Startled by her doctor’s continued formality when addressing her, Patience looked at him in surprise. A gentle smile curved Harlan’s lips as he encouraged her to do as he asked with a slight nod. Julian’s hand tightened on hers, and she pressed her lips to his fingertips.
“I’ll return in a few minutes, my darling,” she whispered as she pulled free of his grasp and left the bed. His only response was a low groan of pain. As she left the room, Percy followed her. The door to Julian’s bedroom closed behind them, and she had gotten halfway down the hall before Percy’s fingers bit into her arm. As he pulled her to a halt, Patience shot a glare of exasperation over her shoulder at her brother.
“I need to fetch Julian’s tea.”
“In a minute, I need to talk to you first.”
“What can be any more important than seeing to Julian’s health?”
“Nothing, except the fact that you seem oblivious to the fact that Julian doesn’t want Dr. Branson’s skills as a physician.”
“What?” She shook her head slightly at the suggestion. “Why ever not?”
“Because Branson is in love with you,” Percy said quietly. “And my guess is that Julian either knows or suspects the man’s secret.”
“Don’t be absurd.” Patience waved her hand in a dismissive gesture.
“Do you really think a doctor would make a house call so far away from his practice unless the patient was very special?”
“But I never…oh, dear Lord.” She stumbled over her words as she tried to comprehend what her brother had told her. “You must be wrong, Percy.”
“I wish I were, and I wish I’d realized it before we left London. I would have found a reason for the man to stay behind.”
“But he knows I love Julian.”
“That doesn’t mean he can’t still love you, Patience.” Her brother bowed his head for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck then looked at her again. “Branson’s a good man. He won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable while we’re here.”
The sound of a door closing made Patience and her brother jump as they jerked their heads toward the sound. Patience’s heart leapt into her throat at the sight of Harlan walking toward them. He arched his eyebrows at her and smiled.
“It appears you were delayed in securing the Crianlarich’s tea.” The gentle chastisement made Patience wince.
“I’m sorry…Percy was…I needed to discuss a matter with my brother.” She looked helplessly at her brother then back to Harlan.
“Ah, yes.” There was a world of understanding in the doctor’s short reply, and Patience flinched as he studied her carefully. “Might I have a word with you in private, Patience?”
“Of course,” she said with a nod. Percy hesitated, and Patience touched his arm in a reassuring manner. When she directed a reassuring smile at him, Percy reluctantly bobbed his head in agreement.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” he said somberly. Percy had taken only a few steps when Harlan called out to him in a quiet voice.
“I think we should return to London tomorrow, Percy.” When Patience and Percy looked at him in amazement, the man’s mouth curled upward. “So it
is
possible that the Rockwoods and their special gifts have limitations after all.”
There was no judgment in the doctor’s voice, but Patience flinched nonetheless. Regret darkened Harlan’s face, and he quickly stepped forward to take her hand in his.
“Forgive me, Patience.” The remorse in his apology made her smile but it quickly abated as she looked into his eyes. There was the same look of pain she’d seen in Una’s green-eyed gaze earlier. Something in her expression made him shutter his gaze against her probing look. Behind her, Percy cleared his throat.
“I’ll go get that tea.” Her brother’s words broke through the suddenly tense atmosphere. Patience turned to see Percy walk away leaving her alone with the physician. When she turned back to Harlan, she caught the fleeting glimpse of pain on his face that she’d seen only a short moment ago. His expression quickly changed to a kindly look. It was a look that had earned him her gratitude and affection. Resignation crossed his face.
“Your expression reveals you are not entirely oblivious to my feelings where you’re concerned.” His direct manner reminded her of all the other times during her period of healing where he’d forced her to face the truth.
“Only up until a few moments ago. Percy only just realized it himself this morning.”
“At least I was not as transparent as I feared,” Harlan said with an ironic twist of his lips. “It was a bit daunting to guard my secret when it comes to the Rockwood ability to see things others cannot.”
“But you know how unreliable my gift is when it comes to people I…care about.”
