The Hand That Holds Mine (6 page)

“You’re in a vulnerable state Adeline, I don’t think having a man you don’t even know, in your home is a good thing.”

I smile and grab my laptop from my side table, handing it to her. “Read, read the story and you will understand everything, Deb.”

 
“Adeline, I can’t do this with you right now.” I want you to call off your attorney and allow me to take care of you properly.

“What attorney?”

“You know what attorney, Adeline.”

I finally realize, “You mean Aaron?”

“I don’t know what his name is but he’s becoming a nuisance.”

“Let it go Deb, I’m not going to give up fighting until I finish this book.”

She nods with frustration, “Until you finish? Alright, I tell you what, I will give you until the end of the day because tomorrow I have a judge coming to see you. He’s going to make a judgment as to your ability to make rational decisions. And he will give me the right to make decisions for you, Adeline. He is going to let me decide how you should be cared for.” She pauses sighing with tears streaming. “If you would just come see this place, I think you will really like it. If you will let me take you there and let them take care of you, then I will forgo this legal mess and let you remain in control of your own life.”

“I’m not leaving here Deb. And I’m not changing my mind. Please don’t force me to.”

“Fine, then I will see you tomorrow.” She says grabbing my hand and kissing my forehead, “I’m only doing this for your own good you know.”

Once Deb leaves, Pamela comes in and faces me with a sour expression of her own. “You need to decide. This cannot go on any longer. She will be back tomorrow and she will take you away and then your story will never be. You will never finish it.”

“She’ll be fine. It will all be fine.” Josh says taking my hand and pulling me into his arms.

 
“You’re running out of time, you have to make a decision and finish the story, Adeline. Joshua, you know what will happen if she doesn’t decide.” Pamela says as Josh tries to take me away from her.

“Don’t worry about that.” He says sensing my fear. “Where do you want to go today, beautiful?”

“I want to know what will happen if I don’t make a decision?” I ask, waiting for him to look at me. I force him to face me, “Josh, what will happen?”

“Nothing.” He pauses trying to avoid my eyes. “Nothing happens, everything stops and when you … go … so do I. But I would prefer that, if I have to be with anyone other than you.”

“I can’t let you die, I will choose if that means I can save you.” His comforting embrace only reaffirms the decision I have to make. “I can’t let you die, Joshua.”

“And I don’t want you to feel pain anymore. It breaks my heart every time. If you choose someone then I leave you to die, to be forced to depend on pills. I can’t do that.” His tear filled eyes are too real to ignore. Falling deep into his arms, I do all I can to ease his pain.

“I will choose someone wonderful for you - I promise.”

“No! Adeline. I will not leave you. You can’t …”

“I can … and I’m going to make you. You have no choice in this, I’m sorry but I’m going to die anyway, but you don’t have to.” I cry kissing him gently before going back home to finish my last book.

~Adeline~

I have notes spread out all over my house, searching and planning and searching some more for the perfect heroine and all the while, Joshua sits pouting behind me. My only support is Pamela. Hours go by and I narrow my decision down to a handful of choices. As I decide their character, they slowly take form and appear to us all. Taking Josh’s hand I ask him to dance with each of them so I can see. His stiff posture and angered nature does little to help me decide. He meets each option with a purposeful, hardened attitude and causes them to slowly disappear one after the other, until the last one remains. Turning to me with a smile, he lets me know that he can be just as stubborn as myself. “Next,” he says thinking he is going to win this battle with me. “Oh the last one, hmmm, not looking good, Adeline.” His cocky attitude is something new for me to see but he has yet to see my stubbornness.

“Well then she is the one.” I say.

Joshua turns with wide eyes, “No! She is only the last one, not the one. You have to think of someone else, this is not the right option for me.”

“You will obviously refuse every option I create, so I’m going to choose for you and she is it.” I say turning my back to him.

“No Adeline! No, what’re you doing?” He takes hold of me but I pull away.

“You have the love, the heroine for you, now - go Joshua, and be happy. Be happy and love her, because I know she will love you.” My tears come hard, the pain of my disease is nothing compared to the pain of losing him. Turning my back to him, I force him to let me go.

“Adeline! No! Don’t do this!” He screams as he disappears from my world.

Ahhhh!
The moment he is gone
I collapse to the floor. The pain overwhelms me. My disease crushes me. I have little time left to finalize what I need to. I plead with Pamela to help me to my room and into bed.

“Get my laptop.” I demand. Pamela reluctantly hands it to me as I glance up and see all my characters sitting with me and looking over me with sadness. “Don’t look at me that way, I have to write these last few lines and complete it.” My decision is clearly not a popular one. “Do you think he should die? If he does, I will still die anyway!” I yell.

“It’s not the right decision Adeline and you know it.” Aaron says shaking his head and walking away.

“We didn’t do all this work to help you make the wrong decision, Adeline.” Nick says taking Pamela’s hand and leading her away.

“She still has time to figure it out,” Pamela’s voice trails after them.

