The Highlander Series (75 page)

“I was devastated when my mother labeled you a whore and turned you out of the keep. I
knew
what had happened and I was furious with her for blaming you. She was a prideful woman, and she would have died if anyone had known the truth. ’Twas no excuse. I was angry with her until the day she died for not protecting you as she would me. I always wondered …”

Rionna took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’ve always wondered what she would have done if it
had
been me. Would she have cried me whore? Would she have pretended it didn’t happen? Would she have turned against her own daughter to save her pride?”

Keeley swallowed against the huge knot in her throat. There was so much pain and shame in Rionna’s voice. She ached to reach out and enfold her in her arms.

“She pretended as though you didn’t exist,” Rionna said painfully. “I used to lie awake at night worried about how you fared and how you would survive.”

“And yet you did or said nothing after your mother died,” Keeley said bitterly.

Rionna sighed, her face creased with unhappiness. “The people who came to you for aid, the ones who always
gave you coin or venison from the hunt, those were sent by me. ’Twas the only way I could be sure you were cared for and that you had what you needed.”

Keeley called back the mounting grief and clenched her hands tight so she didn’t break down. “What I needed was your love and support, the support of my clan. Have you any idea how it felt to be cast out and to know that I could never return, and that to the people who’d raised and loved me since birth I was now dead?”

Rionna reached over and gingerly took her hand, as if she were afraid that Keeley would jerk it away.

“I couldn’t let you come back, Keeley.”

Keeley’s head jerked up and she stared in confusion at her cousin.
“Why?”

Shame crowded Rionna’s eyes and she looked away, tears brimming in the golden orbs.

“He was obsessed with you, Keeley. He would have never left you alone. The only way I could protect you was to make sure you stayed away from my father. You would have never been safe with him near.”

Keeley’s heart lurched. The truth of Rionna’s words hit her with the force of a fist. She’s seen the lust in Laird McDonald’s eyes. She’d felt his desperation. ’Twas as if the last years hadn’t existed and he’d waited this long to have his chance at her.

“Oh, Rionna,” Keeley whispered.

“ ’Tis part of the reason I agreed to the marriage with Alaric McCabe,” Rionna continued. “If my father were no longer laird, I could have welcomed you back in your home. The McCabes are honorable. Alaric would have never allowed my father to harm you. We could be sisters again.”

Keeley’s eyes stung. Her throat throbbed with unshed tears and her heart ached for the lost innocence of two young girls.

“I’ve never forgotten you, Keeley. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried for you. I’ve always loved you as a sister, and I know you have reason to be angry. I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me, but I did the only thing I could do to keep you safe.”

Keeley leaned forward and pulled Rionna into a hug. They gripped each other for several minutes, both of them sniffling as they battled their tears. Keeley didn’t even know what to say. She’d harbored her hurt for so long but now she understood that Rionna had suffered just as much.

“I was so worried when I was told you were gone from your cottage,” Rionna said as she pulled away. “How did you come to be with the McCabes?”

Guilt crowded uncomfortably into Keeley’s mind. How could she tell Rionna of all that had transpired and of her affair with Alaric? How could she hurt her with the knowledge that her future husband loved another? She felt no guilt for the lie she quickly crafted.

“Laird McCabe had need of a healer, with his wife so close to her time. ’Twas a chance meeting, but he offered me a home and sanctuary and ’twas an opportunity I could not pass up.”

Anxiety darkened Rionna’s gaze as she stared back at Keeley. “Are you happy here? Are you treated well?”

Keeley smiled and took Rionna’s hand in hers again. “Aye. I am. The McCabes are my family.”

“I’m glad you’ll be here for my marriage to Alaric,” Rionna said. “There’s no one I’d rather have near than you.”

It took everything in Keeley’s power not to react to Rionna’s innocent statement.

