night before not to wait for him, and after she gave him a warm hug, she scolded him for not coming.

I'm such a heathen, I'd probably scare all the angels away.

I doubt that. I think God must be used to heathens. If we were all angels, it would be very boring. He smiled at her, and a few minutes later, he handed her the present, and she opened it very carefully, smoothing the ribbon with her hands, and then opening the paper as delicately as possible so as not to destroy it. He always wondered why people did that. What were they planning to do with all the saved ribbon and paper? They never seemed to use it. But she put it aside as his grandmother had done when he was young, and opened the box with great caution, as though a lion might be in it, or a mouse, and she gave a little shout when she saw them. She loved the pearl earrings he'd bought her, and her eyes filled with tears as she thanked him. She said that Roland had bought a pair for her much like them long since, and she had been heartbroken five years before when she lost them. These were almost identical, only they were slightly nicer, and she said so.

What a dear boy you are, Charles, she said with deep feeling. I don't deserve you. You really are my Christmas gift, aren't you? She didn't even want to think now about how much lonelier she'd be next year, without him. She couldn't imagine him staying in Shelburne Falls forever. But she was grateful for his presence in her life now, his sudden appearance and unexpected arrival. He was like an answer to her prayers. I shall wear them every day, forever. I promise. They were hardly worth the fuss she made, but he was pleased that she liked them. And then she startled him, by giving him a book of poetry that had been her husband's. She gave him that and a warm muffler she'd bought for him in Deerfield. She had noticed that he didn't have one, and he was touched by both her gifts, particularly by the poetry. And there was still an inscription in it from her to Roland, dated Christmas, 1957. It seemed a long time ago, as he thought of it, but not nearly as long as the time when Sarah had lived, and then he thought about telling her what he had seen the night before, but he was almost afraid to. And as Gladys looked at him, over the tea she'd made for him, she sensed something.

Is everything all right? At the house, I mean? It was as though she knew, or expected him to see her. Her eyes were looking deep into his, and he was trying to look casual as he set his cup down, but his hands were shaking.

Everything's fine. It's cozy and warm, everything works, even the heating and the plumbing. I had lots of hot water this morning, he said, still thinking about the night before, but not saying anything as she eyed him sharply. And then she floored him with her next question.

You've seen her, haven't you? Her eyes were deep and sharp as she watched him, and he felt a gentle tremor.

Seen who? He looked vague, and helped himself to an oatmeal cookie while Glynnis watched him with envy, and he slipped her a little morsel. I haven't seen anyone, he said innocently, but Gladys knew instinctively he was lying, and she smiled and shook her finger at him.

Oh, yes, you have. I knew you would. But I didn't want to scare you. She's beautiful, isn't she? He was about to deny it again, but he couldn't as he looked at her. He valued their friendship too much, and he wanted to know so much more about Sarah.

You've seen her then? He looked awestruck, and it was actually a relief to be able to talk to her about it. It was like a dark secret between them, except that there had been nothing dark about Sarah. She was all air and light and springtime.

I've only seen her once, Gladys admitted to him, as she sat back in her chair with a wistful look. I was fourteen, and I've never forgotten it. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and she stood looking at me for the longest time, in the salon, and then she smiled and disappeared into the garden. I ran outside to look for her, and I never found her. I never told anyone either, except Jimmy, and I don't think he ever believed me. He just thought it was a ghost story, until Kathleen saw her in their bedroom. But it terrified her, and she wouldn't stay in the house again. It's odd how she appears to people there, as though she wants to welcome us to her home. The odd thing was that as young as I was when it happened to me, I was never frightened. All I wanted was to see her again, and I was devastated when I didn't. He knew exactly how she had felt, as he nodded. After the initial shock of seeing her, all he wanted was for her to return and appear to him again. He had waited for her until he fell asleep in his bedroom.

I thought it was a neighbor playing a prank on me. I was sure of it, and I went around the room rustling all the curtains. That's where she was when I last saw her. I even went out into the snow this morning and looked for someone's footprints, but there was nothing. And then I realized what had happened. I wasn't even going to tell you about it, and I probably wouldn't have if you hadn't pressed me. I don't believe in those things, he said soberly, but there was no other way to explain it.

I had a feeling she'd come to you, because you're so receptive to her, and so interested in her story. And to tell you the truth, I don't really believe in those things either. There are lots of stories around here about goblins and ghosts and people who practiced witchcraft. I've always been absolutely sure it was all nonsense ' but not Sarah ' somehow, I have the strongest feeling that she's different. She seemed so real to me when I saw her ' I still remember it as though it had been yesterday. She looked pensive as she said it.

She seemed real to me too, he said with a thoughtful look. I was so sure it was a real woman. I wasn't even frightened to see someone in my house, just annoyed that they would do a thing like that. I really thought it was a joke of some kind. I wish I'd understood who she was right from the beginning. And then he looked reproachfully at Gladys Palmer. You should have warned me. But she only laughed at him and shook her head, wearing the new pearl earrings she was so proud of.

