Authors: Katie Ashley
“No, it’s a little more complicated than that.”
“I want to know,” he insisted.
I drew in a ragged breath and told Zach everything from start to finish, including everything with Lauren.
“Man,” he murmured. We stood in silence for a few moments while he processed everything. “So, Rafe and Elijah…are they angels too?”
I nodded. “Gabriel and Sophie, too.”
“So let me get this straight. You guys are a bunch of angels sent to earth in human form to save and protect lost souls?”
He bolted up and began pacing around the room. “This is insane! I mean, it sounds like something out of a Sci-Fi movie! I mean, it makes perfect sense when it comes out of your mouth, but when I try and process it, it’s crazy.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
He stopped in front of me. “How can it not be? Y-You’re not of this world, Cassie!”
I shook my head. “My heart beats just like yours, and my lungs take in the same air as you. I have the same emotions as you. I laugh, I cry, I get angry, and I love just like you do!”
Zach didn’t say anything. It was like he was silently processing things in his mind. I could almost see the wheels turning. “What about your wings?”
“They’re always concealed within us unless we have to physically intercede on someone’s behalf. They make us ten times stronger than in human form.”
“Is that why they came out? Because you had to save me?”
“I-I didn’t know what I would have to do. I mean, I thought I might have to fight Bruce to stop you.”
It took him a few minutes to find his voice again. “So you can appear and disappear right?”
I nodded.
“So you can spy on me?
I flushed at his implications. “No, no, we can only use it when we’re called by pain and suffering. We can’t just show up because we want too.” Relief flooded Zach’s face. In his silence, I put my hand over his. “It’s still me, Zach. I’m still your friend just like before.”
His expression broke my heart. “Then I’d just have to pretend my heart doesn’t belong to you.”
“What?” I gasped.
“Ever since that night I told you how I truly felt, I can’t be around you without imagining us together that way. I’ve tried to think about only Lauren—to try to feel about her the way I feel about you.” His head hung in defeat. “But I can’t”
“Zach—”
He held his hand up to silence me. “It’s useless, Cassie. I know I can’t be without you even as a friend because I can’t allow myself to
desire
someone who’s an angel!”
“So are you saying you can’t even be my friend anymore?”
His shoulder’s drooped in defeat. “I don’t know what anything is anymore.”
“I understand,” I lied.
“You and the others don’t have to worry. I won’t say anything about what happened.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he didn’t have to worry about that. After his memory was wiped, he wouldn’t remember anything about what had happened tonight in the morning.
But I would.
There would be no mind wiping for me, and I would be forever haunted by his profession of love and feeling like a failure at my mission.
He started for the window, but then he turned back. “I’ll never forget what you did for me and for my family, Cassie.”
I closed my eyes. “Zach, please don’t!”
“No, I need to say this,” he argued.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“You saved my life on two occasions, but you did so much more for me emotionally. You gave me my faith back, and you showed me how to love someone.” Zach paused as his voice cracked. “You made me a better man.”
He was saying good-bye like this would be the last time we were ever together—or at least
alone
together. That thought broke me. I could no longer fight the tears welling in my eyes. Blurring my vision, they stung to be released. Finally, they dripped down my cheeks while desperate sobs threatened to consume me. I knew I had no right to be angry or hurt with him. After all, I was the one who had deceived him. But at the same time, my heart, my
human
heart, was breaking.
Zach walked over to me. With his fingertips, he tenderly feathered the tears from my cheeks. “I will always care about you, and I’ll always want to be your friend. I just don’t think I can…there will always be a part of me that wants more.”
“I understand,” I replied.
He leaned in, his lips brushing softly against my cheek. His breath hovered there, hot and warm, before he jerked away. Without another word, he slipped out the window.
And he was gone.
He was free from the abuse that drove him to desperation and threatened his life. He had rebuilt the faith that death and bitterness stripped away, and he had learned to love someone with his heart and not his body—maybe even two people when it came to both Lauren and me.
And then my thoughts went to Lauren. Guilt once again lashed at my body like a whip. Everything positive I’d done for Zach seemed to pale in comparison when I looked at what I’d done to Lauren. I may not have done it to her face, but the fact I’d done behind her back was even worse. Somehow in the next few months I’d make it right for her—no matter what I had to do, or no matter how awful it made me feel.
All those thoughts swirled through my mind like an out of control tempest. Frozen where I was, there was little I could do but succumb to the storm as it crashed wave after wave against me.
Zach and Lauren were safe, and I was completely undone.
Chapter Thirty-Two: ELIJAH
It was Friday night, and Abby and I had our first semi-date together. As romantic as I wanted it to be, it turned out to be anything but. Abby saw Cassie moping around the house over what had happened with Zach—well at least what Abby was lead to believe about what happened to Zach—so she asked Cassie to come along with us. Then Rafe decided to come too, hoping that Chaz would come, but in the end, he’d been called into work.
We grabbed a quick bite to eat after the movie before heading home. We hadn’t gotten very far when Rafe inhaled sharply in the backseat. I glanced back at him in the rearview mirror.
Something was wrong.
Abby kept chatting to me, but I wasn’t listening. Instead, I focused on Rafe. His face contorted in agony, and he fought to catch his breath. Slowly, I concentrated on connecting with his pain. The vision started fuzzy at first until it flickered into an image before my eyes.
And it wasn’t good.
A party raged out of control. Music blared around couples dancing frantically. Alcohol bottles littered the floors. My eyes scanned the crowd until I saw Chaz. While others laughed and joked around him, his hazy eyes stared into space. Darkness hung around him, and I knew it was his grief over his mother. He’d been doing so well with his sobriety, but something so inconsequential like finding a note from his mom tucked into an old pair of jeans had sent him over the edge.
