The Gilded Fan (Choc Lit) (21 page)

She caught the others peeking at her whenever they thought she wasn’t aware of it. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable at first, but then she told herself it was perfectly natural for them all to be curious.
Just as I’m eager to learn more about them.

The pewter spoon she’d been given to eat with seemed large and unwieldy, especially in comparison with the dainty chopsticks she normally used. During a momentary lapse of concentration, she dropped the spoon on to the floor with a loud clatter, and ducked quickly under the table to retrieve it. She could feel her face flaming in embarrassment, but was even more flustered to find herself eye-to-eye with Nico.

‘Allow me to assist you,’ he said in a loud voice and put the spoon into her hand. ‘I must speak with you. Alone,’ he hissed.

‘I have nothing to say to you,’ she whispered back. To her consternation he didn’t immediately let go of her hand, but kept hold of it, spoon and all, for much longer than necessary.

‘Midori, please …’

‘No!’ She snatched it back and banged her head on the table in her haste to return to an upright position.

‘What’s amiss?’ Uncle Marston asked from his seat at the head of the table.

‘Midori dropped her spoon so naturally I had to help her retrieve it,’ Nico said blandly. His stepmother shot him a suspicious look, but Uncle Marston didn’t seem to notice.

‘Of course,’ he said and turned to Midori. ‘We all hope you will settle in here very soon, my dear.’

Midori bowed her head to hide her true feelings. ‘Thank you. I’m sure I shall.’

‘Speak later,’ Nico mouthed at her, but she shook her head surreptitiously. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet; she needed to think first.

‘Nicholas, a word if you please.’

Jacob ruined Nico’s plans to try and catch Midori on her own after the meal. The older man indicated they should go into the parlour, opposite the dining room, and Nico felt he had no choice but to follow. He swallowed a sigh of impatience.

Jacob shut the door, effectively excluding his sister, who’d been hovering behind them. That almost made Nico smile, as he caught his stepmother’s affronted glare. She obviously felt she had a right to be present, but Jacob had other ideas and Nico was glad to escape her barbed remarks and accusing looks. He’d forgotten how persistent she could be.

‘Please, won’t you take a seat?’ Jacob indicated two high-backed chairs with armrests next to the empty fireplace. Nico sat down without a word.

‘I understand that you feel you were treated harshly after the death of your father,’ Jacob began, ‘but at the time, I really did think it was for the best.’ He waited, as if to see whether Nico wanted to make any comment, but when he didn’t, the older man continued. ‘You can’t deny you were a … shall we say, somewhat difficult youth?’

‘No more so than any other.’ Nico remembered drinking to excess, gambling with what little money he had and learning about the delights of women, but it seemed to him most of his peers had been the same. It was a time of discovery.

‘I would disagree with that.’ Jacob frowned. ‘My sister frequently asked me to intervene after your father’s death, since she couldn’t make you see sense. You were running wild and you showed no inclination towards finding permanent employment.’

‘I was seventeen and hadn’t been taught a trade. I had to take what I could find.’ Nico bit his teeth together hard to stop from thinking too much about that difficult phase in his life. He’d felt completely lost. All his siblings and stepsiblings had been given the wherewithal to either start up in business, study or, in the case of the girls, marry. For him, there had been nothing.
And all because my father wanted to teach me a lesson.
He could at least have apprenticed me to someone to learn a trade, but even the small sum needed for that he begrudged me. Damn him!
Nico took a deep breath and said, ‘Perhaps I was a bit wild, but I could have done with a helping hand. I asked to work with you, but you refused.’

‘Because I wanted you to try and find employment by yourself, first. If you came up empty-handed, I would have offered you work, but I knew you would have felt more pride in something you’d managed by yourself. Working with me would have been like taking charity, and sooner or later you’d have resented it. I wasn’t going to let you starve, though.’

‘That’s not the impression I had at the time.’

‘Yes, well, you made me angry. You’d just asked me for a loan, and Kate and I felt that whatever money we may have given you would simply be squandered on gaming and … other things. You needed to be taught a lesson, but we didn’t mean for you to leave altogether.’

‘Other young men go to sea. It seemed the only option. And once there, I found I liked it.’
No need to go into all the suffering that came first
.

‘I understand. You could still have sent us word, once you had … er, matured a little, don’t you think?’

‘It seemed pointless and I was a different person.’ Nico shrugged. ‘Besides, I had no intention of ever coming back. I won’t be staying long now, either. I need to return to Amsterdam.’

