Authors: Jessica Verday
“Yeah, thanks, Dad,” I said. “It’s
already
been too much of this.”
Mom ran to open the door when Ben knocked on it, and he stood there with a bashful look on his face. A dozen white roses were in his hands.
“Come in!” Mom said. “Don’t you look handsome?”
Ben was in a charcoal gray suit with a red tie, and I had to admit, he
did
look pretty good. It was definitely a “sexay” suit.
He stepped into the house. “Since you said no corsage, Abbey, I got you these.”
He held the flowers out to me, and I took them.
“If I may?” he asked, pulling one of the roses free. I nodded, and he turned and handed it to Mom. “This is for you.”
“Oh, well … I just … I …” Mom was ten shades of red, but she looked ecstatic.
“Awww, aren’t you just adorable?” I said to Ben.
He grinned.
“Let me get some pictures!” Mom said, taking the roses from me. “I’ll just put these in the kitchen.” Before I could hustle Ben out the door, she was back. “Okay. Let’s get some over here.”
She directed us to stand in front of the fireplace, and the stairs. Ben had no problem just smiling through all of it. We took pictures outside, in front of the house, by the limo, walking up the steps … until finally I told Mom that we needed to go pick up Beth and her date.
Mom started to get all teary, and that was when the hugging began. “Have fun,” she said. “Be good. Be safe and all that.”
She clung to me, and I patted her back. “Yeah, okay, Mom.”
“Your father and I are leaving tonight and we’ll be back Monday,” she said. “I’ve left some extra money on the dining room table. Don’t forget to take it with you. Are you staying with Beth or Cacey?”
“I’m staying at Beth’s.”
I made a mental note to tell Beth about our “sleepover” this weekend so that if Mom called she’d know what to say.
“Everything will be fine, Mom. You guys have fun too, okay? I love you,” I whispered to her.
Ben offered me his arm. “Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Browning,” he said. “I’ll take good care of her.”
“I bet you will,” I said, and snorted. But he just grinned at me again.
Stepping carefully, I walked down the front path to the waiting Hummer limo as Mom and Dad waved good-bye. Just as the car door was closing, I looked up. We were directly in line with my room, and I could see Caspian looking out the window.
Something wet ran down my cheek, and I brushed it away. Looking down at my fingertip, I saw it was a tear.
Hastily dabbing at the corners of my eyes, I told myself to stop. I’d be back in a couple of hours and everything would be fine. I’d get to see Caspian then.
But my heart still hurt when we drove away.
When we pulled up to Beth’s, she was outside, laughing and posing for pictures with Grant. “I guess she went with computer class guy?” Ben said, glancing out the tinted windows.
“Looks like it.”
“Hey, Abbey,” he said suddenly. “You know that séance at Cyn’s the other night?” His voice was low. “I thought that maybe you’d want to talk to Kristen. If you had the chance. But I’m glad you didn’t say anything. It didn’t feel right with everyone else there, you know?”
I was kind of surprised he was talking about that. And surprised that he’d felt the same way. “I thought the same thing about you, too,” I replied. “That you might want to talk to her. I was really glad that … didn’t come up.”
“I think she would have liked the fact that we’re here together,” he said.
“Me too,” I said slowly. “Me too.”
“I still dream about her,” he said softly, a faraway look in his eyes. “I don’t know what that means, but I think it’s a good thing.” Then he shook his head. “Hey, enough of this. Let’s go grab the final two members of our party and have some fun. What do you say?”
“Let’s do it!” I gave him a big smile, trying to push Kristen out
of my mind. Trying to push away the fact that Ben was dreaming about her, while I, her best friend, only had nightmares.
We arrived at the Hollow Ball by eight fifteen, and the reception hall was beautiful, done in pale blue, off-white, and silver decorations. You never could have guessed that it was normally a convention center.
Beth looked
amazing
in her black dress, and Grant was adorable and funny. Between him and Ben, none of us could go longer than five minutes without laughing.