Gasping in pain I can’t control my own hands, I can’t feel the keys or even see the screen as I drop the computer to the ground - losing it in the darkness. “No, please not yet! Please don’t let me die yet.” I cry pleading with the dark room that surrounds me. “Please help me. It’s not fair, it’s not fair! I want my happiness too. I want …” I choke on my blood and feel my heart straining to hold on. Stretching, pushing myself, I try to reach out, lengthening my hand, my fingers as far as they can go I search through the darkness … for my happiness, my dreams. It all slowly begins to fade. “Please … please, I love him … I need him …” Crying my dry tears, my body is clearly at its end and I know I have failed. Failed them all, including myself, “Please …
I
… should be with him.” I gasp one final breath before … a hand takes mine.

~Deb~

I’m sure she will be angry with me at first, but she’ll get over it and I’ll be able to live with myself. With the judge and my attorney in tow I am shocked that Adeline’s attorney is not here to greet us and has not even been heard from since his bullying yesterday. Walking into her house it is noticeably silent and no one greets us, compelling me to become alarmed. I rush to her room and find it in perfect condition. Not a single thing out of place, not a speck of dust, even the bed is made, something I haven’t seen in a long time in this room. The judge looks at me in confusion as does everyone else.

“Where is she?” My attorney asks.

“I’m not sure.” I search her house as if she’ll suddenly appear but nothing stands out, nothing seems amiss except … Set neatly on her desk is a stack of paper with a bow displayed proudly on top. I pick it up and begin reading, getting more excited by the details and the story that begins to develop until I can take it no longer. I skip to the end reading the final paragraph:

I made a decision but it wasn’t one I could live with or die with so - I changed my mind. I have fallen in love, a love I cannot be without and I cannot force him to be without me. It was unfair to force me to choose my life or his, when really it was,
our life,
all along. It should have been my choice to choose him as he chose me. And I do, I choose him. I cannot explain how it has happened or if I will ever return but I can say that I called out for him, reached out for him and pleaded for him and before my last breath was completed … he came back for me. He came and took me to his world, the world I created, the world I have dreamed of my whole life. It has all seemed so unfair - until I believed. Believed that I deserve better, that I deserve him, and the life that we can have together and now I am happy, truly happy for the first time in my life. It’s funny, I am happy in the world that others called imaginary. But their imaginary is now my reality and
he
- is the best part of my reality.

You will wonder who
he
is, but you already know. It was … it is, his hand that holds mine.

Finding Ava:
Available now. The first book of the series (Romance, Supernatural, Dark).

Held captive in a room built just for her, Ava Kelley crouches in the dark corner, waiting for the mad man who has spent years following her every move. She never knew he was patiently waiting for his opportunity to make her his forever. If it were not for the memories of Sean’s warm smile to hold onto through her captors brutal attacks, she might never have had the strength to escape. Sean, the handsome man that rescued her from a wild celebrity-seeking mob never leaves her thoughts. Her heart beating louder than the breaths she tries to silence, she watches as the blackened room lights up, and he appears in her sights. One swing and she runs from her captor. Eager to find a life that he will not be able to find her in Ava moves to a
new city
and starts her own architecture firm and a new simpler life.

After years of concentrating only on her work, her trivial routines and keeping her distance from admiring men, Ava was unprepared for the whirlwind that sends Sean forcefully back into her life. He captured her heart from the moment she met him and no other man comes close to making her feel safe enough to allow her intimate desires to become reality.

Sean Grant finds himself in the midst of a new career, after leaving the military to help his mother recover from his father’s death. It has taken years of hard work, but now opportunities are flocking to his doorstep, women are clamoring to simply be noticed by him, his private life is available at every newsstand, and his now refined skills can be seen at every theater available. As one of the most sought after movie stars of the day, Sean’s life should be easy, but thanks to his mother meddling in his love life, it has become exceedingly difficult. Despite her meddling he still cannot find someone to erase the memories of her. It has been years since that chance meeting in New York, it was but only a few minutes but he has held onto the memories of her blue eyes ever since. His love for her grips him like no other and if not for his meddling mother, Sean would have never found Ava again.

Finding Ava is only the beginning, keeping her safely hidden from the mad man that is fixated on possessing her is the ongoing struggle. How do you keep someone you love hidden, when the lenses of hundreds of cameras follow your every move? It is a maddening effort but with the help of a mysterious old man, Sean receives the words of advice that may help save her life.

Reckless:
A sequel to Finding Ava.

This story dives deep into the making of the movie “Reckless”, and simultaneously takes you on a ride filled with sex, drama, disastrous sabotage, and battles of woman against woman and man against man. You will have to take a breath before you read this story because you won’t be able to take another until after it ends. Coming Summer 2012.

The Devil’s Eyes:
Available now.

Nicholas Jayzon has broken through the chains of his destitute past by stealing, swindling and charming his way to owning his city. In the city where most everyone owes him a favor, Nick’s power is growing. The police can’t touch him and his enemies are becoming powerless to take him down. He is intelligent, cunning and above all … alluring. No woman can resist him. But, one woman is determined to bring him down and her reasons are personal. Kayla Donovan has spent years preparing for the time she faces him again and plans on denying Nick as much of her as she can. She knows him, she knows what gets his attention and what he can’t resist. Kayla is the only one that can possibly look into his devilish eyes and not be besieged by them or controlled by a single whisper of his desire. If she is able to manage her fears, then there is no reason for her not to succeed, and if she can’t … well, she has nothing to lose. She has no one left to care about her or to miss her if she fails in her mission. She has no one, not since her beloved sister fell for Nick, became controlled by him, and eventually died because of him.