The Guild of Assassins (29 page)

The festivities took the form of a state dinner, at which Mai was offered the honor place at the head of the table on the King’s right, next to Mother Keeper. Egey Bashi settled for a place down the line on the left, a few seats away from Kyth, who would have looked out of place at the high table if it wasn’t for Lady Celana by his side, radiant and seemingly determined to keep the Prince company. Egey Bashi was relieved at the way the Prince laughed at her jokes, his cheeks actually lighting up with color as she threw some of her admiring glances at him. He knew that Kyth’s heart wound was deep, but watching the scene he could imagine a recovery, and a speedier one than originally seemed possible.

Egey Bashi realized that with the deep understanding Kyth had for Kara, with the remarkable empathy the Prince showed for everyone he cared for, he was likely able to see the obvious, no matter how much it hurt him. Kara and Mai were meant for each other. Forcing them apart was impossible on so many levels that no one should even consider it seriously. Kyth was bound to understand that in the end, and Egey Bashi was glad that the Prince not only had, but was prepared to move on in due time.

From his own experience the Keeper realized that it was impossible to stop loving someone who had been your whole world, as Kara had been for Kyth. This kind of love never went away. But it was possible to find another place in your heart for someone else, who could bring you comfort and match with you in different ways. He was confident that, given time, Kyth would find the happiness he deserved.

Egey Bashi tore his eyes away from the Prince, surveying the rest of the gathering. Father Bartholomeos and his priests took the entire left side of the high table, opposite the Diamonds and Rubies from Mai’s retinue. The other Majat could be seen further down the table, but no matter how hard Egey Bashi looked, he couldn’t find a very important member of their group. Kara was not sitting anywhere at the high table. In fact, as Egey Bashi searched further, he realized she wasn’t in the room at all. He had no doubt she had been invited, and had been offered a place of honor next to her fellows in rank, not in the least because her participation had been so instrumental in realizing all their plans.

His heart quivered. Unlike Kyth’s, Kara’s heart wound might take some interference, and he hoped he knew the remedy. He also knew he had to hurry. Kara was unlikely to be inactive for long. With her training and resolve, Egey Bashi was sure she would not delay taking matters into her own hands, and not in a good way – simply because she likely believed her happiness was impossible. In fact, he felt he could do more good if he left the table and looked for her right now, but he couldn’t leave just yet without offending the King, so he tried to distract himself by watching the interactions around the high table.

By now he should have stopped feeling surprised every time he saw Mai embrace yet another aspect of his new role as naturally as if it were his birthright, but he couldn’t help reflecting on it once again. Mai had spent four years at the King’s court in servitude, present at all the official functions only in his role of bodyguard. And now, only weeks later, he looked so natural as an equal by the King’s side, easily supporting the conversation that contained enough politics and etiquette to overwhelm most men groomed into such posts. This seemed especially surprising given that Mai was easily half the King’s age and possessed no known ancestry or the upbringing of a noble. Some things in life just worked out, and this was one of its most amazing examples.

By the time dessert was served, Egey Bashi felt he couldn’t wait any longer. He made his excuse to his neighbors, scowling in response to Mother Keeper’s ironic gaze as he hastily retreated through the large double doorway.

The castle seemed emptier than usual, and became all but vacant as he reached the outer hallways. Strange, how every servant and courtier gravitated toward the festivities even when they had other things to do.

Speeding through the blessedly deserted passages, Egey Bashi found his way outside into the Majat training grounds. He was certain he would find Kara here, but, despite looking very carefully, he nearly missed her. She was sitting by the wall in the corner of the main training platz, hugging her knees pulled up to her chest, so still that she looked like one of the carved stone ornaments protruding from the wall.

As Egey Bashi approached, her striking violet eyes surveyed him with a calmness that he knew had been carefully put into place to conceal the turmoil inside.

“Mind if I join you, Aghat?” he asked.

She nodded, but didn’t move, her eyes watching the Keeper warily as he lowered onto the paving stones by her side.

“I was surprised not to see you in the King’s dining hall,” he said.

She shook her head. “I know I was supposed to be there, Magister, but I just wasn’t in the mood. I hope my absence didn’t cause any problems.”

The Keeper sighed. “I know Aghat Mai, among others, would have liked to see you there.”

The quick smile that slid over her lips looked bitter.

“I’m not part of his official suite.”

Egey Bashi turned toward her, watching her intently.

“I heard you could be, if you decided to. He made his offer for you to return to the Guild very public.”

She lowered her eyes. “He was most kind. No other Guildmaster would ever have done a thing like that for me.”

Egey Bashi slowly shook his head. “I’m sure neither of us should pretend that he is like any other Guildmaster. Nor could you possibly ignore the fact that there is very little Aghat Mai wouldn’t do for you.”

Her shoulders stiffened.

