The Heaven I Found In Hell (44 page)

"Do you guys still want to look around?" I asked, and in return, Kendra shrugged her shoulders at me while Cindy said we should continue. She was really one heartless…

Kidding.

"Okay, it's getting dark," I said. "We should leave in an hour or so."

We spent the darker part of the afternoon trying on clothes and camwhoring inside the changing rooms. It was fun, and the day became all about laughing, but the thought of an angry Riley saddened and disappointed me although I didn't show that I was affected. I didn't want to. I hadn't done anything wrong.

"You should so buy that top!" Cindy said, squealing at Kendra who was holding a metallic halter-top that gave a 'seductive effect.'

It was cute, chic, and very stylish, and it absolutely fitted Kendra. It made her look more feminine and the complete opposite of her usual self, soccer shoes, long shorts, and oversized jerseys. It would be good for her to dress and glam up from time to time, and besides, it was going to make Jackson fall for her so much deeper. As if he wasn't head over heels in love with her. He was so sweet to her, through both actions and words.

"Maybe I will," she said, smiling at the top. "How about you guys? Are you two getting anything else?"

"I want to go back to Pac Sun to get that bikini I was having a staring contest with a while ago," I said and because of my response, they ended up laughing.

"Staring contest?" Riley asked her wide smirk still present. "Queer."

"I second that," Kendra returned, agreeing with the blonde bombshell that was with us.

The soccer player headed over to the cashier, as I followed behind her, and waited for her to finish paying. She took out her credit card from one of her very expensive wallets and handed it over to the lady. After a few minutes, she got her purchase and her receipt, and the three of us went back to Pac Sun.

"Will you even use that?" Cindy asked with a small grin. "It's winter, F-Y-I."

"Reality check," I said, matching her ditzy tone of voice. "There are indoor swimming pools and hot tubs."

"Hey guys, hold on," Kendra said, holding out her arms in front of us. "Before we stripped off into our two-pieces, we still have gowns to wear."

"Oh, right," Cindy said, a bright glow in her face.

"The Winter Formal," I returned with finality.

As much as I wanted to avoid Riley since I still felt uncertain of what she thought of my picture, I couldn't, being roommates and all. When I returned to our dorm from shopping, she was lying across the couch, lazily watching whatever was showing on the LCD screen. She gave me a small smile which I took as a good thing, and decided to get straight to the point.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked, placing my car keys on the kitchen ledge.

"Still?" she asked, laughing a little. "I was never mad at you in the first place. I was just in a state of shock, you know."

I nodded, and then gave her a grin, before I told her to move her legs so that I could sit on the sofa. She did what I had asked, and we continued our conversation.

"Just don't tell Nathan," she warned, wearing a serious look. "You don't know how jealous he gets…"

I nodded.

"And how much of a baby he can act like," she finished.

I crossed my legs, put my hands on my lap, and turned my head to face her. She looked sleepy, but her eyes said the complete opposite. I knew that this shouldn't be the time for joking around. We were talking about her brother, and I could see how much she cared for him, but not so much that she'd rat me out to him.

"Just," she said, thinking of what to say next. "Just don't let him see you posing half-naked for another guy. Okay?"

"I think I can do that," I replied. "I have a few contracts I need to settle when I come home for the Break, but most of them are just runway shows."

"Good. But isn't Nathan coming with you?" she asked, her face full of concern.

I didn't know how she felt. I wanted to know what it was like to care for family, a sister, a brother, a sibling. I had my parents, but I was an only child. I grew up having everything I needed, and I thought that nothing could get better than what I had, but seeing Riley and hearing her talk about her brother, my boyfriend, I felt incomplete. And I hated feeling that.

"Yeah, he is," I said, and then, "You care for him so much. Don't you?"

She must've have thought I turned into a freak with my last sentence since I saw her widen her eyes, and heard her stutter in response.

"I…uhm…" she said in uncertainty.”Yeah, very much."

"I thought so."

"Why the question?"

"I don't know. It's just…I don't have a sibling, and," I began. "Seeing you so concerned about your brother…"

Before I could continue my statement, she jumped in, saving me from more vagueness that would come my way.

"Don't worry. When you come to the O.C., you'll see that having a big family isn't all that great 24/7," she said, laughing. "Especially when you have two more brothers, and a sister who is a complete slut."

"You look like an animal," was the first thing Nathan said when I stepped out of my bedroom clad in my Winter Formal dress.

"Anything else you want to say?" I asked, fishing for a compliment.

