The Guild of Assassins (18 page)

Whether or not she shared the same feeling, she understood exactly how he felt.

She let out a breath.

“Yes, Gahang,” she said. “Me too.”

After the medical barracks, Mai left to attend to business in his office. Kara remained outside, striding along the grounds with unseeing eyes. It felt as if a burden had been lifted off her shoulders, and until it was gone she hadn’t fully realized how heavy it had been. She was
free
, truly and unconditionally, and could do anything she wanted with her future. She could now go back with Kyth and live at court, and perhaps even work her way up into the line of prospective brides for the royal heir. She could also return to the Guild and resume her rank – a prized fighter, royalty in her own right, and a hero to her people. The Majat Guildmaster was a powerful man indeed to grant her all these things in one very short conversation. The only thing now was to decide what she wanted – and for some reason she was finding the decision harder than anticipated.

When she had lived on a death roll, with a firm understanding that every day could be her last, she became used to giving in to immediate impulses, without thinking of the longer-term consequences. This mind set, as she now realized, drove her to continue her relationship with Kyth, which was enjoyable and meant so much to him, despite being aware that it couldn’t possibly end well. This same type of recklessness also drove her to explore her feelings for Mai, allowing herself the freedom she would have never considered if she hadn’t believed they were both going to die. And now, the choice that lay before her was really the choice between these two men. Except that, even if she decided to stay at the Guild, any possibility of a relationship with Mai was off limits. Had he remained a regular Diamond, they could at least engage in occasional physical closeness, provided that they never allowed it to progress to an emotional level – which of course may no longer have been possible. But the Majat Guildmaster was not permitted to have personal bonds of any kind, definitely not with one of his subordinates.

Kara was surprised to realize that this thought kept returning to her again and again. Whatever she thought she felt for Mai, having him in her life was not an option, and she would do best to forget all about it. She was choosing between staying with Kyth and exploring her feelings for him, or staying at the Guild and admiring Mai from afar, like the rest of the Guild members. The first choice also involved trying to become someone else, fitting into a court life she had no idea about. The second, loveless choice, meant resuming the life she had been born to and learning to fully accept all its privileges and limitations.

One way or the other, it all narrowed down to Kyth. Did she love him enough to renounce what she was? Or did her rank in the Guild mean so much to her that she was willing to leave him behind?

Unwittingly, her feet brought her to the upper guest quarters, a low stone building with luxurious apartments inside that housed important visitors. She took a deep breath and made her way inside.

Kyth was sitting at a desk, buried in a pile of books and scrolls. His face lit up as he saw her, and when he rose to meet her she saw him shiver as he looked searchingly into her face.

“I am so glad you are alive,” he breathed out. Then he stepped forward and swept her into his arms.

She relaxed against him. It was good to see him this way, after the painful days when he had looked at her with a hurt expression that made her quiver every time she met his gaze. It was good to know that he had finally forgiven her for what she had done and to realize from his welcome that the option of staying with him was open to her if she wanted it. He still loved her, that was clear. But how did she feel about him?

His hands caressed her and she gave in to it, searching for the feeling his touch used to evoke in her before. She felt strange that despite everything they had, she couldn’t even fully relax in his arms, as if their previous closeness had never happened. It almost seemed that if she were to explore her feelings for him, she would have to start all the way back at the beginning of their relationship, when he, a naive boy, had worked so hard to break through her armor of a trained fighter and reach the woman inside.

His lips brushed hers, asking for a kiss. She hesitated. After everything that had happened, she wasn’t sure she was ready. She needed more time.

She turned away, kissing his cheek instead, and glanced past his shoulder at the desk.

“What’s all this?”

He held her for a moment longer, then dropped his hands and stepped away, hope in his eyes mixing with disappointment.

“I am preparing for the upcoming negotiations. I am supposed to read up on protocol, so that I can hold myself well enough to convince the Majat to accept our alliance.”

She shook her head. “I’m sure Mai’s head is in the right place about this. He wants the Kaddim destroyed as much as you do.”

A shadow ran across his eyes at the mention of Mai’s name.

“I’m not sure if I would rather have negotiated with your old Guildmaster.”

She sighed. “Useless to think about it now. Besides, if you had negotiated with Aghat Oden Lan, it would have meant that I was dead.”

He nodded, his shiver telling her how relieved he felt. She swallowed a lump, something that happened to her far too often these days.

