"I know. It just sucks is all."
"You're tellin' me. Just remember, nothin' is set in stone yet. We can always figure out somethin' else."
"No, this
is
what I want. I want you to be happy. I can manage bein' alone for a bit."
"Good. There are just some things that I need to take care of before it's official." I thought I muttered it under my breath, but boy was I wrong.
"What do you mean,
some
things?"
"Nothin' darlin', it's nothin' you need to worry about."
"It doesn't seem like nothing, Madison."
I cradled her face in my hands and looked her right in her piercing eyes. "I promise, you have nothing to worry about. Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do."
"Okay then." I pulled her in for a long kiss before pulling her to her feet. "Come on, let's get you and our baby somethin' to eat."
We walked hand in hand back to my house. When we walked in, my gran sat at the kitchen table looking lost. She hadn't been dealing so well with losin' my grandfather, but she was rarely in this shape. I let go of the tight grip I had on Kayla's hands and made my way over to my gran.
"Gran, what's goin' on?"
She turned abruptly as though my presence had scared her. Although, I could've sworn she heard us come in.
"Oh Madi, you're home. How's Kayla?"
"She's actually here with me Gran. Is everything alright?"
"Yes dear. Hi Kayla, love. You two kids hungry? I can whip up some quick dinner."
"No Gran, it's okay. I can cook for us. Do you want somethin'?"
"No hun, I'm just gonna go lay down for a bit."
My gran's actions and behavior were completely out of character for her. Something was definitely up, and I know she felt as though she was protecting me, but I needed to know what was goin' on.
Kayla
I'd never seen Madison's grandmother act the way she just had. I was completely baffled. What the hell was goin' on with everyone? I reached for Madison's hand to reassure him, of what I wasn't sure, but it just felt like the right thing to do. I was dismayed when he jerked it away from me and headed into the kitchen. Between my raging hormones, Madison's grandfather passing away and everything else, I was about to become unglued. I could feel the unshed tears welling up behind my eyelids, preparing to fall, so I turned and ran out the back door.
I knew Madison hadn't followed me, when I reached the tree in between our properties and I didn't hear any footsteps. Maybe he just needed some time. Lord knows I did. I grabbed my cell phone out of my boot, ready to call Cami and pour my heart out, but something stopped me. I suddenly had a very overwhelming feeling of fear wash over me. I glanced around in every direction, making sure I was alone.
The last sliver of sun was starting to dip below the horizon, and it grew increasingly dark, fast. My mind kept flashing back to the horrible event that had taken place out here the night Madison left. I wasn't a big fan of the dark before that night, and it had increasingly become scarier to be alone.
I quickly started making my way back to my house, glancing behind me every two seconds. I knew running wasn't exactly good for the baby, but my body was yelling at me to flee for my life, so I ran. I ran so fast that I could barely catch my breath after finally making it onto the porch. I sat down in one of the rocking chairs, waiting for my small lungs to finish spasming. Just as I started to calm and my breathing evened itself out, my phone rang and I jumped up from my chair ready to haul ass inside.
When I saw Madison's face illuminate the screen, I clicked ignore and proceeded to see what was for dinner. Unfortunately, as I entered the house, I ran straight into an argument I knew was inevitable, but still scary all the same. My grandparents were standing in the living room, but from my hidden position, I decided to eaves drop.
"She's only seventeen. How could this have happened? I told him to stay away from her. Why that damn boy just can't listen, is beyond me."
"Calm down Jasper. I know this isn't the ideal situation, but that boy loves her and he will do right by her. He practically planned out their entire future for you, and I could tell that didn't make our little girl happy in the least."
I peeked around the corner as the house fell silent. It was eerily quiet and when I caught sight of the two of them, it looked as though my granddad was cryin'. He turned rapidly towards my grandmamma before he pulled her into a deep hug.
"This just isn't the life that I wanted for her. I know she'll be an amazin' momma, but I fear that she doesn't know that. After everything that evil mother of hers put her through, I reckon she second guesses herself every minute of everyday as it is."
A stray tear rolled down my cheek and landed on my shirt as the weight of his words settled into my chest. He was right, about everything. I have always questioned myself because of my mother. I had always felt less than a person and never felt worthy of anybody's love, let alone a poor helpless child. What if I turn out to be exactly like my mother? I now had a better understanding as to how Madison has felt his whole life. I quietly turned on my heel, making my way back outside and onto the porch. I looked out over the expansive land wondering how this all was supposed to work out for us. We couldn't live at our grandparents for the rest of our lives. We needed a plan. One that would work for
both
of us.
Just as I sat down in the rocking chair in the far corner, I heard Madison's voice break through the silent darkness.
"Are you ignorin' me now? Kayla, after everything that has happened, you can't just ignore my phone calls. I worry too much about you."
"I'm sorry." It was the only thing I could think to say at the moment. My mind was goin' about a million miles an hour tryin' to process the events of the last three days. Madison sat next to me, but he felt a state away. I needed him to understand what I was feeling, good and bad. "What if I'm not enough for our baby? What if I turn out like my mother?"
Madison was instantly at my side, kneeling down in front of me.
"Look at me, pretty girl. You are more than enough for this baby. He or she will love you unconditionally and without question, just as I do. We will make this work, I can promise you that much."
I lifted my eyes enough so that I was looking directly at him. He literally took my breath away. Everything about him made me
want
to be the mother and wife he thought I could be. He deserved that much from me. The palm of his hand cupped my cheek and I pushed into it, like a cat wanting to be petted. His touch only intensified my feelings and I never wanted this feeling to end.
"I believe you." I whispered.
