Authors: Elizabeth Amelia Barrington
CHAP
TER FORTY-EIGHT
Alex and I sat on a bench in Washington Park by the rose gardens, high above the city.
"Remember when I told you that your daddy was lost."
"Um hmm. Is that the bank tower where your lawyer works?" Whenever we sat on this bench and looked over the city, Alex asked me this question. It was a tradition.
"Yes, Mr. Goldberg
works there. Paul, do you remember when I told you that your daddy was lost?"
"Yes."
"Well, I've found him. Through brand new scientific technology, it has been discovered that your daddy is Frank Armstrong."
"Who's that?"
"The man who lives with Margaret."
At this news, Alex turned to me
, a puzzled look on his face. "But, why did you just find out about it now?"
"There's new technology th
at helped us find out, and he and I are very excited and happy about it."
"What kind of 'tech
--?"
"
--When you are older, I'll explain about the technology. Right now, it's enough that you remember that Paul and I love you very much and Frank and Margaret want you to visit."
Alex
lost interest in the view of the city. "I'm not going to live with them forever, am I?" He looked stricken.
"No, honey
. No." I wrapped my arm around my son's shoulders.
"
You will be back home the next night for dinner with me. And, you can telephone me any time you want or come home any time you wish. Frank and Margaret have agreed to that."
"I don't want to go.
" He wrapped his arms around my neck and quietly sobbed.
My
heart ached. "Will you go and try it for just a few minutes? If you still don't like the idea, Margaret will bring you right back. Will you be brave and do that for me?"
Alex
stopped crying. He pulled away from the hug and looked into my eyes, as if searching for something. Then he wiped the tears from his cheeks.
"Yes.
" His voice sounded resigned. I helped him blow his nose. Why did I ever sue Frank for paternity? No amount of money is worth this.
All too soon, it was Friday afternoon and time for Alex to leave. I had carefully planned ahead for the dreaded 24 hours without Alex, in order to try to keep myself busy. It was the first time we had ever been separated for more than a few hours. I successfully suppressed my tears while I helped Alex into Margaret's car and fastened his seat belt.
"Now remember, you can call or come home anytime you want
. Isn't that right Auntie Margaret?" I looked at Margaret for confirmation.
"Yes, it is.
" Alex looked stared at a spot on the car floor.
"But, I don't know if you will want to come home,
with what all is going on at our house." Margaret said.
"What do you mean?" Alex
asked.
'Well, for one thing, Frank
has bought you a new pony to celebrate your first visit."
"A pony! For me to keep?
" His eyes were wide with wonder.
"Yes
. For you to keep. It won't be at the house after today, because it needs room to run in the country. But, Frank will take you to the pony as often as you like."
He turned to
me. "Is it really true, Mommy?"
"Yes, if Aunt Margaret says so, then you can believe it."
"Wow. What
else
did he buy?"
"He invited all his neighbors and friends and their
children, and his brother from New York, and put up a big tent pavilion in the back yard. Oh--and the whole place is covered with balloons, and there's a clown walking around passing them out."
"I see
. Just some low-key, quality, one-on-one time with Alex." I smirked.
"Right," Margaret answered.
"Well, let's go!" Alex could hardly wait.
Margaret waved goodbye and pulled away from the curb
. Alex's eyes were riveted on the road ahead.
I
shivered. For the first time in his life, Alex's facial expression reminded me a little of Frank.
###
Frank's brother Eddie looked down in wonder at Alex, whose little hand was intertwined with Frank's.
"So, this
is your son."
"Yes
. This is my son." Frank smiled, his face bursting with pride.
Edward and his wife Vivian
had been unable to have children. During Vivian's final pregnancy, she had been on bed rest from the moment her doctor had given her the joyous news that she was once again expecting a baby. But, in spite of all their precautions, she had miscarried in her fourth month. After a decade of attempts and five heartbreaking pregnancies, each ending in miscarriage, they had stopped trying. On several occasions, Edward had tried to discuss the adoption of a baby with his wife. Eventually, he had been forced to admit to himself that the subject of babies and children was too painful a topic to broach.
