Jamie just raised his eyebrows at me again. I suddenly felt very defensive. And tired.
"What's your problem, Jamie? What did I do to make you so mad at me?" I could hear the edge in my voice.
Jamie heard it too. He stood up straight.
"Oh, I don't know...maybe just that you stood me up for our date is all." Jamie's voice was thick with sarcasm.
"Date? I don't know what you're talking about," I responded, blinking with confusion.
"It's Friday night, isn't it?" Jamie said.
"Yeah, I guess," I said offhandedly. "So what?"
"Don't you remember? We were going to have pizza. Together. Friday night. But, I guess being with him makes you forget everything else." Jamie said
him
with great contempt.
Creasing my forehead in confusion, I said, "Jamie, I don't know what you're talking about."
Jamie pursed his lips together and shook his head. "Yeah, right. You don't know what I'm talking about." Cocking his head towards me, Jamie looked at me with stormy eyes. "Think, Jacey, if you can get him out of your mind for just a minute. Remember, we talked on the phone, just yesterday. You asked ME out." Jamie's words were spoken with such disdain. I thought hard to remember our conversation. But I couldn't get my thoughts past the fight with the Fury.
Shaking my head, I apologized, "I'm sorry, Jamie. I don't remember. I'm really tired and I don't feel like..."
"Are you calling me a liar?" The veins in his neck bulged as he angrily spit out his words.
I blinked my eyes in shock. I had never seen Jamie this angry. He had never lashed out at me before. Tears stung my eyes at his accusation, and I gripped the helmet I was holding even tighter.
"No," I said weakly, my voice catching with emotion.
"And where were you today? Emma said you didn't come to school. Do you know how worried we have all been?" He waived his hand around gesturing dramatically. "And to think you have been with
him
, doing God knows what," Jamie scoffed again, rolling his eyes.
"Jamie, it's not like that," I whispered softly. "It's just not like that." I was getting a headache; the dull thudding pounded at my temples. I started crying.
"Sure, whatever you say," Jamie turned away, opened the door to his Jeep and sped away, leaving his own black marks on the driveway.
"Jamie," I softly cried, as the tears ran down my cheeks. I watched as he sped down the street, much the same as Varick had.
Holding the helmet with one arm, I brushed the tears away with my free hand. My head throbbed and I pressed the heel of my palm on my temple and rubbed. Walking slowly towards the house, I wondered what had just happened.
I reached the front door and retrieved the key hidden under a loose brick at the front of the house. Then I stepped inside the dark house.
It was late and I was very tired. The house was dark and silent. I suddenly felt very alone.
"Varick," I whispered. "I wish you were here." My words sounded loud in the stillness of the house. The grandfather clock answered me, chiming its melody signaling it was half past the hour.
I trudged up to my room, carrying Varick's helmet with me. I flicked on the lamp next to my bed. The soft glow illuminated the room but left dark shadows in the corners. I placed the helmet on my dresser and walked to the bathroom.
I needed a shower first. Hot water soon flowed from the shower head, steam rising from the tub floor. I undressed and got in. The hot water pelting my skin was soothing. My muscles felt sore from the encounter with the Fury. The hot water massaged my tired aching body. Placing my head and face in the hot stream of water, I tried to relax, attempting to focus on the water as it slid over my face and down my body. Though I tried to clear my head, my mind was filled with images of Varick, Jamie, and the Fury. Before I knew it, I was crying again. My body shook with sobs as I released the fears, confusion, and tension of the day. I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking with the tears that fell down my face. I cried until the water ran cold.
My breath came in stuttered gasps, my crying replaced with shivering from the cold water. I turned off the shower and stepped to the mirror, running my hand over it to clear the steam. I stared at my reflection, distorted and blurry from the moisture of the shower. I looked like a mess. My hair fell around my face wet and dripping on my shoulders and down my back. My face was blotchy from crying. My eyes had dark circles under them, a mixture of mascara and exhaustion.
