The Grand Budapest Hotel (9 page)

Ludwig produces a crude but highly detailed map and floor-plan of the castle compound drawn with charcoal on a strip of butcher paper. M. Gustave examines it with fixed concentration. He says pointedly:

Ludwig smiles slightly, pleased and slightly embarrassed.  M. Gustave points on the map:

M. Gustave nods gravely. The others slump, listless, and sigh. M. Gustave taps rapidly on the table with the jerry-rigged shiv. Suddenly, he sits up straight and frowns. The others watch him, curious – then look where he is looking.

The camera zooms in slowly toward the crinkled wrapper of the Courtesan
au chocolat
as the five inmates all stare at it together.

Cut to:

Mr. Moustafa and the author at their dinner table surrounded by meats, sauces, and vegetables. Mr. Moustafa is immobile.

Mr. Moustafa smiles sadly with tears streaming down his cheeks. The author looks worried.

Mr. Moustafa dries his eyes with his napkin, but the tears instantly return. He shrugs.

Title:

A smoky small-town movie palace. On screen, a battle scene is in progress: tanks explode while an infantry unit charges out of a trench into a tornado of machine-gun fire. In the middle of the back row, a love scene is in progress: Zero and Agatha French-kiss in a clutch with her shirt half-unbuttoned and his fingers wrapped around her clearly visible, white breast. Her hand is jammed down into his trousers. No one else in the scattered audience appears to notice them.

Dusk. The
platz
in the center of Nebelsbad. A carnival fair is in full swing with a spinning carousel set to a Wurlitzer organ, a bustling gallery of games, and vendors serving beer and sausages. Agatha holds Zero’s arm as they walk through the crowd. He reaches into his uniform, pulls out a small gift-wrapped package, and thrusts it into her hands.

Agatha carefully unwraps the package, folds up the paper, and puts the ribbon into her pocket. Zero flips open the book and points at a flyleaf.

Agatha looks to Zero with tears in her eyes. He smiles sadly.

M. Gustave sits opposite Agatha at a long table with his hand resting on top of hers as he leans close to her recounting something vividly. They both laugh uproariously. M. Gustave says loudly, aside, to Zero:

Zero broods in the corner. The table is piled with long-stemmed flowers, and a large, cardboard box overflows with more.

Insert:

A white porcelain crossed-keys pendant hanging from a velvet ribbon around Agatha’s thin neck.

Agatha admires her pendant. Zero grumbles:

Zero looks to M. Gustave with satisfaction. M. Gustave shrugs this off with a wave of the hand, then offers a benediction:

Zero and Agatha stand together quietly on display, happy. She clutches a tulip. M. Gustave nods sagely.

The white-marble frosting counter in the back room at Mendl’s. There are three, unfinished Courtesans
au chocolat
in a row with their tops open. Agatha delicately places a little tool into the fillings of each: a
slender file, the head of a small hammer, and a half-scale chisel. As she closes them, she begins to apply a complex series of decorative ripples and swirls.

Zero, keeping a lookout at the kitchen door, gives an urgent signal. Agatha swiftly covers the pastries with e damp cheese-cloth just as Herr Mendl crosses into the room, throws open a huge brick-oven, and checks on a batch of
gâteaux l’Opéra.

A prison guard searches packages on a metal table. He slices a block of cheese into quarters. He chops-up a loaf of bread into sixths. He opens a double-sized pink pastry-box – and pauses. He stares at the three pristine Courtesans
au chocolat.

The guard gingerly closes the box, slides it aside, unscathed, and moves onto the next package.

An art-deco office looking out directly onto the clock tower of Lutzbahn Station. Deputy Kovacs sits behind a wide desk. The box containing Madame D.’s will rests beside him. Its contents have been neatly organized into dozens of little stacks and piles.

Dmitri and his three sisters are seated across from Deputy Kovacs in leather armchairs. Jopling stands in the corner stroking a Siamese cat and staring out the window. Curtains sway in the gentle breeze. Deputy Kovacs sounds concerned:

Silence. The three sisters are stoic. Jopling is stony. Dmitri and Deputy Kovacs stare at each other blankly.

