The Honorable Barbarian (18 page)

Read The Honorable Barbarian Online

Authors: L. Sprague de Camp

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General

When they climbed out on a pier, Toga said: "Have the goodness to step hither.'' He led them along the pier to the shore, where a group awaited them. There were five armed men, wearing brass helmets and long cuirasses of hardened leather studded with bronzen buttons. They had swords at their sides and leaned on fauchards like those of the marines on the
Tukara Mora;
one wore on his helmet a gilded ornament suggesting that he commanded the rest. There were two litters and several thickset, drably clad Kuromonians to man them.

"Wilt take this chair, Master Rao?" said Toga, gesturing.

"Whither go we?" asked Kerin.

"Why, to Chingun, for you to present that which you bear to the appropriate official."

"Then where is my wife to ride? In the other?"

"The woman? We had not anticipated her presence. She can find lodging in Koteiki to await your return, or she can follow us afoot."

"Nay, sir!" said Kerin, feeling gallant and a bit reckless. "Her transport shall equal mine own."

Toga looked puzzled. "But she is a mere woman!"

"Our Western ideas differ from yours; and she is also, after all, a princess."

"Oh!" said Toga, bowing to Nogiri. "This vile excrescence begs Your Highness' forgiveness. This heap of nameless filth did not know. Pray take the other chair whilst this inferior one rounds up a conveyance for his humble self."

Toga went off. Kerin stared about, taking in the throngs of working-class Kuromonians in faded blue jackets and trousers, with conical straw hats tied beneath their chins. He thought he ought to get a hat of that sort, since the climate at Koteiki was almost as hot and humid as that of the Salimor Archipelago.

Then he examined the chairs as eight men of their escort picked up these conveyances and readied them for use. Each chair, without covering or enclosure, was attached to a pair of shafts extending fore and aft. The shafts were affixed at seat level; a pair of downward extensions, corresponding to the front legs of a normal chair, supported a footboard for the rider. The shafts were braced near their ends by crosspieces, and from each crosspiece a dowel rod descended, so that the porters could set the weight of the chair on the ground.

From the ends of each crosspiece, a rope was belayed to the midpoint of a carrying pole about six feet long. The rope had sufficient slack so that, when the pole was in use, it was about a foot higher than the shafts on either side. Four porters manned each chair, two bearing the ends of the forward pole and two the after, the second of the front pair and the first of the rear pair standing between the shafts. Another man in workman's costume waved to the chairs, saying:

"Sit! Sit!"

At least that is what Kerin thought the man said, although the local dialect differed from the Kuromonian that Tsemben had taught him. He and Nogiri climbed into their chairs and watched the crowds. Kuromonians of the mercantile and official classes could easily be picked out by their embroidered ankle-length robes, bearing patterns of flowers, birds, and other designs, and pillbox hats. They seemed to be mostly stout men, fanning themselves as they walked with slow and dignified gaits.

After another wait, Toga reappeared astride a small gray ass. He barked a command, whereupon soldiers shouldered their pole arms and porters picked up the bags of the passengers' possessions.

"Go!" said Toga. In single file, the chair porters heaved the carrying poles up to their shoulders, raising the passengers' feet a foot above the ground; and all started off for distant Chingun.

IX

The Prohibited Precinct

Kerin had vaguely supposed that being borne on the shoulders of men would give one a feeling of grandeur. The reality turned out different. His four chair porters plodded in single file, keeping in step by a little chant in local dialect. They sang the same stanza in rotation, over and over. After a hundred or more repetitions, the fourth man called out. The porters lowered their poles until the dowel rods touched the ground and took the weight. Then all four shifted their poles from one shoulder to the other. On they went, murmuring the same little song.

Kerin found that chair shafts have a natural period of oscillation. His weight set up a resonance, so that the chair bounced, with a loud, rhythmic creak, with each stride of the porters. At first Kerin did not mind the motion; but after an hour his clothes began to chafe where they rubbed with each bounce, and his stomach felt queasy.

