The Girls from See Saw Lane (21 page)

‘Course I can.'

‘Thanks Beverly. Tell Mary's mum that I don't know which hospital they've taken her to, she'll have to find that out herself. Oh, and tell her I'm going to the bakery to get Ralph.'

‘Don't worry, I'll be as quick as I can.'

 I ran to the bus stop and caught the number two that stopped right outside the factory. The journey seemed to take forever, with loads of people getting on at every stop. I thought I was never going to get there. I went in the main door and up to the reception. It was decorated with tinsel and Christmas cards. There was a girl sitting behind a desk. ‘I need to see Ralph Bennett,' I said. ‘His wife's been taken into hospital.'

‘I'll take you to the manager's office. He'll know which department he's in.'

I followed her down several corridors till we got to a door marked ‘Manager'. The girl explained about Ralph then left.

‘You'd better sit down, young lady,' the manager said. ‘You look as though you've had a shock.'

I sat down while the manager made a phone call to locate Ralph.

‘He'll be with us in just a minute,' he said.

When Ralph first walked into the office I wasn't even sure it was him. He had a hat on his head that covered his hair and his face was completely white, even his eyebrows and eyelashes were white.

‘Dottie, what are you doing here?' he asked.

‘Mary's in the hospital!' I said and burst out crying. Ralph immediately came over and put his arms around me. It was so nice to be looked after that I sank into them. I relaxed against him. I was so relieved.

‘It's okay,' he said. ‘Everything's going to be all right.'

I looked up at him through my tears. 

He should have been saying those words to Mary, not me. 

 ‘Which hospital have they taken her to?' asked the manager. He was a tall, thin, balding man. If you just looked at him you would have thought he was quite severe, but actually he was nice. He spoke calmly but gently, like there was nothing to worry about it.

‘I don't know,' I sniffed. 

‘Don't worry, I'll get my secretary to make a few calls, we'll soon find her.'

I nodded. The manager took a clean white handkerchief out of his top pocket, passed it to me and left the room.

‘Thanks,' I whispered, dabbing at my eyes. 

‘You're shaking,' said Ralph, taking hold of my hand.

I swallowed. ‘She was in pain, Ralph, she must have been in awful pain because the girl next door said she was screaming, and she was all on her own.'

Ralph nodded. He bit his lower lip.

‘She'll be okay. Please stop worrying. We know she's being taken care of now.'

I think he was trying to reassure himself as much as me.

The manager came back in to the room. He was smiling. 

‘She's in Buckingham Road Maternity Hospital, and by the sound of things, you had better get there pretty sharpish.'

‘Is she having the baby?'

‘Looks like it,' he grinned. He patted Ralph's shoulder. Ralph stood up. He looked very pale underneath all the flour and his eyes were wide and terrified.

‘My pushbike's outside,' he said

‘I'll take you,' said the manager. I thought that was very nice of him. ‘Get out of those overalls,' he told Ralph. ‘Don't want you getting flour all over my leather seats.'

Ralph was so nervous he made a right meal out of getting out of the overalls. 

‘Right,' he said at last. ‘Thank you.'

‘Give her my love, won't you,' I said, standing up.

Ralph stood in front of me, staring at his hands. I took the crumpled overalls from him. I wanted to hold him. I wanted him to hold me.

‘Excuse me,' said the manager, ‘but don't you have a birth to attend?'

‘Just get to that hospital,' I said. ‘Go on.'

Ralph started to go out the door then stopped and came back. He kissed me on the cheek.

 I followed him out of the factory and watched him drive off like a film star in the back of a big, fancy black car. I smiled to myself and tucked the overalls under my arm.

The day had warmed up, the sun had broken through the clouds, so I didn't bother with the bus. I felt like walking. I made my way home, climbing up the hills, through Kemp Town, towards the estate, but it was a lot further than I thought, so I stopped off at the park and sat on a bench and watched the little kids playing in the sandpit. They were all wrapped up and their cheeks were rosy with cold. Mary Pickles was about to be a mother; in fact the baby might already be born. It was such a strange thought – Mary being a mother! I just couldn't picture her with a baby somehow. She never was very interested in babies. I wondered what Ralph must be feeling. I expect he'd be over the moon. I suddenly felt very alone. This really was the beginning of their new lives, their new family. I stayed for a bit longer, watching the kids playing on the swings, then made my way home, holding tightly onto the floury overalls that smelt of cakes and bread and Ralph.

