Some of her colleagues at school recommended she attend church with them. She thought better of this though after attending a Pentecostal service with one of her co-workers. Initially, she found the church service intriguing and the congregation warm in welcoming her but as the minister’s message grew in intensity so did the congregation until he incited them to feel the work of the Lord at which time they began shouting and running and jumping from one end of the church to the other. It had all been a bit much to swallow. Never had she seen the Holy Spirit manifested in such a way. And although she had taken three years of Spanish in high school she had trouble deciphering the worshipers’ language when they began speaking in tongues. She’d done her best to sit through the service but when they all started
runnin’
and
jumpin
and
hoopin
and
hollerin
she found herself runnin’ too. Only she didn’t stop
runnin’
until she reached her car.
When she returned to school the following Monday, she was so embarrassed that she did her best to avoid the elderly teacher’s assistant that had invited her. She hadn’t meant for her leaving to be considered a personal affront but the woman was offended and it was several months before the two spoke again. Now she made it a policy not to attend the church of someone she knew despite their persistent claims that their church was unlike any other.
Sensing something amiss in her daughter’s tone over the last month, her mother’s phone calls increased. When Mrs. Shipp could not get a feel for Sylvia’s sudden mood change, she informed her daughter that she would be coming to Atlanta to do some shopping and visit her relatives the following weekend.
Sylvia loved Atlanta, loved the feeling of living alone and loved the grind of teaching. However, the enormity of Atlanta could be overwhelming at times. As much as she hated to admit it she missed Peter’s companionship, his calm demeanor and unassuming personality, his attentiveness and his kindness. And she had to force herself not to call him on several occasions. At other times she’d dial his number, wait for him to answer just to hear his voice before hanging up on him. She wondered if he had caller I.D. and really wished he’d call her back. But her wishes went unanswered and by the time the semester came to a close she so desperately missed Peter that she swallowed her pride and called Morehouse to apologize for being so shallow and closed minded and was shocked to find out that Professor Townsend had moved on weeks ago. So devastated by the news of Peter’s departure that Sill seriously considered throwing in the towel and was actually lying across her bed with a bottle of Valium in her hand when she received the call from her mother informing her that she would be in town the following weekend. Sylvia wasn’t sure exactly what she would’ve done if she hadn’t received the call. But when she heard that her mother was coming she was thrilled.
Mrs. Shipp arrived at the Amtrak Station early that Saturday morning with enough boxes and bags to make Sill wonder if she’d already been Christmas shopping. In them, Sill found all of her favorite foods. There was baked and barbequed chicken, rice pudding, shrimp, salsa, pickles her mother had canned as well as a host of other goodies. Sill thought must have surely died and gone to heaven. They shopped most of Saturday afternoon after meeting her cousin and aunt at one of the local malls. By the time they finished shopping, Sill was completely exhausted. But she had to admit that it was the best time she had had in who knows how long. She found her cousin Laurie, a year younger than her and a graduate of Spellman currently working as a CPA in some downtown firm to be crazy and carefree with a great sense of humor.
The physical resemblance between the two young women was nothing short of remarkable. Sill wished now that she had taken her mother’s advice and sought Laurie out when she first arrived instead of that pathetic wretch she’d been wasting her time with. They could have had a ball together. Sill remembered her only vaguely from family reunions and remembered her as being a snotty-nosed little brat who would never share her dolls but boy had time changed her. Not only did she favor Sill in looks, she sounded just like her when it came to men.
When they finally finished shopping it was agreed on by all that the women would meet at Sylvia’s aunt’s house for dinner later that evening. Sylvia, however, insisted on shooting back to her place to freshen up. And since she was still getting to know Atlanta, Laurie volunteered to ride with her so she could show her the way back to her mom’s for dinner. It was an experience Sill would hardly forget. She never remembered Laurie being quite so talkative but what a difference a few years had made.
“Girl, have you been to Shaggy’s?” Laurie asked as soon as they’d gotten in the car.
“No, I really haven’t been anywhere since I’ve been here. Teaching keeps me pretty busy. I don’t really have time to do too much of anything,” Sill answered.
“Girl, you’ve go to go to Shaggy’s.
Tuesdays are the nights to go, girl. It’s men’s lockup. Ladies are admitted free until ten and, Lord knows you’ve got to see the men up in there.
Good God almighty! Talk about some fine ass men! Girl, they got it goin on!
