The Ghost (38 page)

But it was on the third page of his letter that Edward surprised her. He spoke of Haversham then, and said that he was startled she did not take him with her. He called his brother a spineless worm, and then referred rather mysteriously to his idiotic widow and four grieving daughters, which made no sense to Sarah until she read further. Apparently, Haversham had been killed in what Edward described as a hunting accident six months before, when the two brothers went shooting. But knowing how Edward detested him, and would have gone nowhere with his brother except under extreme duress, it was quite obvious to Sarah what had happened. Out of sheer boredom, or rage, or simple greed, Edward had killed him. And her heart sank as she read it.

He then assured her in the last paragraph that one of his bastards would inherit not only his entire fortune, but the title. And he wished her damned in hell for an eternity of agony and sorrow. And signed himself, Edward, Earl of Balfour, as though she didn't know him. But she knew him only too well, and the horrors he was capable of. She still hated him, and now particularly for what he had done to his brother.

Tour employer is a murderer, sir, Sarah said quietly as she handed the letter back to the lawyer.

I've never met him, he snapped at her, annoyed to have been dragged all the way to Shelburne. And as soon as he'd put the letter away, he took out another. I need you to sign this, he said, brandishing it at her, and she couldn't imagine what he was giving her now, but when she took it from him, she saw that it was a letter she was to sign, agreeing to renounce anything she could try to get from Edward, his lands, his title, any possible inheritance, whatever its source. He wanted her to agree to give everything up, and she didn't care at all for any of it, so it didn't matter to her. It also said that she would renounce the title of Countess from that day forward, which somehow amused her, as though she had been using it all over Deerfield.

I see no problem with this, she said, and went to the desk in the next room as quickly as she could. She took out her quill, dipped it in the ink in the well on her desk, and signed it. And after dropping a few grains of sand on it, she walked swiftly back to the kitchen and handed it to Mr. Johnston. I believe that concludes our business, she said, standing expectantly, waiting for him to leave, just as she saw a flash of movement and color fly by the window. She wasn't sure what it was, but it looked ominous somehow, and she grabbed quickly for her musket, as the lawyer jumped in terror.

Now, there's no need to ' not my fault, you know ' you must have done something to make him so angry ' He was pale with fright and she silenced him with a single gesture and listened. But at the same moment, Fran+oois burst into the kitchen and they both jumped. He looked absolutely terrifying in his winter Indian garb, with a bobcat head at each shoulder, and the skins down either arm. He wore a fur hat, and a bib of beads and bones that he'd been given in Ohio. He hadn't been wearing all that when he left, and she suddenly realized that he had put some of it on to terrify the stranger. The old Indian outside must have told him something of Johnston's mission, if he even knew it. Or perhaps Fran+oois guessed it from what the Nonotuck told him. But in either case, he was playing the part to the hilt, and motioned Sarah against the wall as though he didn't know her. And the lawyer from Boston was shaking violently and holding his hands up.

Shoot him, he said to Sarah violently, and she looked paralyzed. She was terrified she'd laugh suddenly and give the whole game up.

I'm afraid to, she whispered.

Out! Fran+oois grunted at him, pointing at the door, as though he were taking him somewhere. Out! He pointed so fiercely the man would not have argued. And grabbing his coat, he fled the room and ran out to his waiting guide and horses, but the old Nonotuck was grinning. He knew full well who Francois was, they all did, and like most of his tribe, he had a good sense of humor, and thought it was very funny. He had told Francois that he thought the man was up to no good. He had hardly given the Nonotuck any time for food or rest on their travels.

Go! Francois pointed at the horses, as the lawyer scrambled into the saddle. And with that, Francois reached for his bow, and an arrow.

For God's sake, don't you have a musket, man? Johnston said to the Nonotuck, but the old guide just looked helpless as he swung back onto his horse, and Sarah could see that he was laughing.

Can't shoot. Indian Brother, the Nonotuck explained, as Francois got astride his own horse then, and made him dance as though he were going to chase them. But with that, the lawyer gave his rented hack a ferocious kick, and shot out of the clearing, with the old Nonotuck laughing uncontrollably as he rode behind him, with Fran+oois pretending to pursue them. It was a full five minutes before Francois came back to her, and he was grinning broadly, but she scolded him when he dismounted.

