Authors: Joan Hess
“Back from where?”
“Back from wherever they went,” Caron said, regaining the spotlight. “They were gone when we got up. They waltzed in while we were having breakfast and said they’d borrowed Dolly’s car to go to some garage. They told us who they were, then went upstairs and changed into bikinis.When they came back down, Madison sweetly asked if we’d bring them Diet Cokes—in glasses with lots of ice, please— out by the pool. Sara Louise slapped her perfect forehead and said they’d forgotten towels, and if I’d be a dear and find some for them, she’d be ever so grateful.”
Inez attempted to insert herself into the conversation. “We were so dumbfounded that we did all that, then Madison said she needed to give herself a pedicure, but she’d left her case upstairs and—”
“And asked me,” Caron said, then paused for maximum dramatic effect, “if I’d mind moving the umbrella back a little bit so the sun wouldn’t be in their eyes. Can you imagine? I kept waiting to be told that they’d like salmon mousse and asparagus for lunch, and strawberry sorbet for dessert. Did you put mints on their pillows last night when you turned down their beds, Mother?”
“Oh, dear,” I murmured, trying my best not to look amused by their tale of horrific abuse. “Did it occur to you to say no?”
“I don’t think they would have noticed,” Inez murmured.
Caron slid off the stool so she could better express her frustration by stomping around the store. “What are you going to do about them, Mother? They practically stole Dolly’s car. They left dishes and coffee cups all over the kitchen, and they didn’t bother to wipe breadcrumbs off the counter or put anything away. They said they might want to take naps this afternoon, so we had to keep the volume down if we watched movies. By now they’ve probably moved our stuff out of the master bedroom so they can have the Jacuzzi to themselves.”
“As well as the bidet,” I said.
“Dolly didn’t say anything about them coming,” growled Caron as she disappeared behind a rack of travel books. “All she mentioned were the pool boy, gardener, and cleaning service. I don’t think Madison and Sara Louise qualify as any of those. I don’t see how you can allow Total Strangers to move in like this. You told me I couldn’t even have a party, for pity’s sake!”
“I tried to call Dolly last night,” I said, “but she must have left the wrong number. I’m hoping she’ll call tonight to see how we’re doing, but she’s likely to say that the two girls are welcome to stay until their car is repaired. I really couldn’t send them away in an unfamiliar town to find a motel, could I?” I immediately sensed that my rhetorical question was about to be taken literally, and quickly added, “It’s only for a day or two, and then they’ll leave. You have the car now, I presume. Why don’t you find some back roads and pretend you’re James Bond being pursued by evil men with heavy accents and plans to conquer the world?”
“I’m a little too old for make-believe,” Caron said from some corner of the store.
Inez sniffed. “You like the Harry Potter books, don’t you?”
Caron’s head popped up from behind the mystery fiction. “But I don’t straddle a broomstick and wait to whoosh into the sky. I suppose we can buy some sandwiches and drive out to the lake. This is so pathetic, Mother. For the first time in my life, I’m staying in a really cool house with a pool, a Jacuzzi, and a humongous TV screen, but can I enjoy it? Noooo, because you decided to let these two snooty girls stay there so they can Make Me Miserable. It’s like some kind of insidious torture. I feel as if I’m on one of those ghastly reality shows where they have to eat maggots to win a million dollars.”
“We could stay at my house,” said Inez, “but I don’t have a key. My father’s afraid I’ll lose it and someone will sneak into the house to steal all of his research on the weaknesses of the Dewey Decimal System. He’s been working on it for nearly ten years.”
“Your father is too weird,” said a voice from the self-help section.
I opened the cash register and took out a few dollars. “Here’s enough to buy sandwiches and sodas. Go to the lake, or even the park. You can each take a paperback. When I get to the house, I’ll lay out the rules to Madison and Sara Louise, and also find out when their car is supposed to be ready.”
Caron appeared long enough to accept my paltry offering, then trudged out the door with Inez in tow as though they were headed to a funeral home to make prearrange-ments for their untimely demise. I would have felt more sympathy had Caron not been scheming a few days earlier to find a job as a scullery maid or a nanny. I gave myself a figurative pat on the back for not saying as much, then returned to the tedium of the invoices. The Dewey Decimal System sounded almost invigorating in comparison.
