The Green Knight (38 page)

Sefton said, ‘Aleph has got one too, and so have I.' She took the amber necklace out of her pocket and laid it upon the table. Moy fingered it and admired it.

‘You can have it,' said Sefton to Moy, ‘I never wear jewellery.'

‘No, it's yours,
he
wanted you to have it.'

‘The blue goes with Moy's eyes,' said Louise, ‘and the amber goes with Sefton's eyes, and her hair.'

‘Then what about Aleph?' cried Sefton. ‘Come on, Aleph, open yours!'

‘I can't open the package, it's all glued up. You open it, Moy.' Moy opened it as far as the box, which she handed back to Aleph.

Aleph, frowning slightly, as if fastidious, opened the box and lifted out a heavy sparkling mass. The others, exclaiming and averting their eyes, could not at first see what it was. Aleph ordered it, holding it up between her hands.

‘Diamonds!'
said Moy.

Sefton said nothing but looked at her mother.

Louise thought, oh – this is
too much
– it's frightening, it's
sinister.
She said in a mute soulless voice, ‘I suppose they are real – '

‘Louie, of course they are,' said Sefton, ‘how can they not be!'

‘We can't accept them,' said Louise.

‘We've accepted amber and lapis, so why not diamonds!' said Moy, and then laughed one of her rare wailing laughs.

Aleph had now arranged the necklace on the table making the shape of a V-shaped collar. The diamonds sparkled emitting blue and sometimes yellow light. ‘They are alive,' said Moy.

‘Moy thinks everything is alive,' said Sefton, ‘I heard her say sorry to a piece of lemon peel.'

‘Whatever are we to do?' said Louise.

‘Write him thank you letters,' said Sefton.

‘But we don't know his address. And anyway we
can't
– it's not right – '

Aleph gathered up the sparkling mass and dropped it back into its box. She uttered a long deep sigh. Then she rose and left the room taking the box with her. Sefton laughed. The two girls stared at their mother, who was rubbing her hands violently over her face and tugging at her stiff hair which stood up between her fierce fingers.

‘Why worry so much, Louie?' said Sefton. ‘Don't be so old-fashioned.'

‘Don't be a fool, Sefton!' said Louise. Sefton was startled at her tone and looked at Moy, raising her eyebrows.

‘Let's ring up Clement,' said Moy.

‘You think Clement is the measure of all things!' said Sefton.

‘I mean, he probably knows Peter's address.'

‘Louie dear, I'm sorry – ' said Sefton.

Moy said, ‘I think it would be unkind to refuse the presents.' ‘Ungracious,' said Sefton. ‘All right, it is a bit embarrassing. But what else can we do?'

‘He said he had no family,' said Moy, ‘and he wanted us to be his family.'

‘Louie,' said Sefton, ‘it isn't that we madly want to keep these baubles, it's just a matter of decorum.'

Louise rose and faced her two daughters, Sefton with her short jagged red-brown hair and her green-brown hazel eyes and her sturdy commanding presence, and Moy with her blue Teddy eyes and her hair hastily twisted into a mass upon her neck, making her look older. Louise thought,
what will happen to them—
perhaps just this is the beginning of some awful end. She said, ‘Just
think.
Don't you remember that awful scene?'

Sefton said, ‘Yes. But let's leave
that
alone.'

‘These presents are a bribe. He wants us on his side. He's forcing us to come out for him, to endorse his story, to
decide
for
him.'

‘Well, what do we think?' said Sefton. ‘You had a long talk with him, Moy.'

‘It wasn't about that.'

‘Of course not, silly, but what did you make of him?'

‘He's very strange,' said Moy, ‘I can see him as an analyst trying to probe people and – help them – then something terrible happens to him – and everything's upside down – But I don't think he's bad. I think really he's kind and good, there's something simple about him, only – '

‘So you think he's truthful?' said Louise. ‘You say he's strange. Perhaps he's mad – or extremely ill.'