‘Well, it would mean a lot to Kate and me if you would keep in touch from time to time. Can you let bygones be bygones? I apologise for any past misunderstandings between us.’

Nico considered the apology was thirteen years too late, but it sounded heartfelt and it seemed churlish to continue to hold a grudge now Jacob had explained his thinking. Besides, it no longer mattered and Jacob was right – it was all in the past. He nodded, then held out his hand to shake Jacob’s, trying his best to suppress the feelings of anger which had simmered inside him for so long.

Perhaps now he could bury the past once and for all.

‘What is that?’ Temperance, who’d just told Midori she was twelve, watched wide-eyed as the latter unpacked her belongings.

‘A fan. Don’t you have fans in England?’

‘Yes, but I’ve never seen one like that. It’s exquisite! May I hold it?’

‘Of course.’ Midori handed the girl her gilded fan, which was somewhat the worse for wear after much use during the long journey. Temperance opened and closed it with reverence and turned it round several times to inspect the pattern.

‘I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,’ the girl breathed.

‘Really? Doesn’t your mother have fans?’ It certainly seemed warm enough in England to warrant the use of one.

‘No, she doesn’t have any at all,’ Temperance confided. ‘No one in this house does.’

‘Well, you can have this one if you like,’ Midori offered. ‘I have another.’

‘I can? Truly?’ Midori nodded with a smile. ‘Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.’ Temperance held the fan to her chest with a look of pure delight on her face. Then suddenly her expression clouded over. ‘But Father probably won’t let me keep it.’

‘Why ever not? It’s only a small trinket.’ Midori was confused. What could be wrong with a fan?

‘I’m only supposed to own plain things, free from ornament. This is so colourful.’

Midori didn’t understand, but she knew one thing when she saw it, and that was happiness. The fan had made Temperance happy and therefore she should have it.

‘I’ll tell you what,’ she said, ‘how about if I keep it in my clothes chest, but it is still yours and then it can be our little secret? Or we can find some other hiding place for it, if you like?’ She’d been looking around and had already discovered that one of the planks that made up the window seat was loose and made a perfect place for concealing her hoard of silver coins and her two swords.

‘You mean it? You won’t tell a soul?’ Temperance’s eyes were huge with a combination of doubt and wonder.

‘Never. I swear it by your … the Bible.’ Midori thought it was probably the one thing that might convince the girl.

Temperance threw her arms around Midori and hugged her. ‘Thank you. I’m so glad you’ve come. I hope you stay forever.’

Midori laughed. ‘I’m not sure everyone else shares your feelings, but thank you for making me feel welcome. Actually, since you’re here anyway, could you answer a few questions for me, please? Everything is so new to me and I need to learn quickly.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll help you.’

Midori smiled. She felt as though she had acquired a younger sister which was something she’d always wanted. Perhaps staying in England wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Later that afternoon Midori went downstairs and found her two aunts in the parlour, busy with their sewing.

‘Come in, my dear.’ Aunt Marston was the first to spot her niece. ‘What have you there?’

Midori went up to the two women and gave them each a parcel. ‘It is just a small gift which I brought for you. I didn’t want to arrive empty-handed.’

‘Why, thank you. That’s very kind.’ Aunt Marston unwrapped the parcel and revealed the length of silk inside. Her eyes widened as she took in its sheen and lustre, but then she shook her head. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t accept this. It was a wonderful thought, really, but …’

Midori stared at the shimmering green material and wondered what was wrong with it. She had thought it would suit her aunt’s colouring to perfection and brighten up her pale complexion a little. ‘You don’t like green? Perhaps you could swap with Aunt Hesketh?’

Her other aunt didn’t say anything, but was staring at the sky-blue silk in her lap with a mixture of hatred and longing. She looked up, venom in her gaze yet again. ‘It’s not a question of colour. Or rather, it is, but not in the way you imagine.’

‘I’m sorry, I don’t understand.’ Midori looked to Aunt Marston for an explanation.

‘You see, my dear, we don’t wear such bright colours. We prefer unostentatious ones, like black or grey. And we don’t wear silk either, only wool.’

‘Not ever? Not even for celebrations?’ Somehow Midori had imagined the dreary clothes were worn only for the sake of everyday practicality. ‘But my mother told me about the betrothal party held for you, Aunt Hesketh, just before she left, and she described the dress you were wearing in detail. I was sure she told me it was a lovely rose pink.’

