The Green Knight (20 page)

‘It's so kind of you to come and see me, I'm so glad you've come! What time is it?'

‘It's three o'clock, in the afternoon in case you aren't sure. Bellamy,
sit down
– '

‘I'll put something in the meter and turn on the fire – '

‘No, no, I'm only staying for a moment,
listen
. Lucas asked me to tell you, it's in the strictest confidence.'

‘What, what – ?'

‘That chap that Lucas killed, you know – '

‘Of course I know!'

‘Well, he's not dead. The doctors evidently thought he was dead and the press said he was dead, and Lucas thought he was dead, but he recovered and he turned up at Lucas's place – '

‘What, and Lucas didn't know – ?'

‘No, it was a complete surprise.'

‘But, Clement, how marvellous, how
wonderful
, Lucas must be so glad, so
relieved
, he didn't kill a man after all, it's like a
miracle
– '

‘Oh yes, it's great – '

‘It's like Lazarus, how
splendid
, raised from the dead, and he
liberates
Lucas, doesn't he, takes away that black cloud, when I saw Lucas he was so – I'd love to meet him, have you seen him, what's he like?'

‘I haven't seen him and I don't know what he's like.'

‘How kind of Lucas to send you to tell me – '

‘Well, don't tell the others please.'

‘I won't tell anyone, but – '

‘Why do you live in this awful dump, what do you do all day? Can't you either get yourself into that bloody monastery or else live an ordinary useful rational life? Or do you want to be a freak living in a wood and picking up sticks like Tessa Millen? You're such a hopeless muddler, always arranging to make yourself fail and be miserable – all right, I know, I know, I'm sorry – '

‘Clement, do stay here, don't go, let's spend the rest of the day together, we can walk though the City and look at the churches – '

‘In this rain? Anyway I can't, I must rescue my car, anyway I've got to go to the theatre, I've got to rescue someone's botched design, and arrange a bloody poetry reading, oh never mind – I'll come another time, to see you I mean, if you haven't been removed – '

‘By men in white coats?'

‘No, fool, by your priest, or by God or – oh
hell
– '

‘What's the matter?'

‘Nothing. It's just the rain. Look, your window leaks, it's coming in, it's not just my mackintosh. Goodbye.'

 

 

 

‘You lost us some cards, I did too. I was taken by surprise.'

‘You mean we should just have denied it all or pretended not to understand?'

‘It's still not too late to try, his memory may be hazy. Damn it, I haven't
time
for this wretched business – he may be a fool after all, a weak man putting on an act, the thing is to settle him quickly, confuse him and send him packing. He must be sent away mystified.'

‘Suppose he wants to take you to court.'

‘Us, Clement, us. I don't think it will come to that. I'm afraid he wants money. We must treat him like a poor confused creature who had a blow on the head. Perhaps that's what he really is. Still, I can't make him out, there's something wrong. He seems intelligent and cultivated, yet he's some sort of outsider, intruder – '

‘He's an immigrant, or his father was.'

‘It's more than that, I don't like him, he's a cursed nuisance, I don't care for ghosts, why couldn't he die decently.'

‘Perhaps he just wants you to say you're sorry.'

‘What for?
Think
, my dear,
think
.'

‘All right, all right. But he did want to make you say you didn't believe he was a thief.'

‘Yes, but that's a trifle. Well, we shall see what is to come. It is nearly six o'clock. I don't want you in the room. He may turn out simply to be mad, that might be best provided he isn't violent. Stay in the front room, but keep the doors open. There's the bell. Let him in.'

 

Clement had let him in, smiling and saying nothing. The visitor smiled too and said nothing. He followed Clement to the drawing-room. Lucas, standing behind his big desk, bowed his head slightly and pointed to a chair placed facing the desk about ten feet from it. The visitor returned the bow. He pulled the chair forward and stood beside it, looking back at Clement who was still at the door. Clement raised a hand, then slid out through the door leaving it ajar. The visitor turned to Lucas. Lucas sat down and immediately began to talk.