‘You see how difficult it is,' said Sefton, ‘it's like in history when you simply can't decide. All right, one looks about for evidence – but I for one can't see at all clearly here. I don't think accepting the presents need imply we swallow everything. It is a bit unfair to expect so much of us – '

‘Exactly.'

‘But if we grandly send the stuff back we can't continue to hover, we're in the fray.'

‘But if we keep the stuff we're in the fray too.'

‘I don't think so – we can be just passive. It's forced on us, we didn't ask for it. As I said,' said Sefton, ‘I am not motivated by any desire to keep this expensive necklace – if it would clarify the situation I'd gladly throw it in the Thames!'

‘About mine,' said Moy, ‘I feel it as a special personal gift from him, and if I returned it it would hurt his feelings.'

‘I wonder if Aleph will want to keep those diamonds!' said Sefton. ‘It is a bit pointed, isn't it, as if he were courting her!'

‘Has that only just occurred to you?' said Louise.

‘As if we, or she, could be bought? I doubt if he's thought of it.'

‘Then he is very naive!'

‘Perhaps he is naive. Moy thinks he is.'

‘I don't know what I think,' said Moy, ‘I like him – '

‘In spite of his being so nasty to Clement?'

‘But perhaps he's dangerous, I think he could be.'

‘You mean dangerous to Lucas,' said Louise.

‘We've kept Lucas out of it so far,' said Sefton, ‘I mean
we
have – '

‘I shall go and see him,' said Louise.

‘You mean see Lucas?'

‘Yes.'

‘Don't,' said Sefton,
‘don't.'

‘Are you frightened of him,' said Moy, ‘or do you think we'd just make things worse?'

‘I think we should do
nothing'
said Sefton, ‘but if something
must
be done let Louie ring up Clement.'

‘All right, all right! I'll ring him later!'

Louise left the kitchen and went upstairs. Sefton was about to go to her own room when Moy showed her a piece of paper which she had taken from her pocket.

‘What does it mean?'

‘
Virtuti paret robur.
Strength obeys virtue. I wish it were true!'

‘Hello Harvey, this is Emil.'

‘Oh Emil – good – good morning! How are you?'

‘I do not ring too early?'

‘No, no, I've been up for ages.'

‘Studying of course!'

‘Of course!'

‘So I interrupt your studies?'

‘No, no, not at all, I'm so glad to talk to you! Are you in Germany? Are you having a lovely time?'

‘Am I in Germany, yes. Am I having a lovely time, yes and no. And the cleaning lady, she has come?'

‘Oh yes, she has come, she's so nice, we have nice chats.'

‘Also she cleans?'

‘Also she cleans!'

‘And how is your beautiful mother?'

‘Oh she's all right, she's fine. I've invited her to tea today.'

‘You are a good boy. And you get on with your studies. And you have been comfortable in the flat?'

‘Your beautiful flat has been heaven to me. I thank you
so much
– '

‘Good, good. And your leg is better?'

‘No – I mean yes, it is.'

‘Is your mother soon going back to Paris?'

‘Oh yes, pretty soon – '

‘And you can now climb the stairs to your own flat to see her?'

‘Oh yes, yes – '

‘Good. Forgive my shortness. You know I abominate the telephone.'

‘Where are you now, are you in the mountains?'

‘No. I am in Berlin. Give my affectionate greetings to your dear mother.'

‘Yes, I will. How is Clive? Give him my best wishes.'

‘My wishes to Bellamy also. You see him?'

‘Well, yes, not just lately.'

‘Keep well, Harvey, be a good boy. I shall hope to see you soon, I will ring again soon. May God bless you.'

 

‘So he's kicking you out,' said Joan. It was midday and she was drinking gin. Harvey's ‘tea' had been an instinctive fiction.

‘Not in so many words. He asked if my leg was better.'

‘And you instantly said no, I'm afraid it isn't, I'm on crutches, walking is agony, thank heavens for your lift.'

‘No, I said it was better.'

