Authors: Aimée Carter
“I want to live a life of respect and equality. Of partnership.
I want someone to love me for who I am, not what I can do for him. I want
someone who keeps his promises. Who doesn’t see me as a conquest.” I sighed and
stared down at the pattern in the rock. “I want to be
happy
.”
Without warning, the bird took flight, disappearing into the
trees. My heart leaped, and I stood, ready to follow his path. He couldn’t
leave, too. I could take him back to Olympus, make him immortal, keep him as my
companion—
But he didn’t return. The forest was never silent, with the
rustling leaves, gentle laps of waves on the lake, and countless other sounds
that mixed together in natural harmony, and I strained for any signs of his
chirps. Nothing.
A sob escaped me, and I sank back onto the warm rock. So this
was how my life would be. Constant loneliness, an ache for something I could
never have, and everyone I ever loved would leave me. First my mother, then
Hades, and now a creature that I barely even knew. Yet his abandonment still
stung as badly as the rest, a reminder of the pain I’d already endured.
I buried my face in my hands, and without any thought to
dignity, I cried. For myself, for the life I would never have, for the eons that
would never end. For the hope that had been stolen from me time and time again,
until it dwindled into nothing.
“Hera?”
I stiffened midsob, silencing myself. The voice had been too
muffled for me to make it out properly, but it was male. One of my brothers.
Hades?
A twig snapped, and I was on my feet in an instant. No time to
wash away my tears in the lake. A figure moved through the trees, at first
obscured by shadows. As soon as he stepped into the sunlight, however, I
recognized him.
Zeus. Of course. I would never get my way.
“What do you want?” I sank back down onto the rock and drew my
knees to my chest. I expected a smart answer, a joke about how I could stop
crying now that he was here. Instead he knelt a few feet away, and out of the
corner of my eye, I saw the concern on his face. Sincere or not, I wouldn’t
accept his pity.
“I am sorry.” His words sounded heavy, as if he were weighing
each one before he spoke. “Not only for how I have treated you, but for how I
have thought of you, as well. Father—” He hesitated. “Father was no role model,
but I am afraid I took his treatment of Mother to heart. You deserve better, as
did she, and for that I apologize.”
I shut my eyes. He could apologize all he wanted. It wouldn’t
change anything.
“You are the best of us all, Hera,” he said quietly. “You are
the strongest, the smartest, but you are also the most deserving, and—you are
the loveliest girl I have ever seen. Not simply on the outside, but on the
inside, as well.”
That was a lie and we both knew it. Hestia was the kindest, the
gentlest, and Demeter was the most even-tempered. I had power, and I had pride.
I wasn’t content with what lay before me.
But his words washed over me anyway, a small oasis within the
desert of my life. Still, I didn’t acknowledge them.
“I love you.” Zeus set his hand on my shoulder, the way Hades
had the evening we’d won the war. “Not as an ornament. Not as a conquest. I see
you, and I love you.”
I jerked back from his touch. “You were spying on me?”
“Only to make sure you were all right. After the meeting, I was
worried—”
“You had no right.” I stood furiously and started to march off.
“That was a private conversation.”
“Hera.” There was a command in his voice so reminiscent of our
father’s that even I couldn’t resist stopping and turning to face him. In that
instant, my tiny bird took Zeus’s place, flying closer to me before he changed
back. Zeus was barely a foot in front of me now. “Everything you want, that is
what I want to be to you.
For
you.”
The magnitude of his deception hit me, and I slapped him. “I
don’t care what you want to be to me. You will never be anything more than the
god who stole my rightful place from me, and the god who tricked me into
spilling my secrets.”
“They are my secrets, as well.” Zeus took my hand with
gentleness I’d been certain he wasn’t capable of. I pulled away, and his
expression shattered. “Please, Hera—I’m lonely. I’m burdened. I want nothing
more than someone to share my life with. Not to rule over as the Titans did. But
a true equal in every sense of the word.”
I shook my head. He was only repeating the things I’d
unwittingly told him, and I would not let him worm his way into my heart.