Since the day was advanced when the
Tukara Mora
anchored at Koteiki, Kerin's porters had covered only a couple of leagues when, with darkness looming, Toga called a halt at a little wayside inn. The official bustled about, getting Kerin and Nogiri settled in the hotel's fanciest room and the others placed elsewhere. Kerin took time before dinner to learn the locations and use of the facilities.

Kerin was now adept with chopsticks. Toga said: "This person must say that, for a barbarian, you adapt readily to civilized ways."

Kerin paused in his stoking. "Master Toga, my brother, who has traveled widely, warned me that, wherever I went, I should find the folk believing themselves above all other human beings; that they are the wisest, bravest, truest, and politest people on earth. So I do not let myself be disturbed when folk of other nations call me a barbarian."

"Your brother is shrewd, Master Rao. Of course, when we of the Heavenly Empire think thus, it is no mere boast, because we are in sober fact superior."

Kerin suppressed a smile. "Another matter. Are these chairmen supposed to haul us all the way to Chingun?"

"Aye. It is a mere fortnight's walk."

"Were not horses or carriages speedier?"

Toga spread his hands. "Doubtless; but only holders of the colored cap buttons—the upper nine grades of the civil service, called mandarins—may ride horseback or travel in chariots without special permission. And if I filed a request for this permission, the document must needs make its way through various bureaus and would keep us waiting a month in Koteiki. So in practice, it is quicker to walk."

"What said he?" asked Nogiri. "I missed some words."

When Kerin explained, she said: "Oh, I am happy that you did not get horses! I have never ridden, and they terrify me."

Kerin grinned. "You, the bravest woman I have known? Well, we all have weaknesses, I suppose. I hate spiders." He turned back. "Honorable Toga, I should like to ask a favor, namely: to trade places tomorrow, for me to ride the ass and you the chair. I like not being bounced like an infant's ball."

"Oh?" said Toga. "If you insist. A chair implies a higher status than an ass; it was meant as a delicate compliment. Your trouble, Master Rao, is that you are too lean. A well-fed merchant or official, far outweighing you, would not bounce. But it shall be as you desire. Could we feed you properly for a few months, we could give you the obesity proper to a gentleman."

"Thankee, but I like myself as I am. On a perilous journey, one must be ready for violent action."

Toga gave a little sigh. "This inferior person will never understand the barbarian mentality.''

When Kerin was on his way to his and Nogiri's bedroom in the rambling one-story structure, he passed the common room, into which the soldiers and porters had crowded. They were crouched around a little bowl on the floor, into which the head porter poured chick-peas. The head porter began taking out peas, a few at a time, while betting grew frenzied. When almost all the peas had been removed, those who had bet on the number remaining gave shrieks of triumph.

"It is called
fantan,"
said Toga. "Wouldst take a hand?"

Kerin hesitated, but Nogiri said in Salimorese: "Husband, you would not fall into the trap that caught that other fellow you spake of, now would you? You are in a strange land."

Kerin said: "My princess is a-wearied, Master Toga. I thank you for your kindness, but we must retire."

Retire they did; but they were long kept awake by intermittent howls of "One! Three! Four! Two!" from the common room.

Next morning, Kerin had trouble with the ass, which rolled its eyes and shied as he approached it. Toga explained: "It is your barbarian smell, Master Rao."

With porters holding the ass's head and tail, Kerin mounted. The stirrups proved too short, even after the straps had been let out to the last bucklehole.

"This person will find a worker in leather—" beganToga; but Kerin said: "Bother not. At the first stop I shall make the needed holes with my dagger.''

Toga sighed. "You would do manual work that you can hire others to do for you? Ah, barbarians!" Shaking his head, he climbed into the chair vacated by Kerin.

The little caravan plodded northward along a muddy road lined with endless brown-and-green fields of crops. Often they passed by fields at the corners of which coffins were stacked. Toga explained that the owners' families had not yet gotten around to burying their dear departeds, Some coffins had been in place long enough for the ends to have rotted out; pigs poked their heads in the openings for anything edible.

