The Greatness Guide: One of the World's Most Successful Coaches Shares His Secrets for Personal and Business Mastery (16 page)

Keep perspective. Most of the problems we think are disasters turn out to be blessings, in hindsight. I’ve faced things in
my life that seemed so painful at first. Thought the world would end. But with the passage of time, those evolved into the very things that made my life better and happier and more rewarding. And my guess is that the same holds true for you.

So do some inner work around perspective today. Focus on the good. Smile and laugh more. Life is short, and the world is small—but it’s also really, really wide.

I’ve learned some of the deepest lessons on life from guys driving taxis. Want some big-time wisdom? Jump in a cab. Put away your Blackberry or your cell phone and get to know the human being in front of you. He speaks to hundreds of people each day. Very often, he’s wiser than you could imagine. I was reminded of that last night.

I’m in Mumbai as I write this chapter. Here to give a day-long leadership seminar and then do another presentation for the Young Presidents’ Organization tonight. I love this place. Love the food. Love the energy. Love the people. The driver’s name was Ramesh Sharma. He saw my name on the taxi reservation sheet. “Robin Sharma … where’s your father from?” We started a long chat (Mumbai traffic is crazy—we had lots of time) and really connected. He laughed like a child—Indians are among the happiest people I’ve met anywhere in the world. He told me about his family, his passion for reading, his philosophy. And then he said something I’ll never forget.

“In the North of India, where I’m from,” he noted with pride, “a guest is God. When someone comes to our home, we treat them with the highest of respect and love. Even if we
have to miss eating, we make sure they are well fed. That’s our culture. It brings us joy.” Brilliant.

In your life, and in your organization, do you treat your “guests like gods”? Is that idea a part of your personal and organizational culture? And let me also ask you: What would your personal life look like if everyone who visited you and intersected the journey of your days was treated like a god (whether that person was a family member or a stranger on the street)? What would your professional life look like if you treated your customers with reverence and admiration? You’d be world class. You’d be more successful. You’d be happier. You’d get to greatness.

So leave work 30 minutes earlier today. Hop into a cab and go for a ride. Don’t bring a newspaper or a phone. Just bring an open mind (and a pen). And get to know the human in the car with you. You might love what you hear.

Time is a beautiful commodity. It is part of the hardware of life. What you do with it shapes, in so many ways, what your life looks like. And yet, while almost every one of us wishes for more time, we misuse the time we have.

I’m no guru, you know that. But I’ve become pretty good at using my time well. Time wasted is time lost and the big idea on time is that once it’s lost, it can never be regained.

I recently read that John Templeton, the celebrated financier, never went anywhere without a book in his briefcase. This way, if he found himself in a long line, he could use the downtime to read, learn and grow. I also read in
Rolling Stone
that Madonna hates wasting time. She used to bring a book with her when she’d go out to a nightclub to use the time when she wasn’t dancing efficiently. My coaching clients are like that. And they lead big lives as a result of that giant devotion to time management.

I want to be clear: I’m in no way suggesting that every minute of your days, weeks and months need to be scheduled. Be spontaneous. Be playful. Be free. I’m a free spirit at heart. I just find that the people who have the most time for fun are those who know how to plan and then use their time well. In my experience, the people who feel stress the most and lead their lives like a five-alarm fire are those who leave life to chance and make no time to set schedules, articulate goals and follow well-thought-out plans. “Anxiety is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation and action,” observed thinker David Kekich. Powerful thought.

Just met a reader at a book signing. He was a cynic—even after he read one of my books. No worries—not everyone is open to my words. And I have no need to be right. I just share the philosophy that feels truthful to me. If someone doesn’t agree with it—well, not everyone likes coffee either. Diversity of opinion is what makes life so interesting. This reader was kind though. Said he actually loved the book; he just didn’t believe it would help him. Hmmm.

Faith and belief do move mountains. And if you don’t believe that an idea will work, then there’s no chance you’ll act on it (and if you don’t act, how can you get results?). Thought is the mother of action and your beliefs really do become self-fulfilling prophecies.

I thought a lot about the reader’s comments after the book signing. If I had the chance to meet him again, I’d use the metaphor of mountain-climbing to help him understand that people truly can make changes that last. I’ll offer my thinking on this point to you. I have three thoughts, in particular, to help
you take the ideas I’ve shared so far in
The Greatness Guide
and integrate them into your life so that you see real and lasting results:

D
EFINE WHAT THE MOUNTAINTOP LOOKS LIKE
.
I suggest you articulate, in writing, what success looks like to you. Note what needs to change in your life for you to feel spectacularly successful and what will happen if you don’t improve. Then record your goals for all the key areas of your life. Write out what you want your reality to appear as five years from now. List the values you want to stand for. Clarity precedes success—and awareness precedes transformation.

S
TART CLIMBING
.
There’s great power in starting (I call it the Power of a Start). A single act—done now—sets forces into play. It generates momentum. And with the action you begin to experience positive results. That begins a positive feedback loop: more action, more results. And that, in turn, promotes confidence.