“At least I am afforded some small part of your heart,” he murmured with a grimace at her words. Patience quickly stepped forward to touch his arm.
“You
do
have a special place in my heart, Harlan,” she said gently.
“Just not in the way I’d hoped,” he said with a sad smile. “The Crianlarich is a fortunate man.”
“I’m the fortunate one. I simply didn’t see it until it was almost too late.”
“Then you’ve conquered all your fears?”
The question made her swallow the knot that quickly formed in her throat. The memory of Julian’s demand that she share her darkest secrets with him still hung over her head like Damocles’ sword. When she didn’t answer, the doctor released a sigh of disappointment.
“The man deserves nothing less than your complete honesty, Patience.”
“I’m barely able to admit the truth to myself.”
“Sharing the darkest, most human, part of ourselves is the ultimate declaration of love,” Harlan said with the quiet gentleness she’d become so familiar with. “I know you love him, but do you love him enough? Can you forgive yourself for whatever your dark secret is? Give yourself the courage to share it with him?”
“But you
know
how terrible it is,” she exclaimed as her heart ached with the knowledge she was glad she hadn’t been the one who’d died in the fire that night.
“No, but I have my suspicions,” he said quietly as he met her gaze steadily. When she looked away from him. He caught her chin with his fingers and forced her to look at him. “You’re not the only one who suffered a devastating loss the night of that tragic fire, Patience. MacTavish lost his wife. Isn’t it time you give her back to him, even if she’s a changed woman?”
“Yes,” Patience whispered.
“Good,” Harlan said with a slight smile. “I’ll add the herbs to his tea and along with a drop or two of laudanum to help him sleep. I think he’ll be much better when he wakes up.”
“Thank you, Harlan. You’re so very dear to me.” Patience caught his hands in hers and squeezed them tight.
“Just remember that no matter what the future brings, the man loves you no matter what has come between you in the past,” he said quietly as he leaned forward to kiss her brow.
Patience nodded her head and hurried back down the hall to Julian’s room. In the back of her mind, Harlan’s last comment triggered a warning bell she didn’t comprehend. She pushed the thought aside as she entered Julian’s room. Nothing mattered except her husband and making certain that he understood how desperately she loved him.
T
he quiet chime of the mantel clock broke through Julian’s sleep, and his eyes fluttered open. For a moment, he experienced a sense of disorientation as he saw the brilliant white light streaming through the bedroom window. The clarity of the dark, yet vividly visible, surroundings of his bedroom highlighted by the moonlight made his heart slammed into his chest. He could see. The knowledge made his gut twist with fear. Was he dreaming?
He blinked rapidly expecting his vision to be gone again. It remained. He shot upright in his bed with a shout of jubilation rising in his chest. Just as he was about to release the yell when a soft, delicate sound filled the air. The cry died in his throat as he recognized Patience’s gentle snore. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. She was here—with him. Julian turned his head to look at his wife.
A silky web of moonlight cast a soft sheen of pale color across her face. Staring down at her, his insides knotted painfully as he struggled to grasp that he was actually seeing her face for the first time in almost a year. Christ Jesus, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his entire life. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t. She might awaken, and he needed time to adjust to the fact of his sight having returned to him. Time to come up with a way to tell her.
His mind flashed back to the few minutes Dr. Branson had spent questioning him after Patience and her brother had left the room earlier in the day. Despite the fact that his head had been splitting with pain, he’d wanted to wring the man’s neck for having come to Crianlarich. The fact that the man had come all the way from London to see Patience told Julian the doctor had feelings for his wife.
The last thing he wanted was the man anywhere near Patience. It didn’t matter that she’d said she loved him. Things were still too tenuous between them, he wasn’t about to give her a reason to run into the arms of another man. Julian grimaced as a slight twinge of pain tugged at his forehead. Despite his antipathy for the man, the doctor had been professional in his manner.