That was very foolish of you. What if he'd had a gun? He would have shot you!

I'd have killed him, Fran+oois said bluntly. His guide said he came to do something bad to you, but he didn't know exactly what. I hope he didn't have the chance. He looked concerned. I'm sorry I didn't get home sooner.

It's just as well you didn't, she said with a smile, still somewhat amused at his performance. It had been very convincing. The poor fool is going to report a war party on the loose in Shelburne.

Good. Then maybe he'll stay in Boston. What did he want?

To strip me of my title, she said with a broad grin. I'm a commoner again, or reduced to my tide before my marriage. It's only Lady Sarah now, you'll be sadly disappointed.

But Francois only frowned at her and said, One day you'll be my Countess. Who was he?

A lawyer hired by Edward. He came with a letter from Edward threatening me and warning me there would be no inheritance, which I'd never have gotten anyway, so it really doesn't matter. The only thing that did matter was that he had killed his brother. And she told Fran+oois all about it.

What a bastard! he said with feeling. I don't like his knowing where you are now.

He will never come here, she assured him. He only wanted to humiliate me, and deprive me of something he thought I'd care about, but I never have ' and I suppose, she said wistfully, he thought I'd be heartbroken about Haversham. I'm sad for him, and poor foolish Alice and her children. But somehow it doesn't surprise me. I always feared Edward would do that. I think Haversham sensed it.

You're lucky he didn't kill you, Fran+oois said with feeling, and then smiled more gently as he looked at the woman he called his wife. I'm lucky he didn't kill you. He took her in his arms then, and held her. He hated her having any contact with Edward, and was sorry he hadn't been there when the man arrived from Boston. But she didn't seem overly troubled by it, only by her brother-in-law's death. That saddened her, and she thought it unforgivable of Edward.

They spent the next month peacefully, with no incident, and in February, although there was still snow on the ground, he took her to visit the Iroquois, and she thought it a remarkable experience. They took a number of things to trade, and Francois took several gifts to Red Jacket, and Sarah enjoyed meeting the women. She could see easily how Fran+oois had loved living with them. They had an honor and integrity that made a huge impression on her. They loved to laugh, and they told stories endlessly, and they were fascinated by her. And she loved their culture with their legends and their wisdom.

One of the wisewomen of the tribe spoke to her quietly one night, holding her hand in her own' Francois had been smoking the pipe with the men, and when he returned he knew that this woman was the sister of the powwaw, and she was a spiritual woman herself, but Sarah hadn't been able to understand her. And she asked Francois to translate, but when he listened to what she said, he seemed deeply concerned, and looked oddly at Sarah.

What did she say? It looked terrifying, from Francois's expression.

She said you are very worried ' very afraid ' he said quiedy. Is that true? He wondered if she was afraid of Edward. But there was little he could do to her now. And they both knew that Sarah would never return to England. She says that you have come from far, and left many sorrows behind you. It was certainly true and gave Sarah a shiver as she listened. She was wearing a deerskin skirt and leggings that had been given her by the Iroquois, and she was warm and comfortable in the long house, which they used in winter. Are you truly worried, my love? he asked gently, and she smiled as she shook her head, but the woman was wiser than he knew, as Sarah watched her. They were sitting near the fire, with no one else near them, and there was no one to listen, as the woman continued.

She says you will cross a river soon, a river you have always been afraid of ' in past lives you have drowned in it many times. But you will not the this time. You will cross the river safely. She says that you will understand her vision when you think about it, that you know what she is seeing. And then she stopped, and Francis looked disturbed as they walked outside for some air, and he asked her what the woman meant. She was a wisewoman, a prophet in the tribe, and he knew her. Her visions were rarely mistaken. What are you afraid of? Fran+oois asked her, as he pulled her close to him in her fur mantle. She looked like a beautiful Indian squaw, and they made a striking couple, but he sensed now that she had a secret from him, and he didn't like it.