T
AKE SMALL STEPS
.
You can’t get to the top of Everest by jumping up the mountain. You get to the mountaintop by taking incremental steps. Step by step you get to the goal. Every step gets you closer to the dream. Life’s like that too. Small steps each day get you to greatness over
time. Why? Because the days really do become weeks and weeks become months and months become years. You’ll get to the end of your life anyway—why not reach that place as an extraordinary human being?

I was just in Starbucks getting a soy latte (love it with brown sugar). The woman next to me collects her coffee from the barista and then says: “Can I have a tray?” She didn’t say it rudely—she just wasn’t polite. That got me thinking. Whatever happened to “please”?

To me, “please” means “I respect you.” “Thank you” means “I appreciate you.” Good manners are powerful in showing those around you that you care about them. I love Frankie Byrne’s line that “respect is love in plain clothes.” How often have you bought something at a store or ordered something in a restaurant and just ached to hear some good manners?

Authentic success is not complicated. It comes down to consistently following a series of fundamentals. Those who get to greatness just run the basics—bit by bit, day by day—over many months and years. It’s not hard at all. It just takes small acts of daily discipline around a few important things. But when done over time—amazing results appear. The best among us just do the things most of us already know we should do to live an extraordinary life really well. And they do it consistently. One of the key things they do is say “please” a lot.

Good manners are a stepping stone to being a remarkable human being, whether as a mother, a father, a salesperson or the CEO. They really do show people that you respect them. Yes, having good manners is common sense. But as the French philosopher Voltaire once said: “Common sense is anything but common.” And if all this stuff is so obvious, how come most people don’t do it?

Someone told me a while ago that Jon Bon Jovi is a fan of
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.
Interesting. I’ve always admired the man for his passion and his music. This morning I heard a song of his in which he sings: “When the world gets in my face, I say have a nice day.” Got me thinking about Bon Jovi, his long career and why he’s still going strong after so many years.

There’s great power in focusing on what you want. Seems like such an obvious statement, yet most of us miss it. Dreams can come true. You can get to a place called Extraordinary in your career. You can find love deeper than you’ve ever imagined. You can realize world-class vitality and find lasting fulfillment. But you need to focus. The person who tries to do everything accomplishes nothing. Most people try to be all things to everyone. And so they end up nothing to anyone. Confucius nailed the point: “Person who chases two rabbits catches neither.” Big idea.

What you focus on grows. What you concentrate on is what you see more of in your life. Think about that line. Focus on financial mastery and you’ll see your economic life improve.
Focus on being more loving and your relationships will improve. Focus on your physical dimension by exercising and following a superb diet and your health will improve. Focus. Focus. Focus. That’s what the best of the best do. Tunnel vision around their biggest To Do’s. They stick to their knitting rather than scattering their brilliance. A few months ago I had dinner with a billionaire client of mine. I asked him what was the single best thing he did to get to his financial mastery. “I made this goal my sole reference point,” came the instant reply.

Back to Jon Bon Jovi. From what I can tell, he’s still around and doing great because he had an idea about what his music would be and where he could take it, and then he stayed focused on that mission. I’ve heard he’s faced some tough times (join the club). But he didn’t give up. He didn’t play victim. He remained strong and on course. He stayed true to his fans and himself.

This is a powerful idea. Got it from an article I read on Ted Leonsis, vice-chairman of AOL. A number of years ago he was on an airplane that looked like it was going to crash. It didn’t, but the brush with death changed the way he viewed life—and lived it. He decided, as soon as he got off the plane, to live with a greater sense of passion, purpose and urgency. So he took out a piece of paper and scribbled out a list of the 101 things he was absolutely committed to doing before he died. Borrowing from his example, I’ve done the same. It has worked wonders.

It never ceases to amaze me how powerful a practice written goal-setting is. Just ask anyone who does it on a consistent basis. Leonsis, whose list included everything from starting a family to owning a professional sports franchise, has accomplished two-thirds of the objectives he wrote down. Clarity clearly does precede success. And with heightened awareness of what’s most important comes wiser choices.

As for me, I’m still in hot pursuit of my dreams. But so many of the goals on my list have been achieved, including starting a
charity to help disadvantaged children become leaders, watching the sun set on the tiny Greek island of Santorini and showing my kids Michelangelo’s statue
David.
And I’m just getting started. So should you.

At the end of our lives, few of us regret not having made more money. Just doesn’t happen. What we truly regret are the places we didn’t visit, the friendships we didn’t nurture, the risks we didn’t take and the things we didn’t do with the people we love. Brings me to the point I need to passionately make: Spend time with your kids.

I love what I do. Sure there are lots of airplanes (I still feel like a kid on every flight takeoff). Lots of big events in cool places. Lots of great conversations with interesting people from all walks of life. Lots of wonderful opportunities to share my message with those who need it. But nothing—and I really do mean nothing—is more important to me than being a great dad. I’ve worked with too many executives who get to the top of the mountain and realized that they lost what mattered most along the way.