The Guild of Fallen Clowns (17 page)

Mary followed his gaze. "Oh god no!" she
said. "I bought those for my grandmother. I don't make tchotchke."
She stuck the Band-Aid into his palm and tossed the washcloth in
the corner.

"I don't get it. Why would you buy something
for your grandmother when you could make things so much
better?"

Mary scooped up the bandage wrapper and tabs
and tossed them in the waste can. "I didn't buy them for their
quality." she said as she picked up the male figure and examined
it. "I bought them to show my grandmother Japan through my
eyes."

Alan looked puzzled. She continued before he
could ask her to clarify. "She was very sick the last ten years of
her life. Before that, she always said that she would travel the
world one day. She had dreams of stepping out of her simple life
and exploring the world. She wanted her mother to be proud of
her."

"Her mother?" Alan asked.

"I know, it sounds crazy. Her mother died
when my grandmother was twenty. But that didn't stop her from
trying to measure up to the powerful woman she was. Her mother was
thirteen when she came to America from Poland. She didn't even come
with her family. Her parents gave her to a wealthy family who used
her as a slave. They took her with them to America. After that, she
ran away and lived with distant relatives until she married and
started a family of her own. Then she moved back to Poland with her
husband and first child because he wanted to fight for his country
in World War Two."

"Did he survive?" Alan asked.

"Surprisingly, yes. The war ended, and he
and my great grandmother had three more kids together. They were
very poor and the conditions there were horrible. She wanted to
return to America, but he wasn't ready. So, she took the youngest
child with her. The plan was to have him and the other kids come
later when she could afford to pay for their trips. Once she got
the money to bring them over, he backed out and stayed in Poland
with the other kids. She knew she couldn't go back, so she stayed
here with my great grandmother. Can you imagine how hard it must
have been for her to give up her own children?"

"That's awful!" Alan replied.

"I know. She was so brave. That's why my
grandmother felt so weak compared to her. She never left the farm,
so to speak. She spent her entire life in three houses. She never
travelled more than three hundred miles from where she was
born."

"So you helped her see Japan with those
figures?" Alan asked.

"Sort of. I travelled the world in her
place. When I returned from all the countries I travelled, I
brought her souvenirs and told her every detail about my trips.
Near the end, she would look at the figures and recite the stories
back to me as if the experiences were her own. I like to think I
was able to give her the thing she wanted most. I just wish she
could have been there with me. She was every bit as strong as her
mother, and we would have had a blast together."

"Sounds like you take after them." Alan
said.

"Actually, I'm not like them at all. I'm a
homebody. I only did that for her sake. I would never be able to do
that for myself. All those trips were with tour groups. I'm
perfectly comfortable living a simple life." she grabbed his arm
and pulled. "Now lets get back to work."

When they returned to the studio, Alan
noticed red drops in the creamy white silicone of the open bucket.
“I got some blood in the silicone. Will that be a problem? Should I
try to scoop it out?”

Mary looked at the handful of tiny drops on
the surface of the silicone. “We’ll just mix it in real good and
it’ll be—well, drops in the bucket.” She smiled. “By the way, how
did you cut your hand at the carnival?”

“Oh yeah, well, I work there part time.”

“You do? What do you do there?”

Up till this point, Alan thought he did a
good job of portraying himself in just a moderately geeky way. He
wasn’t forthcoming about his other gig as a part-time clown because
he didn’t want to totally blow her impression of him. The Clown
World Boogy character was one thing. He was an admired and powerful
virtual character, but he feared the real world Boogy might raise
warning flags in her mind. He didn’t want to tell her, but he
couldn’t ignore her question.

“I’m a clown there. Actually, I’m Boogy the
Clown.”
Oh great,
he thought. Now she knew of his connection
to the dork side. He couldn’t believe he just threw it out there
without trying to change the subject.

“Oh my god. So you’re not just Boogy the
Clown in Clown World? Are you telling me you really dress up that
way and act as Boogy at the carnival?”

