The Heart (10 page)

“It can wait,” Jack offered, completely oblivious to Jules’ reaction. After three liquor-filled teas, I suddenly found it all hilarious. Jack eyed me with curiosity as I chuckled at my own thoughts. His eyes were zeroed in on me, and suddenly his invitation seemed more than appealing. “I can be there in an hour or so—”

“Hellooooo,” Jamie call out as she walked up the steps with her own crazy brand of commentary. Jack and I stared at one another with amused grins.

“Up on the deck,” Jules called out as she pulled her hair into a tight, neat bun.

“Jesus, what a day. I swear to God, Dr. Nichols is going deaf and if All-Hands Fischer accidentally grabs my ass one more time…Anyway, damn this place was hard to find, Rose. You’ve been holding out on us.” I knew the minute she saw Jack, due to the fact that she made it fairly obvious. “Where
are
you bitches hiding—holy fuckello,” Jamie sputtered out as she set down her bag and sauntered her way over to Jack without so much as a glance in Jules and my direction. “My name’s Jamie.”

“Jack,” he said politely with a nod and the smile of all smiles.

“You don’t eat processed meat do you?”

Jules and I burst into laughter as Jack raised a brow at her and took her offered hand with a chuckle.

“Not recently, no.”

“Perfect,” she said, shaking his hand a little longer than necessary.

I held out my hand with a snap toward Jules, and she gave me a wicked smirk as she handed me the water bottle. I shot a few sprays on the back of Jamie’s thighs and she jumped to attention.

“Jamie, drink mixes are on the kitchen counter,” I said, trying my best to divert her attention from the golden god consuming all of the intelligence out of the three of us. We were adults, and yet with Jack around, we showed no signs of being mature women. Jack had that effect. Even as I scorned Jamie internally for making a fool out of herself, I was just as enamored by his perfection. I almost groaned as I thought of how close he’d been to kissing me the night before.

“I’m obviously interrupting your plans, ladies. I’ll make myself scarce,” Jack mused at Jamie, who was blocking his path to freedom. Jamie, seeming to snap out of her daze, gave Jack a huge tooth-filled smile as she did what she could to keep him from leaving.

“Would you like a drink?”

“No, thank you. I’m working today.” He turned to me, his blue-gray eyes swallowing me whole in my bikini. “How about that ride... later?”

“Okay,” I said without hesitation. “Thanks for coming by, Jack.”

He gave me a knowing grin. “Nice to meet you, ladies,” he offered, making a quick move to get out of the den full of hungry women, myself included.

After Jack disappeared from sight, Jamie turned to me expectantly at the exact moment as Jules. I shrugged, grabbed our empty glasses, and walked into my kitchen as they followed close on my heels.

“You two just made total asses of yourselves,” I scorned as I replenished the glasses with ice.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man that fucking hot in my life,” Jamie said, looking back in the direction Jack left. “Seriously, you guys could have warned me... you know given a bird call... something!”

I shook the bottle of mix as I scorned her. “Uh huh, well, your flirting was shameless. What about Bart?”

“Oh God,” she said animatedly as she braced herself on the counter. “He works out naked.”

I rolled my eyes as she continued. “Just hear me out. I was fine with it at first... but... okay, but... have you ever seen a man do naked jumping jacks? Things were just flying everywhere! Seriously, ladies, no... just no.”

“You could ask him to cover up,” I said through a laugh.

“I will never get that picture out of my head,” she groaned. “It’s like there are no normal men out there anymore. Why do the ones I pick have to have the strangest habits? I’m on hiatus as of this moment. One month.”

Jules remained quiet but entertained as she looked at Jamie then me for an explanation, her olive skin darkened by the second from our short time in the sun.

Before she could give me any verbal grief, I came clean. “He’s a contractor, lives in New Orleans, and he’s installing all the medical equipment for the center.”

“You didn’t say a word,” Jules said, sizing me up as I poured our drinks.

