The Girl in the Mirror (Sand & Fog #3) (19 page)

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I assure her.

She smiles and leaves the room. I stay rooted in place, following her with my gaze through the wall of glass until she’s swallowed up by her friends.

I go out the front door into a courtyard of fountains and potted greenery toward the walk-in gate. Brayden is sitting on a stool, smoking, as he talks to another Black Star employee I haven’t met before.

Brayden spots me, frowns, and then says to the guy with him, “Why don’t you go walk the perimeter? Make sure everything is still good. You haven’t done that in a while.”

I wait until we’re alone. “Thanks, Bray. Who is that?”

Brayden shrugs. “No one you need to worry about. Everyone here except me is just a floater to fill in when Jared’s short of guys for the schedule. No one is here from the team who works for Alan.”

I nod.

Well, that’s something.

One less thing to worry about.

“What are you doing, Jake?”

Good question.

Brayden frowns at me and then sharply rebukes me with his eyes. “I saw you with Krystal in the driveway. Then you went right past me like you had a right to be here and weren’t an employee. But come Monday, Jake, you’re an employee. That girl, whatever happens the next two days, walks away from you when the weekend’s over. You’re in denial if you think this goes any other way.”

I wish that were true and I could still feel like I did before the party and that film. No, I’m not in denial about anything.

“I’ve got it all under control, Brayden. No one knows better than I do what happens after this weekend.”

The look on his face grows grimmer. “You and Krystal—never going to happen, Jake.”

“I know that.”

“Then wake up before you ruin your life.”

“It’s not like that, Bray. I’m doing her a favor. That’s all. Can you let it go?”

His eyes lock on me, openly speculating. “Looks to me more like you’re trying to do yourself a favor. What do you think is going to happen back in Pacific Palisades on Tuesday when she finds out everything?”

Not answering that one, Brayden.

I don’t know what happens.

I only know what I
want
to have happen.

Instead of going inside to the party, I cut around the side of the house and head for the beach.

“Krystal”

By 3:00 a.m., I’m feeling like a fool. The guests have cleared out and Jacob’s still a no-show on the patio. Oh, I’ve laughed, I’ve danced, and smiled with my friends. Wasn’t about to let him ruin this awesome party Maddy put together. But that doesn’t change anything.

I feel like a fool.

As I lie on a lounger, scrunched between Nick and Madison, my gaze strays to the beach. Stupid. Jacob disappeared from the sand hours ago. Wherever he’s taken off to doesn’t matter. It’s not anywhere near me. Pretty clear confirmation I misread the driveway scene.

Halfway through the night I concluded that kissing me had been another Jacob decoy, like Sierra over lunch, and only about getting me into the party. And to add insult to injury, he avoided me the rest of the night to make that clear.

It’s stupid to feel so butt-hurt. When did I become this pitiful over guys? I read that one wrong. But then I’d felt drunk in his arms and butterflies in my stomach, and he smiled that cute, shy smile, and like a fool I’d thought it meant something.

I rub my eyes, glad not to find tears there because if I cry over him—a guy I’m not even involved with yet—I will lose my last shreds of self-respect.

Pushing against the cushion to sit up, I look over at Maddy. “I’m going to bed. Thank you for the party. I’m blown away you did this.”

Madison smiles, drowsy and happy. “It was pretty amazing, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, definitely.”

I kiss her on the cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you.”

As I scramble off the chaise, they collapse into each other, obliterating the space where my body used to be. “Behave yourselves, you two.”

Madison stretches and yawns. “Don’t go off on Jacob, OK? He probably felt awkward, all your friends and everything.”

It isn’t worth pointing out that I have no intention of going off on Jacob or even thinking of him ever again.

“Cleaners come in the morning,” Madison calls out as I cross the patio. “Figure out what you guys want to do while they’re here.”

Madison thought of everything, even how to make the house perfect again. I shouldn’t have panicked in the driveway when I saw the party. And if I hadn’t panicked, Jacob wouldn’t have kissed me and I wouldn’t be feeling like an idiot.

Time to figure out how to keep my big girl panties on 24/7. Not sweat the little things anymore like unexpected parties hitting me out of nowhere and unexpected guys stumbling into my life as well.

