Authors: Lauren Smith
“This is Fenn,” he said.
A heavy sigh of relief came through the line. “Fenn…I’m Emery.” The voice was almost identical to his own, perhaps a little smoother, but almost exactly like his. What did he say to his long lost twin? Everything was confusing and each thought associated with Emery was riddled with pain.
“I’m sorry we haven’t talked before in the last couple of days. I was—” Emery began.
Fenn cut him off gently. “You were handling your girlfriend in the hospital. I heard about Sophie from Hayden. I hope she’s okay.”
Emery laughed softly and the warmth in that sound, achingly familiar, melted the protective ice encasing Fenn’s heart.
“Sophie is incredibly strong. She’s the one I have to thank for everything these last few days. She’s the one who found you. She gave me
hope
when I thought there was none.” His brother paused, as though catching his breath. “I can’t wait for you to meet her.”
Fenn’s throat closed, and he tried to breathe. That pain inside his head never seemed to fade anymore.
“Fenn…there’s so much I want to say, but none of it should be done over the phone. I just had to talk to you because…well…fuck, this sounds crazy.” He laughed again. “I swear that I dreamt of you on a ledge, after your accident. I called Wes and told him to find you and Hayden.”
Fenn stared at Hayden, thinking back to how he’d prayed and reached out in his mind and heart, begging the universe to let them be found.
“Sometimes, crazy makes a lot of sense,” he replied, laughing a little himself.
“You and Hayden are okay? No injuries?”
Rubbing a hand over his jaw, Fenn’s shoulders sagged in relief. It was as though Emery’s question had made him realize he and Hayden were fine. Until that moment, he’d felt like they were still on the ledge.
“We’re fine. A little scratched and bruised, but fine.”
Jim laid a hand on Fenn’s shoulder, a silent show of support.
“Good. Well, I’m sure you need to rest, but…” Emery hesitated. “I hope you’ll come home, even for just a few days. There’s so much…” His voice roughened into a scratchy whisper. “Please. I need to see you. Mom and Dad need to see you.”
Fenn’s chest was crushed by invisible boulders. “I need a few days here to take care of things before I can leave.”
“I understand. Be careful, though. I’m sure Wes has told you of the danger. The sooner you’re here, the better. I can protect you.” Emery’s voice was heavy with warning, urging Fenn to listen to him.
Fenn responded instinctively. “I’m older. That’s my job.” The words were barely out of his mouth before he realized what he’d said.
Rather than be upset, Emery scoffed. “You may not remember me, but in time you will remember how we used to argue about that. It’s my turn to protect you, brother. So let me.”
An unexpected smile curved Fenn’s lips and he shook his head a little.
“I’ll see you soon.” He made the promise to Emery, knowing that his
brother
would understand how much it meant.
I have a brother. A twin.
He finally allowed the truth to grow inside him. There were still so many questions, so many unexplained things he needed to know, but for now he needed to get comfortable with this. He hung up the phone and handed it back to Wes.
“Should I book the jet for Long Island?” Wes slid the phone back into his jeans and crossed his arms, watching Fenn.
“Not yet. I need a few days. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” He needed some time to process everything, let it sink in, and then he would fly to Long Island.
“Fair enough,” Wes said.
Things had changed between them, also for the better. After Wes had helped him off the ledge, he’d thanked Fenn for saving Hayden and embraced him. The touch, that single hug, as unexpected and awkward as it was in some ways, had filled him with fuzzy, vague memories of his childhood. Sometimes a man would change too much, and his childhood friends would no longer fit him, but now Fenn knew he and Wes would get along. That old friendship could be rekindled.
“Why don’t we go home? I’m sure everyone is exhausted,” Jim suggested.
“Sounds good,” Fenn agreed. “Someone else should drive, though. I have no desire to get behind a wheel tonight.”
“Jim, you can take Hayden and Fenn in my Jeep. I’ll drive your truck and take Callie,” Wes said and tossed his keys to Jim. Jim handed over his own keys and the group split up. Wes waited for Callie to follow him over to the old blue pickup truck. She kept looking over her shoulder, as though reluctant to leave them.
