The Hidden Flame (40 page)

Linux walked along the now-familiar lane leading from the city center to the compound where he had first met Peter. The way was filled with Judeans racing against the hour to their homes before the Sabbath shofar sounded its haunting cry over the hills. Thankfully the fierce heat had lessened. A gentle wind blew from the north, casting a faint promise of fresh air and new beginnings. The sun crowned the western slopes, its ruddy light cascading over the rocky terrain as a hawk circled the forested hills beyond the city's borders.

Linux wore a simple tunic of rough weave and a belted cloak, the garments of most Judean commoners. He had purchased them from an astounded merchant earlier that afternoon, changing in the merchant's back room, and he now carried his Roman garb in a cloth satchel. Stephen had said nothing about his attire when he had made the invitation. But Linux had seen the looks cast his way by those who had overheard. He had no wish to draw attention to himself, or place his instructor in a position to draw disapproval from other followers. The commoner's clothing was his way of hiding in plain sight.

The new tribune had not contacted Linux further since their one brief encounter. Linux also had heard nothing more from the governor. Simply to give himself something to do and burn off restless energy, he had taken to helping train new recruits. It was a duty most officers of his rank and background-a former member of the prelate's personal guard-would have scorned. Yet Linux had never known such a time of constrained isolation. He was not made for enforced idleness. But his request for patrol duty had been turned down-by whom, and for what reason, Linux was never told. So he filled his hours and waited for his time of daily instruction with Stephen.

Linux arrived at the plaza to find the outer door standing open, a rarity in such uncertain times. He joined other late arrivals to slip inside, hopefully unnoticed. But his height and clean-shaven face, along with his evident foreignness, drew attention. One of the men standing inside the entrance moved toward him with a frown, but another touched his shoulder and murmured something Linux could not hear. He did not recognize the man who spoke on his behalf. The guard, still looking reluctant, nodded Linux inside.

Whenever he was among the followers, Linux always felt himself on guard. Even with Stephen he felt a certain reserve, but he put it down to the fact that Stephen was a Judean and he a Roman, and second, Abigail. Whether present or not, she had always seemed to cloud the air between them. But not today. Linux entered the courtyard and had an immediate sense of being fully engaged, within and without.

As though in confirmation of this change, Stephen's voice called, "Linux!" Linux watched him work his way through the crowd. "God's greetings upon you, brother. I wish you a blessed Sabbath."

Linux felt overwhelmed by the words. Though never before offered to him, he knew they were a traditional salutation, used by religious Judeans each week. "I wish you the same, Stephen," he said a bit awkwardly, not quite sure of the appropriate response.

"Come." Stephen led him to an empty place at one of the tables. He raised his hand, and those seated around it quieted. "This is Linux, a student of mine, and a God-fearer. I ask that you make him welcome." To Linux he said, "These are brethren from the Hellenized community. You understand that, yes? Good. Now you must excuse me. I am called to help with the distribution of the wine and the bread."

Stephen started to move away, then stopped and turned back. He settled his hand upon Linux's shoulder and said, "I am glad you came to share our Sabbath celebration."

"And I as well." Linux felt himself moved more than he could say, understanding that Stephen's words were for the others at the table also.

Stephen waited until Linux was seated to lower his head and move in close enough that Linux could feel the brush of his beard. "Signs and wonders. Do those words mean anything to you?"

"I don't think so...."

Stephen's hand rose and fell. "I sense that God will speak with you this night, my brother. When that happens, I urge you to listen."

Abigail saw Linux enter the compound and watched her husband hurry over to welcome him. The Roman's very presence made Abigail nervous. It was not at all usual for a soldier to be welcomed to break bread with the brethren. What was Linux doing there? In spite of Stephen's regular meetings with the man, was it all a ruse to spy on them? Had he truly become a follower?

She felt unsettled about it all, and she prayed again for Stephen-for extra wisdom in his dealings with Linux, and for protection for them all....

She noticed there were some others who shared her concern. Stares, shuffling feet, murmurs among the more conservative among them were signals of their unease. Even many of the Hellenized, who sat slightly apart, looked on with puzzled expressions.

But Stephen seemed to take no notice. He drew Linux forward to a seat among the Hellenized Judeans. After speaking with them a moment, he left to take his place at the head table.

Abigail glanced back at Linux. He looked slightly uncomfortable, then seemed to settle in, his eyes intent on Stephen and the others who were to serve with him. Stephen was sitting beside Nicolas, whom Abigail quite admired. Though he was a Greek, he had chosen to follow the Judean God, accepting that Jesus was the Messiah, whose death and resurrection brought forgiveness of sin to all who believed. In fact, the entire group had no problem accepting the sincerity of Nicolas. He already had been selected, along with Stephen and five others, to serve in the distribution to those in need.

