The Hollywood Effect (10 page)

“Liam. In high school. It was… nice. One of the best kisses I’ve ever had actually…” I sat there for a moment, staring into my wine glass. How many had I had?

“Then what happened?”
 

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “He said he didn’t want to ruin the friendship, so we pretended that it never happened.”
 

“Oh, hun,” Mel said, full of sympathy.
 

“Nah, nah, it’s fine. Sheesh, it was ages ago. I’m well over it.” I saw Mel and Sammy exchange a meaningful look.
 
“Seriously, girls. I am! Let’s change the topic. Have you tried actually telling him that you’re unhappy with the amount of sex you’re having?” I asked Mel.
 

 
“Yes, of course I have. He says sorry, and that he’s just been tired and stressed, and he’ll try harder. But… it’s still been six months since we fucked. I’m going mad.”
 

“If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been laid in almost a year, not since Evan dumped me,” I said.
 

Sammy grinned. “Well, I have you both beat. I,” she paused to hold up her drink. “I have not laid with a man for four years.” She finished off the rest of her wine with a flourish.
 

“Four years?!” Mel and I both exclaimed.
 

“Wait, you said man. What about…” Mel added with a slight smirk.
 

“I may have experimented with a few lovely ladies in that time…”
 

I laughed.
 

“I wish I didn’t love Ben,” Mel said with a deep sigh. “It would be a lot easier if I could just say ‘well, if you don’t wanna make love to me, it’s over.’ But I can’t.”
 

“Sure you can,” Sammy said. “Come over to the dark side of single-dom.”
 

“My mum always said there are worse things than being single,” I added. She’d said this a lot when my sister Steph had had a particularly repulsive boyfriend for a few years. None of us understood why she was with him, not even Steph now that it was in the past.
 

“But I love him,” Mel said plaintively. “We do have good times.”
 

“But you’re not satisfied, and you’re not happy. And to be honest, he’s a bit of a dick, Melly,” Sammy said.
 

“What? No he’s not.”
 

“Yeah, he kinda is,” I said, and offered Mel some cheese.
 

Mel frowned at us both.

“Sorry,” I said. “Wine makes me honest. And just because you’re in love with someone, doesn’t mean you should be with them.” Another of Mum’s sayings.
 

“Jen’s right,” Sammy said.
 

“I’ll think about it,” Mel said eventually. “It’s hard though. We’ve been together for four years. And we live together… and who would get the cat?”
 

“Figure that stuff out later, my dear.” Sammy patted Mel on the head, which made Mel scowl. “We need to plan our night of prowling. What are the menfolk like in these parts?” Sammy turned to me.
 

I shook my head. “Not worth it. Most of the good ones left. You two need guys who can string more than a few sentences together and actually know what
mise en scene
means and have at least read a book in the last decade that wasn’t for English class.”
 

“Nah. I’m not talking future husbands here, Jen. I’m talking one night stand. A nice farmer would be something fun and different.”
 

“The farmers are probably all in bed. They have to get up at 5am to milk the cows. You’d be stuck with the dole bludgers and uni students.”
 

“I could do a uni student,” Sammy said slowly.
 

“You sly old fox,” Mel laughed.
 

“Just be careful of the school students,” I said. Mel and Sammy both gave me an aghast look.
 

“Okay, I was only partly joking about the uni student, but I wouldn’t touch a school kid! Gross!”
 

I laughed. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean you would. It’s just a few of the Year 12 boys at school have turned 18 in the last couple of months. They keep turning up at the pub. It’s… a bit awkward.” I said. Jacinta and I had started going to the pub in the next town over to avoid them, or just drinking at home.
 

“Oh. Right. Small towns. I didn’t even think of that. How weird would have that been, going to a pub with your teachers!” Sammy exclaimed.
 

Mel shrugged. “I grew up in a small town too. We only had two pubs, so you saw them out a bit. We mostly stayed away from them though.”