H
ayden stared at herself in the mirror in the small bathroom of the ranch house. Her bag of clothes sat on the bed, open and waiting, but she’d only retrieved her pajamas. Her hair was limp and semi-dry from the shower she’d taken a short while ago. Small cuts on her face and cheeks marred her usually clear skin.
Red patches stained her cheeks where she’d rubbed herself raw with a washcloth in order to remove the dirt. She shuddered as she remembered the almost frantic way she’d bathed in the shower. Hands shaking, teeth chattering, and eyes blurred with tears. She’d all but fallen apart and was thankful no one had heard her quiet sobs. She felt better now, though. After everything she’d been through…she was alive.
Hayden picked up her hairbrush and ran it through her long hair a few more times, teasing out the last few tangles. Without a dryer or straightener, her hair dried in gentle waves that were soft and a little wild. Normally she would have fussed to make herself look nice, but right now she didn’t care. She’d taken a couple of ibuprofen, but there wasn’t one part of her that didn’t feel bruised or battered.
After she buttoned up the last button on her baby blue, polka-dot pajama top and slipped on her matching boxer bottoms, she flicked the bathroom light off and went into the bedroom. Barefoot and a little cold, she stood listening to the sounds of the house and its inhabitants settling in for the night. One sound stuck out from the others: there were strains of music coming through the wall her bed was up against. Curious, she climbed on to the bed and pressed her ear to the wall.
The
click-click
of dog nails came through: Coda. She and Fenn must be in the room next door. What could he be doing? It was barely dawn. He needed to be resting, especially after their night, and his ankle wasn’t healed yet. Jim had mentioned that Fenn should sleep at the house after they’d returned. Hayden had been so tired she hadn’t paid much attention. She’d let Fenn direct her to the room Callie had prepared and she’d headed straight for a hot shower. He must have agreed to stay inside the house and left the trailer empty for the night.
I should check on him
. That would be just the polite thing to do. He had saved her life tonight, after all.
She left her room, then walked down the hall. The music was a little louder now as she paused outside his door. Hesitant, she raised her hand but didn’t knock right away. When she did, no one came to the door. She knocked a little louder but didn’t get a response. A sense of unease flickered through her and she tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. She pushed the door open and looked around.
The window on the opposite wall was open, and dawn was a faint washed-out shade of blue on the horizon. Fenn stood in front of the window, wearing only jeans. His hands were braced on the windowsill and he stood very still, his back to the door. The muscled grooves of his back were beautiful and Hayden couldn’t look away from him.
Coda sat by his feet facing toward the door, as though guarding her master’s back. Hayden stepped into the room, fully expecting Coda to growl in defense, but the husky shocked her by sliding down to rest on all fours. Her busy tail began to thump on the wood floor. The soft, rhythmic sound caught Fenn’s attention.
“What do you want, Callie?”
The name cut across Hayden’s heart. That was the second time he’d expected her to be Callie. Had she misread him? Did he have feelings for her? If he did…well, she wasn’t the type of woman who would fight for a man if he was in love with someone else.
“I’m sorry, I’ll just—” she began.
“Hayden?” He turned around to face her and the look of pleasure on his face was so obvious she sighed with relief. Maybe he did want her, but she was too afraid to hope that someone wanted her for a change. She bit her bottom lip, hesitating.
He took a slow step toward her as though expecting her to bolt.
“Stay. I thought…”
“I know.” She took another step into the room. “Is there…anything between you and Callie?” She inwardly patted herself on the back for being brave enough to ask. As she waited for his answer, she straightened her spine.
“No. There’s nothing between me and Callie. She’s like a little sister to me, but I know she wants there to be more.
I
don’t feel that way. She’s a sweet kid, a great one.” The finality in his face was clear. He and Callie were not anything, not anything that went above and beyond a sibling type of affection.
“I think she’s in love with you.” Hayden shut the door behind her and walked farther into the room.
He leaned back against the open window, and his perfectly shaped chest distracted her until he shrugged slightly and spoke.
