The Heart That Lies (17 page)

Anna began to worry that she would never finish the gloves she was making for Meldon in time to give them to him before the ball. It had occurred to her whilst he was in Kent that she could give him another present that might mean more to him than her poem and, recalling the excessive care that he took of his hands, thought that gloves might be an appropriate gift. She could not, however, get rid of the idea that it was vanity on Meldon’s part to wear gloves all the time, as if his beautiful hands needed protection. It was only when she heard him playing the piano that she realised it was not affectation; he was protecting his hands so that he might continue to play. The grief that he had caused that same evening was not, in her opinion, a good reason not to show the proper gratitude of a homeless guest to the man who had provided her with shelter all this time, even if that was not how she saw her situation herself.

She had sought out Perkins and explained her plan to him and Perkins had agreed that a pair of gloves would not only be a suitable gift for his lordship, but would also be a welcome one. He had given her a pair of old gloves that she might use as a pattern and, when Meldon had next offered to drive her into the town,
she had gone with him into the haberdasher’s and bought some fabric, whilst pretending to be buying trimmings for her gown. As soon as they entered, Mr Thomas had greeted Meldon enthusiastically and led him to the far end of the shop where he kept a stock of good quality gloves for just such an occasion.

“Do you mind if I leave you here with Mrs Thomas?” he had asked and, for a moment, Anna had had the impression that if she had said she did mind, he would have given up the pleasure of inspecting Mr Thomas’ new stock for her sake
and not out of politeness.

“Not at all,” she had said, wishing that she could have tested her theory.

Mrs Thomas had been extremely helpful when Anna had explained what she was doing and they had decided on a fabric that would lend itself well to the embroidered detail that Anna intended to add to it.

She had started well, sewing in the morning light in the library, when she should have been writing, but now she never knew when he might visit her there. There was no pattern to his visits, except that he never stayed longer than an hour. Then she knew she could sew until she was called away to dine. Asking for another candle for her bedroom would not necessarily give rise to questions, but Meldon would wonder what she was doing that required so much light.

Finally she enlisted Perkins’ help and he found her an additional candle so that she might rise early and sew before she rode out with Meldon in the morning. Now time was running out and there were more demands on her time. Her own clothes had to be made ready for the ball; she was invited to play cards with Finch and Meldon each evening; Simpson continued bringing questions about the ball to her as he had begun during Meldon’s absence in Kent and, as the countess wanted to change all the arrangements, Anna was constantly in demand as a peacemaker between them. She had known that the library could not continue to be her refuge as guests started to arrive, no matter what Meldon might say and now her bedroom was her only private place.

Two days after Finch, Lady Caroline arrived with her husband, some of her children and her father-in-law. Anna welcomed their presence.

For reasons she didn’t understand
, her dealings with Meldon were more tense than ever and Finch, from whom she would willingly have taken some advice, seemed to be avoiding her altogether. Lady Caroline’s arrival filled the house with noise and bustle. The general and Arthur Warren found their way to the billiard room with Meldon and Finch and Anna sat with Lady Caroline and the countess.

Lady Caroline brought all the gossip from London. The countess feigned interest, but Anna thought she cared little for what was
happening so far away.  For her part, Anna was happy to hear about some of the people she had known in London, but her mind was with Meldon and how she might find her way back to the easiness they had come to know in one another’s company more recently.

The ball was only two days away and she must have an answer
ready for Carstairs. He had promised to wait until then, but each day since he had visited the house he had sent her a small gift. Anna had found each one an insult and suspected that Meldon had felt the insult as well. For a man who was little more than a stranger to act in such a way was the height of bad manners, but the longer she stayed at Meldon Hall the more difficult it would be to leave and she wondered if she shouldn’t accept the first offer that came, even if it came from Carstairs. Meldon was so rarely in Hampshire that she need not see him much after the marriage. If only Carstairs were a man more to be admired or respected.

“Anna, dear, are you unwell? You seem distracted.”

Lady Caroline’s voice showed her concern.