Jeez, in three days I’ll be living in New York, and Jacob will be in the rearview mirror permanently. If anything had happened between us, it wouldn’t amount to anything anyway. This isn’t even a
what could have been
moment since what could have been has always been nothing. In fact, I should be glad that I didn’t start anything with him.

Feeling emotionally in control again, I open my bedroom door and my eyes go wide.

Jacob is sitting on the floor, hunched over—
a yellow note pad?
—running his fingers through his hair, staring intently at the paper as though whatever is there is something mind-boggling.

He’s changed into loose gym clothes, like guys wear to bed when they decide not to sleep in the buff. His man bun is gone, and he looks slightly overwhelmed and—crap—really adorable.

I close the door behind me and he startles.

We stare at each other wordlessly for a moment and those hazel orbs make my pulse jump yet again, which is pathetic because he gave me a slap in the face by ditching me, but maybe it’s because of how his expression has changed. Nervous, like I’ve caught him at something he didn’t want me to see. Happy, like he’s glad I’m here. Tense, like he doesn’t know what he should do.

I lean back against the door.

“Do you want to tell me what you’re doing in my room?”

“No, not really.” Jacob flips the pages over on the pad as if to hide whatever is there. “I’ve been sitting here thinking.”

OK, sitting in my bedroom thinking.

After ditching me at a party.

Frustrating.

Jerk-guy move, not jerk-guy staring at me.

I exhale slowly, trying to decide if it’s even worth the effort to try to figure this one out or if I should tell him to leave.

“You think with a pen and paper—” He starts to talk and I lift my hand as a stop sign. “And you do this during parties after kissing girls then blowing them off?”

He flushes, shrugging. “Sometimes. It helps me organize my thoughts.”

“It’s a shame it doesn’t help organize your mouth. Or do you just get off stringing girls along?”

The color on his face darkens. “I can see how you’d think that.”

Ya think?

I start moving toward my bathroom. “Go away, Jacob. I’m tired and I don’t want to deal with you.”

He shakes his head, raking his fingers through his hair, agitated. “I knew it was a mistake to wait for you.”

I freeze in midstep and whirl to face him. “Oh. That one you could figure out. But that it was kind of not nice to ditch me at a party—that one went over your head.”

Jacob’s eyes drill into me. “I didn’t ditch you. I came in here to figure out if I should stay. What the right move is.”

He catches me off guard with that, and there are tears stinging my eyes. I shake my head. I’m not looking at Jacob anymore. “What’d you decide?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

His voice causes me to glance at him and, crap, the butterflies come back. He looks vulnerable and unsure and…like a nice guy caught in something he didn’t expect.

Strange, but that’s how he looks.

I sink down on the floor to sit on my knees facing him. “So you skipped out on me tonight so you could hide in here to figure out what to do about me, and writing it down helped you?”

He laughs, embarrassed. “Dumb, huh?”

Original, I’ll give him that.

I crinkle my nose. “Maybe a better word is weird. A little weird. What did you and your trusty notepad decide to do about me?”

He chuckles, less nervous. “
We
didn’t agree on anything. There’s nothing on the pros list”—he flips through pages, flashes it quickly in front of me, then takes it from view—“but I ignored that and stayed anyway.”

I smile—how can I not?

He leans over to shove the notepad into his bag and I stop him. “Let me see that.”

He struggles to keep it from my hand. “No way.” Each time I reach he becomes more flustered and I’m more curious. “That’s private.”

I continue to try to take it from him. “It’s about me. You wouldn’t have shown it to me if you didn’t want me to see—”

My fingers lock and I jerk it away as Jacob collapses back on carpet, groaning.

My eyes widen, surprised.

It is a pros and cons list…
without pros
. Zero. Nada. Nil. Blank column. But the other side, an endless list.

Con—
I work for Alan.

Con—
I need my job.

Con—my brows lower
—I like Krystal.

I peek up at him. “How is liking me a con?”

He looks grossly uncomfortable, lying on his back staring at the ceiling. “Trust me, it is.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted.” I pout.

Jacob turns on his side and props his cheek in his palm. “It should be a compliment to you. The list said go and I stayed. That should tell you how I feel about you.”