‘Please sit down, Mr Mir, I expect you must be feeling a bit weak, after all I imagine you are still convalescent. If you remember you kindly told us your name. I must congratulate you on your recovery and I am glad to see you so alive and well. It is kind of you to visit me again. I am sorry that I cannot give you much time and we must have a brief, though I am sure pleasant, chat. What a blessing the rain has stopped. When did you leave the hospital, on what date?'

Mir had sat down and placed his umbrella and his trilby hat upon the floor. He was wearing a long black mackintosh of which he now undid the buttons. He replied, ‘I can't remember exactly.'

‘I quite understand. A certain confusion must be part of such a condition, areas of the memory are lost. I hope you have good doctors. I expect they are still keeping an eye on you. Do you see them regularly?'

‘I have stopped seeing them.'

‘Surely that is not wise? I imagined you would still be having helpful therapy? Who was the specialist in charge of your case? I'm afraid I can't remember what hospital you were in.'

Mir did not reply to this question, he simply shook his head slowly.

‘Well, all that is your affair. I am glad to see you again and to express my sympathy. I would like to be able to help you, but I am afraid I cannot see any way in which I could. This brief quiet talk is certainly in order, and may be, in its way, a relief to both of us. Let us be gracious to each other and be content with just this meeting, for which I can well understand your desire. There is little to say. Perhaps we have already said it. I say sincerely that I wish you well.'

Mir, who had been looking at Lucas with a slight frown, said, ‘Where's the other chap, I mean your brother?'

‘The other chap is working in the front room, he assists me sometimes.'

‘I thought he was an actor.'

‘He sometimes acts. This does not make him an actor. I am sure your family must be very happy with your recovery. I expect you are staying with them.'

‘I have no family.'

‘Well, that too may be a blessing.'

‘You evidently thought so. Why did you want to kill him?'

‘I am afraid you are confused. I never wanted to kill anybody. I am very sorry for the damage and disturbance to your mind which I sincerely hope is temporary. As you know, I was under the impression that you were attacking me. I am very willing to admit that I may well have been wrong.'

‘I saw you trying to kill that man. You were holding a club. I think I saw it lying on your desk when I first visited you.'

‘You are talking wildly. Indeed you are
dreaming
. I fear our conversation is getting nowhere. Look, let us be reasonable, I do not want to waste your time any more than my own. I have agreed to see you again, I have spoken to you with sympathy. Your conjectures and your, perhaps unintentionally, portentous tone, are not assisting our discussion. Come, that won't do! I am sure that you do not want, after your unpleasant experience, to land yourself in further fruitless complications which would only damage yourself and not me. Truly, I do not want to cause you any more harm. You spoke of restitution, but I think that is better forgotten. Perhaps you are short of money? It occurs to me that this may be what you want. But of course – '

‘You are offering me money? I can assure you that I am not after money. I have plenty of money.'

‘That is just as well, as I have not. That being so, Mr Mir, I cannot see how I can assist you, and as I said I do not want to take up more of your time.'

‘Oh I have plenty of time, indeed I have nothing but time, since thanks to you I am now unemployed. What is your brother's first name by the way?'

‘His name is Clement – '

‘A good name. Would you mind if he were to join us? I imagine he is listening at the door in any case.' Without waiting for Lucas's gesture Mir rose and strode to the half-open door. Clement, standing outside, almost fell into the room. ‘Please come in, Clement, if I may call you so.'

‘Mr Mir is about to go', said Lucas. ‘You sit
there
.' He pointed to a chair near the door against the bookshelves. ‘By the way', he said to Mir who was returning to his seat, ‘how did you know he was an actor?'

‘Well, I have, as I think I said, had plenty of time on my hands while I was waiting for you to reappear, some of that time I have employed studying your family and your friends, to whose houses after all, you might have returned.'