“I’m sorry, I was thinking about something else.”

The countess smiled indulgently. “Balls always make young women silly.”

“’Silly’ is not a word I should ever use to describe Anna, Mother.
” Lady Caroline turned back to the younger woman. “You look worried.”

“In a way I was thinking about the ball. Mr Carstairs, a neighbour of Lord Meldon’s, wishes to
marry me and has asked for an answer at the ball.”

“That impatient fop!” said the countess.
“You should have given him his answer there and then.”

“I did not understand his relationship with Lord Meldon and the damage a refusal might cause.”

“Does George know about this?” asked Lady Caroline.

“Yes, he offered to investigate Mr Carstairs’ character.”

“Oh.” Lady Caroline’s disappointment was obvious. “George’s understanding of what is and is not acceptable in his own house seems somewhat lacking. But you will at least have the satisfaction of sending him away at the ball.”

“But I must marry,” said Anna quietly.

“You would marry a man who has the bad manners to propose marriage the first time you met him?” The countess was outraged.

“I cannot rely
on Lord Meldon’s generosity forever.” Anna knew that she had said too much, for Lady Caroline’s lips became thin as she controlled her anger. She stood.

“Excuse me, Mother, Anna. I must
walk for a while to consider what to do.”

“Please, do nothing, Caro.”

“Anna, you can’t just marry the first man who asks you.”

“
There might not be a second.”

“Then stay here with me. Anna, you have filled a space I didn’t even know was empty.”
The countess’ voice was gentle and persuasive. For a moment Anna allowed herself to consider the offer.

“Thank you, Lady Meldon, you are very generous, but...”

“Say no more, Anna. I believe I understand your difficulty.”

“I doubt it, Caro, but I do not believe that you can change things.”

Lady Caroline sat again, her face angry. “You are right, of course. I do not understand the difficulty.”

If Anna understood the look on her friend
’s face, it would not be long before she did, one way or the other.

Meldon was working
in his office when his sister found him. The general had indicated that he wanted to talk to him, but they could not do so in the house, for Meldon could not say with certainty that no one in his household was a spy for the French. Meldon was trying to manufacture a reason to leave the house with the general, but without his brother-in-law. If the sheep arrived today they might provide the reason.

“So this is where you’re hiding.”

Caro’s passion surprised him. She was usually self-controlled, but now she was so furious that she was shaking.

“I am not hiding. I am working.”

“Why do you think I allowed you to act with such impropriety and danger to her health in bringing Anna here?”

Meldon flinched under the force of her anger.

“I believe you hoped I would propose to her.” Meldon’s calm seemed to have the opposite effect to what he had hoped.

“Why haven’t you?”

Meldon began to fear that the servants would hear her raised voice.

“That is of no concern to you.” He opened the ledger on his desk in the hope that she would leave.

“I
am her friend. I practically forced her to come here with you. Do you not love her? Was I mistaken in that?” She closed the ledger with a sudden movement that almost trapped his hand between its pages. Now he looked up at her.

“You are on dangerous ground, Caro.”

“You will lose her to your neighbour Carstairs.”

“I believe he has indicated that he wishes to
marry her.” Meldon noticed that his hands were shaking in his effort to control his own anger, whether with himself or with Carstairs he did not know.

“Why haven’t you proposed to her, George?”
Meldon recognised this tone. Caro felt her responsibility as his older sister, but she was always careful to let him know that she loved him even during their most violent arguments. Usually he responded in kind, but today he could not. He could not share Anna’s story with her, no matter how much she provoked him.

“I told you that
this is not your concern.”

“You’re not
proud and you don’t care what others think, so it’s not the difference in station that bothers you. Although I should tell you that I believe she’s not a gentleman’s daughter.” As Meldon started to object, she said, “She’s a lady, George, don’t pretend you don’t think so, too.” Meldon refused to be drawn and he did not point out the error in her logic, but Caro continued. “She’s not already married otherwise she would not be considering Mr Carstairs’ offer.”

