The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) (34 page)

'Lorna...' I stammer, wondering whether to fling myself at her feet and beg her not to tell anyone, or play it cool and act like it's no big deal.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to run to Alec,' She smiles. 'I think the more people who know about Aleks Anzhela, the better. It exposes your kind's true nature.'

'That's unfair,' I frown, trying to defend my new species. 'Most of us are appalled by Aleks' treatment.'

'I suppose you are the expert in these matters.' She replies sarcastically.

'Well you certainly seem to be.' I stare at her accusingly.

'I hear things. I'm in a privileged position.' She smirks.

'So hold on a minute...' I turn to face her head on. 'Every member of my kind feels they have to obey Malachy? And are subconsciously drawn to him?'

'Well, Malachy's power isn't as strong as Sirus' obviously. But as a general rule, yes.' Lorna nods.

'So how does Malachy ever know if someone truly likes him, or is just infatuated by his power?'

Lorna claps her hands together slowly, as if I've solved a riddle she gave me long ago. 'Must be a pretty shitty situation for him, huh? No wonder he's so pissed off and tense all the time. I wouldn't trust anyone either.'

'And what about Lucrezia?' I ask, an uneasy feeling creeping into my stomach. 'Surely she has the same power? Why doesn't she use it?' I ask, knowing full well that if Lucrezia had her way, the entire school would fall at her feet. Not to mention she'd force Malachy to be eternally at her side.

'No, she wasn't changed by Sirus,' Lorna shakes her head. 'She was created by Maya, Sirus' partner, or wife in the mortal sense of the word.

Maya is, for all intents and purposes, second in command. Lucrezia is not as powerful as Malachy and will only 'rule' in the event of Malachy's Confinement. Lucrezia is essentially a back up, which, as you can guess, makes her pretty pissed.'

'Then doesn't Malachy have power over Lucrezia? Why couldn't he stop her from banishing Aleks?'

'Because Lucrezia didn't banish Aleks. She planted a seed in Sirus' mind. Sirus himself did the banishing,' Lorna explains, sighing again. 'Malachy can't practically force people to carry out his will the way Sirus can, he can simply influence their emotions. And besides, Lucrezia may not be next in line, but she's still of Auctorita blood. Malachy would have a hard time forcing her to feel or think anything she didn't want to.'

'And Aleks?' I ask. 'Did she ever truly love Malachy?'

'Well, that's the question isn't it?' Lorna's eyes sparkle. 'One I'm sure Malachy asked himself over and over again.'

'How do you know all this?' I marvel at Lorna, and she smirks, tapping her nose.

I glance up at the Institute, wondering how a mere human can tell me more about my kind's history than countless Theory lessons have.

'They're very selective about what they tell you,' Lorna follows my gaze and reads my thoughts again. 'And the order they tell it to you in. Makes you wonder what they're
not
telling you, doesn't it?' She raises an eyebrow, looking smug. 

'Just like the human governments.' I smirk. Lorna may think that the Auctoritas and Sir Alec are conniving – and she'd be right – but the world she still longs to be a part of isn't much better.

'They're nothing like
your
government.' She snarls. I've obviously hit a nerve.

'That's funny, they sound very alike.' I smirk, feeling a sick sense of satisfaction as she becomes more and more agitated.

'You don't know the half of it!' She yells, standing up to square against me. I almost laugh at her, but then I remember that she's extremely well protected at the Institute and has no need to fear me.

'Your Government tortures its people! It pulls them from their lives, tears families apart. Not to mention their policies are medieval!'

'Well, you are the expert in these matters.' I echo her sentiments from earlier. Whether it's bitterness about Malachy, or Tia, or the fact that Lorna has acted so smug up until this point and seemingly can dish it out but can't take it, I don't know, but I'm enjoying her anger. 

'You wouldn't believe.' She snarls. I feel a pang of guilt as a flash of pain crosses her dark green eyes. There's a hidden story around this subject. Something she's not telling me. She stands and turns on her heel, stomping back towards the Institute.

I feel guilty, it's true, but I also realise in that instant that if I piss Lorna off, I'll fail in my task. So I'm not sure if it's guilt or simply self-preservation that makes me follow her.

'Lorna!' I call, but she ignores me, hurrying up the hill. I run to catch up with her, by her side in a second, and feel my gut twist when I see tears falling silently down her pale cheeks. 'Oh, shit.' I mutter as I cross in front of her and grip her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks.

'Get off me!' She screams. I shake her gently, my eyes darting towards the Institute's windows in case Sir Alec's foot soldiers appear. From an outside perspective, this could easily be mistaken for assault.

'Stop!' I hiss urgently. Her tears continue to fall and I stare at them, mesmerised by their appearance, congealing at the corners of her eyes and spilling out, their salt leaving white tracks on her skin. I try to remember the last time I cried. I imagine I must have before I shot up in that dank alleyway but I don't remember clearly.

'Let go of me! I'll call Alec!' She threatens but I maintain my hold on her, careful to keep my fingers loose so as not to break any bones.

'Don't!' I warn. 'Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did. I shouldn't have assumed that I knew what I was talking about. You obviously have some ghosts in your past and I didn't mean to dig them up. Or to upset you,' I assure her, keeping my eyes closely trained on hers, to show her that I mean my words. 'I'm sorry.'

She sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand and blinking away her tears. 'It's okay.' She replies, her voice thick with a sob. She suddenly seems like nothing more than a child and I feel an overwhelming urge to protect her.

'I'm truly sorry, Lorna,' I reproach myself, releasing my grip on her shoulders. 'Let me make it up to you?'

She frowns at me, obviously wondering what I could possibly give her that would be worth her while. 'Do you trust me?' I ask and she snorts, her sinuses blocked.

'No. What a stupid question.'

'Okay, but as Immortals go, do you trust me?' I rephrase my question.

'I guess,' She shrugs. 'What do I have to lose?'

I turn around, bending my knees to stoop. 'Jump on.' I command, and she takes a step back.

'Are you serious?' She scoffs.

'Do you want your surprise or not?' I ask, cocking an eyebrow. She hesitates, but jumps onto my back, gripping my hips with her thighs. I hold onto her legs by the crook beneath her knees and she slips her arms around my neck, linking her hands together.

'Hold on tight. I'm not sure this is a great idea but let's try it.' I tell her, praying that she's strong enough to hold on. She tightens her grip and I take a deep breath before breaking into a sprint.

I'm travelling at around fifty miles per hour. I could easily go a lot faster, but I worry that the wind will knock her back so I keep it reasonable, circling around the Institute, holding her legs tightly.

She can't speak – we're travelling too fast – so I can only hope that she's okay as I round the back of the building, heading for the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks. To please her, I run along the cliff's edge, my feet only inches from the two hundred foot drop.

The wind is much stronger nearer the sea so I slow a little, allowing her to take in more of the view, the abandoned lighthouse just as eerie during the daylight.

The water, to my eyes, is clear and sparkling, grey and brown fish darting through the waves, pink starfish clinging to the mossy rocks. But to Lorna's eyes, I know the water is a murky grey, opaque and bleak.

I quickly locate her favourite rock, set far out, its peak hanging across the water like an eerie pirate's plank. It's not entirely stable but I think it'll hold both of our weight, and if it cracks I can save us in time.

It's too thin in width for Lorna and I to stand side by side so I set her down, urging her to step onto it before me. Her eyes are streaming and she pants heavily, rubbing the water from her cheeks.

'I could barely breathe!' She laughs, clinging to me as the wind whips her hair and skirt. 'My eyes are stinging!' She cries, yelling over the sound of the crashing waves and billowing wind. I smile and hold her arms to keep her steady as she takes in the view.

'How did you know?' She cocks an eyebrow, nodding to the rock.

'I have my ways.' I wink, praying she won't press the matter. She smiles and nods, stepping out further onto the rock. She hesitates.

'I can trust you, right?' She asks.

'I'm an Immortal. If I was going to kill you, do you really think pushing you off the edge of a cliff is the way I'd go about it?'

'You've got a point.' She laughs, taking my hands and allowing me to guide her as she puts a shaky foot onto the jagged rock. I hold her waist as she steps further out, inch by inch, onto the peak. I follow closely behind her, fighting against the wind to keep her steady.

The rock shudders beneath us but it's too subtle for her to feel it, and it seems to settle as she reaches the edge. She is shaking, through fear and excitement, and she holds a vice-like grip on my forearms.

'You're okay.' I assure her, holding her tight. Her hair covers my face, her delectable scent clinging to my skin, and she finally looks up, allowing herself to fully appreciate the view.

Seagulls swoop low over our heads, calling loudly to one another, searching for food. Lorna's hands turn blue in the cold and I wrap myself closer around her, though I know my body offers her no warmth.

I feel her heartbeat beneath my arms, pulsing through her veins. Her lungs work quickly to process her heavy breaths, and her body shudders and tenses. The rock is slippery from moss and sludge and her shoes have no grip.

'I've got you.' I tell her, flicking her hair out of my eyes to see what she sees.

She stays quiet for a long time, her head darting from side to side as she tries to catch a glimpse of everything. The waves are huge today and the foam sprays almost as high as us when they crash against the cliff side. The smell of salt is ripe in the air, coupled with decay and mould, though for me, the scent of her blood overpowers all.

'Thank you.' Her voice is barely audible, even to my ears, but I nod over her shoulder.

'You're welcome.'

I can't be sure, but I think she's crying again; the smell of her body's salt mingles with the sea's, but I don't worry. This time they are happy tears.

'This is the closest I can get...'

'To freedom.' I finish her sentence. 'I know.'

'He's very observant, your Malachy.' She smiles and, even though I know she doesn't mean it that way, my heart leaps at the words 'your' and 'Malachy' in the same sentence.

I think that I will never understand how Lorna works things out so easily and sees through people with such transparency. I put it down to one of those mysteries that will never be solved.

I let her live out her fantasy for a few more minutes before the wind begins to pick up and I start to worry for her safety. I urge her away from the edge and she reluctantly obliges, taking my hands and allowing me to lead her back to solid ground.

I take off my jacket and shrug it over her shoulders, tucking her hands into the pockets. She's shivering violently, her teeth chattering, but she denies my offer to head back to the Institute.

'Please can we stay? Just for a little while longer?' She pleads. I nod, gently nudging her over to a large rock and taking a seat next to her on its weather-beaten surface. After a few minutes' silence, she turns to me, her expression intense, and I shift uncomfortably under her penetrative gaze.