‘You mean – detective work.'

‘No, just watching and enquiring in a friendly manner and coming to certain conclusions which you might be interested to hear – '

‘No doubt as a result of your disability, you are beginning to ramble. May I suggest again that a gift of money may be in order? Within my means of course, or a gift or indemnification of some sort,
something
positively good, may I put it so, to compensate you, even symbolically, for the distress I have accidentally caused you? Please
think
about what I am saying. By thus accepting something from me you would bring relief to both of us. I realise that your mind is not entirely clear – '

‘I am not interested in symbolic compensation. It is true that I have to some extent lost my power to concentrate, and with it my ability to
work
, that is to do the difficult and valuable work to which I was dedicated, and thus, to put it briefly, my life has been ruined.'

‘I am very sorry, but I have neither the time nor the talent to act as your therapist. For that you must go elsewhere.'

‘I am really following our conversation very carefully and do not, contrary to your belief, think that it is getting nowhere. You have, perhaps inadvertently, given me quite a lot of valuable information. You keep expressing a wish to get rid of me and have twice offered me money. I have told you that I do not want money and have explained that I have lost forever a job which I prized – '

Clement, from the back of the room, said, ‘What was your job?'

Mir paused. Then said, ‘I am, or rather I was, a psychoanalyst. I hesitated to tell you, since not everyone likes psychoanalysts. And I do not want to be told, physician heal thyself. Of course neither of you would suggest anything so silly. Anyway, leaving this aside, let me continue with my explanation. You recall that when you asked me at the end of our last encounter what I wanted, I said “restitution”, and when you queried this I said “justice”. Well, since you seem to be giving consideration to what I want, let me repeat that what I want is justice.'

Mir had turned his chair somewhat sideways so as to include Clement in his observations, and every now and then turned towards him. Clement, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, was listening intently to the conversation which was becoming more and more baffling. Lucas was leaning back impassively, speaking softly and clearly. His yellowish thin-eyed thin-lipped face expressed a weary, sometimes faintly amused, obduracy, as of someone, capable of ruthlessness, temperately addressing a tiresome child. At that moment, as if taking advantage of a momentary silence, a gust of wind shook the garden doors, hurling pellets of rain, perhaps even little hail stones, against the glass. Mir frowned, looking at the well-drawn velvet curtains which were shuddering slightly. Lucas moved the lamp upon the desk so as to cast more light upon Mir, less upon himself. Mir was fumbling with his mackintosh, thrusting it off onto the floor. Clement took note of his expensive well-cut suit, the now visible waistcoat and chic green tie.

Lucas continued, maintaining the same tone, ‘I am sorry that you have these persistent gaps in your memory. We agreed that there is nothing to be gained by involving lawyers and law courts. That would not
in any way
benefit you. Particularly after your recent admissions concerning the state of your wits. You must dismiss any such idea.'

Mir, smiling now and leaning forward and gesturing with both hands, replied, ‘Oh, but I have no intention of that sort, not at present anyway. I agree that it would involve, as you put it, more tiresome unpleasantnesses! Justice does not dwell only in courts of law. Please let us talk for a moment or two about justice, a respectable and ancient concept, expressed in my book, if I may put it so, as an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'

Lucas, who had been concentrating upon his visitor, observing his facial expressions and bodily movements, said ‘Are you Jewish?'

‘Yes. Are you?'

Lucas, after a moment's pause, said, ‘I don't know.'

‘What does that mean.'

‘I was an adopted child. I do not know, or wish to know, who my parents were.'

‘I see – and he – ' Mir turned for a moment toward Clement, ‘yes, indeed. I am sorry. But really, you know, I feel sure you are Jewish, yes, I'm sure you are, I can see – '

Lucas, who had frowned for a moment, interrupted, resuming his cool silky tone, ‘You have spoken of restitution, you do not want money, I do not know what you want, I dare say you do not know what you want, what am I to offer – ?'