“I know she thinks she is. Doesn’t change how I feel, though. She’ll meet someone else someday. She’s never left this town but someday she will, and she’ll find a man worthy of her.”
The gentle and firm way he said this, with so much belief and conviction, made Hayden relax. For all of Fenn’s defensive actions since she’d met him, this was a glimpse of his soul. He believed there were good people; he had faith. That was something she’d lost long ago.
“So to what do I owe the pleasure of this early morning visit?”
“I wanted to check on you. How are you?” She gestured to his ankle.
In response, he smiled and wiggled his bare foot.
“Hurts a little, but I took stuff for the pain.”
“Whiskey?” She raised a brow and let her disapproval show.
He pushed away from the window and walked toward her. Her gaze drifted down and her face heated. His jeans were unbuttoned, revealing a faint trail of dark gold hair below his navel that disappeared beneath his jeans. The V-shaped muscles of his pelvis flexed and her mouth ran dry. Was it bad that she wanted to lick that V shape? To trace it with lips and tongue and follow it down to all the secrets he hid beneath his pants?
God, I need to get laid. Six months is too long.
“No whiskey,” he murmured as he reached her.
She blinked and remembered what they’d been talking about.
“Really?”
“Tylenol,” he clarified with a smirk. “So did you really come in here to ask about my ankle?”
“Yes,” she replied, and darted her gaze away. On a small wooden desk in the corner that was covered with old paperback books, a black vinyl disc spun on an old record player.
The song on the record changed and Smoky Robinson’s voice filled the room. Fenn hummed the notes to
Tracks of My Tears
as he reached up and brushed the back of his hand over her cheek before he teased the collar of her pajama top with his fingers. Then he unbuttoned the top button of her shirt. Her hands moved up to grip his wrists, but she didn’t stop him. A little shiver wracked her body as she fought off the heated rush of anticipation. They were going to…and she wanted it so bad it hurt.
Hayden struggled to think rationally as her entire body hummed to life at his closeness, the way he was slowly unbuttoning the rest of her shirt.
“Your dad likes old records,” she said, hoping to distract not just him, but herself. She wanted him so badly her womb actually hurt—her own desire was frightening. The light cinnamon color of his eyes with those shards of green swept her away, and she was lost.
“Another thing in common, then.” He dipped his head to hers, nuzzling her but not quite kissing her. Somehow this prelude to a kiss was the most incredible turn on she’d ever experienced. Her clit pulsed to life at the thought of what a sweet reward his kiss actually would be.
His hands worked their way down her shirt until it was completely undone. Hayden couldn’t take her eyes off his face as he gripped the edges of her shirt and opened it slowly. Fenn’s stare slowly raked down her bare chest, and he bit his lip as though to hide a pleased smile.
She’d always been relatively okay with her body, but to see obvious approval and desire flash in his eyes made her want to squirm with delight. His fingers tightened a little more in the shirt fabric as he slowly peeled it off her shoulders. When she started to shrug out of the sleeves he leaned forward, his arms going around her body, and stilled her hands.
Without saying a word, he tugged the shirt off enough that her hands were stuck in the middle of her sleeves. Then he crossed her wrists behind her back and used the shirtsleeves to tie her hands together. Her breasts thrust out, fully exposed to him and the morning air. She blushed and dropped her gaze to the floor as her body responded. Her nipples pebbled, and tiny shivers rippled through her. He dragged a fingertip down from her collarbone through the valley of her breasts.
“I like seeing you restrained. Do you want to know why?” He tilted her head back so she was forced to meet his gaze.
“Why?” she asked, her question a small whisper. Did he like making her helpless? Did he like her weakened? She didn’t want to ever be helpless or weak.
Fenn cupped her breasts, gently molding them to his hands. Invisible flames licked along her skin, creating warm flushes that rolled through her.
“Because you trust me. You give me the power to ensure we both find pleasure. It shows me how brave you are. You are brave, Hayden. And sexy, so fucking sexy that I’ve been fantasizing about this since the moment I saw you running in the arena in that little red dress.”