Dolly’s car was not parked in front of the house when I pulled into the driveway shortly after six o’clock. I could hear music from the backyard, which led me to cleverly deduce that Madison and Sara Louise were out by the pool. I went upstairs to change into tattered shorts, then peeked into the master suite to make sure Caron and Inez had not been dispossessed of the Jacuzzi and the bidet. Evidence to the contrary was scattered on the floor, the dresser, and the unmade bed.
Being of high moral standards, I did not look into the bedrooms occupied by the unexpected guests, although I will admit to temptation. They presented a somewhat contradictory demeanor. Obviously they were from wealthy families and had impressive educational credentials, yet they were broke and traveling with backpacks instead of steamer trunks. It was hard to imagine Madison and her aunt taking third-class trains around Europe and staying in hostels. Living in London requires more pounds than pence.
But mine was not to reason why, so I went downstairs and poured myself a drink. I debated cleaning up the kitchen, but decided that the two princesses could do so, even if it required them to plunge their exquisitely manicured nails into hot water. With a tiny twinge of optimism, I returned to the hall and picked up the pad in hopes Dolly might have called. Nothing had been noted. The message light on the answering machine was blinking, however. I crossed my fingers, then pushed the button (which was a bit harder than one might expect). All of the messages were from women wanting to either spread gossip from committee meetings or finalize arrangements for upcoming events. Although disappointing, this did not preclude the possibility that Dolly might call during the evening.
I opened a drawer and took out an address book. I had no idea what the sister’s name was, but it took me only a few seconds to flip through the pages and note that all of the entries were for Farberville locals, including those charitable souls who’d called during the day. There was most likely another address book for family and old friends, but it was not in the drawer or among the oddments of mail that I’d tossed in a wicker basket under the table.
I picked up my drink and was preparing myself to have a few stern words with Madison and Sara Louise when the doorbell rang. Pleased by the diversion, I opened the front door.
On the porch stood a dark-haired man of perhaps thirty or so. He was as tall as I and dressed in a khaki jumpsuit. His thick black hair was slicked back as if he were in the cast of a seventies musical. He appeared to be harmless, so I merely raised my eyebrows and said, “Yes?”
“I’m Nick from Manny’s PerfectPools. Are you Ms. Dolly Goforth? If so, I must say you are looking attractive this evening,”
“Ms. Goforth is not available right now. May I help you?”
“Manny had to take off for a couple of weeks on account of a family emergency. I just started working for him, so I thought I’d go around and introduce myself to all his customers and get the lay of things. I’m supposed to clean this pool tomorrow. I wouldn’t want Ms. Goforth to get upset if she should see a stranger in the backyard. Manny warned me that she does not care for strangers on her property.”
“Very thoughtful of you,” I said. “Ms. Goforth is out of town. I won’t be here tomorrow, but there are some girls who might be. I’ll let them know you’re coming.”
“Do you mind showing me the pool and the pump?” He looked at the glass in my hand. “Unless you’re busy, of course. I can probably stumble around and find everything on my own. Swimming pools are pretty damn hard to hide.Then again, Manny was telling me about this crazy client he had a couple of years ago that insisted he come once a week to clean her pool, even though she didn’t have one. They’d sit on her back porch and drink gin, then she’d insist on paying his regular fee. He felt bad about it, but it was her idea. And he is fond of gin.”
I gestured for him to follow me through the house. “You said your name is Nick?”
“Yeah. Manny and my old man were in business together a long time ago. When Manny couldn’t stand the rat race any longer, he retired and moved down here. Nice little town you got Are you and Ms. Goforth old friends?”
I opened the sliding door and went out to the patio, where Madison and Sara Louise were indeed sprawled in lounge chairs. The table between them was cluttered with glasses, plastic bottles of suntan lotion, and the paraphernalia necessary for perfection as defined by fashion magazines. Beside me, Nick began to cough uncontrollably, as if he’d swallowed a fly.
Both of them glanced up at us. “Holy shit!” said Sara Louise, pulling up a towel to cover that which her scanty bikini top did little to hide, as well as her chin and mouth. She peered at us over the edge of the towel. “Sorry, Ms. Malloy. I didn’t know we had a visitor.”