Branson had said it was possible his persistent headaches were brought on by stress, but that more than likely it was the body’s way of restoring his sight. Julian hadn’t believed the man at the time, but now—his gaze focused on Patience’s sweet face once more. God, how much he loved her. He allowed himself the small pleasure of pushing a lock of hair off her face. The moment he did so, she shifted her head with a quiet murmur, and he drew in a sharp breath of horror as the moonlight exposed the extent of her scars. Bile rose in his throat. God help him. What she must have suffered those months after the fire. As he studied the damage to her face, his throat closed with emotion.
He’d almost lost her.
He still could.
Fear snaked through him. The moment she learned he could see again, she might run. She’d freely admitted she wouldn’t have returned to Crianlarich if he hadn’t been rendered blind by the accident. Julian closed his eyes before looking down at her again. She’d thought him incapable of loving her in spite of her burns, but she was wrong. Where she saw ugliness, he saw the beauty of a soul willing to die for those she loved. She possessed a courage he couldn’t begin to fathom.
Patience sighed again, and he quickly laid back down and closed his eyes. He had no idea how to handle the current situation. She turned over and nestled her body against his, and a mixture of happiness and dread rolled over him with the force of the rushing waters tumbling over the rocks at
Eas Falloch.
“Julian?” His name was barely a whisper on her lips, and a small smile curved his mouth.
“Yes,
mo ghràdh
.” At his quiet reply, she released a sigh. It vibrated with the quiet timbre of sheer happiness. Julian wrapped his arm around her and bent his head to brush his mouth against the top of her head.
“Is your headache better?”
“Whatever that doctor of yours gave me worked wonders.” Despite his efforts to keep his voice devoid of anything other than nonchalance, he knew he’d failed when she came up on her elbow. He intentionally kept his eyes closed as he sensed her staring down at him.
“He’s only a friend,” she said in a hesitant voice. “I could never love him.”
“And why would that be,
mo leannan
?”
“Because I love you, Julian. I’m yours heart, body, and soul.”
The touch of her lips against his made his heart thunder so loudly in his ears he thought it might be the beginnings of another headache. The moment she retreated, he pulled her back. One hand curled around her neck, he kissed her and relished the hot sweetness of her lips.
With a sigh of surrender, she willingly gave him access to the delicious heat of her mouth. She tasted of cinnamon and sugar. Julian took his time savoring her as their tongues mated in a fiery dance of passion. Under the covers he was already naked, and he could only assume she’d undressed him as he slept. She on the other hand wore a nightgown of soft linen. As he deepened their kiss, his hands gathered the material at her hips and tugged the garment upward.
The need to explore every inch of her made his hands fumble slightly as she moved to help him pull her nightgown over her head and toss it aside. He rolled her onto her back, capturing her mouth before feathering kisses across her unmarred cheek. She sighed softly, and he recognized it for the happiness he was feeling as well. Ever so slowly, he trailed small kisses along the line of her jaw as he worked his way to the left side of her face. The instant his mouth touched the edge of her scarred features, she stiffened beneath him.
“
Don’t
,” she exclaimed softly and turned her head away to prevent him from going any further. Deliberately keeping his eyes closed, he kissed the silky smooth cheek she offered him.
“Let me love all of you,
mo ghràdh
,” he whispered as his index finger gently turned her face back toward him. “You are mine,
mo leannan
. I love everything about you. What sort of man would I be if I loved only a part of you?”
“You don’t understand.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and he caught the scent of her salty tears.
“Do no’ cry, my darling lass.”
“I can’t help it. I’m… I’m a terrible…terrible person.”
“Why in God’s name would ye say such a thing, let alone think it, Patience?”
He struggled not to look at her, instinctively knowing that to do so would shift the pivotal nature of their conversation. She’d said her soul was his to love and keep, but she needed to trust him completely with whatever darkness was buried inside her. When she didn’t answer him, he kissed her gently. He braced himself on his side with his elbow then traced an invisible line from the base of her throat to the valley of her breasts.
“Tell me,
mo ghràdh
,” he whispered. “There is no’ a part of you that I could no’ love, good or bad.”