His words, the things he said about her, made her knees knock together. He understood, truly understood her, why she was submissive. She didn’t want to be weak, but rather she wanted to trust someone enough to surrender her power temporarily.
“Do you want this? Want to give yourself to me?” he asked. “Because I won’t take what you don’t want to give. I need you to trust me.”
Hayden took a few seconds to weigh his words, but deep down she knew this choice had been made since the moment she had seen him in the arena after the accident. It seemed they had been fated to meet at that defining moment.
“I want this. I want you, Fenn. I trust you.”
I surrender.
She attempted to drop her eyes to the floor again, recalling all of her submissive training at the Gilded Cuff, but he tapped her underneath her chin.
“I like your eyes on me. You don’t ever have to look away. I prefer the eye contact.”
“You do? Most doms think it is a sign of rebellion or resistance,” she explained.
“I don’t know much about what the doms in your club want, but I want to see passion darken your eyes. Have I told you how much I love your eyes? So blue, pure and deep. Every time I look into them I feel reborn.” He licked his lips and then leaned in for a kiss.
A simple caress of lips soon turned hotter, harder. His hands moved from her shoulders down her back, gently shaping her shoulder blades and tapping soft little patterns down her spine. He seduced her slowly, surely, and it changed her from the inside out. Fenn didn’t need to whip her or gag her, not like other doms. She’d never judged those doms for what they needed to do; everyone had their own secret desires, but Fenn? He seemed to know hers. Restraint and trust.
When he slid his hands down her hips and moved one palm beneath the waistband of her little shorts, he cupped her mound, with his fingers applying just the right amount of pressure where she needed it most. Hayden rocked forward on her toes, trying to create the friction she needed. Fenn chuckled against her lips and moved his hand into her underwear. She jolted when he circled a fingertip over her sensitive bundle of nerves.
The sweet oldie music floated around them, and she gave in fully to the moment. He penetrated her with one finger, then added a second. She moaned in encouragement. When he curled his fingers inside her channel, her knees buckled at the sudden spike of pleasure inside her. Fenn curled an arm around her waist and held her upright so she wouldn’t collapse. She melted into him, swept away with longing, both of the body and the heart. He could do anything to her now and she would let him, so long as he continued to torture her with his slow seduction.
“Time for bed.” He pulled his hand from her shorts and, as she watched him, he licked the two fingers which had been inside her just seconds ago. The wicked smile on his face as he sucked his fingers completely felled her. She wavered and fell back unsteadily against the bed behind her. Fenn freed her hands from the makeshift binding of her shirt and tugged her shorts and underwear off, leaving her naked.
“Fuck, honey,” he growled, sweeping his eyes over her. His look was so hot it burned her skin.
“What about you?” She nodded at his jeans.
“Plenty of time for that. I want you limp and sated.” He urged her to lie back on the bed and then he retrieved his belt from where it lay on the floor in the corner by his shirt and boots.
“Wrists.” He held out one hand and she placed her hands in his. He wound the leather belt around her wrists several times before tucking the end of the strap under the rest of the belt.
“Now reach up and grasp the bars on the headboard. I don’t want you to let go, no matter what I do.”
Hayden curled her fingers around the wooden bars and drew in a shaky breath. “And if I let go?”
“I’ll redden that luscious ass of yours with this.” He touched another leather belt, the one she’d admired the day before. It was slung over the side of the desk chair, hanging there with a silent promise of pleasure/pain.
The very thought had her swallowing a gasp and fighting off a well of desire. He didn’t miss her reaction.
“If you want a spanking, all you have to do is ask.” He laughed and brushed a stray lock of her hair away from her face.
Ask? She wasn’t nearly brave enough for that yet.
Fenn climbed onto the bed and pressed at the insides of her knees, forcing them open. Then he sat back on his heels and stared at her for a long moment. Hayden held her breath, trying to read his expression.
“No turning back,” he warned her.
She shook her head, breasts rising and falling as she tried to relax. She’d been with other men; this shouldn’t rattle her, but it did. He wasn’t just any other guy. He was Fenn Lockwood, practically a legend for his tragic past and a veritable hero to her for saving her life.