“You’re lying. You could never be faithful to me, and I will not settle for
anything short of absolute fidelity.”
“Then you will have it. The other women—they are nothing
compared to you, and I only want you. I only need you. I am yours, and I will
forever be yours, despite the seasons that pass. I will do anything to prove
myself to you, Hera.”
“Then give me your kingdom,” I blurted before I could think it
through. But that was the true test—if Zeus wanted me as badly as he claimed,
then why not pit the two things he loved most against each other?
I expected hesitation. I expected bargaining. Instead he
nodded, and with the sun as our witness, he knelt before me. “My kingdom is
yours. You will be queen, and I will be your king. We will rule together as
partners, as equals, whether you consent to marry me or not. From this moment
on, it is done, regardless of your choice.”
I stared at him. He couldn’t be serious. Whatever game he was
playing, I was nothing more than a pawn, a way for him to entertain himself
while ignoring the responsibilities of his domain.
But he had been a fair ruler so far, and he was no longer the
boy who’d led us during the war. In the year since our victory, he had
transformed into a young man, one I was nearly proud to call brother. Loath as I
was to admit it, even to myself.
“I will never bow at your feet,” I said.
“Which is why I am bowing at yours.”
“I will not consent to mistresses.”
“You are all I need.”
“I demand respect and honesty at all times.”
“And you will have it, from this moment on.”
The warmth and hope in his voice melted the ice around my
heart, and at last I allowed myself to relax. Never completely, but enough to
feel alive once more.
“I will not give you an answer now,” I said at last. “Words are
easy to speak, but I want you to show me that you mean this. I will give you one
chance. If you break my trust in any way, or if you treat me as anything less
than your equal for even a moment, it is over. But if you prove to me that you
mean this, that you’ve changed and are willing to do this—then when the time is
right, I will marry you.”
Uncertainly flashed across his face, but it was gone before I
could comment, and he stood. “Very well. You have my devotion.” He brushed his
fingertips against my cheek, and my insides fluttered. “I will do whatever it
takes to prove myself to you.”
“Good.” No use allowing Zeus the satisfaction of knowing what
his promises meant to me. As Hades had proven that day, a promise was easily
broken. “I look forward to your efforts.”
“For now, let us walk,” said Zeus. “It’s a beautiful afternoon,
and I’m with the most beautiful woman in the world. It would be a crime to waste
it.”
Once again, he took my hand. This time I didn’t resist.
* * *
Zeus stuck to his word. I hadn’t thought it possible,
but from that afternoon on, he treated me as his equal. Together we ruled his
kingdom—our kingdom now, visiting humans, watching over them, intervening when
problems became too great for them to handle peacefully. The last thing we
needed was a war among mortals, and we both kept busy, putting out fires as they
arose. One day they would be able to govern themselves, but not yet.
On top of offering me equality, he showered me with gifts and
attention. More than that, he offered me affection as well, never pushing for
more than I was willing to give. Soon I began to look forward to spending time
with him, and eventually the loss of Hades became little more than a twinge of
regret.
Each evening, Zeus asked me to marry him. After each proposal,
I said no. But his determination never faltered, and as time passed, I could no
longer deny that he’d changed. The days of wrestling in the mud with Poseidon
were gone, and I was proud to stand beside him as his queen, as his equal. My
affection for him ran deep, and though some nights I wondered what my life would
be like with someone I was truly passionate about, I knew I would find no better
offer.
So after a day that had been nothing more than average on the
surface, yet had been quietly extraordinary because I’d spent it with Zeus—I
said yes.
On the morning of my wedding, my sisters helped me prepare. I
bathed in the sweetest spring on earth, adorned my hair with the most beautiful
flowers in creation and spent hours in my chamber taking every possible step to
make sure I was perfect. But only Hestia seemed to share my happiness. Demeter
was strangely quiet as she plaited my hair in an intricate style, and nothing
Hestia and I said seemed to snap her out of it.
At last, once she’d finished with my hair, I turned to face
her. “Say it.”
Demeter blinked innocently. “Say what?”