Suddenly, he felt like he was back at
Paula’s house delivering a pizza while she tried to hide her pity
for his pathetic life. Why did he believe Dale when he convinced
him that he had a chance with Mary? She was a normal person, which
naturally put her in a league way above his own. Mary was just a
nice person. She couldn’t possibly have a romantic interest in
someone like him. Her only interest was in being his friend and
sharing an interest in sculpting. He was delusional thinking it
could ever turn into something more.

Now that the cat was out of the bag, he had
nothing more to hide. He might as well accept the fact that he and
Mary would just be friends and get on with the lesson.

“Yes. I also do kids parties,” he
replied.

Mary smiled wide—more proof that she was
never interested in the possibility of dating him. If she viewed
him in any other way, she wouldn’t be smiling back at him in
amusement over his lifestyle.

“You’re kidding me,” she said as she punched
his arm.

“No, I’m your mild-mannered pizza delivery
guy by night and a stumbling clown on weekends. Well, actually I do
both, day and night, but you get the idea.”

Still smiling with great amazement, she
punched his arm again. Alan covered the spot with his hand. “Ow!
You’re gonna have to stop doing that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. She reached over
and rubbed his hand, still over the tender area. “You amaze me,
Alan.”

“What?”

“Seriously, you are a very interesting
person. I think it’s awesome that you work as a clown.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do. Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?”

“It’s been right there in front of you the
whole time. You have the soul of an artist, Alan. You are a free
spirit. You find something you’re passionate about and you live it.
I can’t believe you never realized this about yourself.”

“Still not following you here,” he said.

“Alan,” she said as she grabbed both of his
arms. “You are a creative person. You’re an artist at heart. I
think it’s awesome that you’ve found an outlet for your dreams. And
now I’m going to help you express yourself even more, through your
sculpting.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan,” he said. He
still wasn’t sure why Mary was so excited over his clown gig at the
carnival. By now he wasn’t even sure if he had blown his chances
with her romantically. She said she admired his loser lifestyle.
This was all too strange for him.

“Oh, before we get into the lesson, you need
to promise me something,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“You need to take me to the carnival. I love
carnivals but I don’t know anyone here and I wouldn’t want to go
alone. I’d love to see you dressed as Boogy there, but I’d rather
go with you—when you’re not working.”

“Sure,” he said.
Did she just ask me out
on a date?
He wondered.

“Great! Oh, I can’t wait. When? When can we
go? I’m free whenever you are.”

“How’s Saturday night sound?” he asked.

“It’s a date!” she said.

“It’s a date,” he confirmed. Wow, a real
Saturday night date with a cute girl. Dale was a genius.

They spent the rest of the afternoon with
Mary teaching Alan everything he needed to know in order to make
his first mold. The initial step was to brush on the first of
multiple coats of silicone over his sculpture. He assumed Lailah
was growing more comfortable with him because the quakes stopped
and there was a feeling of calm in the house. Mary had said she
felt safe with Lailah around. Maybe Lailah was just being a bit
overprotective of Mary. Now that she accepted him and realized he
wasn’t a threat to Mary, she backed down.

The cure time between coats of silicone and
the subsequent fiberglass shell was long. Mary took advantage of
this time by demonstrating the casting and finish painting
processes on some of her finished molds. With hours to go before
his mold was ready for use, Alan made a shopping list of the
various products he lacked in order to cast and paint his first
piece. On his way home that afternoon, he stopped at the art store
to stock up on the necessary materials to complete the first
replica of his Peepers sculpture.

It was midnight when Alan gazed at the
figure in his hand. The image of Peepers, which had so frightened
him days earlier, now acted as an inspiration and turning point in
his life. He was proud of the results and he looked forward to
getting Peepers’ approval the following morning.

*****

Admiring his work before presenting it for
approval, Alan stood in the mirrored labyrinth waiting for Peepers
to appear. Geno left him in the center of the room as he secured
the entrance door from the inside, then exited to the catwalk
structure above.

Lights in the chamber dimmed and the
familiar swirl of smoke in the mirrors gave way, revealing Peepers.
His eyes fixated on the object in Alan’s hand.