I caught a glimpse of Uri once, holding a can of Coke in one hand, and he gave me a brief nod. I smiled back at him, before catching up with Beth and Grant again. The only thing missing was Cyn, and I realized that I really
was
missing her.
“Hey,” I said to Beth in between songs. “Do you know where Cyn is? Did she come?”
Beth swayed to one side, with her arms up above her head as a pounding beat started. “Haven’t seen her.”
“Oh.” I cast another glance around. “I’m going to check outside. See if she’s smoking.”
Beth nodded, barely noticing when I left. She seemed to be having a ton of fun with Grant. It looked like she’d made the right choice.
The cool night air bit into all of the more exposed parts left behind by the skimpy material of my dress when I stepped outside, and I shivered. It didn’t look like anyone was out here.
I thought about calling Caspian. To see what he was doing, and see if he was missing me as much as I was missing him. It was almost like I was split in two. One part of me was having a great time being here with Ben and seeing Beth so happy, getting this chance to have this time with my friends was more than I could have ever hoped for.
But the other part of me longed to be home with Caspian. To be waiting as the clock turned to midnight …
A loud voice from the alley beside me caught my attention, and I saw a girl in a pink dress trying to practically climb on top of a boy standing next to her. The boy moved, distancing himself, and I saw a flash of gray.
Ben?
“Ginger, don’t. I’m here with someone else.”
His words confirmed that it was him, and I tried to shrink back into the shadows. If I could see them, they could probably see me. And I didn’t want that.
“But don’t you want to?” her drunken voice slurred. “I’ve been waiting all night for you. Come ’ere. Just give me a li’l kiss …”
“Ginger. I’m serious. I said—”
I moved out of the shadows then. “Ben?” I called. “Ben, I was looking for you. You promised me the next dance.” I walked over to him, and the girl, Ginger, was practically falling out of her dress. Her hair and makeup looked awful. I had a brief twinge of compassion for her.
“He’s mine, bish,” she said, moving clumsily toward me and trying to stand up straight. “Go fine your own man somewhere else, ho.”
Compassion? Gone.
Ben gently moved her to the side. “She’s right, Ginger. Are you going to be okay out here?”
“You’re
leaving
me? Leaving all of
this
?” She looked outraged, but still managed to flounce her hair. “Fine. Whatevs.
Bye
.”
Turning to totter clumsily back to the front door, she left Ben and me standing there. I managed to wait a whole thirty seconds before bursting out into laughter.
“You know how to pick ’em, Ben.” I said. “Another ex?”
“Regretfully,” he replied. “Ready for another dance?”
“If you can handle all of
this
,” I said with a snort of laughter.
We went back inside, where the DJ was announcing that the next song was “for the ladies.” I turned to Ben. “You ready for
another dance, sexay man?” He brushed imaginary dust off the collar of his suit, and did a silly move with his hands.
“I was born ready.”
I took his outstretched hand and followed him to a clearing on the dance floor. Ben put his arms around my waist, and I hugged his neck. A slow intro had already begun to play, and the space around us quickly filled in with the crush of eager bodies.
I laid my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. Ben was a good guy, a
really
good guy, but he wasn’t the one for me. And we both knew it.
I lifted my head after a couple seconds of moving back and forth, and stared up at him. “You know, you really are a great person, Ben,” I said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that, but you are.”
He looked down. “Thanks, Abbey. You’re pretty great too.”
“I’m really glad I had the chance to get to know you better,” I said. “And for the record, I think that you and Kristen would have made a great couple. I wish you could have had that.”
“Me too,” he said softly, and I laid my head back down on his shoulder.
We were almost to the end of the song when a sudden melancholy filled me. Sorrow, clear and striking, came over me,
and it wasn’t just the slow music or the soft lyrics.
Somehow I knew that this was the last time I’d see Ben.