Madison had rolled over to scrabble through her purse. When she reappeared, she was wearing oversized sunglasses that made her resemble a grasshopper. She sucked on her lower lip until she could say, “Neither did I.I guess we lost all track of time. I am so sorry about the mess in the kitchen, Ms. Malloy. We really did intend to clean it up before you came back.”
“You still have time to do it,” I said. “This is Nick from PerfectPools. He’s going to clean the pool tomorrow and wants to see where the pump and the chemicals are kept. Don’t let us stop you from cleaning up the kitchen.”
Nick nodded at them. “I hope you will forgive me, young ladies. When Ms. Malloy said girls, I was expecting pigtails and braces. I won’t be a nuisance tomorrow. It shouldn’t take me more than a couple of hours.”
“No problem,” said Sara Louise as she lowered the towel a few inches. “We can stay in the house and watch movies or something.”
“The smell of chlorine gives me a headache,” Madison added.
I chose not to offer sympathy for their impending inconvenience. “The storage shed’s next to the gazebo,” I said to Nick. “I assume everything you need is there.”
Nick showed no inclination to locate the shed, but was instead staring at Madison and Sara Louise. “Manny didn’t mention anything about you two. Are you visiting?”
“Only temporarily,” I answered for them. “They had some car trouble yesterday. Did the owner of the garage give you any idea today when he expects the part?”
Sara Louise shook her head. “He’s still trying to locate it. Once he does, he says he’ll have it overnighted. I’m sorry we’re in the way, Ms. Malloy.”
“I’ll bet your daughter and her friend were complaining about us,” said Madison, giving me a complacent smile. “I think they were planning on having a little party this afternoon. They rummaged through the liquor cabinet while we were gone, and I saw some beers in a cooler. You can’t really blame them. God knows I did the same thing when I was their age. I’m sure they’ll settle down when they get older.”
I gave Nick a nudge in the direction of the shed and, when he reluctantly headed that way, said to Madison, “How do you know they rummaged through the liquor cabinet?”
“Sara Louise and I are planning to cook dinner tonight. It was going to be a surprise, but I guess it won’t be now. We’re fixing a really lavish Thai food spread, and I was looking for rice wine. This morning I was totally flabbergasted when we stumbled across a little Asian shop that carries lemongrass, spring roll wrappers, hoisin sauce, cellophane noodles, peanut oil, shrimp, water chestnuts, and just about every thing we’ll need. You do like Thai, don’t you? It’s so healthy and organic, you know, low in calories and no cholesterol.”
I was more in the mood for red meat that I could gnaw off the bone with my fangs. “That’s very nice of you. I’m sure we’ll all enjoy it.”
“We’d better get started,” said Sara Louise as she stood up, dropping the towel beside the chair. “We need to chop, slice, dice, and marinate. When will your daughter and her little friend be back?”
“I don’t know,” I said, “but while we’re on the subject—”
“Oh, you shouldn’t worry about them, Ms. Malloy,” said Madison. “As I said, they’ll grow out of this petulance sooner or later. And they certainly can’t have a pool party tomorrow if that man’s going to be here. Sara Louise and I will make sure that nothing goes on upstairs in the bedrooms. We’ll patrol the hall and wear whistles if we need to.”
“You won’t need whistles,” I said darkly.
“Never underestimate teenagers.”
She and Sara Louise went into the house. I sat by the table and forced myself to calm down. Surely they would be gone within a day or two, and I would no longer be regaled with Psych 101 wisdom in matters of child rearing. Caron, Inez, and I could celebrate with ribs and baked potatoes slathered with calories and cholesterol. If Peter wasn’t involved in some high-profile case (and I hadn’t seen anything in the local newspaper to suggest he was), then he might be willing to join us. I’d even rummage through the liquor cabinet for an imported bottle of red wine.
Nick interrupted my pleasant musings. “I found everything. You said Ms. Goforth is out of town. You know when she will be back? Manny always presents a bill and waits for a check. He has had problems in the past when he mailed them. It seems rich people aren’t any more eager than the rest of us to pay bills on time.”
“You’ll have to settle up with her. I doubt you’ll have any problems.”
“I can always come after you,” he said with a grin. “Your name’s Malloy, right?”
“Yes, and I own a bookstore that doesn’t show enough profit for you to clean my kitchen sink.”