“I’ve always valued your tact, Magister, but I heard that, on occasions, you’ve demonstrated surprising resolve in prying into people’s personal feelings. If you feel inclined to do this to me, I hope you can choose a better time.”

Egey Bashi shook his head.

“I hope, Aghat,” he said, “that in addition to my reputation as a meddler, you might also have heard at least something about my skill as a healer. Sometimes to heal a serious wound one must prod deeply into it, even if it hurts like hell.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I fail to see the relevance, Magister.”

“I’m sure you are smarter than that, Aghat. You are wounded, even if this fact may not be obvious to everyone. If I thought you could deal with it on your own, I wouldn’t be here, believe me.”

Her lips twitched. “Like I said, Magister. I’m not in the mood. Perhaps we could have this conversation another time?”

“You mean, after you deal with the worst of your pain on your own and do something foolish with your life for no reason whatsoever?”

“No reason?” Her eyes narrowed. “Do you presume to know everything about everyone, Magister?”

Egey Bashi sighed. “I wish. And no, of course I don’t. However, I believe I know something you don’t about the situation you find yourself in.”

“Really?” Her lips twitched into an ironic smile, but Egey Bashi could also sense the strain behind it.

He leaned back into the wall.

“Something not commonly known about this castle,” he said, “is that it possesses an amazing library – alas, greatly under-used. I couldn’t help thinking that with your current desire for solitude you might find that place... comforting. In particular, their section on the history and customs of the Majat Guild rivals the one you have back home, and is especially rich in those chronicles that your Guild prefers to keep from circulating too widely among its members.”

“
Library
?” she echoed. “But I…” her voice trailed off as she continued to watch him warily.

“You might find interesting things in there, Aghat, especially regarding the post of the Majat Guildmaster and the kind of privileges it affords.” Egey Bashi paused, relieved to see the way her eyes widened as she listened. “I hope you read on it as soon as possible. It breaks my heart to see you like this, even if it is, in a way, none of my business. Perhaps you’d find my motivations easier to understand if you consider them as purely pragmatic. If we are ever to expect a strike back from the Kaddim, your presence would be instrumental to our success, not only because of your unique resistance to their power, but also because of your efficiency and brilliance – which, I cannot help noticing, might be somewhat hindered if you were to remain in your present state of mind. For all these reasons I feel that if you, for instance, decide to go to the library right now and spend, oh, a day or so searching, you might just be surprised at the information that section has to offer. You’ll find it in the east cloister, under ‘M’. Some of the chronicles are stacked deeper inside, on the second row on the shelves. You might want to start with those. I especially recommend the one stashed into a hidden compartment on the left side of the shelf. The latch that opens it looks like a griffin head, different from the rest of the ornaments. I don’t think you’ll need my help with it, but, if you do, please don’t hesitate to ask. You know where to find me.”

He held her gaze for a moment longer, making sure all the information settled in. Then he got up and walked away.

The Majat Guildmaster had the rank of a king, entitled to his own apartment in a prime area of the castle, with a complement of servants and enough room to accommodate all his men. But Kara knew that Mai had rejected this arrangement and chose to reside in the Majat grounds, occupying the old room that had belonged to him when he had been leader of the Pentade. When Kara approached it along the bare stone corridor, she felt her heart quiver, echoing with a weakness in her knees a fighter of her rank was not supposed to have.

She took a breath before raising her hand and knocking on the door.

Mai’s eyes lit up with quick surprise as he saw her standing in the doorway. She swallowed, hoping that her voice would not betray her nervousness.

“Aghat Mai,” she said. “I came to have a word with you, if this is a good time.”

He silently stepped aside, letting her into the room, and closed the door, watching her with a wary expression. He wore no weapons, clearly unprepared for visitors. The absence of his staff tip protruding above his shoulder made him look strangely open, as if caught off guard at a very private moment. She glanced around to see the staff leaning against the wall within easy reach, its black polished wood giving off a quiet, suffused gleam.

Kara had never been in this room before. Its simple furnishing mirrored her own quarters, but some additional touches indicated Mai probably cared about comfort more than she did. His low bed by the far wall was much wider than hers, covered by spotless white sheets. A curtain adorned the window, which overlooked the lake, admitting a spectacular view. A shelf in the corner next to a massive desk held books and scrolls, as well as an elaborate writing set gleaming with heavy silver carvings. The latter was likely an addition required by his new station, but she glanced over the books with interest, finding them mostly related to the topics of history and military strategy.

She looked back at Mai, feeling his gaze burn her as he continued to watch her. She swallowed.

“I came to give a formal answer to your very generous offer to allow me to resume my rank in the Guild.”

She waited for a response, but it didn’t come, so she went on.

“I have given it very careful consideration and I have decided to decline.”

