I put my ear buds in, cranked up my iPod and
tried to think of a strategy for my job hunt. The most important
thing was distance. I had to find something I could walk to. Most
days I had no car, so I couldn’t go further than I was willing to
go on foot.
When I got home, I stood in the living room
and looked out the front window. Gifford Street had a small amount
of retail but nothing super appealing. There was a video store with
an icky back room where creepers disappeared behind the curtain for
WAY too long. I didn’t even like renting videos at that place. I
could try the Convenient Mart, but the drunks liked to hang out in
front of the store and holler at everyone that went past. Yuck. Not
the best place for a teenage girl to work. My last option was a
fast food restaurant and a Mexican restaurant. I figured I would go
check them out.
I grabbed my coat and headed out the front
door. It was a short walk to the corner and then I had to cross the
street, being careful of the heavy traffic. The November air was
still somewhat pleasant. It hadn’t taken on the deep chill that was
just around the corner.
I pushed open the door to the Mexican
restaurant. El Faro. God, it looked like Mexico threw up in here.
Sombreros hung from the ceiling and large murals of Mexico City
were painted on the wall. None of the furniture, all painted a
variety of blues, yellows, oranges, and reds, seemed to match. But
at least it smelled good.
“Are you guys hiring right now?” I asked the
man standing behind the counter.
“No, sorry,” he answered in heavily accented
English. “We’ve had to let some people go lately, it’s been slow.
But good luck!”
I sighed and thanked him, heading back out
into the crisp air. Well I just blew fifty percent of my job
options. On to the fast food place. While I was a total fan of fast
food in general, I couldn’t really imagine cooking it. There was so
much grease. Yuck.
The lovely smell of burgers and fries hit me
as I walked in the door. I looked behind the counter and was
surprised to see an awful lot of gray-hairs working. What happened
to the fast food place being the job of teenagers everywhere? I
didn’t see one in there.
“Excuse me, are you hiring right now?” I
asked the grandma at the register. There were a few customers
chatting in the seating area behind me.
“No dear, I’m sorry. Looking for a job?” she
asked sweetly.
“Yeah, but I’m not having a lot of luck.”
“Well, I wish you the best and I hope you
find something. It’s tough out there right now.” She pulled a rag
out of her pocket and wiped down the counter.
“Thanks.”
Only two places and I had totally struck out.
I couldn’t believe there was nothing else nearby. That was the one
nice thing about the city, there were a lot more shops, more job
options. But no, thanks to suburban sprawl, there wasn’t much in
the way of jobs available in Slate Park. Shit.
I trudged home, defeated. What the hell was I
going to do to make money? There had to be something.
$$$
The next few days I searched high and low for
some form of employment. I even tried Cambridge as a last resort,
but all the jobs I found there either conflicted with my millions
of clubs or cheerleading or required me to have my own ride, or
both. I called families in Cambridge for nanny jobs I found in the
classifieds, but again, no car, no luck. I tried spreading my
search in Slate Park a little wider, but the closest place was
still a mile away and they weren’t hiring. I left my name with a
few people, telling them to keep me in mind if something came up.
But how soon would that be? And how soon could I really get a car
of my own with no money? It was all just very…bleak.
Dejected and thinking of what my life was
going to be like when I was forced to move back to the city, I
trudged down the steps to the apartment after school. I unlocked
the door and walked in. It was clean, something I still had to get
used to. I threw my keys on the kitchen table.
“
If I wasn’t rappin’ baby I would still be
ridin’ Mercedes
Chromin', shinin', sippin' daily
No rest until whitey pays me
Uh, now what y'all know bout them Texas
boys
Comin' down in candied toys, smokin' weed
and talkin' noise
We be big pimpin', spendin' cheese…”
Nando’s phone was talking to me. Jay-Z, I’m
listening! Okay, so maybe it wasn’t exactly Jay-Z, but one of his
boys. I needed cheese to spend. I grabbed the phone and saw
Javier’s name on it.
“Hello?”
“Ariceli? That you? Why you answerin’ Nando’s
phone? Put him on for me.” He sounded pissed.
“I’m sorry Javi, but Nando’s gone.”
“What the fuck? What do you mean he’s
gone?”