“Oh, hey, Peepers,” Alan said. He held the
figure out so Peepers could get a better view of his work.

“I finished it. What do you think?”

Peepers floated through the mirror. His
translucent body stopped and bent down for a closer inspection.

“Peepers wise in choosing Alan. Talent
greater than Peepers know.”

Alan smiled. “I guess that means you like
it?”

“Like, yes. Peepers now able to free fearful
humans. Alan must help Peepers earn light.”

Alan returned the figure to a paper bag.
“I’m ready, Peepers. I already know who you can help.”

“Alan give Peepers likeness tonight. Then
Alan make more. Help others. Help Peepers earn light,” Peepers
said.

“Hold on, Peepers. The person I want to help
with this is scared. She won’t even open her door to me. I have to
wait for her to order a pizza. Then I can leave your figure with
the pizza.”

“Must be tonight,” Peepers commanded.

“I can’t promise anything, Peepers. If she
orders a pizza tonight, great, but if she doesn’t call for a few
days—well, we’ll just have to wait. You have to trust me on
this.”

Peepers slumped and said, “Alan right.
Peepers eager to help.”

“I understand. I’m also anxious to help
others.” Just then, Alan had another thought for the Peepers
figure. “Peepers—could you help my sister-in-law with her fear of
crowds? She stresses out whenever she’s around a lot of
people.”

Peepers took a long time considering Alan’s
suggestion. He turned away to face the reflection-less mirror. So
much time passed that Alan wasn’t sure if he understood his
question.

“Peepers…did you hear me? I’m just trying to
think of a way to help you right away.”

Peepers turned to face Alan and said,
“Peepers not best for this. Family close. Alan need guild member
better suited for her fear. Need Agor.” Again, Peepers turned
toward the mirrors, and an image emerged from the darkness—a short,
thin elfish-looking clown. His ears were pointed and his nose was
long and blue, resembling a gourd. He wore a three-pointed hat
decorated with colored pom-poms. He held his hands together against
his chest and twitched nervously as he struggled to retain eye
contact with Alan.

“Say hello, Agor,” Peepers said.

Agor looked up long enough to follow
Peepers’ instruction. In a high-pitched voice he said, “Hello.” His
eyes quickly lowered and he let out a short burst of a giggle that
sounded like a machine gun. With each “heh” of the rapid-fire
uncomfortable release, flashes of him appeared throughout the
mirrors of the room. Each one was identical to the original Agor;
however, all appeared in different sizes, ranging from short, fat
versions to tall and thin. The images vanished as quickly as they
appeared.

“Hello, Agor. It’s nice to meet you,” Alan
said.

“Look closely, Alan. Agor can help your
family. Sculpt Agor and present to sister. Problem go away,”
Peepers said.

Alan studied Agor. Again, Agor twitched and
giggled, and again, his multi-sized images flashed through the
mirrors.

“I think I got it,” Alan said as he backed
away. Peepers looked at Agor and raised his hand, dispatching the
nervous clown back into the darkness.

“Peepers also help with Alan’s bully
problem,” Peepers said.

Alan looked surprised and confused.

“What bully problem?”

“Peepers know about Lyle. The guild can help
Alan.”

“How do you know about Lyle? And what makes
you think I have a problem?”

“Peepers’ visions beyond the Labyrinth. Alan
help us leave confines and help in physical world beyond.”

“So you saw what Lyle did the other
day?”

“Yes. The Guild unable to help Alan then.
Now the guild can help.”

Peepers turned back toward the mirrors and
another clown character emerged. He was of average height, but wide
and muscular. He had a large round head with bright orange curly
hair. He had an infectiously wide, gap-toothed smile, which
appeared to stretch from one protruding ear to the other. Instead
of wearing a typical clown suit, he wore a multicolored polka dot
tank top and frilly white cuffs around his wrists. His pants were
pleated with pin stripes and held up with a knotted rope. His clown
shoes were typical in size, but glossy black in color.