How could she possibly hesitate, when this sweet, innocent man with a pure heart offered himself to her so unconditionally? Mai’s closeness had confused her, but their brief and crazy relationship was over, with no possibility of return. She belonged here, with Kyth, didn’t she? She
wanted
it to be this way, she realized. If she could rediscover her feelings for Kyth it would make her life so easy, offering her a safe haven of happiness, now that the threat of her Guild’s wrath was no longer looming over her. Why couldn’t she just settle for it? Why did the memory of her
other
feelings, the ones that weren’t meant to be, keep haunting her even in another man’s arms?

A creak of the opening door interrupted her thoughts. Magister Egey Bashi strode in, with Lady Celana in his wake. The royal lady’s eyes flicked with swift displeasure that forced Kara to step away from the Prince even before she could give it any thought.

Egey Bashi greeted her with a quick nod. “Glad to see you well, Aghat – and congratulations on yours and Aghat Mai’s brilliant victory. It was a sight not to be forgotten and such a relief to us all that it ended so well.”

“Thank you, Magister,” she said, wondering at how, despite her relief that things had turned out so well, she was having such trouble getting rid of an emptiness in her chest. She knew that long and strenuous battles often took a while to recover from. This was all it was, she told herself firmly. It had to be.

“Time to head for your negotiations, Your Highness,” Egey Bashi said to Kyth. “Everyone’s waiting.”

Kyth nodded, picking up his coronet and royal cloak. Kara followed him, falling in stride with the Keeper, in his wake.

“I wonder if I should be there,” she said quietly.

Egey Bashi shrugged. “You’ll be there, Aghat, whether or not you are in the room. I just hope both of them can look past it and focus on the more important things.”

Kyth knew that the Majat Guildmaster normally received visitors in his study, in the tower at the edge of the Inner Fortress. He was surprised when they were led a different way, through a gated archway, into an ornate stone building on the other side of the plaza.

The large hall inside rivaled the King’s throne room in its age and grandeur. Walking over the flagstones toward the group waiting for them at the other end, Kyth realized that, in a way, this
was
a throne room. In this Fortress, as well as in the outside lands, the Majat Guildmaster had at least as much power as a king.

Kyth frowned as he walked. Ever since assuming his station, Mai had been running things on a grand scale, like a carefully prepared show. While Kyth supposed it was important for a new commander to assume his position with a certain ceremony, he had a feeling that Mai was enjoying all this glamor perhaps a bit too much.

Mai received the Crown Prince seated, with Master Abib and several senior Majat standing at the sides of his tall, massive chair. Kyth saw Mai’s eyes narrow when he noticed Kara in his suite, and he couldn’t help feeling just a bit smug about it. She had fulfilled her obligation to Mai by standing at his side through his difficult battle. And now, this man couldn’t possibly have any claim to her.

Kyth stopped five paces away from the chair, bowing to the exact extent he believed was warranted by protocol.

“Aghat Mai,” he said formally.

“Prince Kythar.” Mai’s eyes bore into him, and Kyth imagined a touch of quiet challenge in his gaze.

He had gone through an extensive talk with Egey Bashi that afternoon on how, in this conversation, he should dismiss any thoughts of their personal rivalry, but he couldn’t possibly help it. Mai was a showoff and a ruthless man, with no respect for anyone who did not share his rank. He was also a man who could seduce a woman for sport and use her to his own ends. Kyth swallowed this last thought, glancing at Kara standing a few steps behind.

Kyth knew that Mai was aware of his exact mission, but he now realized that this man was not going to make it easy by facilitating the conversation. Kyth had to go through all the formalities with no help whatsoever from the other side, and embarrass himself to the full if he missed any of the protocol details. Not that he expected it to be any other way.

Kyth lifted his chin.

“Guildmaster,” he said. “My father, King Evan, has sent me here in the hope that we can forge an alliance between the Majat Guild and the kingdom of Tallan Dar in our fight against the Kaddim. This request is backed by Magister Egey Bashi of the Order of Keepers,” he indicated Magister Egey Bashi, “Lady Celana of the Royal House Illitand, and Alder, the emissary from the Forestlands.”
And Ellah, the truthseer who will see right th
r
ough your scheming.
He glanced at his friend, standing quietly at Egey Bashi’s side. Mai knew she was a truthseer, which somewhat reduced the advantage they’d hoped for when they originally planned the negotiations with the old Guildmaster. Still, Kyth willed this man to tell a lie. Ellah would see right through it, and she would signal him as she stood there with her hand resting against her thigh. If he was telling the truth, she would hold out one finger. If a lie, two.

Mai’s eyes slid over Kara again. Kyth was willing to bet the man was wondering why she was here as part of his suite, and he couldn’t help letting out a small smile of triumph.
She is mine
, his eyes told Mai.
Not yours.

