She kept shaking her head, unable to take the pain of sharing the truth.
“You called your brother. You didn’t get behind the wheel yourself. That was the right thing to do.”
Abby couldn’t respond.
“Is that why you’ve done all this?” He let her free of his embrace and she fell back into the chair. Nate stepped back to his seat and waited.
Abby stared at the carpet as the tears dropped off her chin. She wiped her face. “When I finally woke up in the hospital and Mom and Dad sat at the side of my bed and said that Denny was dead, I couldn’t tell. Mom’s eyes were so red and swollen. I knew she’d been crying for days. Dad could barely even look at me. But they kept hugging me and saying how grateful they were that I was alive. I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t bear to have them hate me.”
“They wouldn’t have—”
“They would have blamed me. They had a right to. It was my fault. Nate, he was in that car because of me. We didn’t see that man speeding toward the red light because of me!”
Nate tried to speak again but she cut him off. “But I couldn’t tell. I just didn’t know what to do. And I tried to think about Denny. What would he do? He wanted to be a lawyer, like dad. Dad loved that. I thought maybe I could give him that. Maybe make him proud, maybe make Denny proud. The next year I signed up for debate. It made them so happy. I quit singing. I got serious about school. It seemed like every time I made a decision based on what Denny would have done, it helped.”
“You’ve been trying to live his life.”
“Doing a great job too, aren’t I?”
Nate smirked and shook his head. It reminded her of Denny. “Is there anything you like about being a lawyer?”
Abby didn’t answer right away and Nate laughed. She had to smile too. “I’m thinking!” She wiped the tears. “Actually, I’ve enjoyed a few things. When I feel like I’m helping people, I like that. But most of the time, it’s just a lot of game-playing. And none of this feels natural. It’s like I’ve been playing a part.”
“Is that why you say your boyfriend didn’t know you?”
Abby nodded. “We were engaged. Did I tell you that?” She didn’t wait for the response. “I loved him. I still love him. But you can’t marry someone if you’re not going to really let them in. I couldn’t do it. I was too afraid. He used to prosecute DUIs for Christ’s sake! He was always telling me stories. How could I tell him that I was one of those stories? That I was—”
“Abby, look at me.”
She did.
“We all make mistakes. But Denny wouldn’t want you living his life. He was so proud of you.”
“There wasn’t anything to be proud of. I was a fuck-up.”
“He thought you were awesome. He thought you were talented. Abby, you’ve got to forgive yourself.”
This was so unexpected. All these years, Abby had been sure she knew what people would think of her if they knew the truth. But here was Nate. He hadn’t yelled. Hadn’t even gotten mad. It was overwhelming. It felt good to finally be free of all the secrets.
“I couldn’t go through with it, Nate. The wedding. I kept putting it off. Kept putting the job first. David got sick of it. Sick of me. I couldn’t blame him, but I just couldn’t choose him, you know?”
He obviously didn’t know.
“I had to choose Denny.”
They sat in silence for several minutes.
“Abby, thank you for telling me.”
She stared into the flames, watching them dance and hiss and crackle. She watched the smoke rise up the chimney. She felt lighter. “Thanks for not hating me, Nate.”
“Abby.”
She looked at him then. At his warmth and ease.
Nate leaned forward and smirked like he had a secret. “You know, Abby, maybe all this happened for a reason. I mean, it’s pretty random that we found each other after all these years. Everything that’s happened to you in the last month is pretty random. Maybe Denny had something to do with it.”
She smiled at the thought of her brother pulling strings from above. She took a deep breath. It was finally over.
TWENTY-EIGHT
MARCUS
was dressed, sitting in the corner, waiting. The sun was coming up and filled the room with light. Duvane burst through the door.
Marcus stood immediately. “Thank God. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
“Doctors gave you the all clear, right?”
“Yes, yes. I’ll be fine. We need to find Callahan.”
“On that note, I have a surprise.”
“What?”
“Come with me.”
THEY
arrived at the eleventh district station house and went to the second floor—to the viewing room adjacent to the interrogation room. There, behind the glass, sat Reilly. Hunched over, with his head on the table, sleeping.
“What time did you get him?”
“It was about nine o’clock last night. He was spotted in the evidence room, going through the stuff from the Rashid murder-suicide case. I had him held. After a few hours, he fell apart. Told me everything.”
“Well, let’s go.”
Duvane and Marcus entered the room together and Marcus emptied the contents of a folder on the table. Reilly’s wallet, phone, and keys fell to the table. Reilly woke from the noise.
Duvane started. “Pick up that phone and call Callahan. Speaker phone. Find out where he is.”
Reilly’s nerves were shot. Marcus didn’t have time for any games. “Whatever he told you to do, say it’s done. Your only shot at not going away for all of Callahan’s crimes is full cooperation.”
Reilly dialed the phone. They all listened to the ringing. Callahan picked up on the second ring. He was obviously groggy.
“Uh, hey, Trip. Hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Mike, what the hell? I called you like ten times last night. What’s the status?”
“You’re good. I put a report in the system for your car. Said that you reported it stolen at noon.”
“And the girl? Is she dead?”
Reilly looked at Marcus, who nodded. “Yeah.”
“What about that big fucker that was with her?”
Marcus smiled. He wanted to rip the phone from Reilly’s hand and spew venom at Callahan, but he controlled himself and gestured the correct answer.
“Dead too.”
“And what about all those squad cars at the motel—what was that about?”
“Some drug bust.”
“Well, that’s good news.” His voice cleared like he was waking up. “We’re good, baby!”
Reilly continued. “I need out, Trip.”
Callahan didn’t respond.
“Trip, come on. You don’t need me anymore. I did what you asked. You’re covered for yesterday. Just give me back my gun.”