Don't be silly. You'd have had me locked up, and been convinced that I was senile. Would you have warned me if the tables were turned? I don't think so. He smiled at what she said, and he knew it was true. If she had warned him, he would never have believed her.

I suppose you're right. What happens now? he asked with interest. Do you suppose she'll come back again? It wasn't likely if Gladys had only seen her once in seventy years, and he was sad to think that he would never have another chance to see her.

I have no idea. I don't know much about these tilings. I told you, I don't believe in them.

Neither do I. But he was aching to see her, and he didn't want to admit it even to Gladys. It made him wonder about himself that he was suddenly fascinated by the ghost of a woman who'd lived in the eighteenth century. It didn't say much about his love life. And for the rest of the afternoon, they talked about Sarah and Fraii-uois, and Gladys tried to remember everything she'd ever heard about them. And finally at four o'clock, Charlie left her and drove slowly back to the chateau, thinking of Sarah. And as he drove through town he thought about calling Carole, so he stopped at a pay phone. It seemed so odd to have spent an entire Christmas without her, and he had been thinking about calling her ever since that morning. He wasn't even sure where she was, but he thought it was worth a try calling Simon's number. He was almost certain she'd be there, unless they'd gone to the country for the weekend. It was nine o'clock at night for them, and even if they'd been out with friends, he was sure that they'd be home by then, as long as they had stayed in London over Christmas.

He stood next to the phone and thought about it for a long time, and then finally, he dialed the number. He was just about to decide that she wasn't there, when she answered on the fifth ring, and she sounded a little breathless, as though she'd run upstairs, or in from another room. It was Carole, but he stood in the snow on Christmas afternoon, freezing at the outside pay phone, and for just an instant he couldn't even answer.

Hello? she said again, wondering who it was. She could hear the far-off tinny sound of long-distance. Maybe because of the phone he'd used, they didn't seem to have a great connection.

Hi ' it's me. ' I just wanted to wish you merry Christmas, and ask you to come back, and if you're still in love with me' . He had to force himself not to tell her how much he missed her, and he suddenly knew that calling her had not been a great idea. Just hearing her again made him feel as though he'd been punched in the stomach. He hadn't spoken to her since he left London. How are you? He tried to sound nonchalant and failed abysmally, and even worse, he knew she could hear it.

I'm fine. How are you? How's New York? She sounded happy and alive and busy. And here he was chasing ghosts around New England. Just hearing her made him want his old life back.

New York is fine, I guess. There was a long pause, and then he decided to tell her. I left last week.

To ski? She sounded relieved, at least that sounded normal. At first she thought he sounded depressed and nervous.

Eventually. Actually, I took a six-month leave of absence.

You what? It was so unlike him, she couldn't believe it. What happened? Even though she had left him for someone else, she still worried about him.

It's a long story, but the office was a nightmare. They're cranking out designs from twenty years ago, and selling zillion-dollar clients tired, reworked old blueprints. I don't know how they've stayed in business this long. And their office is a snake pit. It's all about politics and turning your best friend in. I don't know how Europe got to be so different, or how we never noticed what they'd turned into. I just couldn't do it. And I was driving them crazy. I kept asking too many questions. I don't even know if I'll go back again. They told me to take six months off, and I figure that sometime in April I'll try and sort out what I'm doing. I just can't see myself putting up with that kind of bullshit.

Are you coming back to London? She sounded shocked at what he had said, and sad for him. She knew how much he loved the firm, and how loyal he had been. It must have been a real blow to him to leave them, even for a leave of absence.

I'm not sure yet. I have to figure out some things, like what to do with the rest of my life, for instance. I just rented a house in New England for a year. It's kind of a special deal. I might stay here for a while and then come back to London and look for an apartment.

Where are you? She sounded confused. She didn't understand what he was doing, but the trouble was, neither did Charlie.

I'm in Massachusetts, in a little town called Shelburne Falls, near Deerfield. She had only a vague notion of where that was. She had grown up on the West Coast, in San Francisco. It's really beautiful, and I met the most amazing woman here. He was talking about Gladys, not Sarah, and at her end, Carole looked enormously relieved. She had been waiting for this to happen. It would take a lot of the heat off of her, and change his attitude about both her and Simon. She was suddenly delighted he had called her.

Oh, Charlie, I'm so glad. I'm happy for you. You need that. We all do.

But he was smiling wistfully as he heard her. Yeah, I know. But don't get too worked up. She's seventy years old, she's my landlady. She owns the most beautiful little chateau. It was built in 1790 by a French count, for his mistress.

It sounds very exotic, she said, a little confused by what he was saying to her. She wondered if he was having a nervous breakdown. What was he doing renting a chateau in New England, and walking out on his job for six months? What in hell was he doing? Are you all right, Charlie? I mean ' really '

I think so. I'm not sure some of the time. And then at other times, I think I'm going to make it. I'll let you know what happens. And then he couldn't help himself. He had to know. There was always the slim chance that she had dumped Simon since Charlie had left London.