I had spent the whole Saturday afternoon prettying myself up in a lot of ways. From curling my hair, to going to the salon and the spa, I made sure that I looked presentable. When I got to my dorm, I worried like hell on how I would look, my make-up, dress, shoes, and other things as a whole. And after all this, all my boyfriend could say was I looked like a being lower than me? Bull.

"You look like a zebra to be exact," he said, nodding his head in agreement with himself.

I slapped his chest, and gave him a frown, and in response, he lowered his head, and then crashed my lips with his. I encircled my arms around his neck, and he cupped both my cheeks. The touch of his warm hands lingered on my skin even after he had removed them from my face to travel down the lower part of my back. Our making-out ended when the door opened with Riley and Anthony entering hand-in-hand. After they realized the interruption they caused, their face reddened, and after, they apologized.

"You could've put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign," Riley said, looking up to be met by my slightly swollen lips.

I looked at her, grinned, and then said, "This isn't a hotel Ri, and please! It's your fault you guys just came barging in like that."

The two guys who stood behind their dates engaged in their conversation, completely ignoring the shallow argument Riley and I started. I must admit, Anthony and Nathan looked like Prince Charmings in their tuxedos. That was why I couldn't keep my lips to myself from Nathan's a little while ago.

"Last time I checked this was also my dorm room."

"And last time I watched the news making-out was still legal."

Riley couldn't help it, and ended up laughing at my bluntness. She raised her hands up in surrender, and I curved my lips up into a triumphant grin. The four of us left the dorm, and then exited the building as we made our way over to the gym. A number of Ridgeway students were going the same way we were. They were dressed in a multitude of colors. Some wore pastel colors while others stayed plain in black and white. A few people I saw decided to go dark with brown and dark shades of blue, green, orange, and red. The guys, I must say, looked hot, all of them, but boring. Most, if not all, of the tuxes were in black.  There were only a few daring ones who went for white, such as Blake. When we saw him, entering the gym with a cheerleader (Mandy had already left.), we called out to him. He waited for us until we caught up.

"It would've have been better if the dance was at a hotel," he said as a greeting.

We, in return, agreed with him. The board of the school had had a meeting a few months ago and decided upon the venue of the Winter Formal. We didn't know why they decided to change it, and go boring by having it at school, but no one had any violent reactions. It was better to have it at school, than to have no dance at all.

"Yeah, but come to think of it, no one has to go home and drunk-drive," I said, holding on to Nathan's hand.

"Here, here," said Cindy, who appeared from behind us, with her date, Dylan.

I looked at my ex and gave him a questioning look. He knew what I meant. We were going to talk later. And Later came much faster than I expected. The clock struck ten, and I was outside the gymnasium, sitting on a bench with Dylan. Good thing I was able to pull him away from Cindy who didn't seem bothered at all when I asked her if I could borrow her date for a few minutes. Nathan let go of me, and when he did, I was suddenly dying to dance with him again.

"So, you called me?" Dylan asked, breaking the silence that enveloped us.

Our surroundings were dark, and very little light was given off by the street lamps. It was pretty quiet, but we weren't alone. A few people, mostly couples, had left the gym and were now engaging in other, should I say, slightly impure acts. By the tree a few feet away from us, stood a couple making-out like there was no tomorrow. Before more of my thoughts could get sidetracked, I answered Dylan's question.

"Yeah," I said, my voice trailing off. "I wanted to ask about you and Cindy. Are you…?"

I saw his cheeks color, before he raised an eyebrow up at me. He shook his head in defiance, and I asked the question once again. In return, he simply smiled, and I took that as a 'yes.'

"Since when?" I asked, grinning madly before I punched him lightly on the shoulder.

He looked at me, eyes twinkling, before he moved them away to avoid contact. I cupped his face with one hand and made him face me. He was grinning like a little child.

"We're not together," he said, frowning when he answered.

"Again?"

"I want to be with her, but…" he looked hesitant.

His face was scrunched up and his eyebrows were furrowed, and I looked at him in a questioning manner. I put a hand on his shoulder, and in response, he rounded my neck with his arm. I felt a good one-eighth of his weight push down on me, but I decided to ignore it. There were more serious matters to talk about, one, being, a relationship with Cindy.

"I told her I like her, and she said the feeling was mutual, but right after that she said she didn't want anything to happen. With my kind of career, she said it was never going to work since I'd be away from her all the time, and she said her mother wouldn't approve of me because of my job. Fuck acting."

I let out a deep breath and leaned my head on his shoulder before I said, "Do you really want to be with her?"

I felt Dylan nod against the mop of black strands I call my hair, and I looked up to him. His eyes bored down onto me. He looked sad, depressed, confused that in that instant I felt like hugging him, and so I did in a friendly way. I encircled his neck with my arms, and his hand lay on one of them.