Without drying or combing out my hair, I left the bathroom and walked to my bedroom. I didn't feel up to fighting with my hair, choosing instead to just let it air dry. I pulled out a clean tank top and my favorite thick fleece pajama pants. I dropped the towel, leaving the damp mess on my carpet. I rifled through the hangers of clothing in my small closet until I found my big pink fleece robe. I yanked it off the hanger and wrapped it tightly around my body before I turned off my light and climbed into bed thinking sleep would come quickly.
I closed my eyes tightly. But it didn't come. I tried to force sleep to overtake me. But it didn't work. Rolling onto my back, I stared up at my bedroom ceiling. I knew I was exhausted, but I started assessing my body anyway, trying to determine why I suddenly had insomnia.
My head still throbbed dully, but it was hardly even annoying. My body no longer ached, the muscles soothed by the hot water. I had healed my palms earlier and I ran my fingers over the smooth untarnished skin. I settled on my aching heart. I thought of Varick. I willed myself not to cry as I pictured his face in my mind, the whiteness of his smile and brilliant blueness of his eyes. I wanted to be with him right now, and I silently cursed Asim for taking him from me.
My mind wandered to Jamie and the tears threatened again. I was confused by his anger with me. He had never treated me like that before. Nothing seemed to make sense to me anymore. And I could feel the pounding in my head getting worse. Placing my hands over my eyes, I tried to block the images of Jamie and Varick from my mind.
Then my eyes flew open, my hand covering my mouth. I sat up in bed, crossing my legs as I did. I remembered. My mind cleared for just a minute, just long enough to remember. I
had
asked Jamie over for pizza yesterday. The memory of our conversation when I was sitting in my car at school, came flooding into my consciousness. I
had
asked him out. Although I wouldn't have called it a date like Jamie had. We were just friends planning to hang out and get pizza. At least, that's what I had thought. But maybe Jamie wanted something more.
My face flushed with embarrassment as I pictured a dating relationship with Jamie. That couldn't work. He was one of my best friends, the brother I never had. We could never be more than that, could we? He liked me. More than friends. He liked me.
I slowly lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't know if I felt the same for him. There was no doubt that I cared very deeply for him, and I was grateful that I'd been able to heal him after his fall. However, I didn't love Jamie any more than I loved Emma, as a friend. Or did I? I remembered my need to touch him, to hold his hand. My heart ached as I recalled the feelings he stirred inside me. Maybe I did love him...more than I thought.
Then there was Varick. Jamie's image was replaced by that of my Protector. I had no doubt that I had intense feelings for Varick. He stirred up strong and confusing emotions whenever I saw his face, heard his voice, or felt his touch. My face grew warm as I pictured the two of us in a romantic relationship, more than just Healer and Protector. There was no mistaking the connection the two of us had. But could we make something more out of it? A life of more than just healing and protecting?
Groaning softly, I felt my headache throb more insistently. This was all just too overwhelming and exhausting. I needed to sleep. Only the sweet darkness of sleep could clear my head. I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted to just forget about Jamie, Varick, and the Fury. The Fury. Against my will, my mind settled on the Fury.
A violent shiver racked my body. I rolled onto my side, curled up into myself, and pulled the robe even tighter around me. The Fury. My encounter with the demented creature was even more frightening than my dreams. Just thinking about it made my heart race and my body sweat. I contemplated turning on my lamp like when I was a small child, to make the monsters under my bed disappear. But unlike the monsters of my childhood, this one was real, not just disappearing with a flick of a light.
My head was really pounding now. Pain coursed through my head and down the back of my neck in rhythmic spasms. I thought about healing the headache. But I didn't want to feel the searing burn associated with my power. Healing wasn't exactly a pleasurable experience. Whether I was healing myself or someone else, the burn was painful, even excruciating at times. I winced involuntarily at the memory. Yes, I wasn't going to heal my pounding head tonight. I would just take care of my headache the normal way...with a few ibuprofen.
I crawled out of bed and shuffled my feet to the bathroom. After taking two of the little brown pills, I climbed back into bed. I tried to concentrate on the rhythm of the headache throb to lull me to sleep. It was working. I drifted into the dark peace of sleep.