We sat in silence for a little while longer, when I finally decided to tell him about the text message.
"Madison, I need to tell you something. I guess show you, would be the better term."
"What is it, darlin'?"
I slipped my hand into my boot to retrieve my phone. Just as I opened up the text message, his phone began to ring, startling me to no end.
"Hold that thought." He put his finger up to tell me one second, as he walked away to answer his call.
I couldn't hear much from where I sat, but I listened intently as he nodded his head saying yes, I understand and no. I fiddled with the hem on my dress as I sat patiently waiting for him to finish up. Then I heard the anger laced between every last word he spoke.
"Don't you fuckin' dare. I will take care of it."
He came sauntering back over to me and I couldn't hide the perplexed look on my face. Madison rarely got mad and he rarely used language like that with that much hostility behind them.
"Who was that?"
"No one you need to concern yourself with. I have an errand to run, you gonna be okay? Are we okay?"
"Of course, cowboy. Go do what you need to do."
He lightly kissed my forehead, "I love you Kayla James."
"I love you too." The words felt more like a good-bye than a see ya later, and I found myself extremely worried.
A few minutes later, Madison was gone and I was left alone. I watched him jog up the hill and disappear into the dark. A part of me wanted to follow him, to know exactly what he was up to. I just couldn't bring myself to do it though. I trusted him, and if it were something life or death, I knew deep down that he would've told me.
I made my way inside the house and could instantly smell dinner cooking on the stove. The aroma of spices and butter assaulted my sense of smell and I ran full speed for the bathroom. When I was done emptying the contents of my stomach, which at this point was nothing, I walked back out to join my grandparents.
"Dinner smells delicious Grams. What are we havin'?"
"I figured I would make something simple. Spaghetti sound okay to you?"
"Sounds great." I lied.
After dinner, I helped my grams clear off the table and load the dishwasher. It had now been two hours since Madison had left, and something inside of me felt off, wrong even. I had the feeling that something bad was about to happen and there wasn't a damn thing I could do.
Madison
It felt like a scene from a movie playin' out in front of me. After my phone call with Joey, I had to come and see for myself. I didn't doubt what Joey had seen, but part of me wished it weren't true. Sure as shit though, it was. As I pulled into the parking lot at the seedy motel, I watched as he sat with Wren at a nearby picnic table, deep in conversation. I couldn't put into words what I was feeling at that very moment, but all I could see was red.
I kept my distance tryin' to hear what they were discussing, when I heard Kayla's name come out of Wren's mouth. My fists clenched at my sides and my mouth went dry. I could feel the adrenaline flowing through my body and without a second thought, I ran in the direction of the two most evil men I had ever come across.
My fist connected with Wren's jaw, sending him down to the ground. I made sure he didn't move before I lunged at my father and tackled him down to the ground next to Wren. I started working his face over when I felt someone tugging on me from behind. When I turned, I came face to face with Joey and Wren. Joey had him in a tight headlock, restricting his breathing.
I nodded at Joey in appreciation for his help, but couldn't find the words to say it. I pulled my father up and tossed him onto the picnic table.
"I called the cops, Madison. They should be here shortly."
"I appreciate it Jo, but I need to handle this myself. I need you to leave, now!"
"Whatever you say, bro."
He sat Wren down at the table next to my father. I made sure Joey was gone before I turned back to threaten the lives of these two.
"Does it bother you that I've had your girlfriend in more ways than you?" His words made my stomach roll and my rage intensify.
"I'm warning you now, shut your fuckin' mouth, or I'll make sure you're dead this time."
"The night you left her all alone out there in that field, she was begging for me to do the things I did. She craved it, begging for more the entire time."
I pulled my grandfather's .48 from my waistband and pistol-whipped him across the face. "I told you to shut the fuck up."
Just as Joey's taillights disappeared, I turned my attention back to the task at hand. My father was coming to, when I pointed the pistol directly at Wren.
"There comes a point in everyone's life, when they have to make a decision. A decision on what is best. I made my decision a long time ago, but unfortunately, you didn't quite understand. You were supposed to die, both of you, not just her mother. I had planned it perfectly, but you just had to come back and make me do it all over again. So, any last words before you meet your maker?"
A smug grin fell across his face and I had to stop myself from shooting him right then. I needed to hear him say he was ready to die. I needed the confirmation that what I was doin' was what was best for Kayla.
"Son, what the fuck do you think you're doin'?"
I pointed the gun at my father now. "You'll get your chance to speak. Now is not that time."
The gun was now back on Wren. "Well?"
"I can die happy knowing that the baby that your precious little whore is carrying, is mine. I should've killed her when I had the chance. I should've made her regret the day she ever met me. What I regret most, is not ripping her in two-"
I cocked the gun back and squeezed the trigger without hesitation, just as Wren lunged at me. We fell to the ground and the gun went sliding across the dirt and under the table. I dodged his fists a few times before one eventually landed on my nose. Blood flew and splattered the front of his shirt as I heard the cracking of the bone. I tried to buck him off of me, when I heard the distinct sound of a bullet loading into the chamber. I looked over Wren's shoulder and found my father standin' behind him, pointing that gun, straight at me.
"Get off my boy, Wren. This isn't how it's supposed to go down. I told you, you can have her, and I get him."
My body filled with rage at the mere thought of Wren gettin' his hands on my girl. My girl that was pregnant with
my
baby. I bucked harder this time and Wren went flyin' off of me. I scampered to my feet, lookin' straight down the barrel of that gun. I wanted to believe that my father wouldn't shoot me, but honestly, I didn't know this man standin' in front of me anymore.