The Heart's Ashes (83 page)

She shook her head. “Not when it comes to
I love you
.”

Mike’s breath stopped short of his next word; he let it out
with a long sigh. “You’re right. You’re right, Em. I’m sorry. I
just didn’t realise, but—” he dried her tears with his thumbs and
said with a laugh, “But I love you, okay? I
love
you.”

“
Really?”

“
Yes, really. You silly girl.” He pressed her delicate little
face into his giant chest. “Don’t ever doubt that.”

“
I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her nose with the back of her
finger. “I just…you’ve just been so busy lately. I thought maybe
you—”

Some cue, some
touch or whispered word he spoke made her stop talking; he pressed
his brow to hers and his shoulders lifted slowly. “I am never too
busy for you. But you’ve got to tell me what you’re feeling, Em.
I’m not David; I’m not a mind reader. If you’re worried I’m
ignoring you or mad at you or don’t have time for you, just tell
me, because it’s not the case. Got it?”

She nodded and
smiled at me over Mike’s shoulder when he hugged her; I gave a
little wave and a smile, then headed off to sit by the bed of
David, near enough to cause me pain for not being able to hug him,
but far enough to keep my pain from spreading.

Chapter
28

When
mid-spring set in with the warm sun, and the sparkle of green
leaves filled out the trees, David could finally open his mouth; I
flooded his lips with my blood every hour, trying to make him heal
faster.

“
How is he?” Emily closed the bedroom door behind
her.

“
He’s good. He’s breathing again—every day now, and he can
close his eyes, too.” I pointed to his face. “Look, see? He has
eyelids.”

“
Good. And it’s good to see him in clothes again, too.” She
smiled and sat on the carpet. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much
lately.”

“
It’s okay. How’s renovations on the manor going?”

“
Good. I picked the curtains for your room.”

I smiled.
“Then I’m sure it’ll look great. And how’s Mike, did you meet any
of the knights?”

“
Yep. They’re great. He’s great. Actually came home with me
this time.”

“
Really? Mike? Home? On a weekday?”

“
Yeah.”

Weird. “You
mean, you managed to prise him away from swords and sparring?”

“
Miracle, huh?”

“
He must be missing you,” I noted.

Emily nodded,
tucking her hands in her pockets. “You look tired, Ara—have you
slept since you were rescued?”

“
A little.”

“
Look, I know you care about David, but you can’t keep going
on like this. You’re not doing him any favours by running yourself
into the ground.”

“
It’s only been three weeks, Em. I’m fine. I don’t really need
sleep like I used to.” Because every time I close my eyes, I dream
about Jason—the things we used to talk about in the mind-links—then
wake up in a cold sweat, believing I’m still in that chair. “And
besides, it seems the more I coat him in blood, the faster he
heals. Look at his hand—the one that was stripped to the
bone.”

She knelt up a
little and looked at David. “Yeah. Hey, that grew back in four
days.”

“
I know.” I nodded. “I spilled most of my blood on that one
spot. It’s just a bit pink, as you can see, but no worse than
sunburn.”

“
Can he talk yet?”

I sat back
down and shook my head. Emily sat too. “Morgaine says that once his
hair grows back he’ll heal rapidly from that point. That’s when
I’ll get some rest.”

“
Yeah, but you look kind of scary. You’re all blue and
pale.”

“
I know. But I’m not as scary-looking as David.” I shrugged;
David’s chest lifted, like he was laughing. I’d give anything to
hear that sound.

“
Well—” Emily shuffled closer. “Do you wanna know why Mike
came home this weekend?”

“
There was a reason—other than missing you?”

She lifted her
left hand and frayed her fingers.

“
Oh my God!” I squealed and jumped up to hug her. “Oh, Emily.
I’m so happy for you—when did he propose?”

“
Just now. He asked me to come for a walk with him, by the
lake across the road, and he got down on one knee.” She grinned,
holding her hand so I could see the heart-shaped diamond. “He said
that he gave me his heart—” she tapped the stone, “—so I never
forget that it always belongs to me.”

“
Oh, Em. He’s so sweet.”

“
Yeah. He said he tried to propose all week, at the manor, but
he couldn’t get the guts up.”

I laughed.
“So? Where is he now?”

“
Well, that’s why I came in. He wants you to eat, then he
wants to talk to you—alone.”

“
Alone?” I frowned, taking Emily’s wrist.

“
Yes.” She winced as I bit into her skin. “Ow. Your venom
really hurts.”

Her blood
tasted fruity and sweet, as if I’d warmed a peach in a pot of cream
then bitten into it. As I closed my eyes and swallowed back the
nourishment, Emily reached over and took David’s near-healed
hand.

I pulled back
from my lunch and smiled at David, his eyes open, directly on me.
They didn’t have that sparkle they once did, but he was finally
conscious behind them. “Is he okay?”

Emily nodded
and smiled, as if her eyes were talking to him, her voice to me.
“He’s fine.

“
So—” I wiped my mouth on my sleeve, “—why does Mike want to
see me, alone?”

“
I don’t know.”

“
Okay, just—take care of David.” I stood up, pointing to my
husband.

“
I always do.” She smiled and sat on the bed.

“
Mike?”

Broad as a
soldier, my Head of Security stood by the lake across the road; his
arms folded, his attention on the hills in the distance.

“
Hey baby,” he said as I stood beside him.

“
You never told me you were planning to propose.”

“
Couldn’t. Emily would’ve heard.”

“
Uh, of course.” I raised the index finger of realisation.
“Didn’t think of that.”

“
Ara?” Mike breathed out through his nose.

“
Just say it,” I prompted. “Whatever it is, Mike. I can take
it.”

“
I love you,”

“
Except that.”