I'm not afraid of anything, Sarah said unconvincingly, as he watched her. He knew she was lying.

You're hiding something from me, he said, standing closer to her, wanting to feel her warmth against him. And she did not answer. What is it, Sarah? Are you unhappy here? They were to go back in a few days. They had been there for weeks, and he had thought that she liked it. She seemed so happy.

I love it ' you know that '

Have I done something to upset you? Their life was certainly unusual. Perhaps she was longing for the other worlds she had known ' in England, or Boston. Though it didn't seem as though that was what she wanted, but it was something far greater that was worrying her, and had for a while now. And then he closed his arms tightly around her, locking her close to him as she smiled in pleasure. I will not let you go until you tell me. I will not let you keep secrets from me, Sarah.

I was going to tell you eventually, she began, as he waited, suddenly terrified that it would be something that would take them away from each other. He knew he couldn't bear that. What if she was leaving? But where would she go now? Something has happened, she went on, with sorrow in her voice. The powwaw's sister had been right then.

What is it, Sarah? His voice was barely more than a whisper. He was filled with terror.

I ' I don't know what to say to you, she said, with tears spilling from her eyes, as he watched, feeling great distress for her sorrow. I cannot ' I cannot ' She could not go on, and he didn't know what to do for her as he held her, and then finally, in a whisper of grief, she told him. I cannot bear you children, Francis ' you have no sons ' and you should have one ' but I cannot give you what you deserve ' She was sobbing in his arms, and he was deeply moved by what she was saying.

I don't care, my love ' you know I don't care ' it does not matter ' please, my darling ' no, you must not cry ' oh, how I love you ' my darling ' no, you mustn't ' But no matter what he said, she could not stop crying. It's not important

All my babies have died, she said as she clung to him, and he told her how sorry he was for the agony she'd been through, and then she stunned him completely, and I know this one will too ' she whispered, and suddenly he understood, and pulled her away from him so he could look at her in disbelief and terror.

Are you pregnant? he asked, almost breathless at the thought of it, and then she nodded. Oh my God ' my poor Sarah ' oh no ' it will not happen this time. I will not let it. He held her closer to him as tears filled his eyes, realizing what she must have been fearing. And then he remembered the words of the wisewoman who had had the vision. Do you remember what she said? That you will cross the river safely this time ' it will not happen again, my love, he whispered.

She said I would survive, Sarah reminded him,' but the baby? Why would this one live and no other? I cannot believe that this time will be different.

I will take care of you ' we will give you herbs, and you will be round and happy, and you will have a beautiful baby, he said, smiling at her, as she nestled next to him. Everything in your life is different now, Sarah. This is a new life for you ' for both of us ' and for our baby. And then he remembered to ask her, When will it be?

I think at the end of summer, she said softly, in September. She thought it must have happened the first time, because she had had the first signs of it by Christmas. It was almost three months now, but she hadn't had the courage to tell him. She had been carrying the worry for a long time. The woman with the vision had known that.

They walked slowly back into the long house then, with the others all around them, and he lay next to her, holding her, and when she slept, he looked down at her with his heart filled with love for her, and begged the gods to have mercy on her. And their baby.

Chapter 19

IT WAS LATE Monday afternoon, when Charlie put Sarah's journal down again. He needed to get dressed to take Francesca and Monique out for pizza. But he was filled with love and tenderness as he put the journal aside, and thought of the baby Sarah carried for Francis. As always, he wondered what had happened to it, but he didn't know yet. It was like a mystery in his life unfurling daily. It was so odd to think that it was so real to him, more real than the people he knew here. He was dying to tell Francesca about it.

And when he picked them up at six o'clock, he was still feeling pensive. Monique was in great spirits as usual. And Francesca seemed to be in a good mood too. She had said she had gotten a lot of work done on her thesis on Sunday.

It was an easy comfortable evening between the three of them, and Francesca invited him back to her place again after dinner, for ice cream and coffee, and he accepted with pleasure. And Monique was ecstatic to be with him. She seemed to crave a father-figure in her life, and being with her made Charlie think about children.