‘Enough!’ Aunt Hesketh half stood up and had to make a grab for the silk which started to slide off her lap.

Midori recoiled slightly at the vehemence in the woman’s tone and Aunt Marston made a calming motion with her hand in her sister-in-law’s direction.

‘Easy, Kate, easy. Our niece can’t be blamed for not knowing these things. After all, over thirty years have passed.’ She looked at Midori. ‘You see, that was a long time ago and we no longer adhere to the same rules. Now we follow the Bible closely, and it warns us specifically against vanity in our apparel. Surely you can see that something as beautiful as this would be very vain indeed?’

‘I …’ Midori didn’t see that at all. She understood even less why it was necessary to wear sober, boring clothing in order to believe in something, but she didn’t know how to argue her case.

Aunt Marston stood up and came over to take her niece’s hands between her own. ‘Please believe that we appreciate this gesture most sincerely. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts, but unfortunately we can’t accept. Don’t be offended, I beg of you.’

‘No, no I’m not offended.’ Midori thought swiftly and hit on an idea. ‘If you can’t wear this, however, would it be possible for you to sell it?’

‘I suppose so. Why?’

‘Well, perhaps you could use the money for some better purpose. I just wanted to give you something. It’s the custom in my father’s country.’

‘An excellent idea. I shall ask your uncle’s advice. Thank you again.’

Aunt Hesketh remained silent and when Midori closed the door on her way out of the parlour she saw her aunt fingering the silk before heaving a large sigh.

‘Cap’n Noordholt, I hadn’t looked to see you so soon again. Do come in, if you please.’

Harding ushered Nico into the tiny house which seemed very shabby in comparison to Jacob’s, but still felt much more welcoming. It consisted of only two rooms, as far as Nico could see, but somehow it managed not to appear too cluttered.

‘My daughter’s out just at the moment, but I’m sure I can find us some victuals if you’d like?’ Harding offered.

‘No, thank you, I’ve eaten. I just came because I wanted to discuss a few things with you. Am I disturbing anything?’

‘Not at all, I’m a man of leisure ’til the next time I sign on for a journey. Though truth to tell, I’m thinkin’ of goin’ into business instead. A friend of mine’s offered me a half-share in his chandlery, an’ I feel I’m gettin’ too old for gallivantin’ around. I’ve managed to save enough, so …’

‘Sounds sensible.’ Nico nodded.

‘And what about yourself, sir? Off back to Amsterdam, are you?’

‘Not just yet. That’s what I wanted to speak to you about. It’s Mistress Midori, you see. I need to get her away from here. In fact, I should never have brought her.’ He told Harding about what he’d overheard at the inn. ‘I can’t make head or tail of all the rumours flying around, but it could be dangerous.’ Nico had tried his best to find out, but no one seemed to know for sure.

‘I hear tell it’s definitely happenin’,’ Harding said. ‘More’s the pity. I’m too old for fightin’, but I may not have a choice.’

‘You really think it’ll come to that, here in Devon, too?’

‘Aye, I reckon we’ll all have to take sides sooner or later. The problem’s not goin’ to go away this time.’

Nico clenched his jaw. ‘That’s bad news. It makes it even more imperative for me to get Midori away.’

‘I would,’ Harding agreed. ‘Not the place for a lady such as her.’

‘I know.’ Nico sighed. ‘She’s stubborn though, and … well, I sort of deceived her a little, so she’s angry with me now and may not listen.’ He reluctantly told Harding about the kinship between him and Midori.

Harding whistled softly. ‘Well, I never. Stepcousins, eh? Who’d have thought.’

‘Yes, an amazing coincidence, but still, it happened. The point is, if she won’t agree to go with me, can I rely on you to look out for her? Should she need it, that is.’

‘Of course. Don’t you fret, I’ll do my best.’

‘Thank you, Harding. I’ll let you know how I get on. First, I need to find a way of waylaying her so I can speak to her alone.’

How, he had no idea.

‘I would like a word with you, Midori, if you please? In private.’

Uncle Marston’s voice was pleasant enough as he ushered her into his small study, and the request perfectly reasonable. But Midori still had the feeling she wasn’t going to enjoy the ensuing conversation. A week had passed since her arrival in the Marston household, and she knew she’d been under constant scrutiny. It would seem the time had come for the verdict.

‘Do take a seat.’

