Authors: Leland Roys
She looked down for a moment. The thought raced through her mind.
“You don’t have a cable, a rope on. That cannot be protocol. Nikki, who did that to you? Your face.”
She reached down and switched off the constant transmit mode on her secondary radio. Eric would be pissed, but she didn’t want him hearing about her not using the cable.
“My face? My eye— Right. It’s nothing. I fell.”
“Someone hit you, I can tell by the shape. What devil would dare strike you?”
Shit. She had already lost control. He had all the power now. He was asking the questions, controlling the conversation. And why, how? Maybe she should jump. It was just a matter of time now anyway. A tear rolled down her face.
“What’s your rate, Nikki? I bet it’s high.”
“I’m 97%, when it’s just me, when I go alone;” she said it without even thinking. She just blurted it out again. He really was ESU. He knew the slang. And she knew. You always knew a fellow squad member. Why didn’t she recognize him? She knew everyone, even the ones retired or kicked out.
“So you saved a lot of souls. You’re a caring person, Nikki. May I ask you a question?”
She nodded. She was at a loss for words.
“You don’t care anymore, do you? About dying I mean. That’s why you don’t use a cable?”
It was over. She had lost it. Her only joy in life had been helping people. She did want to die, she wanted to die so badly. Her mind was spinning. She threw up, soaking her shirt. The wind started to pick up. She opened her eyes wide and looked at him. She looked at him closely this time. He was incredibly handsome, not that she would even usually notice that kind of thing. Tall, tan, built like granite, and dark thick hair; he also had kind eyes, just like he had told her she had. His eyes met hers and time seemed to stop for a second.
“The doctors say maybe two months,” her voice shook. “A lot of pain at the end; actually the pain started already.”
“I am so sorry, Nikki.”
She had told only one other person. She had just given up her closest secret to a complete stranger, a crazy ready to jump. She felt frozen. The thing was, he did look sorry for her. He looked sad, and not for himself, for her. No one else ever had. Almost all of the doctors never did. All the tests, the studies they did on her. She was just a number— a lab rat. A one in a billion genetic anomaly to be studied. They didn’t give a damn about her.
She noticed his face had lost its color suddenly, almost like he was scared. Seconds before, he looked like a guy who wouldn’t be scared of anything.
“Pardon my rudeness, is it a genetic condition?”
“Yes. How— I mean how would you know that? Did you write the note, the note in my locker?”
She looked at his eyes again; it was like he had just realized something very important. She felt totally off guard now; nothing was making sense. How could he possibly guess it was genetic? Most people would assume cancer.
“Note?” he asked. He sounded confused.
“Someone wrote me a note, gave me this address, before the call.”
He put his head down and she thought she heard him swear.
“I didn’t write it, but I think I may know who did.”
“A friend of yours? Someone trying to help you?”
“You could say that. It’s complicated.” She noticed he was looking at her more closely now. And he looked like he was in pain now.
She smiled a bit. “Isn’t it always? With women, I mean.” She made a guess that it was a woman involved in all this.
He looked serious again.
“Have you told anyone else, someone you can talk to?”
“No, no— I don’t. I mean, there is no one anymore. How do you know all this? Do I know you?”
“I wish I could say you did. It would be a great honor to be your friend. You’re a wonderful person, Nikki.”
“Do I get a question now?”
“Of course.”
“So why are you up here?”
“Oh, my dear. I’m afraid that’s a very long story.”
“Well, we are not going anywhere it seems.”
He smiled and laughed. “Are you actually trying to speed this up?”
“No! I mean, of course not. I—” Then it happened. She laughed. She actually laughed. And then even worse, it turned into one of those uncontrollable laughs, like back in high school when you laughed so hard you threw up. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed. It had been ages. She tried so hard to stop; she stared at him, he was laughing hard as well. Tears of laughter rolling down his face.
“Did you feel that? The building—” He looked at her calmly.
She did, and it had calmed her. “Yes, the sway.”
“So you can feel it, too, like the building is talking to you.” he said softly.
“Do you want to go back in now? I will walk in with you.” He seemed so calm.