Dmitri’s eyes peer sideways. He says quietly, menacing:

Deputy Kovacs looks insulted. Dmitri stands up, walks to the door, and exits. The cat squeals. Jopling follows Dmitri out the door. Deputy Kovacs’ mouth falls open. He points, astonished, across the room:

The three sisters turn around quickly. They answer simultaneously:

Deputy Kovacs waits for the punchline – but it does not come. He dashes to the window and looks down at the sidewalk.

Cut to:

A pedestrian in a bowler hat far below standing over a sprawled speck on the sidewalk. He looks up.

Insert:

Four small hammers tap rapid-fire at four half-scale chisels, chipping away into a cement pot-hole. They are making good progress.

M. Gustave, Pinky, Günther, and Ludwig work diligently by candlelight under a wooden table. Periodically, Wolf scoops up the powdery debris with a soup ladle and throws it aside.

Ludwig looks up suddenly, alerted. He holds up a finger.

M. Gustave, Pinky, and Günther stop tapping at once. They listen attentively. Feet creak along the thick, wooden floor outside the cell – and come to a halt directly in front of the door. Silence.

There is a loud but muffled sneeze.

The feet begin to creak again and fade away until they are inaudible. Ludwig signals to the others. They resume their tapping.

An attic bedroom the size of a broom closet. The walls and ceiling are  bare planks. Thick beams hold the crooked roof in place. A small skylight window is propped open with a pencil. Zero and Agatha are naked under the rough sheets of her narrow bed. They share a plate of little miniature Courtesans au chocolat. Zero whispers:

A look of dread crosses Agatha’s face. She says reluctantly:

Zero produces a square of tissue-paper the size of a large postage stamp with neat, minuscule handwriting all over it. Agatha squints at it.

A door bangs open down the hall. In an instant: Zero jumps out of the bed, leaps with both feet at once into his trousers, and shimmies up out of the skylight.

Cut to:

Zero’s point-of-view from the roof. The bedroom door creaks open and Herr Mendl looks in at Agatha. She is now calmly reading her volume of romantic poetry. He grunts:

The door closes. Agatha looks up to Zero. He holds up the sliver of paper. She shakes her head and whispers:

Zero releases the square of tissue-paper. Agatha sits up quickly as it descends, darting and fluttering, and moves her hand around underneath it while she watches trying to estimate where it is going to land.

At the last second, she reaches up and cleanly plucks it out of the air between thumb and finger.

Zero smiles. He runs away, shoeless, past gutters and chimneys, jumping noiselessly from roof to roof, into the night.

A bank of elevators in an art-deco lobby. A bell rings, and a pair of doors slides open. Deputy Kovacs emerges and navigates his way through a maze of suds buckets and women on their hands and knees scrubbing the floor. He does not notice:

Jopling sitting in a chair behind a column reading the evening edition of the
Trans-Alpine Yodel.

The evening sky is bright blue. Crowds hurry in and out of shops and restaurants. Deputy Kovacs crosses the street and stands next to an old
lady at a tram stop. He checks his watch. The tram arrives, and the door opens.

Deputy Kovacs assists the old lady, then boards behind her. He takes a seat. He looks out the window. Just as they pull away, he sees Jopling exit the building and climb onto his motorcycle.

Deputy Kovacs frowns.

Jopling kick-starts his engine and follows the tram, close behind, for three blocks. At the next intersection, a policeman blows a whistle, holds up his hand, and makes Jopling wait while a stream of opposing traffic crosses.

The tram rounds a corner and stops. Deputy Kovacs jumps up and ducks out onto the street. He looks left and right. He hurries up a path toward a grand, colossal, domed palace. A sign carved in stone above the door reads: ‘Kunstmuseum Lutz’.

As he goes inside, Deputy Kovacs looks back to see Jopling’s motorcycle pulling slowly to the curb.