Midori sat down on the high-backed chair opposite her uncle’s, folding her hands in her lap and assuming a calm expression. She tried not to fidget, but it was almost impossible, since the woollen bodice and petticoat were making her skin itch unbearably, despite the linen shift underneath. She wondered how long it would take before her skin became used to the scratchy material. Her aunt said she wasn’t allowed to wear silk, so her Amsterdam purchases had been swapped for various lengths of wool and linen.

There was a long pause as her uncle searched for the right words. He steepled his fingers together, holding the tips against the underside of his chin. For a while he focused on some point beyond her left shoulder, before fixing her with his calm gaze.

‘My dear, I’ve been observing you for a few days and I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but it appears to me you don’t quite know how to go on.’

‘Oh? In what way, Uncle? I have tried my best to follow my aunts’ instructions. I’m learning to make bread, to sew clothes and even to spin wool, although I’m afraid it will take me a while to master that.’ Midori knew he wasn’t talking about her domestic skills, which probably didn’t interest him, but she felt it was better to pretend ignorance. He cut her short.

‘Yes, yes, I’m sure you’re making excellent progress with such things, and very commendable it is, too. I was rather thinking of your devotions. As you are under my guidance, I would like, if I may, to offer you some instruction in matters of faith.’

Midori couldn’t say his offer was entirely unexpected. Although she’d tried her best to join in the daily prayers and hymn singing, the theological discussions had been beyond her and she often found her mind drifting. Obviously, her uncle had noticed, despite the fact that she’d tried her best to hide her inattention.

‘It’s very kind of you, but … would you be very upset if I decline? Captain … er, Nicholas and I had some theological discussions during our journey, but I don’t yet feel ready to embrace Christianity fully. I’m sorry.’ She hung her head, wondering if he would explode with rage and banish her from the house forever. She had thought for a while that she could adapt to a new faith, but when it came down to it, she found it impossible.
I have to be true to myself!

‘I understand. It must be vastly different to the beliefs you’ve grown up with?’

Midori looked up. ‘Indeed, yes. And I would feel as though I’m betraying my father. It’s … this is difficult for me.’

‘Of course, I realise that,’ her uncle said in a milder tone of voice. ‘Would you like to learn more or are you completely set against it? I’d like the opportunity to change your mind, if at all possible, but I don’t want to force you in any way.’

Midori was very relieved to hear that. ‘I would be happy to listen to you, Uncle,’ she said. After all, what harm could it do?

‘Excellent.’ He smiled at her.

‘Thank you for being so understanding and for allowing me to stay here with you. I didn’t know where else to go and Mother said—’

‘You did the right thing. No matter what, we are your family and we’re very glad to have you. Think no more about it. Now, why don’t you tell me what you and Nicholas talked about, then we can continue from there?’

‘He made me read passages from the Bible and then he explained them to me.’

‘Did he really?’ Uncle Marston looked astonished. ‘Well, I never! So his father didn’t entirely waste his breath on him then …’ He shook his head. ‘Anyway, our Bible is in the parlour and you may read it there as often as you wish. It is kept in a box and I trust you will handle it with care.’

‘Yes, of course. Will you tell me which passages to read, please?’

He nodded. ‘I’ll try to choose suitable ones for you. I’d like you to learn first about the various sins and temptations that are set before us daily. The world is an immoral place, and whatever your beliefs, I must insist you follow mine and your aunts’ moral guidance, agreed? There are certain things unmarried young women simply mustn’t do. This is not just to do with Christianity, but the code of conduct of English society as a whole, you understand?’

‘I promise I’ll try my best.’

He continued on in this vein for a while, and Midori listened dutifully. Uncle Marston had treated her with nothing but kindness so far and it wasn’t his fault they were miles apart culturally. She was determined to do her best to please him.

‘Now don’t forget, you may come to me at any time with any problems or questions you may have.’

‘Thank you, Uncle.’

Just before leaving the room, she remembered something. ‘Uncle Marston, there is something which has been puzzling me all week.’

‘Oh, yes?’

‘Did Aunt Hesketh marry the man originally intended for my mother, the one she left England to escape from? I was told my aunt was betrothed to another at that time.’

Her uncle’s expression turned guarded. ‘She did marry Ezekiel Hesketh, yes. She and her former fiancé found they weren’t suited to each other and the arrangement came to an end. It’s not a subject we normally discuss and it is all in the past.’

‘I see. Well, thank you. You’ve been very kind.’

Midori fled before she could make any more
faux pas
.