Authors: Robyn Carr
“I should take her home and put her to bed,” Devon said.
“No, you don’t,” he whispered, leaning into her and kissing her neck. “Not until you have to. Settle Mercy in Austin’s bed with her movie and come back here. I have a surprise for you.”
“I have a feeling I’m not going to be all that surprised,” she said with a smile. More kissing and snuggling, is what she assumed. They’d been sneaking kisses and caresses here and there for a week or more. But it was so wonderful to hold hands with someone, to not have to hide the affection. She had finally owned up to Scott Grant, who had asked, “Is it that kind of date yet?” And she’d said, “It is,” with a flush and a smile.
Devon went back to the living room where she found Spencer waiting on the couch. “Spencer, there’s a bell on the bedroom door!”
“I know,” he said, grinning. “It wouldn’t be safe to hang it around her neck.”
She sat down beside him. “How’s your back feeling?”
“As bad as my legs and arms, but I’m up to this, trust me.”
With his arms around her waist, he pulled her closer and covered her mouth with his. Her entire insides began to smile and she was so overwhelmed with gratitude for having found this man. She put her arms around his neck, leaned back and opened her mouth under his. He moaned; she sighed. She was melting inside; she was melting into him. His hands, large and callused, were roaming up and down her back, then they were in her hair, pulling her mouth hard against his, then they were on her butt.
She broke away just a little bit and said, “As surprises go, you’re pretty predictable. We make out like teenagers every night. And there’s a three-year-old in the next room,” she whispered. “Thank God you have good brakes.”
“Here you go. If you say yes, I lined up a babysitter for your house tomorrow night. A couple of them, actually. Landon and his girlfriend, Eve—Mac’s daughter. I asked them to babysit so I can take you out,” he said.
“Out?”
“Dinner?” he asked. “We can stay close. Maybe a bite to eat at Cliffhanger’s? Walk on the beach? Whatever you feel like.”
“Alone?” she asked.
He smiled at her. “I’m sure there will be people around. But we can spend a little time here without a three-year-old in the next room, if you feel like it.”
She bit her lip. “I’m a little nervous.”
He pinched her chin with a thumb and forefinger. “Listen to me, Devon. You don’t ever have to be nervous with me. I’m not going to push you into anything. Here’s what I want—I want you to always feel safe and comfortable with me. If you’re not ready for more than this, then I’m not ready.”
“Spencer? Are you planning to break my heart? Because I’m starting to care about you enough to take risks that a month ago I swore I would never take.”
He shook his head. “Here’s the thing—I don’t want you to take risks. I’m a sure thing. You can put a stop to this anytime you want to. I’m not pretending anything, honey. I didn’t think this would happen. But I’m glad it did.”
“Well, there’s no stopping it now,” she whispered. She put her arms around his neck and held him fiercely while she kissed him for a while longer. Reluctantly they finally broke apart, knowing it was time to get Mercy into her own bed. He followed her home to make sure there were no problems. Once the doors were locked behind them, Spencer made his way home.
He was an angel. Not just a very nice man, but he was almost perfect. He was the best of sweet and gentle. He was a fierce warrior who drove his team hard, while nurturing them at the same time. He pushed those teenage boys to the limit, but he also drove himself just as hard
But they were both skirting the issue—they both really wanted to make love.
But she was very nervous. It didn’t exactly just dawn on her that she hadn’t had a normal relationship with a man yet, even though she was twenty-eight and a single mother. There had been some high school and college romances, some of them quite satisfying even if they weren’t real long-lasting.
And then Jacob came along.
Her genuine worry was—what if she didn’t know how to have a normal relationship now? What if she had this lovely, sexy man and screwed it up? The temptation to back off, to run, was always so strong in her. She knew it came from a lack of confidence and she had been trying to overcome it for the past few years.
Although Spencer had been through so much himself, he was so much braver and surer of himself. He knew what he wanted. He wasn’t afraid of taking a leap of faith. And he didn’t seem to be worried that she wasn’t quite there yet.