His gaze wavered and she saw his shoulders sag just a bit, as if a tense string inside him had suddenly given way.

“I understand,” he said. “This is a big loss to our Guild, but I respect your decision... And I am happy for you. As I mentioned before, you are free to do whatever you will, and no Majat will ever pursue you because of your past.” His gaze softened. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to live out your life in peace and to pursue your happiness.”

“Thank you, Guildmaster,” she said. “This means a lot to me. Because of your generosity, I now find myself the first in the history of our Guild with freedom to pursue personal happiness. No words could possibly express my gratitude.”

His gaze hovered on her with a glimpse of feeling that receded before she could catch what it was. As she peered, his eyes became tranquil, like the summer sky.

She took a breath. “One of the most important reasons for my decision was that my freedom now enables me to have a conversation with you that would have been impossible if I were your subordinate.”

He lifted his eyebrows in a silent question.

“Once, you asked me if I was in love with Kyth.”

He went very still.

“Forgive me,” he said. “I shouldn’t have.”

“I’m not.”

His eyes widened. His face showed hesitation as if he wasn’t sure he had heard her right.

“I’m very fond of Kyth,” she said. “He will always have my friendship. I greatly admire him for what he has become, and value his role in our fight against the Kaddim. But I don’t have any feelings for him beyond that.”

Mai stood so still that he appeared inanimate. Only his eyes continued to follow her, their look so intense that it burned.

“For some time,” she went on, “I have mistaken my feelings toward Kyth for love. But I now know for certain that I was wrong.”

“Were you?” Mai asked quietly.

“He… he was the first person in my life who ever made me realize that I can be more than just a prize fighter for our Guild. He taught me to see myself as a woman, as well as a deadly warrior. I am grateful to him for that. But I know for certain that he is not the man I want to spend my life with.”

She swallowed, his captivated look making her skin prickle.

“I have resolved my feelings with him. As a friend, he was very understanding and wished me happiness. I also informed him of my intention to leave the court.”

“Where will you go?” Mai asked quietly.

She met his eyes.

“I hoped you would be able to help me with that decision.”

“Me?” His widening eyes suddenly made him look young and vulnerable.

She paused to steady her voice. “Yes. Thinking about my future, I took advantage of the royal library, which apparently contains a wealth of information about the limitations – and privileges – afforded to you by your post as the Majat Guildmaster.”

He frowned, peering into her eyes, and she quivered at the hope she saw in his gaze.

“My findings surprised me,” she went on. “They also gave me hope, which prompted me to approach you with this conversation.”

He was watching her with hypnotising stillness.

“I found that the post of the Majat Guildmaster leaves a man with much more personal freedom than we have all been raised to believe. A man in this post cannot pursue any personal relations with his subordinates, or anyone whose allegiance may be exploited as a basis for a political alliance. However, nothing in the Code precludes a Majat Guildmaster from having a lasting relationship with an outsider to the Guild, who has pledged no loyalty to anyone else. This, of course, makes it nearly impossible to find a match – which is probably why, historically, the Majat Guildmaster has been perceived as a person off limits to everyone else.”

Mai continued watching her, the quiet fascination in his gaze sending her heart racing.

“I’ve even found a precedent,” she went on, “when a Majat Guildmaster married a woman from outside the Fortress. While the legality of this marriage is strongly debated in the chronicles, she shared his quarters, had full access to all the Guild’s grounds, and accompanied him on all assignments.”

“To no good end. He was unable to protect her.”

Kara’s eyes widened. She would never have found this particular chronicle if not for Egey Bashi’s tip about the secret compartment. She was certain that, even if copies existed elsewhere, the Majat would have made every effort to ensure that they would be equally hard to find. The Guild couldn’t possibly afford for such things to be publicly known.

“You read this chronicle too?”

“Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility?”

She felt as if he had just kicked the floor from under her feet, sending her into freefall.

“You have?”

He smiled. “A man can always dream. There’s nothing in the Code to prohibit that, is there?”

A thrill echoed in the pit of her stomach.

“In our conversation you just referred to,” Mai said, “I also told you about my feelings.”

“You did.” Now it was her turn to be hypnotized as the emotion she had glimpsed in his gaze earlier torrented to the surface, trapping her like an invisible bond.

“I didn’t mean to, back then. But in retrospect I’m glad it happened that way, if my confession has anything to do with your motivation to do your… research.”

She swallowed. “You never said anything since then. If you knew your post allowed it…”

He shook his head. “I said that I would never force you into a choice. I knew you had feelings for Kyth. My closeness had inadvertently confused you. I didn’t want to take advantage of it.”

Kara looked at him with wide eyes. Dear Shal Addim, up until this moment, she hadn’t fully realized the sacrifices he’d made for her. He had opened up to her down to the very core, and then quietly stepped aside, giving her all the time she needed to make her choice. He had lain down his entire self to protect her, without any intention to benefit from it.