Meldon sank back into his chair.

“So, she is considering his offer.”

Caro said nothing for a moment as she looked at her brother.
She stroked the back of the hand closest to her.

“It seems you have made it quite clear that she must leave here. Mr Carstairs is the first to make that possible. George, I don’t know Mr Carstairs,
but I don’t think Anna would be happy with him. I don’t think she would be happy with anyone but...”

“Miss Smith will receive another offer,”
interrupted Meldon as if he had not heard her, “from Finch.”

Caro sank into the
other chair in the office. “Finch? Why would he...? I know that you hold him in high regard, but would you stand aside for him? Could you?”

No! Meldon wanted to shout that he would kill any man before he’d let him touch
Anna, even Finch.

“I told you you were on dangerous ground.”

“So you did. Why did you bring her here, George? Why did you let her...”

“You wouldn’t take her, Caro. Who else could I leave her with?
”

The lie came easily, anything to make her stop this.

“How will I ever make this up to her?”

Meldon was surprised by the depth of his sister’s sorrow.

“She will be happy with Finch.”

“Oh, you are such a fool. If you spent less
time thinking about Anna and more time talking to her... Please, George, do that for her at least.”

“I spend a lot of
time with Miss Smith.”

“Mother says you play cards together with Perkins in attendance.”

“I am mindful of her reputation.”

“And Anna spends most of the day alone in the library.”

“She writes poetry. Sometimes I sit with her. We ride out together every morning.”

“And inspect cottages.
” She rose from the chair and stood over him again. She had had many years practice using her impressive height and her additional fifteen years to dominate him. “Don’t you know how to court a woman?”

Lady Caroline was angry again and Meldon slammed his hand on the top of his desk.

“Enough! She will marry Finch and that’s an end to it.”

“I think it might be the end of you.”

Lady Caroline swept out of the small room.

Meldon made a cradle of his arms and dropped his head onto
them. He knew that she was right.

After dinner the general had made it clear that he wished to speak to Meldon and Finch alone. Since Vincent’s death Meldon had had doubts about his household. He was certain that one of them had sent Vincent into the arms of his murderer. This meant that the kind of conversation the general wanted could only take place out of doors. This could be managed during his morning ride, but Finch would have to ensure that Anna could not hear them. Meldon found that he was grinding his teeth at the thought of giving them even more time alone together.

Confident that they had arranged this in such a way that anyone listening would not have understood
, Meldon took a seat as near to Anna as he could. There would be no playing cards after tonight and, if he could not enjoy her company tomorrow morning, he would enjoy it now.

Meldon noticed that
, however hard his brother-in-law tried to join them, Caro distracted him and made it impossible.

“Do you dance?” he asked after he had watched Finch take a wide path around them to get to the countess on the other side of the room. Had Caro had words
with him, as well?

“Of course I dance.
Surely you know enough gentlemen’s daughters to know that they dance.”

Damn!
He’d insulted her. Then he recalled that he had seen her dancing at his house. He really wasn’t thinking properly.

“I meant to ask if
you enjoy dancing.”

“In the right company.”

“And the waltz? Do you approve of the waltz?”

Anna blushed prettily.

“I believe even some respectable women dance it.”

“
Would you?”

“With the right partner.”

Meldon hesitated. She was looking at him shyly as if waiting for him to put himself forward as that partner, or perhaps thinking about Carstairs taking that position.

“And you,
my lord?” It was clear that he had somehow frustrated her by not saying something. “Do you find it disreputable?”

“Slightly,” admitted Meldon. Finch was right; he was a fool. How could he now propose dancing with her when he had just told her that he thought
it would soil her reputation?

To his surprise Anna smiled.

“You are quite old-fashioned, my lord. No wonder it scandalises you to see me in breeches.”

Meldon didn’t trouble to correct her error. He very much enjoyed seeing her in
breeches. Now that she no longer felt the need to complete the disguise by flattening her breasts or moving like a man, he found her almost more feminine in them than in her dresses.