“Mikey, relax.” There was a pause then.
Reilly looked at the phone like maybe Callahan had hung up.
They heard Callahan talk to someone in the background. The voices were muffled. It sounded like he said he’d be right down.
Finally, Callahan spoke into the phone again. “Mikey, you there? Okay, we’re done. I’ve got enough buildings at this point. Business is good. I don’t have time for this bullshit.”
Reilly opened his mouth to respond.
“But I’m not giving you that gun. That’s my insurance. I’m not an idiot.”
“Fine.” He looked up at Marcus and Duvane. Marcus motioned him to keep talking.
“Take care of yourself, Mikey.” The phone went dead.
Marcus was busting. “You didn’t ask him where he was!”
“It would have been a giveaway. He would have known.”
Duvane broke in. “He’s right, Marcus. But here’s the good news. He should feel perfectly safe. Totally covered. We’ll stake out his office, his properties, his apartment. The moment he surfaces, we’ve got him.”
“But meanwhile, Abby’s living in limbo. And what about the press? If a reporter got the E.R. reports from last night, this would be a story. We need to nail this guy now.” Marcus grabbed Reilly by the collar and forced him up to face him. His feet practically came off the ground. “Where do you think he’d be?”
“I don’t know! I’m sure I don’t know half the shit Callahan was into. Maybe he’s got a girl.”
“Did he have any properties out of town?”
“Not that I know of.”
Unsatisfied with Reilly, Marcus tossed him away and slammed his fist against the wall. Reilly stumbled back and tripped over the chair. No one spoke.
“Oh shit. Yes! Duvane, let’s go!” Marcus was already heading for the door.
Duvane followed. “What is it?”
“His parents. They live in Lake Forest. Sounded like he said he’d be right down. As in, he’s on the second floor…of a house? It’s breakfast time.”
Reilly stood there, clearly wondering if he had any hope. “What about me?”
Marcus didn’t even turn around. “You’re busy.”
They left the room and instructed the officer outside the door to confiscate his things again and guard the room.
· · ·
THE
morning sun streamed through the windows. Abby woke feeling surprisingly well rested. She looked around at the spacious and meticulously decorated room and took in the view out back—the big pile of construction debris, partially tarped and covered under a fresh blanket of snow, the patio directly below her, the large yard surrounded by a new cedar picket fence, and beyond the fence, the thick blue line across the horizon—Lake Michigan. Even without her glasses, it was a breathtaking property.
She wanted to stay here forever. No stress, no memories, no fear. It was like it all washed away. She felt lighter. Almost like the last few weeks had just been a bad dream.
Finally, she felt free. Free of the weight of her secret. And it was okay. Nate knew everything and he still loved her. Maybe everything did happen for a reason. Maybe Denny really did want her to live her own dreams. She had the sudden urge to tell her parents the whole story. They might blame her, but now she wasn’t sure.
Maybe she could even come clean to David. What must he be thinking? She wondered if he’d seen her e-mail yesterday. What a relief to learn that David actually drove her home from the wedding. She wondered what they’d talked about. More questions filled her head. The end of that evening was still a haze. If she could just tell him why she let him go, tell him how sorry she was, how much she had missed him. Maybe he’d react like Nate.
No. It didn’t matter now. David was engaged. He was happy. She couldn’t mess with that. She’d put him through enough.
Abby fell back onto the bed and closed her eyes, exhausted. She had to end the charade. She couldn’t even worry about work. She’d probably messed that up too, but she didn’t care.
A baby started crying down the hall and Abby listened as Nate’s wife, Meg, soothed her. The sounds got louder and she could hear them go downstairs. She took a look in the big mirror above the dresser. She was a wreck, but there was little she could do to fix it.
ABBY
walked through the living room, now flooded with sunlight, and smelled the remnants of burned wood in the fireplace. She followed the sounds of Meg and the baby through the dining room off to the left. Straight ahead she saw the kitchen and heard Meg. She entered tentatively.
“Hello?” It felt so strange to meet this way. Meg was standing by the sink and the baby was in some sort of bouncing chair on the countertop watching her mommy.
Meg turned to Abby and immediately came to her with a big smile. “Hi Abby!” She pulled her in for a hug without hesitation. “Nate has told me so much about you. I couldn’t wait to meet you. I’m so glad you’re here.”
Something about her voice, the expression on her face, told Abby that she probably knew everything. Maybe not the whole Callahan mess, but certainly the Denny stuff. Abby didn’t care.
“I hope you don’t mind meeting me in such a weird way.”
“Oh please. I don’t care.” She spoke to the baby then. “Lizzy, this is Abby. Say ‘Hi Abby.’”
Abby said hi and reached for her tiny hand.
“Come on.” Meg turned, grabbed Lizzy and her bouncing chair, and Abby followed them to the large, round table by a giant bay of windows. The room was bright and filled with morning sun.
“I spend so much time in this house with this little terror,” Meg continued, as she carefully placed the baby and the chair on the table, “I’m just glad for some adult company. I’ve been on leave for four months. The only people I talk to are the workers and most of them don’t speak English.”
Meg seemed to be as laid back and easy going as Abby had imagined and hoped. “Nate mentioned that you’re doing some work here. It looks beautiful.”
“Thanks. We feel so lucky to have found it. The previous owners had lived here for sixty years. They took great care of it, but when we came to see it, it was like walking into a time machine. Nothing had been updated in like forty years. It was pretty funny.”
“Well, you’ve obviously already done this room,” Abby said, looking around at the sparkling stainless appliances.
“Yeah. We’re almost done with everything now. I’ve been working with this wonderful design firm. The woman has a great eye and she’s so easy to deal with. We’ve just got to finish the basement at this point.”