“Because there’s nothing to tell. He took me for a ride last night on his motorcycle. It stayed PG.” I was lying, but I didn’t know any woman who would openly admit she was so hard up she’d had an orgasm on the back of a Harley. I looked between them. “Look, make your play if you want. We’re just friends.”

“No you aren’t,” Jules said, taking her drink. “At least he’s not interested in just friendship with you.”

“I hate to admit it,” Jamie said, tapping a manicured nail against the side of her glass, “but she’s right. He was looking at you like he wanted to tear your ass apart.” A small amount of pride swelled within me. I knew my attraction to Jack was sexual, because honestly I had nothing to go on other than small conversation, but I loved that the girls picked up on it.

Jamie took a long drink of her spiked tea and gave me a wink. “I’m seriously depressed I can’t have him.”

Jamie wasn’t far away from Jules in the looks department. She too was a dark haired beauty but with soft brown eyes and was much taller. She looked like a million bucks in her flowered swimsuit cover up, and I had to admit, as I noted her shiny, raven hair, and curvy figure, that it impressed me that other than friendly pleasantries, Jack hadn’t paid neither of my beautiful friends any attention. The pride within me swelled a little bigger as I became more excited about our ride later. I knew without a doubt that I wanted Jack to kiss me and let my thoughts wander for a brief moment as a smile crept across my face.

“Good lord, he’s going to break the seal,” Jamie said, grinning at me after she read my thoughts.

“Finally,” they both said in unison, chuckling at each other.

“I don’t know. Maybe? I’m not in the business of denying the obvious. He is good looking,” I said, leading them back to the deck, fresh drinks in hand. “But I still don’t know if I’m ready to take
that
leap.”

We lay side-by-side, sipping our drinks as the girls grilled me more on Jack.

“I just met him. Seriously, I don’t know much.”

“Well, I say give in to him, and I mean take it
all
out on him, girl. He’s hot, short-term, and seems nice enough. There’s never been a more perfect time for you,” Jamie said, giving me a wink.

“She’s right,” Jules said, looking at me with concern. “You can keep waiting but for what?”

I nodded, taking another small sip of my drink, not agreeing or disagreeing with either of them, but at the same time glad I’d invited them over because I knew I needed the confidence they were giving me. Whether I admitted it to myself or not, I was suddenly aware it was a big deal that I was considering being intimate with a man again. It was the last hurdle, so to speak, the biggest Band-Aid.

The truth was, I had spent a fair amount of time thinking about Jack in a sexual sense. I hadn’t worried about the lasting effect it might have on me if we were intimate or if either of us wanted more. The girls seemed to assume he wouldn’t be anything other than a conquest for me, and for some reason, that bothered me. Maybe because he was a nice guy and objectifying him felt wrong or maybe because he was the first man I’d really been attracted to since Grant.

“I’ve been doing some things on impulse lately,” I said, nodding over to my new car that was parked in the driveway. “I may need to reel it in a bit.”

“Holy shit, I didn’t even notice it,” Jamie noted as she studied my car then turned to me. “You are in the mood for change. Don’t let if freak you out, Rose. Seriously, you need it.” She looked back at my car. “I’m officially jealous.”

“Don’t be, you have no idea what I’m paying for it,” I said, wiping my hand down my face. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing right now.”

“Rose, you can either live with it or you can’t. Whatever you choose, we’ve got your back,” Jules said before sliding her sunglasses back on and resuming her sunbathing.

“Agreed,” Jamie said as she rubbed oil over her legs. “But if you pass on him—”

“You’ll be the first to know,” I said with a chuckle.

The girls packed up right after sunset and two hours of sobering up then made their way home. I sat on my deck in a comfortable lounger as I waited for Jack, staring at the initials carved in Grant’s tree. Tiny branches were making their way out of the etched writing, and I wondered if I should pluck them out or if the new growth was somehow telling me what everyone else was: that it was time to move on. I was ready, but at the same time in no way prepared to be let down. A majority of my grieving had to do with the fact that I had known a love so incredible, so unique, I was sure I’d never be given the same gift twice.