But, there was no peace in sleep, not tonight. Instead I was fitful, waking up multiple times in the night. My dreams were filled with images of Varick and Jamie. I dreamed of the Fury. Varick came to my rescue in the dream. But I still awoke sweating with a racing heart. I fell asleep again, searching for rest and peace and not finding any. I was bothered by Jamie's anger and I wanted to talk to him. The anxiety over Jamie plagued my dreams the rest of the night.
I woke from that fitful night to a warm, robust aroma filling my nose. Breathing deeply, the rich smell seemed to warm my insides leaving a cozy, safe feeling in the pit of my stomach. I blinked my eyes open; the glare of sunlight signaling morning had arrived. The rich aroma was real. It wasn't part of a dream. It was Oma's Columbian coffee brewing in the kitchen downstairs. I could hear the unmistakable bubbling of the coffee in the electric pot. The clatter of metal pots and pans scraping and cupboard doors squeaking fully woke me. I sat up quickly, swung my legs over the side of the bed, and made a mad dash down the stairs.
I flew around the corner and into the kitchen. Oma was standing at the sink, thawing strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries from the freezer.
I couldn't contain my joy or tears as I ran to Oma and crushed her in a hard embrace. "Oma, you're home. I've missed you so much," I cried, my voice filled with exhaustion and emotion.
"Jacey," Oma chuckled, trying to turn to return the embrace. I loosened by grip on her, just enough so she could maneuver to face me before I tightened my arms around her again.
"Oh, Oma," I moaned into her neck as I buried my head into her body. "I'm so glad you're home. So much has happened..." I breathed in Oma's warm, familiar scent, a mixture of vanilla, cinnamon, and honeysuckle.
Oma rubbed my back with her hands. "Jacey, I've missed you too," she replied quietly. We stood in the kitchen, embracing, the water still running from the faucet onto the mixed berries in the sink.
She released me and pushed me lightly away from her. Her nose crinkled with concern as she assessed my face. "Jacey, honey, you look awful. Didn't sleep well, did you babe?"
I nodded my head, the jerking movement causing my snarled hair to swing around me.
Oma clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Honey you need Oma's special vanilla pecan pancakes with berry compote."
Sniffing, I hugged her again. The embrace was needy, desperate, but it expressed my true feelings. It had been less than a week since I last saw her, but it felt like years. And Oma was right. I was starving.
I nodded again, not wanting to release Oma, but knowing I needed to. She turned back to her berries, taking them from the colander in the sink to a pot on the stove to boil with sugar. I walked over to the cupboard and pulled down two mugs for coffee. When the coffee was done brewing, I poured us each a cup. I kept mine cradled in my hands as I leaned against the counter next to Oma.
Oma was mixing her ingredients for her special pancake batter. I told Oma about school and how glad I was that the Seniors only had exams next week and then it would be graduation.
Oma seemed surprised. "Is it graduation already? We have so much planning to do, for your party that is."
"Emma's parents aren't giving her a party," I said, taking a sip of the rich coffee. "They're just giving her money for college instead."
"No party? Well, that's not very fun." Oma was trying to chop the pecans into smaller bits for the batter. Her hand kept slipping off the knife. "Jacey, could you help me with this?"
Placing my cup on the counter behind me, I took the knife and roughly chopped the bulky pecans.
"My darn arthritis has been acting up. My hands have been so stiff." Oma rubbed her hands together, frowning. "It's tough getting old."
"Oma, you're not old...just...refined," I joked, still chopping.
Oma chuckled. "Always so kind and caring, Jacey. That's my girl." Oma patted my shoulder lightly with her hand. I winced at Oma's statement, thinking of Jamie. I didn't think I had been very kind to him lately.
"Have you been taking your arthritis medication?" I asked, taking the pecans and mixing them into the batter.
"Careful now. If you stir too much or too hard, you'll have rubbery pancakes." Oma stood close to me, supervising my work on her batter.
"Oma, your medication?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder.
"Oh, I don't know. I may have forgotten a day or two what with everything going on." Oma shrugged her shoulders.
"Oma," I chastised. "You need to go in and see Dr. Patin right away. You better make an appointment." I handed her the batter bowl ready for pancakes.
"I know," Oma smiled, testing the griddle with drops of water. They bounced and sizzled indicating the griddle was hot and ready.