My heartbeat ticks up and I hold the pad against my chest. “Yes, you did stay, Jacob. Now what are you going to do with me?”

“Damned if I know.”

He looks like he’s in agony.

He looks very sexy.

He’s a nice guy, no denying that.

My gaze strays to the pad.

Jeez, Louise, what kind of guy hides from a party and a girl to do this? I bite back a laugh, though why discovering he considers “liking me” a relationship negative makes me want to laugh is anyone’s guess.

Except I’m starting to think Maddy’s right. He’s sensitive and the kind of guy who’s easy to break.

“Do you want me to go?” His voice is breathy, but his eyes are locked on mine, tender and uncertain. “I can’t think of a reason you’d want me to stay after how much of a jerk I’ve been tonight.”

A reason?

A jerk?

I pretend to nod, then shake my head. “This has got to be about the sweetest moment I’ve ever had with a guy.”

His lids flare wide. “I don’t want to complicate things for either of us.” Slowly, he lifts his hand to touch my cheek.

I swallow once as I start easing into him. “Me either…” My mouth closes over his, trapping my words.

I moan into his mouth, parting my lips as his tongue invades me, kissing me yet again as I’ve never been kissed. Passionate and gentle. Immediate and hesitant. Hungry but slow.

He closes his arms around me and lowers me to the floor, and the feel of his body joins the disorienting sensations running my flesh. Between kisses and teasing rubs of his erection against my sex, he undresses himself and then me, without his lips or hands ever losing contact with my pleasure centers.

My arousal ticks upward as his mouth roams lower, from my jaw to my neck, to my breasts. His fingers trace my navel, my hips and my mound, teasing my bud before gliding into me as he takes a nipple and sucks deliciously.

He moves his index finger in and out of me and teases my clit with his thumb as the tantalizing claiming of my breast becomes more insistent.

My back arches and my body tightens in record speed. I’m coming alive with a quickness I’ve never experienced. My breathing matches his own ragged inhales betraying his arousal, and I’m nearly there, my head swaying on the floor, and we haven’t even started.

“Oh God.” He groans into my mouth, his erection pushing against me. “I’ve been thinking about this since the first day I met you. If we don’t slow down…”

“If we don’t speed up…” My words catch as his finger teases my hot spot, leaving me ragged and close to climaxing.

His mouth lifts from mine and I open my eyes to see him tear at a foil square with his teeth.

I’m pulsing and close to the edge and he’s not in me yet. I pant in and out, trying to quiet my body as I watch him roll the condom down his length.

I realize we’re still on the floor, and then he’s in me, searching and deep, pumping and filling.

Oh fuck. I’m not sure if it’s him or the buildup of being with him without contact, but my senses explode at first thrust.

My legs start to quake and I rise up to meet the rapid flexing of his hips. I come hard and fast, holding on to him with the wrap my arms and legs as I tumble over the edge.

The surface of his flesh is claimed by trembling as he moves faster and faster. He lifts up, taking my hips from the ground, going deeply then he lowers his body back into me.

Another hard thrust.

His face presses against mine as he pours himself into me. Slowly we quiet into a tangle of sex-glistening, drained body parts. He stills on top of me, his face in my hair, randomly kissing.

My fingers wander his back. I’m surprised by laughter bubbling upward from my chest. I can’t stop it and I don’t know why I find this funny.

Maybe it’s because I feel drunk because of him and butterflies again.

Jacob lifts his face, alarmed. “What?”

I pucker my lips to stop it. Not helping. My laughter intensifies. Those gorgeous hazel eyes search my face. “We’re alone in a house that has everything,” I choke out, “and you, Jacob, make love to me for the first time on the floor.”

I feel his body shimmy against me, and he covers my mouth with his, swallowing our humor. Before I can say anything else, he’s carrying me toward the bed.

I pull myself from sleep because my phone won’t stop buzzing and open my eyes to Jacob’s face inches from mine. His hair is mussed, his features lax with sleep—a happy expression though it’s probably vain of me to think that because he doesn’t really have an expression at all since he’s asleep—and one muscled arm is draped over my hip.