The Guild of Fallen Clowns (35 page)

She reached for the glass, picked it up, and
pulled it to her chest. Her eyes returned to her captor. He sipped
his wine and she took a sip from her glass.

“Geno doesn’t want you,” Peepers said. She
didn’t respond as she took another sip.

“Regina is alone. Always alone.” Peepers
gulped the remaining wine from his glass and placed it on the
table. He lifted the bottle and tipped it over her glass. She
rejected his unspoken offer to top it off with an open hand
covering the glass. He pulled it back and emptied the bottle into
his glass. Before placing it on the table, he turned and studied it
in his hand.

“Regina’s heart always empty like bottle.”
He put the bottle down and focused on her. She stared back. Tears
welled in her eyes until they overflowed and dripped down her
cheeks. She wiped her eyes in her sleeve.

She glared back at him. “So what, I’m alone.
Is that your game? You and your asshole friend Geno get off on
picking up lonely fat girls? Does it make you feel better about
your own sorry ass lives by telling them how pathetic they are?
What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?” She wiped away
more tears.

Peepers grinned and leaned across the table.
“Mother and father, only love Regina knew. Both die when Regina
just three.”

“What? How do you know that? What’s going on
here?”

“Regina’s only love. Yet she too young to
remember feeling.”

“Who are you? Please stop doing this. Please
let me go.” She reached for her wine and chugged it down. She
slammed the glass back to the table and stood.

“I finished my glass. You promised to let me
go if I had a drink with you. Now please let me out.” She turned
and looked at the mirrors for the door to be revealed. The only
thing she saw was her reflection and those of the table, two
glasses, and an empty bottle of wine. She stopped, and with her
back to Peepers and the table, she saw the reflection of his wine
glass rising from the table and tilting. The floating glass
returned upright and lowered to the table. She spun around.
Peepers’ arm rested over the back of his chair, folded at the elbow
with his chin resting on his closed fist. His legs were crossed. He
smiled and moved the hand out from under his chin and waved it in a
semi-circular motion around the room. Her eyes followed his
movement as she scanned the remaining mirrors. He was there in
front of her, but he didn’t have a reflection in the mirrors.

“What are you?” Her voice quivered. “Are you
a vampire? Do you want my blood?”

Peepers turned back to the table, put his
elbows down, and lowered his face into his hands. “Why do they
think vampire? Vampires not real. Stupid humans think Peepers is
vampire.”

“You’re not a vampire? Then why can’t I see
your reflection in the mirrors?” she asked.

Peepers lifted his head from his hands and
faced her. “Peepers is spirit. Peepers here to set Regina free from
pain in heart.”

With a confused look, she relaxed her
protective stance. “A spirit? Like an angel?”

“Yes, Peepers like angel.”

“What kind of angel? Why are you dressed in
black and—well, scary looking?”

Peepers stood. “Mother and father wait for
Regina. Peepers free Regina to feel their love.” He stepped
closer.

Regina stiffened as she realized what was
happening. “Oh my god! You are the Angel of Death, the Grim Reaper.
You’re here to end my life.” She backed up to the wall. Peepers
stopped and watched her as she slid to the floor.

“Does Regina desire love?”

She looked up at him and mumbled, “Yes, but
I don’t want to die.”

“Death where Regina find love.”

“Really?”

“Regina’s mother and father wait.”

“Mommy— Daddy,” she whispered.

Peepers sat beside her. Her head leaned on
his shoulder.

“Will it hurt?” she said.

“Nothing like pain of empty heart.” He held
her head as he slid her back to the floor. She closed her eyes and
allowed him to gently release her head and fold her arms over her
belly.

“I’m coming, Mommy and Daddy. I love you
both,” she whispered in preparation for crossing over.

Peepers stood above her with his feet
planted beside each of her hips. Regina’s eyes remained closed. “I
can’t wait to see you. I’m ready. I’m ready to feel your love and
to love both of you.”

Peepers silently unsheathed his dark sword.
He smiled as he placed the pointed tip to her breastbone and
waited.

