Read The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide Online
Authors: Josie Brown
Tags: #action and adventure, #Brown, #chick lit, #contemporary romance, #espionage, #espionage books, #funny mysteries, #funny mystery, #guide, #handy household tips, #hardboiled, #household tips, #housewife, #Janet Evanovich, #Josie Brown, #love, #love and romance, #mom lit, #mommy lit, #Mystery, #relationship tips, #Romance, #romantic comedy, #romantic mysteries, #romantic mystery, #Romantic Suspense, #Suspense, #Thriller, #thriller mysteries, #thrillers mysteries, #Women Sleuths, #womens contemporary
The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide (25 page)
Oopsy. My bad.
Just before he tumbles over the balcony, he looks up at me.
The hatred I see in his eyes will stay with me, always.
No mistaking it for love, that’s for sure.
Jack holds me as we stare into the inky abyss below. All we can hear is the crashing surf.
Finally, he kisses me gently on the forehead. “Hey, have you had a chance to think about my proposal?”
I take a deep breath. “My answer is yes—now that I’m free.”
“Free? You mean… Wait!
That was Carl?
”
I nod through my tears. “He’s had facial reconstruction. He enjoyed the fact that I didn’t recognize him, but I’ll always know his voice.”
“Damn! Wish I had, since I never got to say two words to him. Those two words being, ‘Fuck you.’”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “You had your hands full, remember? And considering that you’ve been sleeping in his old bed, trust me, I’m sure he had a few choice words for you, too.”
“I’ll just bet he had.”
Had
. It all seems so final.
Carl, the father of my children, is dead. And I killed him.
In all fairness, he tried to kill me, too. Four times, in fact. Oh yeah, and obliterate the rest of the world while he was at it.
Seriously, what did I ever see in that guy?
The ruckus behind us—shouts and guns blazing—gives us fair warning that the party is over. For us, anyway.
Jack and I look down. Then we look at each other.
Holding hands, we leap out together—
And pray that the tide below us is deep enough to keep us alive.
As we plummet below the water’s surface, I say prayers that Jack and I live to see another day. That we will get home safely to Mary and Jeff and Trisha.
That for once and for all we’ve proven our love and commitment to each other.
Trust is the rarest of treasures for spies like us.
Finally my fall stops. I open my eyes. For just a few seconds, I am suspended in an underwater prism of immense beauty and wonder. A swarm of tiny rainbow fish darts away, whereas a sea turtle, almost my height, hovers just within reach. I imagine he wonders about the strange creature before him.
Good question.
Mother. Lover. Assassin. Member of the neighborhood welcoming committee.
And soon-to-be divorcee.
Then it hits me: if we survived the fall, maybe Carl did, too.
Oh….
Hell.
But I guess the fact that he’s a terrorist gives me strong grounds for divorce.
I feel an arm around my waist. It is clad in a tux jacket. As it hauls me up toward the surface, its shirt cuff glistens, blinding me when it hits a wavering shaft of light.
I can’t tell if it belongs to Carl, or to Jack.
A shiver goes up my spine. A torrent of tiny bubbles obscures the view of my savior. As they bombard me, instinctively my eyes shut tight.
All I can do is pray that I’m in the arms of the right man.
We break the surface. His kiss lets me know that it’s okay to open my eyes.
Even before I do, I know I have the answer to my prayers.
Jack smiles as he treads water beside me. “I could use that couples’ massage. How about you?” he asks.
“Sounds yummy. Let’s do it,” I answer.
Why not? It’s still my birthday.
Next Up!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I owe a lot to the following people, whose love and support gives me the courage to write, every day:
Karin Tabke, who first fell in love with this book, and pushed me (quite adamantly; what are friends for?) to make it a priority; Andy Brown, who is a go-to guru for anything technical and metaphysical. Andy, thanks making the virtual a reality; Rita Abrams, Kendra Williams, Pam Welsh, Elisa Turner, Janell Parque, Susan DiMuzio, Dianne Wallace, Jeanette Conkling, Kimberly Turner and Tom Johnson, who have sharper eyes than mine; Austin Brown and Anna Brown, who are my emotional touchstones, in so many ways; Eddie Concha, Andree Belle, Darien and Don Coleman, Linda May and Ben Brown, and Mario Martinez and Patricia Steadman, who are always there to encourage, nurture and feed me.
And always last but never least, Martin Brown: you complete me.
Dear readers: If you liked the story and Donna, I’d be honored to get a review from you! We authors live by them, and they are always appreciated.
Thank you,
—Josie Brown
HOW TO REACH JOSIE
www.HousewifeAssassinsHandbook.com
www.facebook.com/JosieBrownAuthor
NOVELS IN THE
HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES
The Housewife Assassin’s
Handbook
(Book 1)
Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one … and it happens to be government-sanctioned. But Donna earned it the hard way. Her husband was killed the day she delivered their third child. To avenge her husband's murder, Donna leads a secret life: as an assassin. But espionage makes for strange bedfellows, and brings new meaning to that old adage, "Honey, I'm home..."
The Housewife Assassin’s
Guide to Gracious Killing
(Book 2)
A nuclear arms summit, hosted by a politically connected billionaire industrialist, provides the perfect opportunity for a rogue operative to assassinate the newly elected Russian president, on American soil. Donna Stone’s mission: seek and exterminate the shooter before all hell – and World War III – breaks out. Also on Donna’s to-do list: file for divorce. Throw in a couple of killer play dates and a few naughty neighbors, and you’ve got a whole lot of fun.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Killer Christmas Tips
(Book 3)
’Tis the season for murder, mayhem and mistletoe! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna and Jack don’t find a shipping container filled with heat-seeking missiles. Forget Santa! Terror is coming to town…
The Housewife Assassin’s
Relationship Survival Guide
(Book 4)
In the fourth full-length novel #4 of Josie Brown's Housewife Assassin series, contract assassin Donna Stone's idea of a perfect relationship? A man she can trust in any situation. Yes, breaking up is hard to do. Then again, so is breaking out of a Mexican prison, and stopping a massacre by an international terrorist cell. So, how do you mend a broken heart? Donna finds out -- the hard way. And FYI: falling in love with a married man isn't heart smart. Then again, neither is dating a terrorist. But when an old love gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love, she doesn't cry. She gets even.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Vacation to Die For
(Book 5)
A nude sunbathing serial killer, a
Lord of the Flies
'tween takeover, poison-dart throwing pygmies...
Talk about a fantasy (nightmare?) island!
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy Island, home of three very different resorts:
Like Kamp KidStuff, where families frolic among dolphins, cartoon characters--and warring gangs of' tweens who believe in the law of the jungle, including human sacrifices;
And Eden Key, a nude singles sanctuary where tiki-hut treehouses provide the perfect setting for rum-fueled romances and casual hook-ups—not to mention the occasional swinger slashing…
Finally, there's the Hunt Club, which allows its members to track a very unique, soon-to-be extinct prey.
And you call this a vacation?