“Well, we’re lucky, we have four pubs in this town. But there was a bit of an incident a couple of weeks ago. One of the kids had a few too many and hit on one of the other young teachers. We’ve kind of been avoiding the pubs since then.”

“Oh, wow! What happened?” Mel asked eagerly. Teachers: biggest gossips out there.
 

“Nothing really. Jacinta shot him down and told his mates to take him home. The kid was pretty embarrassed and apologised the next day at school. He turns red every time he passes her in the corridor now. It’s weird though with the younger teachers - some of the Year 12’s look older than the teachers. Like, our school captain, his name’s Ricky, he’s got a full beard and is like 6 ft 4 or something. If I saw him out in the city and didn’t know who he was, I wouldn’t think twice. And then I’d be aghast that he was 18. He seriously looks like he’s in his twenties.”

I made myself stop talking. I could definitely tell I’d had enough wine. I got very chatty. And way too honest.
 

“Anyway, we should organise a girls night out in the city, at least,” said Mel. “Get Jenny out of the countryside and away from her students.”
 

I nodded in approval.
 

“I actually have a friend you might like, Jen,” Sammy said. “He’s into all that science fiction stuff you like, and he’s a boring old teacher as well. No crazy paparazzi attention with Will. Just good old fashioned teachers breeding with teachers, like we have been since time immemorial.”
 

“Breeding… let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said with a startled cough.
 

“Okay, okay, sorry, but you should meet him anyway. He’s pretty awesome. And cute, I guess, if you like the tall, kinda nerdy types.”
 

“Hmmm. I dunno…” I said, hesitantly.
 

“How about I just invite him along to the next group outing and lets pretend I didn’t say anything, so you don’t get all caught up in your head?” Sammy suggested with a short laugh.
 

“Okay. That sounds do-able.”
 

The conversation shifted on to school, and quickly devolved into who could out-surprise who with stories of what students and teachers got up to in our respective workplaces.
 

Trouble in Paradise?
 

Not again! We really hope it’s not true, but we’ve got some breaking news for you, dear readers. There are rumours that the Burns-Monroe wedding is OFF! Again! Holly was spotted without her engagement ring and refused to comment, but a source very close to her has confirmed the unhappy news for us, and even told us Liam’s making plans to move out! Will they be able to work it out again? Only time will tell.
 

I relaxed. Another teaching day over that didn’t involve a disaster or a meltdown. I plonked down at my desk and accidentally scattered a shower of Year 8 history posters all over the place. I quickly shoved them into a haphazard pile that would pass a brief neatness inspection, and pushed them to the side, next to the pile of Year 10 English essays I needed to mark. I’d deal with them tomorrow. I really didn’t feel like marking just then. By brain was fried after a double with the Year 8’s. They were like gremlins. Some days they were lovely and fantastic, other days someone had obviously got them wet and they were utterly horrid. Today they’d just been a bit damp.
 

I flipped open my laptop. An email from Liam was waiting for me, and despite my earlier words to Mel and Sammy, my fingers tingled and my heart skipped a beat. I really needed a local distraction, I told myself for what must have been the hundredth time.
 

From:
L B
 

To:
Jen Pike
 

Hey Jen,
 

Hope this email finds you awesomely swell, and your kids are behaving for you. I’m writing because I wanted to tell you something before it’s splashed all over the press.
 

Holly and I are over. Done. For good, this time. Wedding is off. I’m moving to a different place. No, she didn’t cheat this time. It just wasn’t working. She’s not what I want. And I’m not right for her, either.
 

Anyway. I’m okay. It’s been brewing for a while. It’s still hard, you know, but… yeah. I’ll be fine. So will she, I think. She didn’t want to break up, but I’m sure she’ll see sense sooner rather than later. She’s not a bad person. I just… I don’t know. It’s late over there. I feel like talking to you, but I don’t want to wake you up.
 