Regina stopped praying and opened her eyes
to see the sword pressed against her. The sight was too much for
her and she shut her eyes tight. “Please don’t make it hurt. I’m
almost there, Mommy and Daddy.”

Peepers laughed and her eyes sprung open.
“Grim Reaper,” he chuckled. He raised the sword and slashed it
across her chest. She screamed and looked down at the foot-long
gash oozing with blood.

“Peepers no angel. Peepers more like vampire
myth,” he said. His sword rose above her. She screamed and
attempted to squeeze free through his legs. The sword sliced
through the air and stopped as it chopped into her shoulder.
Regina’s screams intensified. Peepers face filled with joy as he
drank in her fear. He pried the sword from her bone and raised it
above his head. She looked up in terror and held out her hand to
stop his blow. Swoosh! Her hand flew from her arm. Blood squirted
from the stump.

She became woozy from the extreme horror and
loss of blood. Her head turned to the side. Before she passed out,
Peepers reached down and grabbed her face. He jerked her head back
to face him. Her eyes rolled into her head. He shook her and waited
for her focus to return to him. Then, with one hand still holding
her face, he lowered the sword to her throat and leisurely carved
to the bone.

He leaned his head to her neck and breathed
deep as her last breath gurgled from the blood-filled gash.

Brenda looked back at Sammy fast asleep in
the back seat. “He’s already out,” she said as she turned and
looked at her father driving the car.

“He takes after his mother. You used to fall
asleep as soon as the engine started.”

Brenda smiled. “Really, you never told me
that.”

“Oh sure, sometimes when we put you to bed,
you wouldn’t stop crying. Your mother and I would put you in the
car and drive around the neighborhood a few times to get you to
sleep. It worked like a charm. Most times you were out before we
got out of the driveway.”

“Why didn’t you guys tell me about that? It
might have come in handy when Sammy was teething.”

“I guess it didn’t come up because your
mother died before Sammy was born, and…well, I, eh…”

“It’s okay, Daddy. You’re here now, and
that’s all that matters.”

Sam gritted his teeth and punched the
dashboard in front of him. The Peepers figure bounced in front of
him where it was tucked between the window and the dashboard.

“It’s okay, Daddy, really.”

“No, it’s not okay. I should have been there
for you and your mother. I should be there for you and Sammy. It’s
not okay.”

Brenda checked to see if Sammy was still
sleeping. Then she looked back at her father. “It wasn’t your
fault. The doctors told you not to blame yourself for what
happened. You did your best.”

Sam stopped the car at a red light and took
in a deep breath before slowly letting it out.

“I’m sorry, Bren, it’s just that it wasn’t
supposed to be this way. You all deserved better.”

“Look, Dad, you don’t have to go with us to
church tomorrow. It’s a big step and if you’re not ready—”

“No, I’m okay. I need to focus on today
forward. I
want
to spend more time with the two of you.”

“But it’s okay if you decide not to go. I
shouldn’t have brought it up. How ’bout we go to brunch together
afterwards? We’ll meet you at the diner.”

“No, I should go with you. God knows I don’t
deserve to be there, but as long as I’m not there to ask for his
forgiveness, he might be okay with it.”

The light turned green and Sam pressed on
the gas. Peepers slid back from the window and teetered on the
front edge of the dashboard. Sam pushed it back against the
window.

“I’m not going to argue with that logic,”
Brenda said. “You may not have attended church since long before I
was born, but I’m sure you know it doesn’t work that way. You have
to stop beating yourself up.”

Sam didn’t respond. He was lost in his own
thoughts and Brenda became concerned from the despair in his face.
“Why don’t you stay with us tonight? I’ll make popcorn and we can
watch a movie or something. Or sports, if there’s a game on; we can
watch it together. I won’t mind.”

Her offer succeeded in rescuing him from his
thoughts. “Sports? Since when did you want to watch any sports? Do
you even know what sports are playing this time of year?” He
laughed.

Brenda laughed with him. “Okay, I’m
guessing—baseball?”

“Good guess,” Sam said.

“I don’t care what we watch. I just think it
would be nice to spend more time with my daddy.”