“Gone, split, left town, ran away. I don’t
know what else to tell you man—he’s gone. But he forgot his
phone.”
“Shit.”
“Why do you need him?” I asked even though I
was pretty sure I knew.
“Uh, it’s work related.”
“Work related? Uh huh. I get it. Look, Javi,
I know this is gonna sound weird, but do you, uh, have any work for
me?”
“Work? For you? Get the fuck outta here!
Ariceli, you do realize what kind of work I do, don’t you? A preppy
girl like you over at a good school ain’t gonna wanna do this kinda
work.” He laughed.
I swallowed hard. My heart was racing. What
the hell was I thinking? I needed money. If I was gonna stay at
Cambridge and get a shot at Northwestern, I really needed money.
What would they all say at school, after I got arrested like
Nando?
She was such a nice girl, never saw it
coming.
It happens to those Hispanics, you know,
they just can’t get away from the gangs and the drugs.
Such a shame.
Such a promising future.
But on the other hand, without this place, I
was a guaranteed loser. Back to the South Side. Back to Hell.
“I’m serious, Javi. I have my reasons. Can
you come here tomorrow and tell me what I’ve gotta do?”
“All right girl, but I gotta tell you, you
surprised the shit outta me. I’ll come by tomorrow and see if
you’re still interested. You sleep on it.”
“Okay,” I said, trying not to sound as
nervous as I felt.
“Oh, and if anyone calls Nando’s phone
tonight just tell them to call again tomorrow and we’ll take care
of them. Don’t tell anyone else he’s gone.”
“Okay.”
“See you tomorrow Ariceli.”
“Bye.”
I hit the end button and dropped the phone on
the table like it was on fire.
I sat down and stared at the phone. What
choice did I have? I couldn’t get a job close enough to walk to. I
had no car. My mom already worked two jobs and didn’t have the time
to get another one. My hands shook and my stomach churned, tempted
to send my lunch back to the surface in a volcanic fury. I wiped my
sweaty palms on my pants. I was just a kid. I didn’t know the first
thing about working, let alone doing something illegal.
I grabbed the phone and headed into my room,
in case anyone called. Mom wouldn’t be home until late and had to
be up early, so she wouldn’t even notice if it rang.
My eye stuck on the Northwestern application
lying on the bookcase. I picked it up and sat on the bed. Nando’s
phone was in my left had, the application in my right.
Northwestern. Illegal. Northwestern. Drugs. Northwestern. Green. I
needed the green. Without the green there was no Northwestern. No
Northwestern meant no future. No Charles Gibson. In order to get
the green I had to sell the green. If Nando could do it, I could do
it, and I could probably do it better. He was an idiot. Compared to
him, I was a rocket scientist.
I didn’t need to wait until tomorrow to
decide. If I wanted to get where I wanted to go, I had to be
willing to take a chance. I couldn’t depend on anyone else. But I
had to be smart about it. This had to be top secret. No one could
know. Mom would be easy, but I would have to lie to my best friend.
I would have to lie to lovely James. But would it be that much
different than I was doing now? Fake smiles, fake hair, fake
nails…so much about us was false, just a front. What they didn’t
know wouldn’t hurt them.
The next day felt like an eternity. I know
that sounds so cliché. But seriously, every time I looked at the
clock it was only one minute ahead from the last time I checked. I
was antsy and all the teachers were just blathering on about god
knows what.
“Ari, are you alright? You’re like, I don’t
know, like distracted or something,” Naomi said as we headed to the
gym for practice.
“I’m just tired. And a little sore still.” I
had sat out of practice the last two days. The ribs were better,
but were still a little tender.
“Ugh, so did you hear? Mandi Johansen asked
James out.” Naomi made a face and pulled on her gym shoe.
“What?! I mean, no, I hadn’t heard. He didn’t
say anything about it today in class.” Huh. Why wouldn’t he have
told me about it? And Mandi. Seriously? He could do SO much better.
Like me!
“Aw, honey, I’m sorry. How do you feel about
it?” I put on the caring friend face.
“Honestly, I thought I would be a lot more
pissed. But I wasn’t. I don’t know. I think we were really just
ready to be done. Seriously, I feel like a weight’s been lifted off
me or something.”
