Authors: Lily White,Dawn Robertson
I wanted her to shut up – to leave – to venture back to the bathroom where’d I left her so that I could gain control of myself before I’d gone too far.
“Go where?”
Her voice was so small, scared and weak. She wasn’t cussing at me or hurtling insults, she wasn’t standing up to me; but, at the same time, she wasn’t backing down.
I’d closed my eyes again when she last spoke. I couldn’t look at her. The sound of her voice alone was tearing me apart inside. This condition – this disease – whatever the fuck you wanted to label it was isolating me from reality; taking what I saw and heard and felt and twisting it into a nightmare. If I listened long enough, if I didn’t force her away, their words would become my reality. Worse than that … it would become hers.
“Get out of here, Eleni. If you value your FUCKING life, get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!”
Chapter Twenty-Five
~ Eleni ~
He yelled at me, and his voice sliced me like a knife. I should have known better than to follow him, but I could hear his battle; the same battle I had waged so many times. Thinking no one was listening to me. Thinking no one would realize I wasn’t talking to myself, instead of battling the voices that taunted me.
“Get out of here, Eleni. If you value your FUCKING life, get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!” He growled across the room, eventually turning his head to ignore my presence while he paced and cradled his head.
I should have run. He was offering me the one thing I’d been begging for since I woke up in this place. Freedom. I could have walked out of his house right then, not giving a shit about what happened to him or what kind of problems he would cause for someone else. Because, when it all came down to it, he wasn’t my problem. He wasn’t my anything. Gabriel was nothing more than a common criminal with a psychotic streak.
I should have turned and left, just like he screamed at me to do. The voices in my head were arguing back and forth. The good and evil. The right and wrong. But, I couldn’t distinguish which choice was the right one. I didn’t want to admit that, on some fucked up level, I cared about this man, that something inside me wanted to save him – drove me to save him. The painful expression that covered his face scared me. Something was wrong – terribly wrong – and I knew that he needed help. The lessons I’d learned, the endless hours I’d spent in school returned to me. I recognized his behavior – I could see that there was something deeper than an angry man. I just didn’t know what. I could help him – I could save him in the same way I wish someone had saved me all the years of my life.
My feet worked on their own and I started to cross the room. Every step closer to him I took, I lost the concern for my own life and I only wanted to help him battle the demons that clearly had a death grip on him.
Eleni, this is your chance to be free.
Eleni, you will never be free.
Eleni, he needs your help. He needs your love. Save him.
Eleni, save yourself.
“SHUT UP!” I scream without realizing I was no longer conversing inside my head. My voice rang through the study, but Gabriel didn’t flinch. He didn’t notice me or my words. The music continued to scream through the speakers and I continued on my path towards him.
Maybe I was fucking crazy. Suddenly Gabriel was my new addiction, my new escape from the memories of my shitty life. I’d only traded the poison of whiskey for the man who’d kidnapped me. Could whatever this was work in the long run? I fuckin’ doubted it, but I knew no one saved me when I needed it the most; which was why I felt a desperate need to save him from himself.
Reaching my hand out, I lightly touched his arm. His entire body stilled upon contact. His pacing came to an end and he took a deep breath. As he blew it out, he slowly began to speak in a whisper.
“Eleni, you are free to go. Please, for once, make the smart move.” He pulled his arm from my touch and walked over to a chair in the corner and sat down. But, I followed him. Stupid as it may sound, I couldn’t leave him in the condition he was in.
“Gabriel, I’m not going anywhere. You need me. Something is wrong. I don’t know what, but I can tell that something is tearing you the fuck apart.”
I realized my actions certified me as officially fuckin’ crazy. He didn’t need me, nobody had ever needed me. I’d always needed everyone else to take care of me. I was stupid not to run. I should have been all the way fucking home by then; but, instead, I made the choice to stay with this evil man. The man who’d drugged and kidnapped me. The man who’d beat the shit out of me on more than one occasion in a short period of time. This was my choice and I didn’t know if I would ever be able to live with the long term repercussions of what would happen to me; but, the one thing I did know was that this was my chance to make all the bad shit I’d ever done in my life right.