Impulsively, Rionna tugged Keeley into her arms again and squeezed her in a hug. “I don’t want to lose you
again, Keeley. Promise me you’ll come to visit and that you’ll attend me at the birth of my first child. I don’t want years to go by between us again.”

Keeley closed her eyes and hugged Rionna fiercely in return. “Aye,” she croaked out. “I promise.”

Keeley watched from her window as Alaric walked with Rionna along the shore of the loch. It wasn’t the most private courtship. McCabes and McDonalds alike were posted as guards as the couple spent time together.

While certainly not warm, the unseasonable temperatures made it comfortable to be outdoors, and in fact, the courtyard was alive with wedding preparations.

With the king’s arrival, word had flown through the highlands, and neighboring clans were arriving to set up camp outside the McCabe walls.

Gertie and the women of the keep ran themselves ragged trying to prepare enough food for the influx of visitors.

It seemed the whole of the highlands buzzed with anticipation. War was imminent, and each clan wanted to make sure they allied themselves with the winning side.

The king would openly declare his approval on the marriage between Rionna and Alaric and would also demand allegiance from the neighboring clans. With the bestowal of Neamh Álainn upon Ewan’s daughter, the McCabes would control the largest holding in Scotland apart from the king himself.

It would be a day remembered for years to come.

Her gaze drifted over to Alaric, who stood listening
attentively to Rionna, though ’twas the truth it looked more like Rionna was lecturing him.

She’d known that Alaric was destined for greatness. As laird of the McDonalds, he would take his place alongside Ewan in the defense of the throne—and of their own clans.

At that moment Alaric looked up and the breeze caught his braid. Her fingers itched to thread their way through the thick pelt of his hair. Their gazes met and grief spasmed over his face.

Keeley withdrew, not wanting any witnesses to the exchange. She would do nothing to shame Rionna, no matter that her heart was breaking into a million pieces.

A knock at her door interrupted the maudlin direction of her thoughts and she went eagerly to answer it, grateful for the distraction.

To her surprise, Caelen loomed in her doorway. She stared up at him, unable to think of anything to say.

Caelen didn’t look any more comfortable with the situation. He cleared his throat and scowled. “I thought you might like … that is, I thought you might not want to go down for the evening meal without an escort.”

She lifted her eyebrow. “Are you offering?”

He frowned deeper. “Aye. I know ’tis overwhelming and the talk will be of Alaric’s marriage on the morrow. But I don’t think you should spend the eve alone in your chamber.”

Her expression softened and she smiled up at him.

“For God’s sake, just don’t cry,” he grumbled.

She smothered her laughter. “I’d be happy for your escort.”

He held out his arm and stared pointedly at her.

The evening meal was noisy and boisterous, and it lasted long into the night. The high table was filled with
lairds of surrounding clans, all jockeying for favor with the king.

Rionna looked bored and restless as she sat between Alaric and her father. Mairin looked as though she’d tip over at any moment, until Ewan put his arm around her and pulled her into his side, obviously uncaring of proprieties.

Caelen sat next to Keeley and quietly observed the hubbub around him. Though not talkative, he did lean in on more than one occasion and ask Keeley how she was faring.

His concern touched her. Beneath Caelen’s surly disposition lay a man steeped in honor and loyalty. She knew not what had made him such a wary and cautious man with his affections, but ’twas equally evident that once earned, his devotion did not waver.

“I worry that this evening has been too much for Mairin,” Keeley whispered to Caelen. “She’ll not admit she’s overtired because she wants to remain by her husband’s side, especially with the king here.”

Caelen glanced in Mairin’s direction and frowned. “Ewan should have ordered her to bed an hour ago.”

“Perhaps I can intervene and say the babe has need of her.”

“I’ll go up with the both of you so Ewan does not have to leave the gathering,” Caelen said firmly.

Keeley smiled. “ ’Tis glad I am of your escort.”

“He’ll not have the chance to be alone with you again,” Caelen vowed as he stared pointedly at Laird McDonald.