Walkin’ around there in them little g-strings serving drinks. Hell, the first time I went was about two months ago on a payday. I cashed my check before I went. You know to have a little spendin’ change so I could buy a drink or two. It was the first of the month, you know. The mortgage was due, light bill was overdue and they were just about to turn the cable off, so I was feelin’ a little stressed. I was tellin’ one of my girlfriends about my bills and this sorry-ass man I was dating so she suggested we try out this new club downtown, you know, to relieve the stress and shit, so I said sure why the hell not.
Girl, when I got there they dimmed the lights and this tall, fine thang walks up to me. Thought I was gonna pee right there and I ain’t had the first drink yet. Tells me his name is Timothy or something another. I can’t really remember ‘cause all my attention was focused on that little ass piece of string tied around his waist and wonderin’ how that little string could possible hold all of that delicious lookin’ man I was seein’.
By the time Timothy had gotten my order, I’d ordered for everybody at the damn table just trying to keep him there. And not once did my eyes leave that damn string. I don’t even recall his face but I can give you the length, width and diameter of that string and its contents. Girl, let me tell you. By the time the night was over, the mortgage was in default, I was at Family Dollar searchin’ for some damn candles and on my knees up at the cable company beggin’ for an extension.” They both laughed out loud.
“Girl, you need to stop your lyin’,” Sill was laughing so hard the tears rolled down her face. “So, what did you end up doing?” she asked.
“What do you mean
what did I end up doin’?
I got the damn candles, told Timothy I was goin’ to treat him to a candlelight dinner, bought the nigga a value pack from Bojangles, you know, two pieces a chicken and a biscuit and sexed that boy til he was hollerin’ for me to let him go. I hurt him so bad he tol’ me he was goin’ to use the john and ended up sneakin’ out the back door. Shit, the hell if I wasn’t goin’ to get some of my tips back.”
“Damn, if it’s all that I may have to go,” Sill said, tears still streaming down her face.
“Trust me, girlfriend, it’s all that. ‘Cept I never see Timothy anymore so don’t expect to see him when we go,” Laurie said.
“What happened? Did you end his career?”
“No, he’s still there but he runs every time he sees me. Spends all his time in the back. But don’t worry girl. There are plenty of Timothy’s
up in dere.
They’re not supposed to get personal with the customers but you rip a Benjamin in half and tell them to meet you later and they’ll get the other half and trust me you don’t have to worry about whether they’ll get personal. Know what I’m sayin’?
Personal!
Hell, they ain’t makin’ much more than that in a night. So when you see ‘em later and tell ‘em that all you need is an hour or so of their time for a little undercover work you ain’t goin’ to get too many complaints, baby girl. Shit, I had one nigga wanted to give me a refund. Tol’ me the pleasure was his. Let me tell you, girl. I rocked this boy’s boots. He was still cal-lin’ me two weeks later tryin’ to take me out to dinner and what not,” Laurie bragged.
“I know you went?” Sill asked.
“Heck, yeah. Went to the Blue Marlin for some seafood that was out of this world. I don’t know where this fool thought he was takin’ me but he looked shook when I told him I wanted to go to the nicest seafood restaurant in Atlanta. I guess he thought he was takin’ me to Red Lobster or something but I let the brotha know from the outset that this sista don’t do chains,” Laurie said matter-of-factly.
“When the waitress came askin’ me what I wanted for an appetizer and pushin’ this salad up in front of me, I pushed it right on back and ordered the Shrimp Scampi. She gonna’ tell me Shrimp Scampi ain’t considered an appetizer. I said it is today, sista girl. Then for the main course, I ordered a three and a half pound lobster with a baked potato and this witch is still pushing this salad. Anyway, the chef comes to the table. You know, when you order lobster at the Blue Marlin they push this big ol’ aquarium up to the table and I knew that but I tol’ the chef that there’s no need to do that, I’d just go with him and look. See that way I can forget about bein’ a lady and all that. Shit, I’m lookin’ like I just stepped out of
Vogue,
anyway. I got this young boy droolin’, just thinkin’ about dessert.
Anyway, let me finish tellin’ you about the chef and the lobster. I followed the chef over to the tank and get to lookin’ at the lobsters. And, girl, they had some lobsters. Must have been a hundred of them just floatin’ around. So the chef tells me to pick one. Well, the last time I was there, I let the chef pick the lobster and I ended up stoppin’ by the Burger King on the way home. So I said to myself, I’m not goin’ home hungry tonight. Where’s your scale? I must have had the chef weigh twenty-five lobsters before I got a nice size one. Then, I told him to prepare another and put it in a doggy bag and hand it to me on the way out.”