Late one night, as they were sitting in bed reading, he had brought up the adoption question and turned to see his wife close her eyes and begin to sob
. Finally, she had asked, "Do you really think that anything could replace all the babies I've lost?" Eventually, she had had a change of heart, and the result was their golden-haired, adopted daughter Grace, who had recently married and had a son.
Now, he scrutinized Frank's fine-looking son, whose young face radiated intelligence
. Truly, at that moment, life seemed to offer an array of haphazard fates. His ne'er-do-well brother, apparently without even trying if his story was to be believed, had managed to produce a charming son who would be the pride of any father. Edward could see little resemblance to Frank in Alex's face or manner. Perhaps a little something about the way he held his mouth. Yes, that was it, he decided. But, that was all. The mother or her people must be beautiful, he thought.
He knelt do
wn in the grass and offered Alex his hand, and Alex, looking grave and far older than his years, responded by shaking the offered hand in a very adult way. "I'm your uncle Eddie. You and I are going to be great friends. How would you like to come and visit me in New York sometime?"
"Okay.
" It was a lot for a five-year-old to take in, even one as precocious as Alex.
"Come with your Uncle Eddie
and me, and we'll get your clown to give you some balloons to pass out. How would you like that?" Frank said.
"Is he really
my
clown, Frank?"
"You better believe he's really your clown
. And, kid?"
Pa
ul looked up into Frank's face, shading his eyes from the light. "Call me Dad."
"Okay
--Dad."
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
That night I enjoyed what I thought of as "the mother of all girlfriend parties." Paul was due to arrive on the redeye at midnight. I couldn't wait to see him, but the party would be a distraction. I fried corn tortillas in olive oil. Huge pitchers of Margaritas cooled in the refrigerator, and the fixings for ground turkey tacos with lettuce, cheese, my own homemade salsa and guacamole dip would soon be spread out over the counter.
Margaret
was the first guest to arrive. She busied herself in the kitchen, placing dishes in the dishwasher and wiping the counters. The doorbell rang and she hurried to the front door to answer it and then ushered the glamorous Cecelia into the kitchen. Cecelia wore a flowing silver pantsuit that matched her shining hair. I made introductions and mentioned that Cecilia was also a gourmet cook. Soon, Cecelia and Margaret were sipping drinks and discussing recipes and entertainment strategies sitting next to each other at the barstools along the kitchen counter.
The doorbell again rang, and Margaret put her drink down and stood to answer it.
"Margaret, if you don't take off that apron and stop answering the door and cleaning, I'm going to have to throttle you. You do know that don't you?" I said.
"Margaret resumed
sitting. I was only trying to help." She looked hurt.
"I know that, dear, but you're a
guest
at my party, and I want you to relax and enjoy yourself."
The r
emainder of my friends arrived together. Everyone was introduced to Cecelia. I laid out some carefully prepared hors d'oeuvres, which were greatly appreciated. My CD mix blared throughout the house with party music. Soon, my guests filled their taco shells to perfection and moved into the breakfast room to eat.
"How are you doing?" Jennifer asked
me.
"I
was pretty broken up about Alex being away overnight, but now I'm feeling shamelessly happy. The two Margaritas I've already downed didn't hurt, either."
"After everything you've been through, don't you feel a bit guilty.
" Eileen said. Eileen, still as petite as ever, had blossomed into a confident, well-dressed young woman. For the party, she had eschewed her normal blue jeans and t-shirt and wore an A-line, shin-length dress the color of a cornflower.
"Yeah, let's just be happy tonight.
" Betts said.
Jennifer and Betts were married with two children. Jennifer worked at home as an in-demand
, children’s book illustrator. Betts had become a vascular surgeon married to a vascular surgeon whom she had met during her residency. Only Eileen remained unmarried. She had majored in French and lived outside Paris working for an airline.
At that moment, the song "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" began to play on the CD player.