She was nervous all day, anticipating her evening with Spencer. Scott Grant asked her if anything was wrong and she said no, only that they were so busy and she didn’t want to get behind.
Finally the big night arrived and, as promised, Landon showed up with Eve and a couple of old board games. Devon wore her best jeans for their date and was so relieved that Spencer showed up in jeans, as well. She hoped he didn’t notice her jitters. Something about a babysitter and a date out in public made this seem official and she so hoped he wouldn’t regret it.
She was completely unprepared for the mood at Cliffhanger’s—they greeted Spencer like an old friend. They got a table in the bar, ordered a beer and a wine and that was the end of their date as she had expected it. Just about every person in the bar and the dining room stopped at their table, gave her a friendly hello and then either began questioning Spencer about the football team or giving him advice.
“Oh, hi, Devon. So, Spence, who’s starting?”
“You know who—you saw every one of them last year. Although I do have a sophomore who’s going to really surprise you. With the right encouragement, he could follow in Dupre’s footsteps.”
“Team captain?”
“Landon Dupre—it was unanimous. He’s got strong leadership skills and is completely up to the job.”
“Got a game schedule yet?”
“It’s being posted and published in two days—clear the calendars.”
When their crab legs arrived, they were left briefly alone. Devon said, “Everyone knows.”
“That we’re out to dinner? Yes. That we might make out like rock stars after dinner? Yes. That I hope I have a girlfriend? It’s obvious.”
“They think we’re doing it,” she said.
He leaned toward her and just smiled. “They hope, just like me and you.”
“Spencer!” she said on a laugh.
He took a drink of his beer. “I haven’t been here too long, Devon, but there’s something I know about this town. Unless you’re a really bad person or someone who stirs up a lot of trouble, they just hope things work out. That’s all. They want their kids to be safe and make something out of themselves, they want their neighbors to get by all right, they want their friends to be happy and they want to be blessed with work. Everyone around here seems to work real hard. They seem to always be pulling for the good guys. It’s so uncomplicated.”
“If we get together, you think it won’t get complicated?” she asked.
“From time to time it will,” he said. Then he shook his head. “I’m not going to waste a lot of energy worrying about it.”
She sipped her wine. “Why can’t I be more like that?”
He shrugged. “I know you have good reason to worry about things like this, but I think that’s going to pass. Pretty soon you’ll realize there’s no fence around you here. You have nothing but choices—it’s all up to you. Plus, you’re well-liked here. You help the doctor, have a sweet little girl, have friends who care about you—nice friends. You even have old Rawley coming out of his shell. As time passes, you’re going to relax into a new life and things will work out. With any luck, I’ll get to be a part of it.”
It seemed as if the second they were done eating, people were swarming by the table again. Cliff came from behind the bar and actually pulled out a chair, sitting down to talk to Spencer about some of the records that had been set in previous years. And when the waiter brought their coffee, he took a seat, as well. He had some opinions on the team he was sure Spencer would want to hear.
Devon relaxed. This gave her strange comfort, this familiarity. No one seemed suspicious of her; they all seemed very accepting. A couple of times she put in her two cents’ worth on football matters and that seemed to be met with surprise—a girl who knew a lot about football? Then they offered their approval that she should be so knowledgeable. Spencer was right again—these people were just plain good folks. They were a tight bunch, however, and if she did anything mean or damaging to their football coach, they’d behave very differently. Spencer hadn’t been here much longer than she had, but he’d clearly won them over.
And it appeared they’d be having coffee with these folks for a long time.
Her cell phone rang and she grabbed it in a panic. It was Landon. “Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Everything is fine,” he answered with a laugh. “Can Mercy have some ice cream before bed?”
She was speechless. “Oh, sure,” she said. “Not too much, though—we don’t want a bellyache. How is she behaving?”
“She’s good. We’re playing a little Candy Land. And eating ice cream.”
“Okay. Thanks for calling.”
She just gave a smile and nod to Spencer’s questioning eyes. And then the men continued to talk football. It made her smile to herself—any other woman would probably say, “Nice date, buster.” But Devon was so reassured by the easy acceptance and sincere camaraderie.