“That sounds nice, and I appreciate your
willingness to sit through a baseball game, but I know what you’re
doing. You’re worried about me.”

“I always worry about you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m doing
fine. Really, I’m good.” He drove up Brenda’s driveway and put the
car in park.

“Are you sure, because I make some mean
popcorn.”

“I’m sure, Bren,” he said. He looked back at
Sammy, still sleeping in the back seat. “Let me help you get him in
the house.” Sammy’s eyes opened and he looked at their loving faces
watching him. He yawned and stretched.

“I don’t think we’ll need any help. He
doesn’t like being carried when he’s awake,” she said.

“Oh, that’s right, he’s a big boy now,” Sam
said.

Brenda got out and opened the rear door.
“There’s my big boy.” She helped Sammy out of the car and held his
hand as she leaned through the passenger window. “The service
starts at ten. It’s okay if you change your mind. We’ll sit in the
back so it won’t be hard to find us.”

Sam smiled at his daughter and told her he
would see them both at ten. Brenda turned and walked toward the
house.

Sam waited until she was safely inside
before backing out of her driveway. He pressed the gas and turned
the wheel left to navigate a bend in the road. The sudden jolt sent
the Peepers figure flying from the dashboard. Sam’s right hand
jetted out to catch the figure, but he was too late and the figure
landed on the passenger seat. With the car on a straight road, Sam
looked down to see the figure standing upright with its back
resting against the seat.

“Wow, what are the odds?” he whispered to
himself as he glanced back at the precariously positioned statue.
His focus returned to the road and from his right he heard, “My
name is Peepers.” Sam’s head spun toward the sound. He looked at
the motionless figure, shook the crazy from his head, and looked
back at the road.

“I represent the Guild of Fallen
Clowns.”

Sam turned back to the figure again. “What
the fuck is wrong with me?” he said before returning to his
driving.

“On this day, your life will change.”

These words sent Sam into a nearby parking
lot, where he slammed on his brakes and parked the car. He looked
back at the figure, which remained in the impossible upright
position next to him.

“It can’t be,” he said. He reached for the
volume button on his radio and turned counterclockwise. It didn’t
move. He twisted it clockwise and the radio clicked on with the
sound of Heart’s “Crazy on You” playing.

Wild man’s world is cryin’ in pain. What you
gonna do when everybody’s insane.

He flicked it off and looked back to the
figure. His right hand moved to within a few inches of it and
stopped. After a short pause, his index finger jutted out and
pushed into its shoulder. It showed no resistance as it fell over
on the seat. Tears welled in Sam’s eyes and he leaned forward with
both arms hugging the steering wheel. “This can’t be happening.
Please don’t do this to me again, God. I can’t go back there.” He
sobbed for a minute before regaining his composure. His right arm
lowered from the steering wheel and he turned for another look at
the figure. It remained motionless on its side, where he left
it.

Sam sighed and raised his head to look up to
the sky through the front windshield. The brick wall of the
building in front of him blocked his view. A neon sign flashed
“Riverside Bar & Grill.”

“I know it’s
a
sign, but is this your
way of sending me a ‘sign’?” he mumbled. He leaned back and removed
the keys from the ignition and exited the car. “Maybe you are
listening,” he said to himself as he locked his door and proceeded
to the front door of the establishment.

*****

“I love carnival food,” Mary said, hugging
Alan’s arm as they stood up to the concession stand.

“We’ll have two hot dogs,” Alan said to the
vendor. He turned to Mary and frowned. “Sorry, did you want
something else?”

“You read my mind,” she said with a
grin.

“I’m getting a small root beer. What do you
want to drink?” he asked.

“Make it a medium and we’ll share. No sense
paying double,” she said

Alan turned and ordered the drink. Then he
turned back to Mary. “I’m gonna have medium fries. Do you want
fries?”

Mary’s eyes smiled back at his. Alan grinned
and turned back to the person behind the counter. “And one large
fries,” he said.

*****

A food worker tossed a bag of trash into the
Dumpster, and as he turned, from the corner of his eye, he noticed
movement. He looked back and saw Geno appearing to sneak past
him.