‘What's happened to you?' Mum asked when I walked into the kitchen.

‘What?' I said.

‘What's that you've got all down you? It's not snowing is it?'

I looked down at my coat and it was only then I realised that I was covered in flour. I put the overalls on the counter and dusted myself down a bit.

‘I thought you were meeting Steve this evening?' Mum said. ‘I wasn't expecting you back this early.'

I had forgotten all about Steve. I sighed. There was no point going now, I would be hopelessly late. I hoped he hadn't waited too long. I hoped he wouldn't be upset, or worried. He wasn't the sort to be angry.

‘What is it?' Mum asked gently.

‘Mary's having her baby,' I said.

‘Oh love, come here!' said Mum. She gave me a hug and kissed the top of my head.

‘Sit down,' she said. ‘You sit down and I'll put the kettle on and you can tell me all about it.'

M
ary didn't have
a little lamb, she had a little girl. Her mum came round to tell us the same evening the baby was born, December the 22nd. Mary's mum was wearing her best coat and hat and she was all pale and shaky. She said she had come over all faint.

‘It must be something to do with being a grandmother,' she said. 

Mum made her sit down in the best chair and she poured them both a schooner of sherry from the bottle that wasn't supposed to be opened until Christmas Day. Mum asked me if I wanted some, but I shook my head. I didn't like the taste. I appreciated being treated like one of the women though. I was grateful that I was included in their circle.

‘You see,' Mary's mum said, ‘it's just not how I had it all worked out in my head. I thought it'd be one of those big boys making me a grandma first, not Mary.' She shook her head. ‘Not our little Mary.'

‘What's the baby like?' Mum asked in an encouraging voice. ‘Does she have hair? Who does she look like?'

‘She's beautiful,' said Mary's mum. ‘Absolutely beautiful. And our Mary did ever so well. Screamed the place down, mind, but she did ever so well.'

She glanced over at the door to check that Dad and Clark weren't around.

‘Only six stitches!' she said with some pride.

‘My!' said Mum.

Mary's mum and my mum both nodded sagely. I was thinking: Stitches? Why would Mary need stitches? Had she fallen off the bed or something?

‘They're ever so good in there,' Mary's mum said. ‘Brought Mary a lovely roast chicken dinner, boiled potatoes, sprouts, gravy. And bread and butter. She said she wasn't hungry, but I told her she had to eat to bring the milk in.'

‘Why did she have to bring the milk in?' I asked. ‘Don't they have people to do that at the hospital?'

‘I'll explain later,' Mum said, touching the front of her breasts with her fingers. I understood then. It made me feel a little queasy.

‘I said you'd go and see her tomorrow, Dottie,' Mary's mum said. ‘They only allow two people at a time during visiting hours. Ralph's one, obviously, but Mary's ever so keen to see you and show you the baby.'

‘All right,' I said. But I didn't want to go. I didn't want to see the baby that Ralph and Mary had made.

‘Dottie…' Mum was giving me an encouraging look.

‘That'll be lovely.'

N
ext day
, during our lunch hour, Sally helped me choose a card for Mary and Ralph. It had a picture of a stork carrying a baby wrapped in a pink blanket in its beak. The baby's little arms and legs were waving out of the blanket and it said: ‘Congratulations on your Bundle of Joy'. Then we went to the florists and the girl made me up a little basket of pink- and cream-coloured flowers. Back at Woollies, we put together a whole big bag full of pick and mix sweets because we knew Mary would prefer those to chocolates. 

I caught the bus to the hospital straight from work and got there at 6 p.m. just as visiting time started. There was a queue standing in the dark outside the maternity ward, they wouldn't let anyone in early, and as soon as the doors opened we trooped in. Ralph wasn't there yet, he wouldn't finish work until a lot later.

The maternity ward was a longish ward with beds on either side. It was very clean and tidy with a tiny little Christmas tree at one end. The women were in the beds, propped up with pillows, and beside them were little see-through boxes on wheels. Babies were in those boxes. Mary and Ralph's baby was in one of those boxes.