I slowed my movements, and came to a halt, moving my hands from his neck to his arms. “Ben,” I said urgently, “I want you to have the best of everything. Everything that life has to offer. The best school, the best job, the best house, the best wife, the best kids, the best family … Make yourself happy, okay?”
He glanced down. I was gripping the sleeves of his suit. “Okay, Abbey. But isn’t it a bit early for this? I mean, graduation isn’t for another six months.”
“I know. But I just want … Just be happy. I just want you to be happy.”
He gave me a strange look. “Let’s save the well wishes for—”
A teary-eyed Beth suddenly pushed her way through the crowd and interrupted us. Immediately I came to a halt and reached out a hand for her. “What’s wrong?” I asked over the noise. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“It’s Grant. I never should have brought him!”
I pulled her over to the side of the dance floor, and Ben followed us.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Something with Grant,” I yelled over the music. Thinking it would be a bit quieter away from the main stage, I left Ben
behind and dragged Beth over to a table. I put my arms around her as she tried to stop crying. Her shoulders shook pitifully.
“What happened, sweetie?” I said. “Can you tell me?”
“He’s an asshole,” she said. “He was making out with this drunk girl outside. I went to go find you, and found
him
instead.” She burst into sobs again. “I never should have picked him over Lewis!”
Ben came over just in time to hear the last part. “I’ll go find him,” he said, his tone menacing.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Beth said suddenly. Pushing herself away from me, she stood up straight and fixed her hair. “I don’t need him. I’m going to call Lewis.”
Before I had a chance to stop her, she was pulling out her phone from her bag. She turned away from me, and I could hear her talking. A minute later she turned back and snapped her phone shut. “Great. Lewis can’t come. He’s home with his sick little brother and can’t leave him.”
She looked so miserable that I wanted to do whatever I could to make it all better. I glanced over at Ben. “Can you call the limo company?”
“Yeah, sure.” He pulled out his phone. “On it.”
After ten minutes of waiting, Ben finally talked to someone and made arrangements for the limo driver to come back early.
“We’ll all head out now,” I said. Then I looked at Ben. “Unless you want to stay?”
“I can’t let you guys leave your senior prom early because of me,” Beth protested. “I’ll be fine. I can just get a ride back on my own.”
I shared a glance with Ben. “I’ll go with her,” he said automatically.
Beth started to protest again, but I wouldn’t let her.
“At least
you
stay, then, Abbey,” she said, “so Ben can come back and you guys can have fun.”
“No. I—”
“Please?” She looked heartbroken, and I couldn’t help but give in.
“Okay. Fine. Whatever.”
“Okay, good.” She wiped the tears off her face.
Ben’s phone vibrated, and he looked down at it. “That’s the limo company. They’re here.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked Beth again.
“I’m a little embarrassed, but I’m fine,” she said. “You stay here. Have a good time.” She gave me a hard look, then suddenly hugged me. “Take care of yourself, Abbey,” she said quietly. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I pulled back from her. It was a strange thing
for her to say, but she was already turning toward Ben. “Ready?”
He held out his arm, and she took it.
“Try not to take advantage of her tonight, okay, Ben?” I said with a smile, watching them go. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“I’ll be an absolute gentleman,” Ben called back, with a roguish wink. “See you in an hour.”
Beth waved at me, and they disappeared through the doors.
I was still on the dance floor when the next song came on. Within seconds My Chemical Romance’s “The Ghost of You” was playing.
I stood there, the bass growing louder, the beat growing harder. The lyrics were haunting, and they echoed in my ears as my eyes closed. The song took over, and I found myself swaying in time to the music as I sang along. “At the end of the world, or the last thing I see … You are, never coming home, never coming home … Never coming home, never coming home.”
It was then that I realized I was crying. Swiping both hands across my cheeks, I rubbed away the tears, and bits of my makeup, before going back to the table where my purse was waiting. I wanted to go home. Caspian was there while I was here, and it was almost … I glanced down at my phone.
Almost midnight
.