Walking around, I paced behind him before reaching up and resting my hands onto Gabriel’s shoulders to still him. He doesn’t protest my touch over the thin black t-shirt that covered him. It wasn’t until that moment that I’d been able to take him in without worry or hesitation. I studied every inch of him from my position; his scent, the sculpted muscles of his shoulders, the lines of the tattoos covering his neck. That was when I notice the line of scars.
“Oh shit, Gabriel. What the fuck happened to you?”
He was silent, not moving or even breathing, just staring down at the floor without uttering a single word.
A few seconds passed and I dared to speak again.
“Gabriel, please. Let me help you.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
~ Gabriel ~
There comes a time in every person’s life where they run against a brick wall. A time when the pressure is too high – the nightmares are too real – and the past, present and future all collide into an explosive and cataclysmic moment that brings you to your knees.
For me, that time was this moment. My past loss, my present lack of sanity, and a future in which I would have to pay for my crimes. I’d lost control, finally and completely, I’d surrendered to the voices that whispered, the demons that screamed, and the long forgotten victim that died in the backseat of a car, despite his body continuing to live on.
It was enough to twist my stomach within my body, to fog over any logic or compassion that I had left within my head, and to force blood through my veins that was tainted with the poison of violence and decay.
I’d warned her. I’d given her a chance to survive. But, as usual, she chose wrong, she didn’t listen, and she acted in a manner that would be her final mistake.
“I told you NOT to touch me.”
My words came out in a growl, my mind finally giving into the whispered suggestions, my muscles relaxing as a wave of euphoria washed over me. I was tired of fighting – tired of constantly having to hide in the shadows and behind four walls. It was easier to give in, to surrender – to accept defeat and allow the morbid suggestions and vicious commands to take control. My grin grew wicked, my head fell back and my eyes opened up to see the ceiling above me. I could feel her still behind me, her hands slowly pulling away from my shoulders – but not fast enough.
Her bones cracked when I grabbed her wrists, she screamed when I spun and forced her to the floor. She was still naked – still exposed to my sight. The markings over her skin seemed to move on their own. I tried to track them but I was too drunk on finally resigning to my own insanity to see her for the helpless woman that she was. There was no more Eleni inside that body – no person left with thoughts or feelings. She was a vehicle for my depravity. An empty shell that I could abuse to a point where it brought me relief – where it finally granted me silence.
My vision tunneled and every sound – every scream, every begging word – sounded like it wasn’t real. I couldn’t see her, couldn’t feel her, couldn’t care that I was hurting her.
Dark brown hair wrapped around my hands, like holding on to a fish as you drag it from the water. Her body twisted and turned, her legs kicked out and her fingernails raking over the skin of my hands as she fought to get free.
But I wasn’t going to free her this time. Not now that the whispers had turned to laughter – that those who used to insult me were now cheering me on. By breaking her, I was saving myself. By giving her pain, I was relieving myself of my own. My cock was rock solid, my heart was pounding through my chest and the little girl that handed herself over was now a vessel for my worst.
I no longer cared why I’d originally taken her. I no longer felt a need to help her. My anger and repulsion drove me harder – faster - and when I finally reached the room to which I was dragging her, I released my hold on her for only a split second to drive the handle down and open the door into a room designed for one purpose alone.
She took that second to attempt her escape. Instantly on her rug burned feet, she pushed up from the ground, running down the hallway in an attempt to run. I laughed as I stalked towards her, my taunting words echoing through the hallway as I watched her trip over her own feet – flinching when she caught herself on wrists most likely broken by the grip of my hands. Her face was a mask of terror – her body was an instrument of my newfound lust. She stumbled, I lunged – and I had her.
“You had your chance. You didn’t take it. Now…I get mine.”