He laughed and
placed his arm around my lower back. “You still make me weak at the
knees when I look at you, and I wish every day that you’d married
me, that none of this ever happened.”

“
Hm.”

“
Let me finish.” He smiled warmly.

“
Okay, so, there was a
but
?”

“
Yes.” He looked at the lake again. “
But
…I love Emily too much to wish it
with all of my heart—does that make me a bad guy?”

I pressed my
lips together and snorted out a laugh. “No, Mike. Things are never
that simple. Life isn’t always just one or the other. If all of
this happened only so that you and Em could find each other—that’s
a fate I’m willing to accept.” I grabbed his hand and pulled it
around me a little tighter. “I’m okay. David will be okay—one day,
and you have Emily. Everything’s perfect.”

“
Except we have a Set of blood-lusting psychopaths after
us?”

I waved a
dismissive hand. “Meh, mozzies, if you ask me.”

“
Yes, but, these mozzies are huge and powerful.”

“
Well, we’ll deal with that in time. For now—” I wrapped both
arms around my best friend, “—I’m just so happy you asked her to
marry you. She was always meant to be yours.”

“
You think so?”

“
Yeah, remember? I was gonna set you up with her.”

“
She
was the blonde?”

“
Yeah. Told you you’d like her.”

“
You were right.” He chuckled then sobered. “But, Ara? I need
to know how
you
feel. You know, about—” he waved his thumb between the two of
us, “about you and I. About us. About me marrying Em.”

I let out a
deep sigh. “Do you know…when I touch you, I still have to remind
myself that we’re not together.”

“
Because of the spirit bind?”

My shoulders
sunk a little. “No. Because I love you, Mike—more than I should.
Especially since I’m married to David. And I can’t help but to love
you.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked up at him. “We’re
two parts of one whole, you and I. I think, in a way, David and
Emily—they make up the other half of us. Like, none of us could
exist, if one of us were missing.”

“
You know.” Mike nodded. “I think I know exactly what you
mean.”

“
A love quartet.” I smiled.

“
So, are you saying you love Emily?”

“
Don’t be silly—not like that.” I slapped his chest with the
back of my hand. “But yes, I do love Em. And she loves
me—
and
David.”

“
Yeah, she’s always loved David.” Mike rolled his
eyes.

“
I know.”

“
David knows how she feels.” He stared out across the
water.

“
Does he? He denies it to me—that she feels
anything.”

“
I know. He doesn’t want you to know. He says there’s nothing
for you to worry about, which means you’ll only worry
more.”

“
Really?”

“
Yep.”

“
Well, why would he tell you that, and not me?”

“
We’re closer than you think, Ar.”

I chuckled. “Got a little
bromance
goin’ on, huh?”

“
Nah, we’re just mates. But I really care about the guy. I,
uh—” He shuffled his feet, looking down. “I’d risk my life to save
him.”

My heart
warmed; I hugged Mike tight. “You’re a good man, Mike. I’m glad
you’re marrying Emily.”

“
Really?”

I nodded, and
we stood quite for a moment, watching a new family of ducks paddle
across the lake.

“
It means a lot to me, you saying that,” he said.

“
It means a lot to
me
that you’re staying with me forever—to be my
knight.”

“
Head Knight,” he corrected.

“
Right.” I nodded. “Of course.”

“
I can’t wait to take you out to Loslilian, Ara. You’re going
to love it there.”

“
Am I?” I asked, unconvinced.

“
Yeah. Give it a chance, baby. Just
pretend
to want this, for a while,
and you never know, you might start to believe it.”

“
That’s like saying I’ll become a butterfly if I wish for it
long enough.”

“
Anything’s possible.”

“
Yeah, I suppose. If vampires exist, why shouldn’t hopes and
dreams?”

Mike rolled
his head down to look at me, his warm, kind eyes taking my soul
home inside. “And what would your one hope be, my little negative
friend.”

I sighed.
“That I’ll wake up soon.”

A whisper-soft
tickle glided over my hair, and I breathed deep. “Is it morning
already?”

When I lifted
my head off the edge of David’s bed, I jumped back
instantly—falling onto grass in an open space.

“
David?” I scuffled back on my hands, coming to rest against a
firm, gristly column. My heart slowed as I took in my surroundings;
the field—the one from my dream, and behind me, the tree. “David?”
I called again, but he’d obviously stayed behind in the real
world.

No one else
was here to greet me, no ghost of Jason, no memory of our past. I
wondered why my mind brought me here at all, and as I stood,
dusting my hands on my pyjama pants, wondered why my mind hadn’t
thought of something a little more fashionable than shabby pink and
blue pyjamas.

The night was
dark and still, no crickets, no…life. I wandered forward, squinting
to make out what I thought was a light, far off in the centre of
the field. “Hello?” I called, spinning slowly to search every
corner of the pretty sanctuary.

As I drew
closer to the light, voices lilted out over the silence.

I stopped
dead, listening.

“
Give it back!” a child called.

“
Make me.” Another laughed.

Cautiously,
with quiet breaths and fairy-soft footfalls, I walked toward them,
hoping this wasn’t another Immortal Damned dream.

“
That’s not funny!” Two boys came into sight, no older than
ten years old; they plummeted to the long grass, lit up by the
memory of daylight over them like a spotlight, and I watched on,
remaining in the dark.

“
You can’t win against me, brother,” one boy said, tucking
something into his chest as he ran a few meters away.

The other boy,
the smaller one, stood up, with grass in his hair and fists
clenched, then charged after his brother again. The taller one
spun, grabbing the shirt of his attacker.

“
Hey! Stop that!” I stomped over, but as I reached out to push
them apart at the chest, fell forward, landing on the
ground.