The Girl of Diamonds and Rust (The Half Shell Series Book 3) (12 page)

There is also quite a bit of press. More than I care for.

I take a sip of my drink. Ernie threw a nice publicity party for the guys, but it doesn’t make me like him any better. He’s just another opportunistic music industry insider, signing up bands, looting the creative talent in Seattle, hoping to strike a big payday with another Nirvana or Pearl Jam. He doesn’t know what the fuck the guys are about or how to manage them. No wonder it’s taking the band so long to break.

My gaze shifts to Terry Moore. Ernie should have pressed the label for a better record producer than Terry. I could produce Neil and the band better.

I hear knuckles rapping against the wood bar behind me. I turn to look over my shoulder.

“Do you want another drink, Miss?”

I set down my glass. “Chardonnay.”

I turn back around and my eyes fix on Neil. The band—Neil, Josh, Les Wilson, Nate Kassel, and Pat Larsen—are clustered together on sofas, the guys bizarrely looking exactly like they do killing time in the apartment. Only here they are surrounded by girls. Fawning, wooing girls, more than overtly making advances on the guys. Pat Larsen’s girlfriend is furious and hovering over him, sitting on the arm of the couch, looking like she’s going to kick in the face of the next girl who comes near him. The guys have been kissed, touched, pulled and propositioned more tonight that I’ve ever seen before. I quietly slipped out of the circle surrounding them after the first twenty minutes here.

I smile, though this probably shouldn’t make me smile. Neil just looks so grossly uncomfortable being the center of the universe, surrounded and pulled on. It’s so cute how frequently he looks at me to make sure he’s not in trouble.

My gaze softens as it meets Neil’s. I feel the smile in his eyes in my center. He looks miserable. I know he wants me over there with him. I know he’s worried that this is pissing me off, but I am not pissed. I just needed a breather from the damn thing.

Come here
, Neil mouths.

I shake my head.

Not a chance
, I mouth in his direction.

He gives me an exasperated look.

I toss him a pout.

Laughing, I turn back to the bar and grab my wine. I feel a light tap on my shoulder and look up to find that gross guy who has been staring at me all night, now next to me.

He leans forward. “Hi.”

I smile stiffly in a perfect
rich-girl-not-interested
Rene kind of way and shift my gaze back to Neil. In a moment, the guy wanders off and I’m relieved, though I do feel badly over my rudeness. I’ve never felt comfortable with guys hitting on me. It’s better to simply make them disappear quickly.

I down a hefty swallow of my wine. Crap, it’s got to be after 2 a.m. When are things going to start shutting down here? We leave early in the morning on the road. A little alone time with Neil would be a really good thing since we’re going to be trapped the majority of the time in a tour bus with the rest of the guys.

I toss down the remainder of my wine and set down the glass on the bar.
Maybe I’ll just leave. I really want to get out of here…

“How does it feel to know everyone here wants to fuck him?”

Everyone here
. Oh the wording, it could only belong to one person in Seattle. The surface of my skin begins to crawl. What the hell is he doing here? I turn and come face-to-face with Andy Despensa.
Shit.

“I’m sure every girl here wants him. Neil is an incredible guy.” I manage to say that in a way that conveys without saying it that Andy
isn’t
an incredible guy.

His eyes bore into me. “He is an incredible guy. But you know that firsthand. Don’t you?”

Something about his voice makes me want to vomit. His eyes shift to Neil. Fuck, what an asshole. I can’t believe they used to be friends. Why would Neil hang around with a jerkoff like Andy Despensa? Even if they did grow up together in Santa Barbara, he would have made my list of
people in my life to lose quickly.

“You stay away from me,” I hiss. “There is nothing you could ever say that I would ever want to hear.”

Andy arches a brow. “Are you sure about that, Chrissie? I think we should have a long talk someday.”

It feels as though I’ve just been taunted and threatened at once. My cheeks redden against my will.

“Fuck you,” I snap, and I move quickly from the bar and away from Andy.

As I make my way around the dance floor to Neil, I’m fuming inside and, oddly, somewhat internally messy simultaneously. God, what a weird reaction to being in close proximity to a
jerk
.