She saw Stephen bend his head toward Nicolas and speak quietly. The other man nodded in agreement. While they talked, Stephen informally stretched an arm over the back of the man's chair, not quite touching his shoulders but showing to all that he considered Nicolas a true brother in every sense of the word. Once again, Abigail felt deeply moved by Stephen's boldness and his lead in declaring that the message was meant to be shared among both Jew and Greek. Her beloved was truly a wise and godly man. She felt her cheeks warm under their covering as she thought about their few but wonderful days together as husband and wife.

Abigail's attention was drawn back to the head table and the apostles, who seemed to rise as one. Peter nodded to Stephen to lead them in the first prayer. Then they broke the bread and shared the wine. Stephen, Nicolas, and other men took up the baskets of bread and the goblets of wine to serve each table of the gathered followers.

Stephen surprised her once again. As the others moved to serve the Hebrew believers, Stephen directed his steps to the Hellenized group. They would be served at the same time as their Judean brethren. And Linux was included.

Abigail studied not just the act but the soldier's response as he was served. It was obvious, even at this distance, that the man was deeply moved. She watched as he bowed his head and couldn't help but wonder what thoughts were going through his mind. Had he indeed been bold enough, needy enough, to reach out to their God as his own Savior?

Surrounded by those who had somewhat reluctantly made room for him, Linux watched the twelve apostles and seven others, whom Stephen had referred to as deacons, at the front table. Everything he saw and heard was new, but Linux had hungered for this. He did not know what it was exactly or why he yearned for it. But he recognized it as the same feeling he experienced before his studies with Stephen.

Unlike many Roman officers serving in Judea, his Aramaic was flawless. Some of the apostles spoke in Greek, most in Aramaic. Stephen was invited to pray. He did so in both languages, moving back and forth between the two with such fluid ease it was hardly noticeable.

Linux opened his eyes and lifted his head, noting that others also had been drawn by the man's words and were watching as well. Including Abigail, who was seated with the other women. He had not noticed her before, as the women's tables were at a distance from the main body and they wore almost identical shawls. But Abigail's face was not quite concealed, no doubt because she was so absorbed in what she was hearing. Her face shone with an inner light that matched the illumination on Stephen's features. She gazed at her husband with something akin to awe.

Her husband.

Linux had a sharp sensation of the night being torn in two. On one side of the divide lay all the feelings he had known for Abigail up to that point. The experience was both vivid and wrenching. The convicting reflections on all his impure thoughts and desires could not have been clearer. It felt as though some inner awareness had now been awakened. With each word Stephen prayed, the experience only grew stronger. On the other side, each of those desires and yearnings was being lifted up for inspection-not only his, he realized. Something else was inside him, something new... He could only identify it as God. Not merely the Judean God. My God.

God was helping him sift and sort-those selfish and evil desires pushed to one side, the hunger for truth and holy living gathered on the other.

Linux saw with utter clarity that he had never loved Abigail. He had wanted her. He had lusted after her. He had desired to possess her. But love? What was love? What in his entire life had ever revealed what the word actually meant-until now?

Stephen and the others at the table broke the bread in the baskets before them, and one of the others then prayed about a broken vessel, a perfect sacrifice. Words Linux knew he should have understood, because Stephen had spent their last two sessions explaining what would happen during the communion service. How they followed a pattern that had been set in place at their last meal with the Messiah during the Passover feast, the night before he had been taken from them. Linux knew all these things, yet he was unprepared for what was happening. Not there at the front table, as next the wine was poured and blessed and shared. No, what was happening inside him.

Linux glanced at Abigail. She continued to study her husband, and Linux saw there on her features a love so pure and intense that it left him shaken and ashamed. He was observing something so intimate, so revealing, he knew he was intruding even at this distance. He knew also he did not deserve such a love, had never in his entire life done anything to cause another person to care for him in such a manner.

He dropped his gaze to his hands, at that moment relinquishing the woman who had never been his to claim. He also turned away from the desires and wrath and lusts that were no longer a part of his world.

Making a space for a Savior's love that had been waiting for him...

Signs and wonders. Stephen's words returned to him. Linux now understood what the man had meant. For there was no question but what he had just experienced came from beyond him-a sign of his transformation, and certainly the wonder of it all.

Love so pure, so intense, burned away all he had been. No longer was he the second son, the princeling who would never make his rightful claim, the man of thwarted ambitions, the lonely officer trapped in a post and a land that hated him and all that he stood for. None of this mattered. Not in the face of this love.

Linux realized he was weeping. But he did not care. There was a rightness to the tears, to the exposure they meant among this gathering. For they were no longer strangers. All followers-just like him.