Mai leaned back in his chair.

“As I’m sure you are aware, Prince Kythar,” he said, “the Majat Guild has retained its high standing through the centuries by maintaining full political neutrality. A formal alliance between the Majat and your kingdom is impossible.”

“
Impossible
?” Kyth’s eyes widened. Hadn’t this man learned diplomacy? Didn’t he know that even in the heat of an argument an ambassador should never be met with a straight rejection?

Mai held his gaze, an annoying smile playing on his lips. “Through the entire history of our Guild, the Majat has formed no alliance with anyone. Doing so would violate everything we are.”

“But…” Kyth continued to look at him in disbelief. Was Mai going to throw away everything? Had they traveled here in vain?

He struggled to steady his voice.

“The Kaddim are your enemies too,” he said.

Mai nodded. “Yes. And we intend to deal with them, I assure you. On our terms.”

“On your terms?” Kyth still couldn’t believe what was happening. In a few words Mai was destroying everything they had been fighting for. He
knew
what was at stake, didn’t he?

“Yes,” Mai said, seemingly undisturbed. “The Majat will deal with the Kaddim the way we believe is warranted. You may join our forces, if you wish, but it must be done under our command.”

“Your command.”

“Yes.”

Kyth took a breath. Was Mai out of his mind? For Shal Addim’s sake, Kyth had saved him from the Kaddim, once. Had he forgotten?

“You know, Aghat Mai,” he said, “that I am the only one who can resist the Kaddim power.”

Mai smiled. “That is hardly true, Prince Kythar. I can resist it too. As well as Aghat Kara.” His eyes hovered on her again, and Kyth saw a brief expression of regret in his gaze. Was he feeling sorry he couldn’t force himself on her again
in the heat of a fight
?

Kyth forced down his racing thoughts. This was exactly what Egey Bashi had warned him about. He was here as an ambassador, and ambassadors had to distance themselves from personal feelings when conducting a negotiation.

“I can protect others from their power, Aghat Mai,” Kyth said. “Before you acquired your… resistance to them,”
because of your feelings for her,
“I was the one who protected you, once. If I remember, you even mentioned that you felt indebted to me after that time, didn’t you?”

He saw Egey Bashi by his side shift uncomfortably from foot to foot and realized that he must have said something inappropriate. But he was
right
, wasn’t he?

Mai glanced at him calmly.

“You remember correctly, Prince Kythar,” he said. “I am in your debt. However, this personal debt does not extend to the lives of my men.”

“If we march against the Kaddim together, I can
protect
your men.”

Mai held his gaze, and this time Kyth definitely caught the expression of irony.

“I know of the current extent of your ability in some detail, Prince Kythar. So far, you can protect
one
man. The rest is theory, and I cannot stake my men’s lives on a theory, can I?”

Kyth took a step back. All around him people were shifting and exchanging glances. He was aware that somehow he had messed things up, but he had no idea what to do now. Worse, he didn’t want to appear as if he was looking for advice from anyone. Mai was talking entirely on his own, and the men of his suite hadn’t even changed their positions since the negotiations started. Was Kyth any worse?

“So,” he said, “you will only agree to join forces if we surrender ourselves to your command?”

“Yes,” Mai said.

“But…” Kyth began, but paused as he saw Egey Bashi by his side briefly lower his head and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Perhaps, Prince Kythar,” the Keeper said, “we can reconvene these negotiations at another time? I feel it might be prudent to give it a day or two. With Aghat Mai’s permission, of course.” He glanced at the Majat group.

Mai’s gaze hardened. “At any time, my answer will be the same, Magister. The Majat will not act as part of an alliance or join forces under anyone’s command. If Prince Kythar wants our help, he must surrender to our terms.”

Kyth continued to stare. He was aware that diplomats were not supposed to swear and storm out of negotiations, but this was exactly what he felt like doing. Mai clearly had no intention of helping, and there was nothing he could do about it. The only thing Kyth couldn’t understand was why Mai had insisted on this charade in the first place, and brought them into this formal audience hall – unless, of course, his only purpose had been to embarrass Kyth and show him his place. Knowing the man, Kyth wouldn’t put such a motive beneath him.

He glanced around at his followers, noting Ellah holding out one finger to indicate that Mai was telling the truth, and Kara standing so still that she appeared like a statue.

In the ensuing silence Lady Celana’s voice rang clearly like a bell.