I stopped reading and took a deep breath. Could it be true? Were they really over? I closed my eyes, wondering at my physical reaction. My heart had started palpitating and I felt my palms getting sweaty. I should be sad for him, not this weird, nervous, gleefulness. What was wrong with me? I opened my eyes and kept reading.
 

I know your school holidays are coming up, and I’m really hoping you don’t have plans. My movie premiere is in the second week of your holidays, and I’m really, really hoping you’ll be my ‘date’. I’ll pay for your ticket of course, and you can stay at my new place. It’s kinda nice even if I do say so myself. Anyway if you do me this MASSIVE favour, I will be eternally grateful. Oh, and to sweeten the deal, Dan is dropping in for a few days on his way to London, so you have to say yes. It’s about time we had a reunion.
 

Let me know. Call me any time, I have no schedule at the moment, so it doesn’t matter if you wake me up.
 

-L
 

Could I actually go? I checked my mental calendar. I didn't really have anything planned for the holidays. I'd thought about having a Melbourne trip, and staying with Mel or Sammy for a few days, and going to the museum and art gallery, and maybe see a gig. There were a few other friends I wanted to catch up with as well, and I'd agreed to meet up with Sammy and her teacher-friend Will. That would be much more sensible. Date a fellow teacher. Live a quiet, normal, uncomplicated life.
 

I checked out the airfares. I didn't want Liam paying for me. I had a decent job, I could afford it. I didn't want him thinking I was using him for his money or anything, or that I couldn't look after myself. The flights were affordable. As long as I flew economy and left at a ridiculous time in the morning.
 

I hesitated before writing back to Liam. I still wasn't entirely sure. I decided to think about it on the drive home, which in the end really didn’t give me much time as it was a very quick four minute drive, even with having to wait at the intersection for 10 cars to go past. Tarang had spoiled me for city driving and commutes.
 

I rang Mel when I got home.
 

“Liam wants me to come over to Los Angeles in the holidays and go to a movie premiere with him,” I said, once we’d got past the initial compulsory pleasantries.
 

“What? That’s so awesome! I’m actually jealous.”
 

“What? Really?”
 

“Of course! Are you crazy?! I’m a drama teacher! I’d give my right foot to go to one of those things!”
 

“Oh... I wasn’t sure whether to go or not...”
 

“What? Why?” Mel demanded.
 

“I don’t know... after all that crap that was written about me last time. I don’t want to give people the wrong idea,” I said.
 

“What’s the wrong idea?” Mel teased.
 

“You know... that we’re together or something.”
 

“Just say that you’re old friends. Or that you’re his cousin or something... He’s with Holly Monroe, don’t worry about it.”

I was quiet for a moment.
 

“Don’t tell anyone this yet…” I started, then stopped. I trusted Mel. Mostly.
 

“Don’t tell anyone what?”
 

“Liam and Holly are over. He’s moving out.”
 

“Oh, shit! That’s… wow. Um.”

“Yeah…” I said, slowly. “So you can see why people might get the wrong idea?”

“Well, now it makes a bit more sense. Don’t worry about it though, Jen. You can’t live, or in this case, not live your life because you’re worried about what strangers will think of you.”
 

I contemplated her words for a minute. She was right. It was the kind of advice we were always dishing out to kids at school. Don’t worry about what other people think of you. It’s their problem, not yours.
 

“You’re right,” I said. “Anyway, I doubt anyone will pay attention to me. All the attention will be on the movie stars. I’ll just be noted as ‘Liam Burns, and friend’ if noted at all.”
 

“Good old anonymity.”
 

“Nothing’s going to happen with Liam anyway. So there will be nothing for them to write about.”
 

“When’s that ever stopped them. Those gossip rags are full of mediocre creative writing efforts. They’re worse than Year 9 girls. Before you know it you’ll be pregnant and secretly engaged. Just you wait.”

“Oh, joy,” I mumbled.
 

“Do you want something to happen?” Mel said after a moments silence.
 

“Of course I don’t want anything to happen. Gross. That would be like hooking up with my brother or something.”