Maybe it’s just knowing Andy’s history with Neil. But Andy Despensa had a way of automatically stirring a reaction in me before I knew anything about him. Even that first night in ’89, before Neil and I were a couple, when Andy had done nothing but watch us dance together at Peppers, I’d felt it this way, all at once, out of nowhere. Prickly skin. Shuddering emotions. A flashing, instinctive reaction in me.

I’ve never instantly disliked anyone the way I instantly disliked Andy.

I push my way through the circle surrounding the guys, and sit on the arm of the sofa, planting my feet on Neil’s thigh. His fingers close around my feet and he smiles up at me.

The smile fades from his face. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head and before I can stop myself, I say, “Andy is over there. Who the hell let him into the party?”

Neil’s eyes flash, alarmed. “Did he talk to you? Was he bugging you, Chrissie?”

Neil is halfway off the sofa before I realize what a stupid mistake it was to tell him about Andy. I spring to my feet and grab his arm.

“He’s not bugging me. I just didn’t want to be on the other side of the room with him.”

“You’re not lying to me are you, Chrissie? Because if he fucking did anything to upset you—”

“He didn’t do anything,” I interrupt quickly.

I stare up at him, then finally Neil starts to relax. I move into his body and kiss him on the jaw.

“Can we get out of here?” I whisper.

Neil brushes my lower lip with his thumb. “We can get out of here.” In a low, husky voice he adds, “I am really ready to get out of here with you, Chrissie.”

His mouth covers mine, and before I realize what he is doing, my body is eased up from the ground until my legs are wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck. Neil is kissing me, deep, long and with full tongue, in a very
non-Neil
way.

At the exit the kiss breaks, and I look back over Neil’s shoulder to find Andy Despensa staring at me. My insides go cold again. I didn’t see it before this moment, but I suddenly know that I dislike Andy because
he
hates
me
.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Neil flattens me against the apartment door, his lower body grinding into me, his mouth punishing against mine. He’s been on fire since we left the club, charged with restless adrenaline, and the urgency of his flesh has me boiling from head to toe. He’s not usually like this…I feel him push his cock deeper into me…and I mold into him, moving my body
there
as I struggle to match the heated thrust of his tongue and the force of his kisses.

His mouth lifts, and his panting breath, face close to mine, drowns out my own rapid inhales and exhales. He continues to rub his cock into me as he rummages in his pocket for the apartment key.

“You have no idea how much tonight I’ve been thinking about fucking you,” he whispers against my skin. His hand moves up my bare thigh, under my sundress, and his fingers start teasing me through my panties. “I love the fucking sundresses. I makes it so damn easy to fuck you wherever we are.” His tongue flicks along my shoulder blade. “I stared at you all night, thinking I should take you in the bathroom and fuck you there.”

He bites my neck and I arch upward into him. Whatever this is I feel in him, it is a freaking turn-on. Maybe he’s just hot after hours of having tits shoved in his face and women kissing and brushing up against him everywhere. Maybe he’s just hot over me. Jeez, who cares what this is? He is going to be
crazy Neil
in bed tonight and I am totally into
crazy Neil
in bed.

I wait breathy and excited as he fumblingly tries to unlock the door, and I stare up at his face, the tautness of his skin across his features. Then my brows pucker. I’ve seen him look this way before.

For some reason the image Neil makes reminds me of that night we shared in the hotel after he exploded over me speaking with Andy Despensa. Strange, but that night four years ago was exactly like this. Caveman Neil dragging me from the party. Rough, brutal, emotionally void sex. An odd, angry impatience to fuck me and a bludgeoning need to do it. Raging Neil and an endless night of hard fucking.

His mouth comes back to mine just as the door gives way behind me. We stumble through and my feet leave me, and only Neil’s quick hands save me. He scoops me up into him, my legs encircle his body, his fingers dig into my backside beneath my dress, and we continue to frantically consume each other’s flesh as he starts moving us toward the bedroom.

“Oh fuck,” he groans.

My eyes fly open. All motion has stopped, and Neil is frozen in place, staring at something in the living room. Struggling to catch my breath, I peek over my shoulder and my limbs go as tense as Neil’s are.

Oh shit! Jack!