Her scream was music to my ears, it resonated and filled me, and it sent electricity shooting over my skin and blood pumping through my veins.
I didn’t stop to think about what happened between my bedroom and now. I didn’t care. It felt too good to be free – to release the chains of insanity and wallow in the ecstasy of control. I dragged her by one foot back to that dark room – not even turning on the lights when we entered. I knew where everything was and there was no need to frighten her anymore with the sight of the tools and restraints I’d placed in several different places on the walls, the floors – hung from the ceilings.
Plus, part of the fun was the surprise.
Reaching up with my free hand, I walked slowly, still gripping her ankle and imagining the tendons tearing and the bones rubbing together as she flailed to break free. But freedom wouldn’t be granted to the stupid woman who didn’t know that her time had run out. The metal hit my hand as the sound of chains echoed through the room.
“Hear that, beautiful? That’s what you chose to stay for. Aren’t you excited?”
Her groans and whimpers floated up from the floor and the quiet sounds made me harder than I’d ever been. It was pleasure and pain – a desperate need to dominate and violate. Pulling down on the chains, I secured the shackles around her ankles. Stepping away when she was partially secured, I listened to the way the chains beat against each other as she attempted to break free. Laughter bubbled up in my chest and I taunted her from in the shadows.
“You gonna post about this, bitch? Look where your life has led you.”
Reaching behind myself, I grabbed a bottle of whiskey I’d stored away in the room. I hated alcohol – the smell, the taste – what it did to the human mind. But it was her poison; the one thing that she needed more than she needed to breathe. I wanted her sick. I wanted her begging. And I wanted to wash away every ounce of kindness I’d given her since the moment I released her from that room.
I was on my knees beside her and, gripping her hair in my hand, I kept her body still.
“Open your mouth, Eleni. You’ll like this.”
She didn’t listen, but I was able to release her hair when, finally, she realized that continuing to fight meant death. Placing my thumb over her bottom lip, I pulled down – cutting her lip on her teeth while hyperextending her jaw. With my other hand, I tilted the bottle over her face and poured.
“Better swallow baby. You’ll drown in your own fucking addiction if you don’t.”
I could hear her throat move as she desperately swallowed. The coughs and sputters as she choked on the harsh alcohol flooding her mouth and running in rivers over her face. She attempted to move her head, but I held her still until every last drop had been poured from that bottle. A puddle of the bitter smell accumulated beneath us both, but I didn’t care. I wanted nothing more but to show her who she’d been testing all along.
Tossing the bottle aside, I waited for the sound of the shattering glass to subside before asking, “You wanted to help me, right? You wanted to fuck me. You were begging for it only an hour ago, my beautiful girl.”
Standing up, I grabbed the second set of chains that hung down from the ceiling. Pulling them until they groaned from the strain, I secured the cuffs around her wrists and hissed in a breath at the sound of her screaming once again.
“Bet that hurts. Give the whiskey a bit to kick in, Eleni. You’re going to need it.”
I was on my feet once again. My hand grasped the handle of the chain attached to the pulley. Yanking down, I heard her yelp when the chains lifted her from the ground, suspending her in mid-air – a swing made of flesh and bone.
My hands reached for my pants and within minutes, they puddled over my ankles as I spread her beautiful legs and positioned myself between.
“You wanted to help me. Remember?”
She was silent, still – the only sound in the room was the strain on the hanging chains.
“Close your eyes, beautiful, and pretend this is just another stall, in another bathroom, in another bar. That should make you feel like this is nothing new.”
Fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips, I pushed forward, my jaw opening and my head falling back as the warm, wet heat of her cunt enveloped me. Her pain made her tighter and my teeth slammed together as I pulled out only to push forward harder once again. The chains beat against themselves above us and I listened to the symphony that finally silenced the screaming voices.
It silenced her as well.
While pumping in and out, I taunted her once again.
“I notice you’re not begging for it now, beautiful.”