Finally, reaching for Devon’s hand across the table, Spencer said, “Much as I’d like to hang around, Devon’s got a sitter and we should probably get going.”
“Right. Sure.” Cliff pushed back his chair, the waiter stood up, one of the bar patrons gave a nod.
“Tell you what—I’ll stop by for a beer one of these days. We’ll carry on this discussion later,” Spencer said.
“You do that,” Cliff said, sticking out his hand. And then he nodded. “Take care, Devon. See you around.”
“You bet.”
She let him hold her hand on the way into the parking lot. He stopped beside his truck and put his hands on her waist. “You were a very good sport about that.”
“I had fun. I think you’re the most important person in town. At least during football season.”
“It was obvious right away the town gets behind all the school events. And they love their football.” He pulled her closer. “Walk on the beach? Feel the need to get home? My place?”
She touched his cheek with her palm. “How about your house.”
Thirteen
S
pencer had left on only a dim kitchen light. He pulled Devon in the door and it was barely closed when he pulled her close and just held her for a moment. He looked at her in the faint light, touching her face softly, gently. The light bounced off her golden hair and her blue eyes twinkled. He touched her lips with a finger. “This is as alone as we’ve ever been, I think.”
She nodded, slipping her arms around his waist.
He kissed her lightly on the lips. Then her forehead, her chin, her cheek, her neck, her ear. Then he was on her lips again, but his touch was so tender, almost hesitant. And he was kissing her slowly, very slowly. His fingers were in her short hair, running it back from her face, sweet and tempting, kiss after kiss. And then he licked her lips open and took her mouth firmly, but his touch was still achingly slow, gentle.
He pulled away a half inch. “What do you think?”
“I think...yes.”
He smiled into her pretty eyes. His hands circled her waist while hers went around his neck and he lifted her off her feet, straight up, so that she was looking down into his eyes. “What do
you
think?” she asked him in a whisper.
“I was at yes a long time ago.”
She put her hands against his rough cheeks and kissed him, deep and hard. Tongues played and he reminded himself for the hundredth time,
Easy, young man.
It had been so long since he’d held a woman with the intention of making love. Years, possibly. He was already aroused. No surprise there, he’d been aroused since the first week he’d known her. In fact, the minute he’d seen her transformation from overalls and a long braid to more fitted clothes and that sexy, floppy short hair, he’d wanted to get his hands all over her.
He walked toward his bedroom while she clung to his neck. He put her feet on the floor, sat her down on the bed, then went down on one knee to take off her shoes. He kicked off his own and rolled with her onto the bed, claiming her mouth now with more power. “I’ll go slow,” he said softly. “We’ll take our time with this.” Then he wondered if he was saying this for her benefit or his own. Since he was desperately close to wanting to ravage her completely, he wondered if he would be able to make good on the promise he’d just made.
But he wouldn’t allow himself to even fantasize about taking her hard and fast. If he ever wanted to see her again, be with her again, he was determined to make her feel safe, good, right. Satisfied. Respected. Cared for. And with that in mind, he started touching her perfect breasts on the outside of her clothing while the zipper in his jeans threatened to break wide open.
And God bless her, she began touching him, his chest, his hip, his denim-clad erection. And he groaned with equal parts misery and jubilation. She unbuttoned his shirt so she could caress his chest and he slid his hands under her shirt. He hadn’t lost his touch—he had that bra clasp opened in one flick.
And he heard her softly laugh right before she claimed his mouth again.
He felt like a randy teenage boy, wondering how far she would go, how far he should go. He unsnapped her jeans and with his hands on her hips, began to push them down. She lifted her hips a bit to help and in spite of himself, he growled deep in his throat. When she kicked off the jeans, his hand instantly went to her panty-covered crotch while he dove at her neck, licking, sucking, moaning. She was a little damp and he thought,
Yes!
With no more thoughts of an inexperienced teenager, he pulled her shirt up and away, made the bra disappear and slid those panties off. Holding her breasts in his hands, he licked one, then the other, his hand parked on her mound, one finger sliding a little deeper, massaging, circling, testing.