"Let's dance!" Jennifer exclaimed.
Laughing, they all left the table, carrying their drinks with them
. I had been concerned that Cecelia would having nothing in common with my much younger friends, but she was deeply into the spirit of the group frivolity. Once in the living room, she linked arms and twirled with Betts and then Eileen, before dancing off on her own to the pounding beat. I grabbed my cell and took pictures of everyone dancing.
Eventually, stuffed with food
and softened by alcohol, we all piled onto the sofas and chairs in the living room. Margaret determined that she had been away from Alex long enough and regretfully said her goodbyes and drove away.
"Now it's time for coffee and cookies.
" I announced.
"Cookies! After tacos?
My diet is ruined--I'll gain ten pounds because of you, girl." Eileen said.
"There is to be no mention of the dreaded and distasteful "d" word in my presence today
. We can all eat salads tomorrow." I said.
I
brought in coffee cups with cream and sugar on a tray, followed by a plate of homemade oatmeal pecan cookies. The sun was setting, so I turned on some lights.
"I'm calling Alex
. I can't stand it any longer." I said.
"How many times have you called today?
" Eileen asked, as she bit into her second cookie.
"This will be my first call of the day."
I dialed Frank's number, and Margaret answered the phone. "It's me. How's Alex doing?"
"Oh
--he's having a lovely time, dear. He's gone with Frank, and Edward to take the pony over to the boarding stable. They should be back in a couple of hours. Alex was so excited about the pony I thought he might levitate--he rode it around outside here for over two hours. Or, you could call Frank's cell."
"No
. That's okay. It sounds as if Alex is fine. If he wants to, have him call me--I'm home. Otherwise, I'll see him tomorrow."
"How did the rest of your party go,
Vicky?"
"Great
. They're all still here. Now, it's sobering up time."
"They really are a nice bunch
. You're lucky to have such great people as friends."
"Don't I know it
. We all feel exactly the same way about you, Margaret. I'm blessed to have you in my life."
Eventually, the designated drive
r, Betts, who had consumed only one drink, decided she was sober enough to chauffer everyone home. Cecelia departed along with them and left in her chauffeured limousine. In the silence of the house, I vacuumed and otherwise cleaned up after my guests and thought about how I had taken for granted that I would always have Alex with me.
I
sat at the kitchen table and tried to analyze what I felt. The party had taught me a great lesson. I loved my old friends more than ever. And, I was becoming very fond of Cecelia. Life without any of them around would be bereft of joy. In contrast, my son
is
my life. I knew I could live without him, because I had learned to live without my father and then without Mom, but he would always be a part of me, a part of my heart's blood in the way that is unique to mother and child.
Now he was with
Frank, a man with a heart of stone and a dead soul. This separation was like nothing I had ever experienced, and I hated it. Deep inside me lingered fear and dread for my son, but I pushed those thoughts away to hope for the best.
Somehow, I fell asleep on the sofa waiting for Paul. I opened my eyes, and
there he was sitting beside me.
He kissed my cheek until I
fully woke up. "How are you?"
I rub
bed my eyes. "I'm fine. The party was great."
"That's good. How's Alex doing? Have you called him?" Paul asked.
"Yeah--Frank went all out and threw a big party with a tent, a clown--even bought Alex a pony. Margaret said he's doing fine."
"That's good. I was afraid something would go wrong. I've missed you. Want to catch up?"
Boy did I.
Paul kissed me tenderly, a
t first. Then, hungrily. Our sex life still sizzled, and Paul's love and care for Alex only made him more attractive to me.
We kissed for a long time, like teenagers
making out. Then Paul picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. In his loving embrace, I forgot all my cares and clung to him. In the empty house, we could be as loud and abandoned as we wanted--an old married couple acting like kids.
Afterward, I rested my head on his shoulder for a long time. Paul liked to cuddle afterward and talk--another thing I loved about him.
We talked about Alex, about our lives, about future vacations, and I remembered the first time we had done this at his studio apartment so long ago.