“There is no need to court ruin,” he said
seriously, then smiled as she frowned. She laughed when she realised he had been joking.

Still smiling, she said, “I thank you for all the care you have
taken for my reputation. I have not always been as grateful as I should.”

“Then will you allow me to be reckless for once? Will you dance a waltz with me tomorrow?”

She surprised him again. Not only was there no hesitation when she answered, but she said, “I will dance as many waltzes with you as you wish.”

He didn’t understand why she was quite so serious about it, but
he had spent so long standing on the edge of ballrooms that he no longer understood the nuances of etiquette involved in dancing with a woman. Perhaps Caro could explain it to him. Then he remembered that it had been a very long time since he had danced with a woman.

“
My lord? My lord, are you unwell?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Smith, I just realised that I don’t know how to waltz.”

She laughed again. How easy it was to make her laugh when he wasn’t trying.

“Then come with me now and I’ll teach you.”

She started to rise, but Meldon stayed her with a raised hand.

“
You forgot your reputation. Just a moment.”

He rose and crossed the room to his sister.

“Caro, Miss Smith is going to teach me to waltz. Would you mind accompanying us to the library?”

Lady Caroline looked smug as she excused herself from her husband.

“So you have finally decided on a strategy,” she said quietly.

“I think you might be right,” he agreed.

As he walked back to her, he noticed that Anna was frowning as she looked at him.

“Something’s wrong?”

“Your leg. How long can you support your own weight?”

Now she had him. Meldon tried to remember if she’d even seen him walk without his stick. Even at the duel he’d been lea
ning on it until he’d shot her.

“Long enough for a waltz.” It
was not a lie, just not the whole truth. He could dance a whole evening of waltzes without too much difficulty; it was sitting that did the damage. He thought ruefully of the last time he had held her in his arms, on the journey here. Any pleasure he might have had from it was destroyed by the harm he inflicted on himself in the effort to keep her from harm. He had not been able to walk without his stick for a week afterwards. Now, however, he would hold her and she would be held willingly.

Anna smiled, reached for his outstretched hand and allowed him to help her up.

“Miss Smith is just going to teach me to waltz for tomorrow night,” he explained to his mother and his guests. He smiled as he left the room for he knew it would give them plenty to talk about.

It was cold in the library and Lady Caroline sent one of the maids to bring her shawl down.

Anna placed
herself in front of Meldon and showed him where to place his hands. Then she explained the steps. Since this proved difficult for him to follow she demonstrated with Lady Caroline. They began to dance. Meldon smiled as he watched, for Anna was leading.

They
stopped in front of him.

“
Did you pay attention?” asked Lady Caroline.

“I’m not a child to be told where he needs to look,” said Meldon and
looked at Anna who was now waiting for him with her arms in position.

She smiled up at him confidently. The smile disappeared
when he whispered into her ear, “You’re not playing the man now.”

She blushed and
lowered her arms.

Lady Caroline laughed. “Perhaps you could let her
lead, George. She, at least, knows what she’s doing.”

Meldon ignored his sister, touched his hand to Anna’s, counted to three and set off. Two steps later he was on the floor and Anna was looking down at him, with her face showing her
concern.

He heard his sister laughing at him.

“I might have broken something, Caro,” he growled.

“Only your pride.”

“I’m alright,” he said quickly, for Anna had paled at his suggestion.

“I’m sorry,” she said, "I don’t know what happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, as he started to get up from the floor. He got up smoothly so she would know that he really was unhurt.

“It’s been so long since George danced,” said his sister, “that he’s forgotten quite how
badly he danced when he did.”

Was she right? Meldon didn’t think he had been a clumsy dancer, just a man who wasn’t very interested in dancing. But he was the one getting up from the floor.

“At least I didn’t
take you down with me,” he said to Anna.

“Perhaps I should
have tried to break your fall,” she looked close to tears, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I’m not a damned invalid.”

Anna took a step away from him.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.
Caro’s right; my pride is damaged. Can you forgive me?”

“Yes,
my lord.”