Chapter 5
The following morning, Genesis and James started a new journey. No longer was he attempting to change events during his own life, but he was engaged in a nobler objective: saving his parent's marriage. Genesis agreed to listen in on his parent's conversation the previous night. She ended up not hearing much except a few expressions of regret his mother had of marrying his father and his father's accusation that she was crazy. James never heard such things before from either parent; his previous indifference in family affairs disgusted him even further. Their conversation did reveal that there was an enormous amount of resentment in their relationship – probably for most of James's life. Finding out exactly when it all began would be a tremendous challenge for James and Genesis. It was something that they could both handle, though each had their own personal reasons for working together: he for the love of his family, she to redeem herself.
Their first stop took them another three years into the past. Nothing new was gathered, as James's parents were still having the same troubles. The fighting never lessened, the resentment never subsided, and the conduct never less combative between them.
Subsequent trips through the stream of time, each three years before the previous, turned up the same results. There was never a clear marker where things appeared better than before. By observing their conduct and speech toward one another, James saw now just how much they were living in two different worlds.
When he and his sister were toddlers – which James vaguely remembered being a joyful time – the atmosphere was marked with abuse and squabbling. The family was in constant discord. Instead of a haven from the harsh world outside, the Grant home was a battlefield with new wounds inflicted daily. By the time James and his sister were adults, the wounds were too great to heal; the pain too intense to reduce.
"I must go back even earlier," he whispered to Genesis.
She looked down at the boy of three years lying in his tiny bed,
surrounded
by stuffed animals. "Where to?" she asked.
"I'm not sure. This is a lot harder than I imagined.”
"Look on the bright side: you haven't done anything yet to get yourself killed in the future."
"That's a comfort, I suppose."
"Well, you've only been observing. You haven't gotten involved much."
"Although I doubt there is much I
could
do as an infant."
She nodded. "Yeah, I thought we might reach this point. What would you like to do now?"
He looked up at her and smiled. "I was hoping you could tell me."
"It's almost like your parents are getting worse the farther we go back!"
James lied back in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I want to know if these problems existed before or after I was born?"
"You can't see that already? They've only been married seven years and they act like mortal enemies. I'd say you and your Melissa are not part of the problem. If anything, you're keeping them together."
"What's left to do then?" he mused aloud.
She sat on one of his toys and put her head in her hands as she thought aloud. "Have you considered the possibility that your parents were never meant to be together in the first place?"
"I may be unhappy with my life at present, but that's not something I want to undo."
"What I meant to say is that you gave this your best shot, and I've done far more than I should have. There just doesn't seem to be a way to help here."
"It certainly seems that way, doesn't it?" James confided with reluctance.
"So maybe it's something that no one
can
fix. You certainly can't fix things looking like this."
He climbed out of bed and began pacing around the room. He sighed heavily, not to express his anger with Genesis for her negative assessment. Rather, he knew she was right. "I know what you're saying. I just don't want to give up this easily."
"Well, do you want to know what I think?"
He nodded.
"I think that you've done far more than most would have."
"That's only because I have a power no one else does."
"You're wrong," she said. "
I
have a power no one else does. And the only reason I did any of this is because your intentions are noble and I respect that."
"You do?"
"There aren't many people who would take the risks you have. You remind me of someone close to me, who took a lot of the same risks."
“What happened?”
She hesitated answering, then said: “For my part, the risk wasn’t worth what I lost.”
"I'm sorry if I put you in harm's way by asking you to bring me here."
"Not to sound selfish, but if I was worried about my own safety I would never have given in. You remember, I told you I've done this before. Just know that
I’m
here for you and I'll do whatever I can to help."
"Even if I'm a three year-old?" he asked.
"Especially if you're a three year-old." She leaned forward and softly kissed the tip of his nose.
He smiled. “I just need to figure what to do about my parents." He climbed back into his crib and threw his head against a teddy bear.
"You could just let it go," she suggested.
"What if we went back to before I was born?”
“No way! It’s far too dangerous. I can't do it!"
"You can't or you won't?" he asked.
"I
can
do it, James. I shouldn't."
The three years-old boy turned away with his back towards Genesis. "I don't understand. We've been careful already and nothing bad has happened, right?"
She flew down to rest on his shoulder. "I know," she said. "We have been. But it's only because you remained an observer. Now, you're talking about getting involved – and when you don't exist yet!"
"But I won't get involved. I promise!"
"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" she insisted. "Your parent's marriage is in trouble, I understand that. But why are so willing to risk your own life to save them?"
He buried his head in his hands. "I already told you why."
She got closer to him, as she could sense he was pulling away. "Yes, but this is no longer a selfless deed. This is suicide. If you interrupt the flow of events in your parents' lives too much, you may never be conceived. You being here in the first place is a million-to-one miracle."
"I don't care."
"I'm asking you as a friend."
He pulled his head out of his hands and glanced at her. "Don't do that."
"Do what? Try to stop you from creating a paradox?"
He said nothing.
She shook her head in frustration; she didn't understand why she couldn't convince him to leave his parents' marriage alone. "Listen, if you somehow do something that prevents your parents from ever getting married, then you will never be able to return home. You will exist only as part of a paradox."
"But we wouldn't be doing anything as drastic as you're describing! We're just going to find out as much as we can about why it failed."
"What's the point of going back and watching things happen if you're not going to stop it?"
"I just want to know what went wrong. If nothing else, I'll be able to learn from their mistakes. We won't change anything. I promise."
“I'm not buying that for a second, James!” she shouted. Genesis sat and shook her head in defiance of his wishes. She knew James well enough that he wouldn't be able to see something terrible happen and do nothing about it. He would insist on getting involved. She already allowed a friend to die on her watch and she wasn't ready to do it again - especially with James, with whom she had already grown to love. Her feelings, the first romantic feelings she’d ever felt, were already difficult to contain. If she followed her heart and agreed to help him, there would be no going back; she knew herself well enough. And if they made a mistake, he would be trapped in the stream forever. She couldn’t go back and prevent his mistake. "If we do this, you have to promise me that you will only say and do what we discuss together first."
"I promise."
"Okay then," she said. "Let's get you into an adult body already."
He laughed. "I do have one question. If I don't exist yet, into whose body will I be transferred?"
She jumped to her feet, forced a smile, and gave him a subtle wink. "Leave that to me."
For the first time since Genesis began using her powers on James to send him back in time, he suddenly awoke to find himself in a strange place. Upon looking in the mirror, he saw that he was in the body of his father's Uncle David. He hardly recognized himself since he had only seen the man once as a child (he died when James was only a boy).
"I can't believe you can control it this precisely," he marveled.