So ready
...
He felt her tugging at his jeans and he said, “Got it,” and stripped off his clothes as quickly as he could. He gave his throbbing member a rub and she brushed his hands away and put her own on him. That growl came out of him again and he pulled her close. “Oh,” she said. Then she said, “Mmm,” and massaged him, gently at first, then with more strength.
He rose over her, took her mouth in a long, deep kiss and said, “I meant to go slowly for you.”
“We can go slowly later.”
He smiled. “You think so, huh?”
“I want to feel you inside.”
He rolled away briefly, just long enough to reach into the bedside table and get a condom. He had it applied in record time and he was over her again, pushing her down onto the bed, edging her legs apart with a knee, probing gently. And then he pushed inside in one long, slow, fluid motion. He held still inside her, listening to her breathing—deep and rapid. She dug her heels into the bed and pushed against him.
He brushed her hair back from her forehead. “Okay?”
“Very okay.” She wiggled a little bit beneath him.
Okay,
he thought. And he began to move, slowly at first, holding her mouth, then her nipple, then the other nipple, sliding in and out. He grabbed her butt and shifted their angle so that he’d be connecting with her clitoris; he picked up speed and she began to moan and gasp loudly, fiercely, gripping his shoulders, digging her nails into him, riding him as he rode her. “Come for me, baby. Come for me.”
She threw her head back, her eyes rolled back, she pushed against him so powerfully she nearly lifted him, and it came. She closed around him, pulsing, drowning him in liquid heat. “Like that,” he whispered. “Just like that.” He kept at her until the pulsing slowly ebbed, until she began to relax beneath him, and then he went after her with all the passion he’d been storing, three, four, five hard strokes.... And he was overcome. His eyes watered; he ground his teeth; he throbbed himself empty. It was beyond what he had remembered.
He held himself over her, mindful not to crush her with his weight. It took a few moments for him to catch his breath, to open his eyes, to see her smiling up at him.
“Like that,” she whispered. She smoothed her hand from his cheek to his neck. “Just like that.”
He smiled at her. “We did that pretty well for a first time.”
“My toes curled,” she said. “I think maybe I had a blackout.”
He laughed. “You all right?”
“I’m very all right. You?”
“I’m going to probably be a pest now,” he warned her. “It’s going to be even harder to be away from you.”
“That’s okay, Spencer. I’m happiest when we’re together.”
* * *
Spencer pulled the cover over them and Devon lay in his arms, her head against his shoulder. She’d been so worried, so nervous, and she needn’t have been. Spencer loved her in a way that made her feel crazed with desire and yet cherished. She turned her head and looked up at him. “Spencer, what does it mean to you when you make love with someone?”
He seemed to consider this for a moment. “Do you want the real honest answer?”
“Of course! Please!”
“Well,” he said, gently stroking her back, running his fingers down her spine, “in younger days, before I found a woman I wanted to commit to, it meant pleasure. It meant getting deeper, excuse the pun.”
She couldn’t help it, she giggled a little.
“I hear there are a lot of dogs out there who will sleep with any woman. I was never cursed...or blessed...with that quality. Sex was always important to me. Meaningful. I always hoped I’d found someone I could love with a purpose. It didn’t always work out for me, and it wasn’t always my choice, either. I had some short flings where I wasn’t the right man for her. I had a few longer affairs that sputtered out and it was no one’s fault.”
“And with me?” she boldly asked.
“I think you know.” He leaned over and kissed her brow. “I’m falling in love with you.”
“Isn’t it a bit soon for that?”
“Soon? We’ve known each other two months. I painted your kitchen. I don’t go around painting kitchens for women I don’t care about. I’ve been alternately trying to stay away from you and trying to get closer to you since June.”
She lifted her eyebrows. “You were trying to stay away from me?”
“I wasn’t exactly successful at that....”
“But why, Spencer?”
“Besides worrying that I wasn’t ready? That I could be rebounding after Bridget’s death? You were secretive. Mysterious. Obviously a little frightened and of what, I wasn’t entirely sure. But it isn’t too soon and I’m not rebounding and I can wait until you’re ready to talk about what happened to you because over the past few weeks I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever you’re keeping to yourself is a very small piece of who you are.”