Keeley rose without glancing in Laird McDonald’s direction, though she did find Rionna and offered a small smile. Her gaze flickered over Alaric but she looked quickly away, afraid that her face would betray her.

Caelen led her to the head of the table and Keeley offered
a curtsy to the king before turning her attention to Laird McCabe.

“I would take Lady McCabe above stairs if you give your leave. I’m concerned that she overtaxes herself so soon after the birth of your daughter.”

The words were said for the benefit of the others seated close to Ewan and Mairin. Ewan shot her a grateful look and then rose to assist his wife to her feet.

Even Mairin looked thankful as she stepped to take Caelen’s proffered arm.

Keeley was about to turn away when the king held up his hand. Keeley froze, uncertain as to what to do. Had she offered insult by interrupting?

“Ewan tells me you are the healer who attended my niece during her pregnancy and at her birthing time.”

“Aye, Your Majesty.”

The words stuttered out so shaky, she was unsure that they were intelligible.

“He tells me you have great skill and that you also saved the life of Alaric McCabe.”

Keeley nodded, her discomfort growing as more people stopped eating to listen to the king’s words.

“The McCabes are fortunate to have you. If Ewan was not such a valued ally, I would take you to tend me personally.”

Her eyes widened and she gulped. “T-Thank you, Your Majesty. ’Tis a great honor to have you say so.”

He lifted his hand in dismissal. “Go now. My niece has need of her rest. I charge you with her health and that of her newborn babe.”

Keeley curtsied again, grateful she didn’t trip and disgrace herself. Then she hurried after Caelen and Mairin as they headed toward the stairs.

“How are you faring?” Mairin asked Keeley when they were alone in Mairin’s chamber.

Keeley’s eyes widened. “ ’Tis you I’m concerned about. You looked fair to exhausted at dinner.”

Mairin grimaced. “Aye, I was, and ’tis grateful I am for your rescue.”

Mairin sat and Keeley took the babe from the woman charged with her care and handed her to Mairin. Mairin dismissed the nurse and then turned her attention back to Keeley.

“Are you all right? I know this can’t be easy for you.”

Keeley forced a smile to her face. “I’m fine. Truly. I had a chance to speak with Rionna. She has suffered as much as I have over the years. She is the sister of my heart. I have no wish for her to suffer more pain.”

“And so you’ll suffer instead,” Mairin said in a low voice.

Keeley sighed. “I want her to be happy. I want Alaric to be happy. I believe she can make him so. She’s a good woman. She’ll be loyal and true to Alaric. She’ll give him strong sons and daughters. She is a worthy mate to a laird.”

“So are you, Keeley,” Mairin said quietly.

Keeley smiled crookedly. “Maybe one day I’ll find a laird of my own.” But even as she spoke, she knew that no one would ever take the place of Alaric in her heart.

“Stay with me,” Mairin invited. “Ewan will be late this night. It will surprise me if he finds his room before dawn.”

Keeley agreed, because the thought of enduring her chamber alone was more than she could bear. Somehow the company of good friends alleviated some of the pain in her heart and she found it didn’t hurt so much to smile.

A soft knock at her chamber door awakened Keeley. She rubbed her eyes and blinked in confusion. ’Twas not
even dawn yet. She’d barely gotten to sleep after staying with Mairin through most of the night.

Hoping nothing was amiss, she rolled from the bed and went to crack her door.

When she saw Caelen there, she swung the door wider. “Caelen? Is something amiss?”

He held a finger to his lips. Then he leaned forward. “Alaric sent me to you. He’d like to see you. He didn’t want to chance coming to your bedchamber.”

Keeley swallowed. “Where?”

“Dress warmly. He’s down by the loch where Crispen skips his stones.”

“Give me a moment. I’ll be ready.”

She hurriedly dressed and went back out to where Caelen awaited her. Halfway down the stairs she stopped and frowned.