Kerin's saddle, a simple wooden frame with a square of blanketing fastened over it, proved rather uncomfortable; but it was better than being forever bounced. Kerin noticed that Toga's tubby form held the chair steady as his own lesser weight did not. Nogiri did not seem to mind the bouncing.

On the third day, a downpour caught them on the road. Toga brought out rain capes of yellow oiled silk for himself and his charges. The soldiers and porters had to plod on unprotected, stooped aiid squinting.

The group wound its way beneath a low, gray sky through a country of low but rugged hills. Farms were few here; the inhabitants mainly raised livestock. In the inn that night, Toga said:

"Honorable Rao, this is bad country for robbers. We must keep a sharp watch."

When he retired, Kerin dug out Pwana's spyglass. The next day he stuck the telescope into a jacket pocket.

They continued through the hill country. At the midday halt, Toga muttered about brigands. Kerin got out his spyglass and scanned the hills.

"I see none," he said.

"Good, honorable barbarian! Then let us eat. I have a bottle of wine that is not altogether disgusting."

Kerin was shoveling in the first chopstickful of rice when a porter sprang up, crying out and pointing. A group of men had erupted out of a gully and were running towards the caravan, waving weapons.In a scramble, all the porters rose and fled. The five soldiers snatched up their pole arms but then ran after the porters. The ass galloped off in the midst of the crowd.

"Run!" shouted Toga, lighting out after the soldiers.

"Come on, Nogiri!" said Kerin. "We can't fight the whole band alone!"

Hand in hand, Kerin and Nogiri ran after the rest. The porters fled up a long incline. Kerin soon passed the stout Toga, laboring and puffing. He and Nogiri overtook the soldiers, slowed by the weight of their arms and buffcoats.

The rise went on and on, until Kerin also began to pant. He paused to look back. A group of their attackers had seized Toga and were dragging him back to the luncheon site. Others were eating the food that the caravan had abandoned.

Kerin finally reached the crest. The ground dropped sharply on the other side, and in the draw before the next rise the porters and soldiers huddled, talking. The ass placidly grazed.

Kerin strode up to Captain Mogami. "A fine lot of brave soldiers you are!" he snorted.

Mogami clasped his hands, bowed, and spoke. It took a couple of repetitions in his dialect, but at last Kerin understood him to say: "But honorable barbarian, they outnumbered us three to one! Since no help could be expected from the porters, to stand and fight were futile."

"But they were also a ragged, starveling lot, with a miscellany of weapons and no armor. Besides, you let them capture Master Toga."

The officer shook his head. "Indeed, sir, ye have shamed me. Be so good as to take this!"

He thrust his fauchard into Kerin's hands, pulled off his crested brass helmet, knelt, and bowed his head. Kerin supposed the man to be praying. After Mogami had knelt silently for a while, Kerin asked:

"What do you?"

"I wait for you to cut off my head," said the officer. "I do but beg a single, clean stroke."

Kerin recoiled. "Now what on earth do I want with your head, without the rest of you?"

"Honorable barbarian, since ye have shamed me before my men, it is the only way I can recover my lost face."

"Excuse me; I must think." Kerin strolled back up the slope until he could just see over it to the luncheon site. Through Pwana's spyglass he watched the sixteen robbers feasting and passing Toga's bottle of wine around. Toga they had tied up, and one was heating his sword blade in the smoky little fire. He and others laughed and pointed to Toga. Kerin guessed that they were thinking of interesting things to do to the civil servant.

Kerin rejoined the group at the bottom of the draw, where Captain Mogami still knelt, and said: "Art fain to recover your face?''

"Aye. Therefore I begged a quick, sure stroke."

"I have a better idea. If you will follow my orders, you may not only live but also gain glory. Up!"