She felt frozen, dazed. Actually she didn’t want to go back in. This was the happiest, weirdest moment she had experienced in such a long time. She had to snap out of this madness. He was now talking her down from the ledge!
“Yes, yes, let’s do that. She was shaking like crazy now, tears flowing. He was there so fast. He took her hand before she even knew what happened. He took her back through the window.
“Nikki, will you make me a promise?” Alex asked.
She nodded.
“Promise me you will hold on a bit longer. For me?”
“OK.” She felt completely numb, she wasn’t sure what she had just agreed to.
“It was my pleasure to make your acquaintance, Nikki.”
He kissed her hand, and in a flash was outside the window again. He pulled it shut from the outside.
“Shit!” She scrambled back up off the floor and ran to the window and yanked it open.
He was gone.
“Nikki, what’s happening up there? He inside? We lost your secondary radio.”
“He jumped! Damn it, Eric! He jumped!”
“Nikki, come back? No one jumped. We are clear down here. You said he is ESU— Nikki, copy?”
She sat down and pushed herself against the wall. She rubbed her eye where she had been punched, just like he said. She wiped the tears off her face and waited for her team. Her mind was like a blinding white snowstorm. And she was lost inside it.
• • •
Café de Flore
Alex walked to Café de Flore and took his regular seat. A hot cup of coffee awaited him.
How could he be such a fool? He was an idiot, plain and simple. He knew he wouldn’t have to wait long. When he saw her, it was the same. The rush, the pain, the emotions. So strong, overwhelming. He still loved her so deeply.
She sat across from him without saying a word.
“Rebecca.”
“Alexander.”
“So this was all a set up. Another one of their sick games?” he asked.
She sighed and checked her makeup. “Poor Alex. You’re just too good for this world. With all your honor and duty. Won’t you ever learn? Even after all these years?”
“Is her name really Nikki? She has it?”
“She gave you her real name then. See, you still have it, that charm, you never did lose that. I guess you never will. Maybe you can be lovers? The two of you.”
“Stop it, Rebecca. It’s not funny anymore.”
She looked more serious now and turned to him with focus. “You still love me, don’t you?”
He didn’t say anything. He did love her, even after everything. Decades later. He still did.
“Well, I would do it myself, but you know how that turned out the last time. I don’t have the skills like you. You always had a way with it. I guess I got lucky with you.”
“Maybe she wants to die. We don’t know her. Maybe she is ready. We are not gods, Rebecca.”
She tossed a file folder across the table.
“Read up. That’s her life. Everything. Sad actually. She hasn’t had a good time of it so far. You know that can all change. It’s all in there, medical records; she is one of us, Alex. Think about it. How often does this chance come around?”
“What makes you think I will do this?”
“We both know you will. Remember, I know you— honor, love, romance. It’s who you are, Alex. Don’t run from yourself now.”
He looked at her. She was so beautiful. He wanted so badly to look away. She still had him, he was putty in her hands.
“Where have you been?”
“Everywhere. Paris. Rome. The world. I was even a teacher for some time. I suppose you have been here the last 70 years. You waste it you know.
This gift
.”
“Maybe I don’t think it’s a gift.”
She smiled. He was still mesmerized by her smile, it was like nothing had changed.
“Do you remember Paris in the springtime? Making love under the full moon. The spring air like dancing flowers.”
He hesitated. The one place they had not been was Paris. They had planned on it before she left him.
She took his hand softly. He felt that same electricity, the connection. It reminded all his senses of just how much he missed her.
“I remember,” she said quietly, almost as a whisper. “Don’t waste it, Alex.” She started to leave. “I hope it goes well with Nikki.”
He wanted to beg her to stay, say anything, something that would make her understand that he couldn’t live without her another day. Nothing came out. He just sat there and watched her walk away. Just like she had walked away 70 years ago. Gone.
His coffee was refilled as he opened the file.
Nikki Edmanton— 29 years old— one of the youngest and best ESU officers...