Three beers sat next to him on the floor. Downing them in quick succession did little to drown the ache in his chest. When hot tears welled in his eyes, he scrambled away from the others, not wanting to appear weak for crying. He burst out onto the deck and gulped in the night air. He glanced around and was thankful to find himself alone. Or at least he thought he was alone.
As Chaz gripped the deck railing, I could see he was trying to also get a grip on his emotions. A voice behind him made him jump. “What’s the matter?”
Chaz whirled around. To him the guy was a stranger, but I knew him all too well.
Lucius.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
Lucius’s dark eyes bore into Chaz’s, and he shook his head. “Call me crazy, but I don’t think you are.”
“Whatever,” Chaz replied, and then turned back to railing.
Lucius eased over to Chaz and pulled something out of his pocket. “You know, I got something here that’ll make you forget all your problems.”
Chaz turned and peered expectantly at him. “Is that right?”
“Oh yeah.” He held out his hand.
There were two or three red pills glistening in the porch light. “What is it?”
An evil grin spread across Lucius’s face. “Does it matter what it is? The only thing that should matter is what it
does
.”
“It really makes you forget?”
He nodded. “You won’t even remember your name after awhile. It’ll just be smooth sailing.”
Chaz gazed down at the pills again. I felt his chest ache as he reached over and grabbed up two of them. “I owe you one, man.”
Lucius grinned. “Just glad I could help, buddy.” He gave Chaz one last look, and then he turned and walked back inside the house.
When
Chaz popped the pills into his mouth and chased them with a long swig of beer, I wanted to scream, “NOOOOO!” Anything to stop him from what he was doing. But I couldn’t.
It was only a few moments before he started to feel funny. He jerked his hands off the deck railing and stared at them. They were clammy and sweaty. He wiped them on his jeans. The exertion caused him to stumble backwards.
The world around him began to spin. When he felt nauseous, Chaz turned to go inside. He stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom. His hands fumbled with the knob, and it took him a few seconds before he threw the door open.
His blurry vision focused on Gage Perkins and a girl making out. That was the last thing he saw before he passed out.
I glanced back at Rafe again. He needed to get to Chaz, but there was no way he could transport in the car, not with Abby with us. I continued focusing on his pain.
“Where is he?”
I asked in my mind.
Rafe said, “He’s two streets over. The fifth house on the right.”
No one in the car heard him but me and Cassie.
I nodded. When I reached the street, I made a sharp turn. “Hey, where are you going?” Abby asked.
“Oh, is this not our turn?” I asked, innocently.
She gave me a strange look. “Um, no, it isn’t. You were supposed to keep going straight to get back to our street, remember?”
I flashed a convincing grin. “Whoops! Guess I really do suck at directions.”
Before she could argue with me anymore, Abby leaned forward. “Hey, wait a minute. That’s Chaz’s jeep!” She pointed to a string of cars lining the street before slowly shaking her head. Her brows furrowed. “But he’s supposed to be working tonight. This is bad. Elijah, will you stop? I gotta go in and find him.”
“Um, okay,” I said. I pulled over behind a pick-up truck. We all tumbled out of the SUV before striding up the walkway. My body reverberated with the thump, thump, thump of the bass pumping through the windows.
Rafe didn’t bother knocking. He just pushed open the front door. I gasped at all the chaos around me.
“Why don’t we split up and try to find Chaz?” Abby shouted over the blaring music.
I didn’t respond. Instead, I looked over at Rafe. “Bathroom,” he mumbled under his breath. He started pushing and shoving people out of his way. Cassie and I followed close on his heels with Abby trailing behind us.
Just as we got to the bathroom, Gage Perkins came bounding out. “Oh God, Rafe. You gotta help me! Chaz just passed out, and I can’t get him to wake up. I don’t think he’s breathing!”
Rafe shoved past Gage and knelt down beside Chaz. A white substance oozed out of Chaz’s mouth.
Abby appeared in the doorway. “CHAZ!” she screamed. Before she could get to him, I pulled her back. “Let me go! I have help him!” she cried, thrashing against me.
Cassie turned to Gage, who stood pacing nervously in the doorway. “Will you take Abby and go call an ambulance?”
For a minute, he stood rooted to the floor. “Gage!” Cassie cried. He nodded and gently took Abby’s other arm.
“Come on, Abby,” he said.
“Chaz! Don’t you leave me!” Abby shouted, as Gage pulled her outside.
“Close the door,” Rafe instructed.
Cassie spun on her heels and quickly shut and locked it. “Is he going to be okay?”
I knelt down beside Rafe. When he turned back to me, his face was grim. “It doesn’t look good,” he replied, his voice barely a whisper.
Cassie’s mouth gaped open in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? We’re in some stranger’s bathroom watching as Chaz’s life slips away, and all you can say is ‘it doesn’t look good’” She shook her head wildly. “Guardians save lives, remember? Even
I
saved Zach’s life. Don’t tell me you two are just going to sit here resigned to the fact that Chaz is going to die!”
As I stared at Chaz’s lifeless body, I thought about Abby. I couldn’t let her suffer anymore. She’d already been through enough suffering for a lifetime. I had to do something.
“Rafe, what can we do?” I asked.
His troubled eyes peered into mine. “There’s so much poison. It’s too much for just me to take out. You guys… will have to help me.” He shuddered. “It isn’t easy. It’s going to hurt, and it’s going to leave us weaker.”