“No, you didn’t!” Sill shouted, laughing.
“Oh, but I did. Girl, if you’ve been around this town as long as I have with these little po’ ass Negroes tryin’ to be playas, you’d better know the tricks of the game. See, the way I figure, if the boy wants to be with me badly enough and feels confident enough to be with one tough, professional Black woman, then he better not come half steppin’. Ain’t no way I can eat out like this every night but I can when I want to with no help from anybody. So if you choose to be with me
I hope to God
you can carry your weight. Don’t come tryin’ to impress me and ain’t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Don’t come pullin’ up to me in no Cadillac Escalade tryin’ to floss and you livin’
with yo’ mama.
Know what I’m sayin’? Anyway, I go back to the table and listen to him talk about himself and how he’s about to drop an album. So, I ask him what he does and of course, he’s a music producer and at the moment he’s in the studio producin’ some chick’s album. So, I’m like, yeah okay, ‘cause every unemployed nigga in Atlanta claims to be a rapper and most of ‘em can’t read or write, let alone rap. But anyway, I’m listenin’ while I finish up the shrimp and wonderin’ how I can ditch this boy before he tries to make a power move at the end of the night. See, I’m thinkin’ the whole time. Ya gotta stay one step ahead of ‘em or you’ll find yourself wrapped up in some shit you can’t get out of.
Well, by this time I’m so full I have to go to the bathroom to let some out before I can put some more in. And just then I see the chef comin’ with my lobster as I’m on my way to the bathroom. He smiles. I smile and that silly waitress is followin’ him with the side orders so I stop her and tell her to bring me a bottle of wine. But on the way, I stop at the bar and order a double
Hennessey
on the rocks, throw that down on the way back to the table and tell the bartender to put it on the tab.
By the time I get back to the table, I’m feelin’ no pain and I’m listenin’ to my boy go on and on about comin’ back from New Jersey where he just finished puttin’ the finishin’ touches on Kem’s new album and now I know he’s lyin’ but I don’t say anything, not a goddamn word. I’m thinkin’ he can have his lies. I’m gonna have this lobster. Talk about somethin’ good. By this time, I’m sippin’ the wine, the
Hennessy’s
hittin’, pieces of shell are flyin’ over to the next table, I’m dippin’ that lobster tail in the butter and got lobster and everything else hangin’ from my mouth. Shit, I’m havin’ a goddamn ball and he’s still runnin’ his mouth tellin’ these fantabulous lies about how absolutely niggariffic he is like he’s the Second Coming or some shit.
Now it’s about this time that I start thinkin’ about dessert and this delicious looking hot-fudge brownie that I saw on the menu. So, I ordered that and figured I’d better keep this fool talkin’ cause he sure ain’t gonna be able to say anything when the bill arrives. Plus, I want to make him think that I’m really interested in what he’s sayin’ so he don’t wanna whoop my ass when he drops me off and I don’t give him any.” Laurie paused to light a cigarette.
“So, go ahead, what happened?” Sill asked with baited breath.
“Well, I’m talkin’ to him askin’ him ‘bout his producin’ and all and then I get around to who he’s produced and he starts namin’ stars. I figured he’d bring up some no-name artists and tell me he was just gettin’ his feet wet but no, this fool starts namin’ names like Keith Sweat, Kelly Price, Jaheim, you know, the big names so I’m thinkin’ to myself, this boy’s a pathological liar if I ever did see one. Here he is dancin’ in Shaggy’s on Tuesday nights and drivin’ this beat-up Toyota Corolla pickup and he’s gonna tell me he’s producin’ megastars.
That’s when it dawned on me that the fool was crazy. I lost my appetite right then and there and told him it was time to go. I said any nigga with this active an imagination is liable to do anything ‘cause all the bricks ain’t in the wagon. Now, I’m scared that when the check comes he’s gonna make a scene right there but at least we’re in a crowded restaurant so he won’t be so apt to whoop my ass right there. When the check came, it was a hundred and thirty two dollars which really wasn’t bad. But to be on the safe side I decided to head back to the ladies room just in case he needed some time and space to vent.