Rebecca hadn’t lied. Her life had sucked. Parents died in a car accident when she was 10. Relatives didn’t want her, grew up in foster care. Medical records... she had it— almost one in a billion— the genetic disease was killing her; two months maybe. The pain must be unbearable. He remembered the pain. He could still remember the pain like it was yesterday. Hundreds of years couldn’t erase the memories of that torture.
Pictures of her — jogging, laughing, all types of pictures. She had been happy once. Maybe for a short time it seemed. Then he saw it. A picture of her out cold in a dirty alley. Beaten and left for dead. Her eye, that’s why she had the black eye.
There was a handwritten note:
The drug dealer took his
last breath that night,
you can thank me later. — R.
He slammed the folder shut and spilled some of his coffee. He put his head down to think. Rebecca was right, of course. She was always right. She had tried to do it before. It had to be him if it was going to happen. And she was right about another thing. He would do it. He knew it when he looked into Nikki’s eyes on the ledge. He was already in too deep.
• • •
Records
Nikki was spent after the hours being debriefed. She was as good as fired this time. The guy was in the wind. She just had a name. Alex. And most likely that wasn’t his real name. None of it made sense. She walked down to the Records Division. It was a stupid hunch, he clearly must have been crazy. She didn’t say anything about the note. She knew she should have, the problem was, this was her last day. If she told them about the note, it would be weeks of investigation, and, of course, disciplinary action. It wasn’t worth it. She would be punished enough by death anyway.
Dianne was one of her best friends, or only close friend maybe, other than Eric. She could go to her for almost anything.
“I heard it was wild up there today. What happened, girl?”
“Just a crazy guy. We lost him. He didn’t jump though. At least not today.”
“Ya, they always try again, huh— sad, I guess.”
“Hey, can you do me a favor? A search for a squad member. Going back maybe 10 years or so?”
“Anything for you! Just write down the details; you know I’m a genius with these computers.”
She wrote down his height, must have been about 6’ 2” , 170 pounds or close. Grey-blue eyes, thick black hair with a slight wave. Fit for sure. There was one chance. A tattoo, she had seen it. On his arm. It had an old dagger encrusted with jewels. It seemed to be stabbing an antique looking pocket watch, and wings like from an angel, on both sides. It was unforgettable. She tried her best to remember it and draw it. Nikki’s foster mother was a good artist and had taught her how to sketch.
Dianne scanned the description and drawing. “Wow— sounds like a hunk! Looking for a boyfriend, are we?” She smiled.
“Nah, just a hunch I had about something. It’s a long story.”
“Where is Jake anyway? I thought you were going to marry that one!”
“Oh— he, I mean we decided it wouldn’t work out. It’s for the best.”
“I’m sorry, girl. I have a big mouth. Anyway I’m on it! Go get some rest. You look like hell, girlfriend.”
“Hey, sorry, one more quick one? A drug dealer, well known around here. He would be in the system under the street name of Razor. Could you pull him up?”
“Sure.” She typed it in. She swung the monitor around. “He didn’t have a good night.”
“DOA to the hospital. Full autopsy pending. Throat slit and broken. Massive internal injuries.”
“He was a narc of yours?”
“Ya, Yes. Looks like his time was up.” Nikki felt dizzy and almost fell down.
Nikki’s head was spinning as she sat in the back of the cab. It always trumped anything else. The pain. So bad now that she had turned to street drugs. She had no choice. The hospital shit was useless. It was coming down to morphine; she shivered at the thought.
Nikki didn’t feel like watching the city today. Usually she loved the busy streets, the people-watching. She kept her head down and stared at the dirty floor of the cab.
He kept flashing through her head. Alex. That wasn’t his name, well, what did it matter? He made her laugh, really laugh. Nikki smiled when she thought about it; even the pain didn’t break through for a moment.
Jumper? Maybe he was. She wasn’t sure now. If he was, then it wouldn’t be long before he tried it again. They always did. Almost always. Nikki tried her best to follow up on the people she talked down. Some made it, most didn’t. She remembered Julie— a beautiful sixteen-year old— Nikki had talked her down from the edge. She visited her for months. Julie was doing better now, had a job, even engaged to a nice guy. Those were the ones she tried to remember.