“You are every dream I’ve ever had.”

I shot awake in the deck chair as Grant’s voice echoed through my thoughts then shivered as I let out a pained cry. I’d just seen him. He’d just been there. Grant was just in front of me.

It had been so real.

I burst into tears and hugged myself, gripping the top of my shoulders as I began to sob. I barely heard Jack’s faint “Rose?” and was unable to respond, paralyzed in my state. Suddenly, I felt his strong arms encase me and didn’t think at all as I clung to him, greedy for the comfort. I cried into Jack’s shoulder as jagged pain coursed through my every limb.

The pain was so intense, I couldn’t believe how close it was to the same unforgiving heartache I’d felt the hours, days, and endless weeks after his death. It had been months since I’d dreamed of him so vividly. It haunted me as I shook in a stranger’s arms.

I couldn’t understand it. Why did this hurt so much more? Everything I loved about him had been thrust in front of me so clearly. I could still feel him all around me. I held on to it as long as I could as I allowed the tears to fall freely and let the hurt of abandonment have its way with me. I knew the pain, the god-awful pain so well. It had become second nature in the year that followed Grant’s sudden death, and yet it had felt like forever since it had consumed me. I’d been a fool to think I was free.

Suddenly aware I was crying and Jack was the one consoling me, I pulled away and wiped my face. “God, I’m sorry. I must’ve had a dream.”

Jack looked down at me, concern written all over his features. “I don’t know much about you, Rose Whittaker, but I do know without a doubt I
hate
seeing you cry.”

“I don’t even know where this came from,” I said, trying to gather my dignity.

“Well,” he said, pushing my hair behind my bare shoulder and staring at the newly unveiled skin, “Maybe you needed it. Sometimes the body has a way of ridding itself on our behalf.”

I was stunned by Jack’s words and their depth. We stared at each other for a long minute, me still shaking slightly as I pulled my knees up in the chair and hugged them to me, him sitting next to me, rubbing my shoulders before he slid them down my arms in a soothing manner. I did my best to shake off my emotion and the lingering effects of my dream. Jack stayed quiet, a calming presence while I gathered myself. I found myself thankful that he was there. Something about his strength and confidence put me at ease.

“You really were raised by more women than men, huh?” I said, admiring him again. He was freshly showered and in a dark blue dress shirt, jeans, and the same shiny black boots as the night before. His smell hit me next as I appreciated the mix of gold and sand in his hair. All I could think as I watched him watch me was: were the girls right?

What if?

I gave him a small grin despite the sick but dissipating feeling in my gut. “You are quite the gentlemen, Jack.”

He returned my grin as he removed his hands. I felt their absence immediately, their warmth gone.

“I try,” he said, surveying me once more with concern. “You okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. I’m embarrassed but okay, thank you.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, but it must have been some dream.”

“It was,” I replied, not meeting his eyes. His voice soothed me as I took a deep breath, finally able to shake the rest of it off.

I looked toward the driveway, expecting to see his bike but came up empty. “I thought we were going for a ride?”

“We are,” he said, jutting his chin out toward my Tesla.

“Oh,” I said, a little relieved I wouldn’t have to fight his Harley again for my dignity. “Okay, I’ll grab the keys.”

I walked inside the house, shivered from the coolness of the air conditioning, and caught my reflection in the mirror. I was flushed and my cheeks were tear stained, but I was smiling. I couldn’t believe the sight in front of me. It was me, but not the me I was used to seeing when I looked at my reflection. This was a version of me that I hadn’t seen in years. She was a little more loose and carefree, even with the recent emotional outburst. I grabbed the keys and met Jack back on the porch. He was leaning against the deck railing on his forearms, his back to me.

“There’s something special about this place,” he said, studying the ducks as one by one they took their turn getting into then gliding across the still water in a perfect pattern, leaving ripples in their wake.