The Girl Who Chased the Moon (12 page)

She had to hold out her hands to make her way forward. Which was the walkway and which was just reflection? Which was the real Julia? She turned quickly when Sawyer disappeared from behind her.

“Where did you go?” she called.

“I’m not sure,” he called back.

She turned and tried to follow his voice. She almost walked into a mirror, then followed the corner of that mirror to the corridor she thought he’d taken. The strobe lights didn’t help. It was like they were in a psychedelic ice cave. And the frantic music in the room sounded like a heartbeat.

“If you want me to say I’m sorry for kissing you, I will,” Sawyer said. She caught sight of him, then he disappeared again. “But I won’t mean it. I’m sorry for a lot of things, but not that.”

There! There he was again! No, he moved. “Stand still so I can find you,” she said. “I don’t want you to say you’re sorry. It’s just … I’m leaving soon. Nothing is going to change that. If you can accept that, then …”

Peals of laughter came from the next room. “Then … what?” Sawyer asked. “I can kiss you again?”

“That’s not what I meant. There’s a lot you don’t know right now.” She turned another corner, only to find herself in a dead end that looked like the mirrors in a department store dressing room. She backed out.

“It’s starting to make sense,” Sawyer said. “I even put the idea in your head, didn’t I? ‘Live a little, since you only have six months left here.’ Or was this your plan all along, wait until a few months before you left, and then have one last hurrah?”

She stopped in her tracks, stung. How had this gone so wrong so fast? She was trying to do something good. “You think I’m capable of that?”

“You’re capable of leaving for eighteen years without so much as a look back. Do you regret that at all?” His voice was moving away.

She charged forward, determined to catch up to him. “I wasn’t the one who barreled ahead without looking back. And how do you know I didn’t look back? Were you looking? No, you weren’t. And you have no idea what my regrets are, Sawyer Alexander, so don’t go there.”

“You’re right. I don’t. You never shared them with me. You wanted them all to yourself. But what you’re saying is the only way you can do this is if it’s temporary. The only way you can let me in is knowing you get to leave me at a certain time. No strings. No dealing with our complicated past.”

“Where are you?”
she yelled in frustration.

“I have news for you. You can’t have temporary. As a matter of fact, you’re nowhere near where I want you to be.”

“What does that mean?”

“Stay in Mullaby, Julia, and find out.” She heard the squeak of a door opening, then closing.

“Sawyer? Sawyer!” It took a few minutes for her to make her way out. She went through the door and found herself in the rolling barrel. She ran through it, then through the air jets, but when she was finally outside again—the festival air textured like cotton candy—he was nowhere to be found.

What she’d been
trying
to say was she didn’t think it was a good idea to pursue a relationship in light of what she had to tell him. He might hate her after she told him. She didn’t mean she wanted a fling with him. But he
thought
she meant that, and seemed very eager to turn the tables. And for what? Just to have his way? Temporary, whether she meant it or not, should have been a dream come true for him. Instead, he insinuated that she couldn’t have him unless it was by his rules. Unless she stayed.

Did he honestly think that stringing her along would work?

She thought he’d give her forever once, and look how well that turned out.

She walked down the street toward the bandstand, huffing with indignation. This was good. The animosity was back. She didn’t owe him anything. She could just walk away now. Nothing more needed to be said.

Oh, God. If only she meant that.

If only he hadn’t kissed her.

If only he hadn’t told her …

Julia had barely made it out of the amusement ride area when she heard, “Julia! Jooooooooolia!”

She turned and saw Beverly walk up to her with tiny clips of her high-heeled sandals. Her husband, Bud Dale, was walking beside her, looking like a pack mule as he carried all her bags.

“Beverly,” Julia said in flat acknowledgment. Then she turned to Beverly’s husband. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Bud. How are you?”

“I’m doing real well, Julia. You’re real nice for askin’.” There was something about the way he said that. It gave Julia pause. It was something her father would say, in that same good-ol’-boy kind of way. Beverly had left Julia’s father, but then married a man just like him.