He sets me quickly down on my feet. I jerk my clothing into place and turn.

“Hello,” Jack says in a way that makes my cheeks burn.

“Daddy, what are you doing here?” I ask and my dad’s gaze sharpens.

Crap, that came out lame, but I’m still in shock over finding my dad
here
and it is not even worth trying to figure out how he got into the apartment to be waiting for me.

I force a smile to my lips.

Jack arches a brow. “You are my daughter. Where should I be?”

Oh crud, he is keyed up with worry over me. It would be so much better if he just got angry sometimes. But worry is the worst. I’ve worried him, yet again, only this time I didn’t mean to do it. Shit!

Neil’s eyes lock on me and I lower my gaze from his. Quietly, he whispers, “You never called Jack, did you?”

I sink my teeth into my lower lip. Great, now I have angry Neil to deal with later.

“Shit, Chrissie,” he says under his breath and then Neil rakes his hair with his hand.

I finally find my words. “It would have been nice if you had let me know you were coming here, Daddy.”

Jack shrugs. “It would have been nice to be able to talk to you about the decisions you’re making in your life. I got home from the road, expecting to spend some time with my daughter. Found your boxes in the Santa Barbara house. What I didn’t find was you, Chrissie. The condo complex confirmed you’d moved out without leaving a forwarding address for them…” Jack’s blue eyes lock on me. “…or for me.”

I change course. “How did you know where I am?”

“Rene,” he says calmly, but he is fuming. “Unlike you, she answers her mobile phone when I call her.”

Damn you, Rene.

Trying not to look flustered, I reply, “I was going to call you, Daddy. Things have been crazy since we got to Seattle. But I wouldn’t have left Seattle without calling you.”

“No? You left Berkeley without calling me.”

I flush. The room fills with a heavy, awkward silence. Neil quickly recovers from his stupor and crosses the room with his hand outstretched. “Hey, Jack, how are you doing?”

I watch as they shake hands.

“I’m doing OK, Neil,” Jack replies graciously.

“Good to hear,” Neil says, with a slight nod. He looks like he wants to drop through the floor.

“Been hearing good things about you,” Jack says.

Neil shrugs. “Trying hard, Jack.”

“It will come. It will come. Keep your head on straight. Ignore the hype. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do and stay focused on the music and it will come.”

I stare at them, unable to believe my freaking ears. Did Jack really give one of his folksy motivational musician talks to Neil in the middle of his chastising me? Jeez—this keeps getting weirder and weirder.

I sink down on a chair and stare at my white Keds.
Freaking unbelievable.

“Is there a twenty-four-hour diner or restaurant near here?” Jack asks Neil. “I’d like to take my daughter out to breakfast, if that’s fine with you, Neil.”

I roll my eyes.
I’m sitting right here. Why don’t you ask me what I would like, Jack?

“It’s four in the morning, Daddy. I don’t want breakfast.”

His intense blue stare fixes on me in that way that screams
this is not debatable, Chrissie.

“Hey, why don’t I just get out of your way?” Neil suggests, grabbing his jacket from the floor. “I can take a walk and let you guys have some privacy.”

Jack gives a slight smile. “Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”

Neil’s gaze shifts to me. “I’ll be back soon.”

I nod.
You had better be, Neil.

Jack and I sit, both holding our tongues as we wait for Neil to leave. I stare off into space until the door clicks closed behind him. I slowly shift my gaze, expecting my dad to launch into whatever is on his mind that brought him here, but he doesn’t. He just sits there, staring at me.

Jack couldn’t make this any more awkward for me if he tried, and I’m a little irritated because I think he’s deliberately doing that. Jeez, what do people do in such hideously awkward moments?

I ask, “Would you like some coffee, Daddy?”

“That would be nice, baby girl.”

I stand up and hurriedly move toward the kitchen. I can feel the displacement of air behind me and know Jack is following me there. I focus on filling the pot with water, turning on the heat, grabbing a cup and then take the instant from the cupboard.

I put a level spoon into the mug. “We just have instant, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

“Instant is fine.”

I look over my shoulder to find Jack standing in the doorway and the way he’s watching me nearly makes me cry. Now that Neil is gone, the worry is on Jack’s face un-tempered.