As Mogami rose, Kerin handed him his fauchard. "One of you hold this beast whilst I mount it. Follow me, all five of you!"

Kerin rode up the slope and halted where he could make out the robbers. "We shall charge downhill. If you are all quiet, we may get close ere they see us. When they espy us, I shall call on you to shout and scream. If any stand his ground, we shall slay him. Do you all understand? ''

They topped the rise. Kerin waved his sword, saying: "Charge!"

The ass trotted; the five soldiers ran. Halfway to the luncheon place, a bandit saw them and cried out. In a trice the robbers were scrambling for weapons.

"Shout!" called Kerin. He and the soldiers burst into roars and screams of threat and invective.

The robbers formed a ragged line. As Kerin galloped closer, waving his sword, one robber dropped his spear and ran. Then another turned tail, and then the whole sixteen were in flight, dropping pieces of loot.

Filled with the lust of battle, Kerin galloped after them; but the ass put a hoof into a hole and pitched on its head. Kerin went flying, coming down on a patch of muddy road. By the time he had regained his feet, scraped some of the mud off his face, and assured himself that he had no broken bones, the robbers were out of sight. The ass was placidly munching grass again.

Kerin limped back leading the ass. The porters and Nogiri were straggling down the slope. A soldier had cut Toga's bonds, and the civil servant was rubbing his hands to restore circulation. He bowed, saying:

"This negligible person is eternally grateful, and not merely for saving his worthless life."

"What else?" asked Kerin.

"Why, they were going to try a red-hot sword blade on me."

Mogami spoke: "A terrible thing to do with good steel! It ruins the temper."

Toga continued: "I should not so much have minded dying. But I feared that, by crying out under torture, I should lose face before those scum."

Kerin said: "Pray explain something. . . ." He drew Toga aside and told of Captain Mogami's invitation to Kerin to behead him. "Did he really mean it?"

"Of course he meant it!" said Toga. "That is what any Kuromonian gentleman would do. Although Mogami is a mere soldier, he hopes to rise above that status, which amongst us is one of the lowest grades."

"If a soldier is deemed such a contemptible fellow, no wonder they ran away!"

"True; but what would you? Admire one whose sole skill lies in slaying his fellow beings? That were to stand civilized values on their heads! But tell me, honorable Rao, in view of their numbers, how knew you the robbers would run from your charge?"

Kerin chuckled. "Something I learned of the habits of the Mulvanian wild buffalo. A fellow named—" He had been about to name the original Rao, but checked just in time as he realized that he was supposed to be Rao. "I forget his name, but he'd traveled in the jungles. He told me there was one coward in every herd. Tell me, what would have happened if I had cut off Mogami's head?"

Toga shrugged. "His soldiers would have stripped the body of aught of value. If they were honest, they would give these things to his widow on their return home. The corpse would have been left for the pigs and wolves."

"Would nought have befallen me for the slaying?"

"Nay; why should it? He offered you his life before witnesses, and under the circumstances you were entitled to take it."

Kerin sighed. "I find the customs of the Heavenly Empire as confusing as you would doubtless find ours."

Toga chuckled. "This person blames you not. After all, you have not had the advantage of a civilized upbringing."

Later, when Kerin was alone with Nogiri, she said: "My lord, you are a true hero. Were you not at all frightened?"

"Forsooth, I was; but not of the robbers. I feared that my gallant soldiers would flee at the last instant, leaving me to fight the banditti alone!"

The rest of the journey saw few incidents, save that it took twenty-five days instead of the promised fourteen. When Kerin twitted Toga about this, the official said:

"Ah, Master Kerin, you have not yet learned this feature of polite civilized discourse. The first principle in answering a question is to give the questioner an answer that shall please him, even if one must bend the literal truth a bit."

At every halt during the day, Kerin ordered the soldiers to post at least two of their number as sentries. Since he had proved his prowess, they obeyed his commands with alacrity. Whether or not the sentries discouraged evildoers, there was no more sign of robbers during the journey.

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