I exhaled after I realized that I’d been
holding my breath. Maybe she was finally over him. But now I’d gone
and lost my chance to damn Mandi Johansen. Bitch. See, she didn’t
have the whole best-friend-who-just-broke-up-with-James to worry
about. She owed Naomi no loyalty. But me, nooooo, I had to be the
good friend and totally miss the boat. Dammit.
That’s all right, I had my ideas. Maybe it
was time to turn it on a bit, see if I could steal him away from
Mandi. I certainly owed her nothing. She was stealing my man. She
didn’t know it yet, but she would. I bet if I would’ve gone to the
pizza place yesterday, I could have totally cock-blocked her. Or I
guess it would be vag-blocking.
Practice went a little quicker than I
thought. At least it kept me distracted from what I was going to be
doing later. After practice I walked out of Cambridge High. Shiny
and bright Cambridge High. Doorway to the future Cambridge
High.
I climbed on the one late bus that would take
me all the way to Slate Park and settled into my seat. I pulled out
my iPod, needing some music to help calm me down as my heart
started racing. Dr. Dre, Eminem, Jay-Z, Lil’ Wayne, Snoop. That’s
who I needed in my life right that second. People that understood
what it took to make it. Dirty, biting, clawing your way from the
bottom to the top. They weren’t just rappers, they had been there.
They knew what it was like to be me.
I trudged down the musty staircase to our
door. The apartment was silent—Mom was working as usual. I flipped
on a few lights to chase the shadows from the corners and checked
Nando’s phone. No calls yet. I went to the fridge to find something
to eat, even though my stomach twisted into nervous little
pretzels. I settled on a can of pop and figured maybe I would feel
like eating later. Maybe.
A loud knock echoed through the room and I
dropped the remote onto the coffee table with a clang. I pulled the
door open.
“Hey baby girl! How you doin?” Javier swept
in and pulled me into a hug. Awkward. He reeked of cologne. I
patted him lightly on the back and wrinkled my nose.
He strolled across the living room and
dropped onto the couch. I swallowed my thudding heart, which had
somehow managed to crawl into my throat.
“Man, it’s a hell of a lot cleaner in here
with Nando gone. That dude is such a fucking pig.”
“You’re telling me.”
“Hey, can I get a pop?”
“Sure.”
I grabbed another can from the fridge and
handed it to him I perched on the edge of the couch.
“Okay, so Nando’s gone. What happened?” He
popped the top and sank into the cushions.
I looked at Javier for a minute, not quite
sure if I should trust him, but then again, what did I care? Nando
was an asshole.
“Nando got arrested and skipped town because
they let him go and he freaked out.”
“Uh huh. Good move on his part actually.
Lucky for him he can trust me; I know Nando ain’t no snitch. But
the Big Boss, he don’t know Nando so well. No telling what he would
do if he heard about him being let go.”
He took a sip of pop and looked at me a
little closer.
“What the hell happened to you? I know it
wasn’t no fight at your preppy-ass school.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Nando. Apparently he didn’t like how I was
talking to him and he tried to choke me.” I pulled the scarf aside.
The bruises were a raging purple.
“Shit, Ariceli! That ain’t right.” His eyes
flashed. “If he does come back I think I might have to show him
what it’s like to get beat. My dad used to beat the hell out of my
mom and me. I don’t like fuckers that hit chicks.”
So not all dudes who sold drugs were as bad
as my asshole brother. I’d be happy to see Nando get his ass beat.
I blinked away a few hot, angry tears.
“He got pissed when I told him he never
helped out. Apparently he was giving my mom lots of money and
that’s how we were able to afford this place. I really didn’t know.
I tried looking for a job around here, but there’s not much that I
can do. I mean it’s either the shit-hole Convenient Mart or gross
video store and the restaurants aren’t hiring. All the other stores
are a couple miles away and I don’t have a car and we don’t have
busses, like in the city. I gotta do something, Javi. So, can you
hook me up with a ‘job’ or what?”
“What did you tell your mom about this?”
“That Nando left and didn’t say why and I got
all these bruises from falling at cheerleading. She bought it. I
told her I was gonna get a job. If we move from here I’ll have
nothing. I can’t transfer in the middle of the year. It could ruin
everything! Please?!”