“It already seems so long ago and far away, and yet something will happen like the appearance of that black SUV and I worry that it will be lurking forever. I’m ready to tell you anything you want to know.”
He smiled at her. “Is that so?”
She nodded. She whispered the story of how an offer of help had turned into four years and a child in a commune with a morally superior cult leader. She explained how her desperation for safety and comfort and well-being had seduced her into believing in him and turning over her independence, her soul.
“Did you love him? A little bit?” he asked when she’d told him the full story.
“It passed very quickly. If you love a person who’s using you, you’re sicker than he is.”
“And you ran,” Spencer said.
“I had a brief window of opportunity and had to take it. There might not have been another chance and I was a little afraid that what he said was true—that some government agency would take Mercy from me and send me to jail for being a part of his illegal operation.”
“And now?”
“Mac doesn’t think there’s any danger of that, but I’m going to have to cooperate with anyone who wants information that might lead to his arrest. He’s guilty of a lot.”
He rubbed her back. “There’s probably a special place in hell for a man who risks rather than protects children, any children. I’m glad you’re out.”
“I might be haunted by it for a long time. I worry about the ones I left behind. Only a couple of the women there are completely under his spell—most of us just wanted peace and safety for our families. I worry about what might happen to them. Eventually he’s going to be brought to justice.”
“We all have ghosts, honey. Over time we make peace with them—they’re part of a past that was difficult.”
“That’s all I want, for it all to be past.”
“And, Devon? What does it mean when you make love?”
She smiled at him. “It means I risked my most valuable possession next to my daughter—my heart. It means I love. And hope I was right.”
He pulled her close, kissed her deeply and whispered against her lips, “I’m always on your team. I’m always your loyal friend, no matter what. If you decide you’re really in love with me, even better. But, Devon, you can count on me either way. I give you my word and my word is good.”
“I never doubted that,” she said. “I could feel it.”
He grinned. “Then I guess you wouldn’t mind feeling it again,” he said, moving on her.
* * *
Cooper was on dad duty because Spencer was embroiled in football training and a couple of pre-season scrimmages. He flew to Dallas to meet Austin at the airport and fly the rest of the way home with him. Austin’s maternal grandfather, Dale Cunningham, flew up with him to Dallas and he walked with him to meet Cooper’s arrival.
Shaking his hand he said, “I hope you’ve been taking your vitamins.”
Cooper laughed. “Good visit?”
“You bet. And I think I’ve aged ten years. His grandmother is in a coma.”
Cooper laughed again. “One of these days I’d like you and Mrs. Cunningham to fly out to Oregon to visit. It’s not fancy, but we have a good time and some of the best sunsets on the coast. I’m building—the place should be ready by late spring next year. Sarah and I will be in a bigger place on the beach. More room for company, but don’t wait that long. We can always manage something with a door that closes.”
“Thanks, Cooper. You and Spencer working everything out all right? Getting along?”
“Who wouldn’t get along with Spencer? He’s a pussycat—as long as you’re not playing ball for him.”
Dale chuckled. “I hope you have a good trip back.” He ruffled Austin’s hair.
“We’re going to stop on the way home from Eugene and get some school things.”
“Grandma might’ve put some new school clothes in the suitcase.”
“Aw, she didn’t have to do that!”
He laughed. “Well, she did have to. His legs and feet grew while he was visiting. The kid’s a weed.”
“Thanks, Dale. It’s appreciated.”
Dale Cunningham bent down. “Gimme a hug, kid. Your old grandpa has to get on a plane home.”
Austin obliged.
“Say thank you, Austin,” Cooper advised.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Call when you’re home safe.”
Once Austin’s grandfather was on his way to his plane, Cooper dropped an arm around Austin’s shoulders. “We’ve got about twenty minutes before boarding, bud. Let’s hit the bathroom and grab some fast food for the plane. It’s a long flight and there won’t be any food on board.”