“Whatever it is you’re thinking. I can see your disapproval
with both of my eyes shut, and I will not have my sister unhappy on my wedding
day.”
She pursed her lips, and at last she murmured, “I am simply not
sure you’re making the right decision, that’s all.”
I knew it was coming, but something inside me snapped. “And why
is that?” I said, not bothering to hide the challenge in my voice. She had no
right to question my choices. She’d chosen to live her life alone thus far, and
I wasn’t weaker than her for choosing the opposite.
Hestia quickly stepped toward us. “There’s no need to fight.
You’ve made your decision, and Demeter’s only concerned for your welfare—”
“My welfare? I daresay it goes much deeper than that, doesn’t
it, Demeter?”
“Hera—” said Hestia, but I cut her off.
“Let our sister say her piece.”
Demeter hesitated again, but finally she said, “Zeus has gone
to great lengths to prove he’s changed for you. But people don’t change like
that, Hera—they change because they want to, not because someone demands they
do. And I worry that as soon as the wedding’s over and the pair of you settle
into marriage, he’s going to revert back to the person you hate.”
“Have you heard something?” I said. “Have you seen him do
anything that would make you question his fidelity to me?”
“No, but—”
“He’s changed.” I stood. “I know him. Not only did he decide to
better himself for me, but he’s proud of the changes he’s made, and he wants to
stay that way.”
“Hera…” Demeter reached for me, but I pulled away.
“If you had proof, if you had witnesses—but you don’t, because
he’s loyal to me. He respects me, and he would never hurt me in such a way. He
would never leave me like that.”
“Zeus would say or do anything to get you to marry him,” she
said. “It’s a game to him. I’ve no doubt he loves you, but that doesn’t mean
he’ll remain loyal as soon as he has what he wants, and you must be prepared for
the possibility—”
“It is not a
possibility,
” I said.
“He’s changed, and you will see. You’ll both see. Unless you intend on
sabotaging his efforts to prove me wrong.”
Her eyes widened. “No, of course not—”
“Do you love him? Do you wish you were in my place? Do you have
aspirations to be his queen, Demeter?”
My sister’s expression hardened. “The only thing I wish is for
you to be happy. If that’s suddenly a crime or something worthy of your anger,
then so be it. I don’t regret looking out for you.”
“I don’t need you to look out for me,” I snapped. “I’m Queen. I
can look out for myself.”
Fire flashed in her irises, and for a long moment, she said
nothing as she stared at me. At last, as if it gave her great pain to do so, she
curtsied. “As you wish, my queen.”
She may as well have slapped me. I didn’t want her
condescending deference. I wanted her respect. Her acknowledgment that I was
more than some silly little girl who saw marriage as the end of aspiration. I
wanted her to trust me to make my own decisions, rather than allowing my
siblings to dictate it for me. It was my life. What I chose to do with it was my
business, and she had no say. Yet with that single gesture, she’d said more
about what she thought of my choice than words could possibly express, and I
hated her for it.
“Come,” said Hestia, touching my hand. “It’s nearly time. Zeus
will be waiting.”
I said nothing as she led me from my chambers and down the
sunset hallway. If Demeter wanted to disapprove, that was her burden to bear,
not mine. I was walking toward the rest of my eternal existence. If she chose to
remain behind me, then so be it.
* * *
Hades was waiting for me in the antechamber.
I felt his presence as soon as Hestia left, and until that
moment, I hadn’t realized how much I’d craved being with him in the time we’d
been apart. Warmth washed over me, and I smiled. It was as if I were coming
home.
“I missed you.” I stepped toward the window, where he stood
gazing out across the endless sky. “I was worried you’d decided to separate from
us completely.”
“Never.” He turned, and his eyes swept over me. “You look
beautiful.”
My cheeks grew warm, and I moved to stand beside him. “I am
getting married today, you know.”
“So I’ve heard.” His fingertips brushed mine, and I slipped my
hand into his without further prompting. “Demeter told me about your
argument.”
The bubble of happiness inside my chest popped. “She had no
right.”