“I have a big surprise for you,” Beverly said.

“What is it?”

“I don’t have it with me now,” she said, which Julia found hard to believe, considering how many shopping bags Bud was holding for her. “But I’ll come by to see you tomorrow around lunchtime, okay? I’m so excited about it.”

“Sure.” Julia started to turn. “See you later.”

“Why do you have to act this way, Julia?” Beverly asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Why are you always so
unhappy?
It’s not an attractive quality. Why don’t you spruce yourself up a little? Take that awful streak out of your hair. Smile at men, show a little skin.” Beverly adjusted herself, pulling at the low V of her shirt. “Oh, I know you don’t like to show your scars, but once you’re in bed with a man, it’s not your arms he’ll be looking at, if you catch my meaning.”

“Thanks for your input. Goodbye, Bud.”

“Good seein’ you, Julia,” he said as she walked away.

“I always tried to be a mother to her,” she heard Beverly say. “You know, share my expertise. But I think there’s something wrong with her that can’t be fixed.”

Julia fought with herself, trying not to turn around and confront Beverly. Beverly had been no kind of mother to her. Julia kept walking, telling herself she wouldn’t have to put up with this, or with Sawyer, for very long.

Between the two of them, was it any wonder she was unhappy? She’d be fine as soon as she was back in Baltimore. Though she couldn’t remember ever being incredibly happy there, she knew opening her bakery was going to change things.

And at least she wouldn’t be here.

EMILY WALKED around slowly, surrounded by the hot mist from food vendors and the tinny horn music from the kiddie rides. She was trying not to look like she was looking for him. There was a chance Win didn’t mean he wanted to spend any actual time with her at the festival when he’d asked if he would see her here. But there’d been no opportunity to find out for sure until now.

She’d seen him several times that day, just passing glimpses before Julia pulled her away, or his father distracted him. Emily was so relieved that Sawyer had come up to them when he did. It had given her the perfect excuse to go out on her own, although Julia didn’t seem as happy with the idea of being alone with Sawyer as Emily thought she would be.

Barely five minutes later, as she was heading to the information booth where she’d last seen Win as he was giving out directions to visitors, she felt a familiar warm hand on her arm.

She turned around and smiled.

Win had taken off his jacket and tie and his sleeves were rolled up. He’d lost the boater hat, too. He managed to look Caribbean cool, his white button-down billowing every time the wind picked up. His eyes were intense and green as he looked down on her.

“Hi” was her brilliant opening line. She couldn’t help it. Being this close to him flustered her.

“Hello,” he said.

“Have you noticed there’s a conspiracy to keep us at least twenty feet away from each other at all times? Who would have thought being friends would be this hard?”

He waved his hand forward, indicating they should walk. “I think that’s the difference between us,” he said, looking over his shoulder, distracted. “I knew how hard it would be going in.”

“So you get the badge of courage?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m glad to finally spend some time with you.”

Slightly mollified, she said, “I wish I could figure you out, “Win.”

That made a side of his mouth lift into a smile. “If you only knew how refreshing it is to hear that.”

“Oh, come on. You mean everyone has figured you out but me?”

He shrugged, making the fabric of his shirt wrinkle at his shoulders. “Everyone in Mullaby, at least.”

“Gee, as if I didn’t feel like such an oddball already.”

“See, that’s exactly what I mean. You live in such a strange town, and yet
you
feel odd.”

As they walked, their arms touched as they were jostled by the crowd. She liked the unintentional nature of it. Everything else about Win was so deliberate. “Well, I’m glad I could shake things up for you,” she said, which made him laugh.

They’d only been walking for a few minutes before he stopped and led her to a short queue. “Let’s go on this ride,” he said suddenly.

“Why this one?” she asked, following him. Being with him felt like a game sometimes, only she didn’t know the rules. Or who was winning.

“Because it’s closest,” he said. “And my dad is nearby.”

Emily looked back, trying to find Morgan Coffey, but she couldn’t see him. Win paid for their tickets and they crossed the deck to the Ferris wheel. They took the next available seat and the attendant placed the safety bar across them.