“If I remember correctly, Prince Kythar,” she said, “the only way the Majat Guild can ever be forced into unconditional cooperation is through the Ultimate Challenge. Such a thing has never happened before, but if one were to challenge the Guild and win, the Majat would have no choice but to follow.”

Kyth stared. “The Ultimate Challenge?”

She nodded. “Much like the one issued by Aghat Mai just a short time ago. A fight to the death against the entire Guild.”

Kyth’s eyes widened. He knew that, for some reason, Lady Celana seemed to hold him in high regard. But to suggest that he could issue an Ultimate Challenge and fight the entire Majat Guild to the death?

“Do you believe, my lady,” he asked slowly, “that I would be able to stand up to such a challenge?”

She smiled. “You don’t have to fight them yourself, Your Highness. You can choose a champion to fight in your stead.” Her eyes briefly flicked to Kara.

Kyth’s skin prickled. What she was suggesting was devious. Yet, this did give him a way to get out of this situation without losing face. Kara was a worthy champion, one Mai would consider a threat. And given that she was the one who put him in command, given his
feelings
for her, he would surely do everything possible to avert this fight?

Kyth glanced at Mai, noticing with satisfaction how the man was sitting very still, his eyes focused on Kyth as if he were a snake about to strike. It was captivating to see this wary expression in Mai’s eyes that bordered on fear.
Didn’t think I c
ould
do anything against you, eh?

“By the rules,” Lady Celana continued calmly, as if oblivious to the tension, “your champion cannot be an active member of the Majat Guild. There are no other restrictions.”

Kyth’s skin prickled as he turned and met Kara’s gaze. She gave him a barely perceptible nod.

Kyth drew himself up.

“Aghat Mai,” he said. “I wish to issue an Ultimate Challenge to the Majat Guild. If I win, the Guild must promise unconditional support in our war with the Kaddim. I choose Kara as my champion.”

Mai’s eyes narrowed. His gaze darted to Lady Celana and rested briefly on Magister Egey Bashi. He did not look at Kara at all, and the way his glance excluded her made Kyth’s heart quiver. What had he done?

“If you lose,” Mai said. “She will die.”

Kyth swallowed. “I know.”

Mai slowly relaxed his shoulders and finally turned to Kara.

“You can refuse,” he said. “If you do, I will allow Prince Kythar to withdraw his challenge, given that you probably did not have a chance to discuss this plan with the Prince in any detail.”

She lifted her chin.

“I accept, Aghat Mai. I will champion Prince Kythar’s cause.”

Mai went so still that for a moment he appeared inanimate.

“Why?” he asked quietly.

She looked at Mai with such deep regret that Kyth’s heart quivered again.
What have I done…?

“I believe, Aghat Mai,” Kara said, “one way or the other this alliance must happen. If you and Prince Kythar cannot agree on the terms, I see no other choice. I believe it is the right thing to do.”

Mai nodded. His eyes became glassy.

“Very well. The challenge will take place tomorrow morning at the main arena. I will not restrict your whereabouts before that time and will grant you access to all the Guild’s resources. You may prepare in any way you wish.”

Kara nodded, watching him with wide eyes. Everyone else turned to Kyth, as if expecting something.

He shook off his stupor.

“I believe there is nothing else to be said, Aghat Mai. So, if you have no further words for me, I wish to take my leave.”

Mai nodded, his expression distant as if he was deep in thought. Kyth had never seen him like this. Not that he gave a damn.

He turned and strode out of the room, with his companions in his wake.

“I did not think Aghat Mai would accept,” Celana said quietly as she fell into stride next to Kyth in the outside courtyard.

Kyth looked at Kara, walking on his other side. Her lips twitched as she turned to Celana.

“For once, my lady, you underestimated him. He always does what he believes is right.”

“But in this case…” Lady Celana’s glance at Kara told Kyth how deeply she understood the emotions involved.

“He is protecting the entire Guild,” Kara said. “Regardless of his personal feelings, he cannot stake everyone’s lives to save mine.”

Celana raised her eyebrows. “But if you knew he would do that, why did you agree to be the champion?”

Kara sighed. “It seemed to me the negotiations had reached a standoff. I believe in this alliance, and despite my utmost respect for Aghat Mai’s judgment, I don’t think he is giving it a chance. I am hoping my actions will prompt him to give it another try.”

“You think he will call off the fight?”

Kara didn’t respond, and Kyth’s heart sank as he looked at her distant expression.

“Do you think you can win this challenge?” Kyth asked quietly.

She shrugged. “Only one way to find out. We didn’t leave Mai with many choices. I know one thing for sure. If he decides to go through with the challenge, he will do everything in his power to win.”