‘You idiot! You lied! Clive is behind this. He thinks if you were still in the flat Emil might – '

‘And he asked if you were soon going back to Paris and I said yes.'

‘Only unfortunately I am not going back to Paris.'

‘Maman?
– !'

‘So you will have to find somewhere else to live.'

‘But I can't – why can't you go away – ?'

‘Why can't I go away? Tiresome dull old mother, why can't she go away? Why isn't she dead, the rotten old hag?'

‘
Maman,
don't start up, it's so
boring
.'

‘Nobody loves her.'

‘I love her. Oh do stop whining – '

‘I'm not
whining,
you little monster of selfishness. I am selling my flat in Paris, I can't go back there, I must stay here, I
want
to stay here. I have business here.'

‘What business? Can't you go and stay with Grandmama?'

‘She hates me. I think almost everybody hates me. Aren't you listening? I propose to stay in London. You must find somewhere to live, you must find a
job
.'

‘I can't find a job, no one can. Anyway I've got to study, I'm a student – '

‘Students are characters in operas. Well, why don't you go to Florence? You can walk now can't you? Why not just go?'

‘I can't walk. I've got to stay here for hospital treatment – '

‘Aren't there hospitals in Florence?'

‘And anyway I've told the people I can't come.'

‘You always despaired too soon. But they gave you a grant, didn't they?'

‘Yes, but it's cancelled, someone else has it now.
Please
don't talk about Florence.'

‘So what are you living on, I'm quite interested to know, who feeds you, who pays the rent of this mouldy little flat?'

‘Who do you think, who's always been paying? Lucas and Clement. Oh God, and just when I thought I was becoming independent!'

‘Independent! You think you'll just sail into the university next year and it's all found. Not a bit of it. It'll cost thousands to put you through three years of that, your so-called grant is pitiful, in fact now I come to think of it it's a loan, and the government is cutting it too. Lucas and Clement have been supporting you for years, you can't blandly expect them to go on forever. Anyway Clement is out of a job, he hasn't saved anything. He's nearly bankrupt, and Lucas is absolutely unpredictable. I can't help you, I haven't got any money. You'll have to begin helping me.'

‘But
maman,
I thought you had this grand job in the fashion house.'

‘It was never grand and now it isn't a job. I have nothing to sell except myself. You don't know it, but I've supported you for years by selling myself.'

‘Oh don't be
silly
! I suppose you'll get some money for the flat – '

‘How selfish you are, how thoughtless! I'll be reduced to Humphrey Hook in the end.'

‘By your imaginary friend you mean drugs or
that
! You are just tormenting me, please stop.'

‘You call that torment? As for living somewhere, couldn't Louise put you up?'

‘Where, in the garden shed?
Maman
dear, come back to reality.'

‘Yes, better not. You must marry a rich girl, not one of those penniless princesses. And they are no better than your sisters by now. What about Clement? You could sleep on the sofa. You aren't becoming gay, are you?'

‘No!'

‘I sometimes thought Emil fancied you, or poor Bellamy of course – '

‘
Maman
, look, be serious – '

‘Serious? I'm desperate.'

‘You say you have business here. What is it?'

‘My own business. I mean I want to consider my future. I want to talk to my old friends. Can't you understand that?'

‘Yes, that seems sensible. Who are they?'

‘Well, Jeremy Adwarden.'

‘Oh, him.'

‘Yes, him. Also Tessa (oh, her), Louise of course, Clement, Lucas, Cora, Emil – '

‘All right, I see, the old gang, yes – '

‘Well what did you expect?'

‘If them, why Lucas and why not Bellamy?'

‘Bellamy has no sense.'

‘Neither has Cora. What the hell. I've decided I must go and see Lucas.'

‘Really? I advise you not to. He doesn't like you.'

‘How do you know? That's what worries me. I don't like not being liked. I want to make peace with him.'

‘What about?'

‘Oh nothing. And now there's this other business with Peter Mir.'