Win put his arm over the back of the seat behind her and focused on the sky as the wheel slowly lifted them up. Emily, however, looked down at the crowd as it got smaller and smaller. She finally found his father. He was standing as still as stone, watching them with an expression made of ghosts and anger.

“He’ll leave soon,” Win said, still looking up at the dusky sky. “He won’t want anyone knowing that it bothers him that we’re together.

“You and your dad don’t get along, do you?”

“We’re alike in many ways. But we don’t see eye to eye. For example, he’s very attached to doing things the way they’ve always been done. I don’t agree.”

The Ferris wheel came to a stop two seats down from the top. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot this past week,” she said, and it came out a lot more moony that she intended.

He lowered his gaze from the sky and met her eyes. His smile was mischievous. “Oh?”

“Not like that,” she said, laughing. She stopped laughing when their seat swayed back and forth in the wind. She grabbed the safety bar in front of them. Of course
he
didn’t seem afraid to be up this high. “I just can’t get my mind around something.”

“What is it?”

“You wouldn’t happen to be a werewolf, would you?”

“Excuse me?” he said.

She slowly loosened her hold on the bar and sat back.

“There are only two reasons I can think of for why you don’t come out at night: night blindness or werewolf.”

“And you decided to go with werewolf?”

“It was a toss-up.”

Win didn’t answer for a few moments. He finally said, “It’s tradition. It’s gone on for centuries.”

“Why?”

“That’s a good question. I guess because that’s what traditions do.”

“Is this another thing you and your father don’t see eye to eye on?”

The wheel started moving again. “Yes. But going against this tradition is a big deal.” He turned to her. “Of all the things I’m going to tell you, you need to understand that the most.”

She suddenly felt excited. “What things are you going to tell me?”

“Strange and wondrous things,” he said in a dramatic voice, like he was narrating a book.

“And why? Why are you doing this?”

“I told you before, we have history.”

“Technically, we don’t,” she pointed out. “Your uncle and my mother had history.”

“History is a loop. We’re exactly where they stood twenty years ago. What’s theirs is ours, what’s ours will become theirs.”

“You’ve thought about this a lot.”

“Yes, I have.”

The wheel made one more rotation before stopping again. This time they were at the very top of the ride. Their seat creaked as it swung precariously back and forth. Emily grabbed the bar again.

Win smiled at her. “You’re not afraid, are you?”

“Of course not. Are you?”

He looked out over the horizon. “I like seeing things from this perspective. I know what everything looks like from down there. I like seeing the possibilities of what’s beyond that. What’s beyond that loop I was talking about.”

She didn’t realize she was staring at him until he turned to stare back. The air around them suddenly changed. She was so close she could smell him, a hint of cologne, and she could see the perspiration collected in the indentation at the base of his throat. His eyes went to her lips. Something warm and desperate filled her body. She’d never felt anything like it. It felt like the entire universe would cease to exist if something didn’t happen
right then
.

But the moment passed and his chest rose and fell as if taking a very deep breath of air. He moved his arm from the back of the seat.

After another rotation, the wheel stopped and the attendant unhooked the safety bar. They both got off the ride without a word and walked off the deck.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go,” he said.

She was still feeling strange, sort of buzzed and prickly. “Okay.”

But he didn’t leave. “My dad is around the corner, waiting,” he explained. “I want to spare you whatever it is he might say.”

“Okay.”

And still he didn’t go. “And it’s going to get dark soon.”

“And you don’t want to grow fur and fangs in front of me,” she said. “I get it.”

His dark hair was curling in the humidity. He ran his hands through it. “No, I don’t think you do.”

“Then explain it to me. Tell me these strange and wondrous things.”

That made him smile, like it was exactly what he wanted to hear, like he’d been planning this all along. “I will. Next time.” He turned to leave.

“Wait,” she called, and he stopped. “I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

She decided to come right out and say it. “Do you blame me for what my mother did?”