“It wasn’t a hard choice,” she said. “And I’d made it a long time ago. You are the man I love. This is why I came to you today for a decision.”

He frowned. “A decision?”

“Yes. You can let me stay by your side. Or, you can dismiss me.”

He reached forward and pulled her into his arms.

“There,” he said. “You’re by my side. And I am never letting you go. How’s this for a decision?”

“Good,” she whispered.

His hand slid up into her hair, cupping her head, drawing her closer. Her breath caught as she lifted her face to meet his kiss.

It felt like homecoming, his taste instantly going to her head like a sip of strong wine. As he held her, she remembered the last time he had held her this way, on the eve of their tournament. Back then, it felt like saying goodbye. And now, it felt like a new beginning, the force of her happiness bringing tears to her eyes as she savored his taste, his smell, the way his arms around her made her feel so complete.

An eternity swept by in a single instant, the world around them shifting to become a brighter, better place. They spent a long time just standing there, savoring each other, immersed in the new closeness she had often dreamed of but never felt possible to experience.

She felt dizzy as he finally drew away from her, just enough to see her face. The tenderness in his gaze made her head spin.

A smile glimmered in the corners of his mouth as he looked down on her.

“Do you intend to wear your weapons all the time?” he asked.

Wordlessly, she stepped out of his arms and unstrapped her knife belt, placing it at his feet, followed by her boot dagger, her grappler hook, and, finally, her hagdala.

It looked like a formal surrender, and this was exactly how she felt, surrendering to the man she loved, body and soul. The way he looked at her made her shiver, his fascinated expression sending her heart racing to new heights. She had never imagined anyone could make her feel the way he did, like a rare treasure a man could only dream of.

All this time, they had been fighting the impossible – two people meant for each other, a perfect match. And now, nobody could possibly do anything to keep them apart.

She kept his gaze as she took off her clothes, laying them down at his feet next to her weapons, standing in front of him stark naked. She watched him a moment longer, letting the surrender settle before she stepped into his arms again.

He swept her into his embrace and carried her to his bed, stretching next to her, still fully clothed. His hand circled her wrists, holding them above her head as he leaned over to kiss her. His free hand caressed her in a long, drawn movement that made her entire body respond with arousal, his touch sending shivers down to her most intimate parts. The fighter in her felt panicked about being so helpless in his arms. With his fighting skill he could do
anything
to her when she lay like this in his hold, her arms over her head, his tongue claiming her mouth, his light, toned body trapping her underneath with no possibility of escape. She was amazed how this thrill of fear in the pit of her belly added to her excitement, until she felt she could release any moment, before he even took his clothes off.

She knew what he was doing, and how important it was for both of them to experience this in their new closeness. Despite the enjoyment he had given her before, every time she had been with him this fighter’s fear had been there at the back of her mind, driving her to match his strength, to compose herself, to keep at least partially in control even during the ultimate closeness. This fear, as she now realized, had also precluded her in the past from ever enjoying her body to the full, making her teachers in the Guild feel so exasperated with this particular side of her training, making it so difficult for Kyth to get close enough to awaken the woman in her. The only time she had been able to at least partially let herself go was with Mai during his delirium, when her belief that he was not aware of his actions had temporarily released her fear, making her feel that despite his strength she was the one in control. She remembered how this knowledge that she was letting go with full awareness of the possible consequences added to her excitement, her release that time even stronger. And now, when he was fully in control and had her in his power, the thrill of it built to an arousal she had never experienced before.

Giving in to his caress, she also realized more. She no longer felt she had to match him or maintain her own in their closeness the way she did in a fight. She was ready to give herself to him fully and unconditionally, to do with as he willed, and this was a feeling she had never believed possible for her to experience with any man.

She could sense his need that matched hers, and the way he held back, stretching the moment, giving her time to surrender completely into his control. She knew that, being a fighter of the same training, he fully understood what it meant for her, and how much it meant to him that she did. She could also sense his control slipping as his movements became more powerful, savoring her, possessing her like a prize beyond his wildest dreams.

His slow caress built her excitement to the impossible. She floated on the waves of her arousal, so ready for him as he finally released her and drew away to remove his clothes, catching her in his arms. She grasped him, her hands now free to explore him, savoring every inch of his light, toned body moving against hers. She felt carnal in her passion as she claimed him, bit by bit, losing herself in every delicious moment as he, in turn, claimed her for his own. A moan escaped her lips when he entered her, her head rolling to meet his kiss. He drove into her and she dug her fingers into his back, his powerful rhythm driving her to the edge, holding her there for an impossibly long time. She screamed and shuddered in his arms as he accelerated, his release inside her sending her to new heights which clouded her mind completely, making her feel as if it was never going to end.