I walked down the centre of the ward looking for Mary. My heels clicked on the shiny brown lino. Visitors dropped off on either side and there were kisses and whispers and cooing. Everybody was trying not to wake the babies.

Mary was in the very end bed.

I almost didn't recognise her, because she wasn't sitting up like the other women, she was lying on her side with her back to the ward. She was wearing a hospital gown and her hair was spread all over the pillow. I thought she must be sleeping, so I crept closer as quietly as I could. She had her back to the box beside her bed. 

I put the flowers and the sweets and the card on the table at the foot of the bed, then I looked into the box. Looking back up at me was the tiniest little baby, like a person in miniature. She had one eye open and the other closed and her fists were scrunched up by her cheeks. The open eye was dark and beady and her lips, tiny little lips, were moving, as if she were telling herself a private story. Every now and then the tip of her tongue tapped against her lips. She was tucked in by a pink blanket right up to her chin, and most of her head was hidden by a knitted bonnet, tied with a pink ribbon. The baby looked at me with her one open eye and I looked back and it was as if we understood one another. There was a bond between us. And at that moment I stopped resenting the baby, and I knew I could never again be sorry that Mary and Ralph did what they did, because if they hadn't, she wouldn't have been here. She was, quite simply, the loveliest thing I had ever seen. 

‘Hello,' I whispered. The baby tried to open her other eye but couldn't get the co-ordination right. I smiled. ‘Hello,' I said again. ‘I'm Dottie.' The baby put one fist against her mouth and began to worry at it. I put my finger down to help her, and immediately her lips fastened around the tip of my finger and she sucked. I felt this tug in my stomach as she sucked, like she was telling me she needed me. It was amazing and I smiled down at her, and it was only then I noticed that Mary had turned over and was looking at me. I felt sort of guilty. I took my fingertip out of the baby's mouth and turned back to my friend.

‘Oh, Mary!' I said, and leaned down to hug her.

‘Careful,' she said. ‘I hurt all over.'

‘Was it that bad?'

She hitched herself up the bed. I could tell she was in pain.

‘It was like passing a block of flats,' she said.

I smiled and passed her the presents. 

She took a Black Jack out of the pick and mix, unwrapped the paper and put it into her mouth. She sucked the sweet and I stood beside her.

‘How long do you have to stay in hospital?' I asked.

‘Ten days,' she said. ‘But that's all right, I like it here. They do everything for you.'

‘Oh, good.'

Beside us, the baby made a little mewing noise, like a kitten. She was trying to put her fist in her mouth again.

‘Can I hold her?' I asked.

‘If you want.'

I leaned down and picked the baby up very carefully. She was tightly wrapped in her blanket and I held her like a parcel. She turned her face towards me and nuzzled into my chest.

‘Oh Mary,' I said, ‘she's lovely.'

Mary rummaged in the bag of sweets and took out another Black Jack. She concentrated very hard on unwrapping it and not looking at the baby.

‘She's so beautiful, Mary.'

‘If you like that sort of thing,' she said.

L
ater
, when I told my Mum about Mary and how down she seemed and how uninterested she was in the baby, she told me not to worry.

‘It's a very big thing, having a baby,' she said. ‘Mary's body is having to get used to not being pregnant, and her mind's having to get used to the fact that she's a mother. When you have your first baby it's a shock to the system... all the responsibility and that. But she'll get used to it. We all do in the end.'

‘Was Rita a shock to your system?' I asked.

‘She was.'

‘She'd be a shock to anyone's system,' said my brother. ‘It's amazing you ever had another child.'

Mum laughed. 

‘Anyway' – she squeezed my shoulder – ‘Mary's lucky, she's got you to help her. Just try to make her look on the bright side.'

I nodded.

Mum looked at me.

‘What?'

‘I'm so proud of you, Dottie Perks.'

I smiled.

‘But listen, I know you'll do your bit, but that baby is Mary and Ralph's responsibility, not yours. Don't you go letting it take over your life.'

‘I won't.'

‘Good girl,' said Mum. Then she said: ‘Hadn't you ought to be getting ready?'

‘Ready for what?'

‘To go and apologise to that nice young man of yours for standing him up last night!'

I gave Mum a hug.

‘You're right!' I said and I ran upstairs to change.