The Hungry House (6 page)

"I've schedule
d you for an EKG, an angiography, and possibly an angiogram."

"Okay, I've had EKG be
fore. Isn't an angiography terribly painful, and what's it for?

"It can be
very uncomfortable, but not the way I do it. You will have a shot to numb the area, of course, and then I will give you something to calm you. You won't even remember it. If any of the arteries to your heart are found to be clogged, that will be repaired. That should ease your angina for the present. Does that make sense, Mrs. Howell? "

"Yes
. Thank you doctor." She smiled.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Not right now."

"All right
. Well, if that's everything for now, I'm going over to the kitchen to see if I can get Margaret to give me a cup of her excellent coffee while I make the necessary arrangements. She's probably already got it made. I'll be right back."

I
took Mom's hand and held it. Her gray eyes had a tired expression, and her eyelids were puffy.

"Hey
, are you afraid or worried about this?"

"No, actually I'm somewhat relieved
. The pain was very bad this time. I'm glad we have someone doing something about it. Vicky, dear, can you pack a change of clothes for me in my overnight bag?"

"Oh
--yes. What was I thinking?"

Margaret
walked into the room, and her face, which had always seemed to be a perpetual mask of ill temper, seemed transformed. An inner light shone from her eyes. In her arms, she carried some sort of delicate pieces of clothing, which she placed on the bed. She handed Liz a silken, rose-colored item.

"I saved these things
. They belonged to Frank's mother. She ordered them and never got a chance to wear them. They were still in their ribbon-wrapped box."

"Why
, it's a bed jacket. I haven't seen one of these in a long time. But, don't you think it is a little too nice for the hospital?" Liz asked.

"Not at all, Liz
. It belonged to a lady, and now it is to be worn by another lady." Mom's eyes filled with tears, and she reached out her arms to Margaret. They hugged.

"You can wear it during your
tests. See, it has loose, three-quarter sleeves, so they can still put in an IV. Dr. Rutherford will let you wear it. I also brought these pairs of beautiful underpants. They were hand-stitched and embroidered, and they're silk like this robe--never been worn. You might have to take off the underpants for the procedure--I don't know. But everything you put on or take off will be beautiful."

"Margaret
, how can I ever thank you?"

"Oh, it's no
skin off my teeth, for heaven's sake."

I
was in Mom's room packing things into a battered overnight case, but when Margaret came in and saw it, she immediately deemed it to be unworthy. She rushed over to the house and came back with a small, brown Louis Vuitton leather case for the hospital trip.

"Okay,"
I laughed, "are you going to exchange her toothbrush now?"

"Hey, don't tempt me
! I only wish I had time to find a new dress for her to wear home." We giggled.

The
ambulance arrived. I rode with Mom to the hospital.

She
was set up in a hospital room and from there she was taken to various tests, all completed or supervised by Dr. Rutherford. During these times alone, I tried to read the book I brought,
The Reserve,
by Russell Banks. The book's topic was the American upper class of the 1930's, and in some ways, it seemed to mirror the life I now lived, which gave me an odd, unsteady feeling.

I closed the book and listened to music for a while with my eyes closed. Something a little up, this time. I decided on "Love Somebody:" "I really wanna love somebody
I really wanna dance the night away" It helped a little. Thanks Maroon 5.

Dr. Rutherford had assured us
that all would be well, but somehow I could not quite believe it. Each time Mom came back into the room, Dr. Rutherford showed up to ask how she felt and if she needed anything. At one point, she said she was hungry, and he fetched and delivered a bowl of Jell-O.

Finally, all the tests were completed
, and Liz seemed groggy and relaxed.

Dr
. Rutherford listened to her heart, read the chart notes, and turned to me with a face devoid of all expression. "Everything went perfectly. She should have a respite from her angina for a while."

"
But--"

"As I said, everything went well."

So, she's fine?" For some reason, I felt that he was not telling me everything, but then I talked myself out of it. I'm just borrowing trouble. There's nothing to worry about.

When Mom
's broth was brought to her, the doctor left, first giving her his card. "That number goes directly to me. If you should have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to call me. I can be reached day or night."

"Thank you doctor
. You've been wonderful."

"I'll be back in the morning."

I read a chapter of my book to my mother, which put her asleep. I went to lie down to sleep on the foamed window alcove.

"Oh, no you don't."

"What do you mean? I want to stay here with you."

"That's just silly
. I want you to go home and sleep in your own bed."

"Well
--I'd really like to, but I don't have any way to get home." I teased.

"Call Margaret
and have her come and pick you up."

"Oh,
all right. But, I'll be back in the morning. You can't get rid of me that easily"

The following morning, I
woke up at 5:00 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. When I first woke up, I had been dreaming that I was trying to telephone Mom from a phone booth, but the call would not go through. It was very important, but the more frantically I tried to dial, the worse the situation became, until finally the telephone disintegrated in my hand.

I
went down to the kitchen, made coffee, and tried to study. I read the same paragraph three times and had no idea what it was all about. I gave up and got into the shower. I turned on some Schumann and made coffee. There was a knock at the door, and when I answered, I found Margaret standing on the step holding a casserole dish.

"I
come bearing gifts. I saw your light and thought I might as well bring over my leftover lasagna."

"Would you like to come in
? How about something hot to drink?"

"Some of your mother's Earl Grey tea would be great.
" Once again, I was stunned by the change that had come over Margaret. Her salt and pepper hair and black eyes against her olive skin created a striking impression. She had recently taken to letting down her wavy hair, instead of wearing it in a bun.

I
put the teakettle on to boil. As I sat down at the table, I suddenly felt like crying.

"Yeah, well
--I couldn't sleep, so I got up to study and then couldn't do that either. Something just doesn't sit right with me."

"Oh, go on
. Let it out, dear." That was all I could bear. I put my head on my arms on the table and sobbed as Margaret quickly came and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"But, everything's going to be fine
. You'll see."

"I know
. I don't know what's wrong with me." I realized that crying had made me feel a lot better, as if I had released poison from my system.

"Can I make you one of my 'famous' omelets?
" I got up and dried my eyes with a paper towel.

"Oh no
thanks. I'm one of these people who cannot eat before noon," Margaret replied.

"I don't know what's wrong with me
. It's like the hair is standing up on the back of my neck or something. I feel that something really bad is going to happen." I said.

CHAPTER NINE

At about 8:00 o'clock
in the morning, Dr. Rutherford telephoned to say that he was coming over to see me. I pressed him, but he would not explain anything on the telephone.

Instinctively good
at reading people, I noticed that he looked down at the floor as he walked through the front door. My anxiety level went up several notches.

.
He followed me into the kitchen and we sat down at the table with Margaret.

"
Vicky, I need to speak to you alone." Suddenly, I hated the idea of being alone.

"
I want Margaret to stay."

"All right
. Very well." He cleared his throat while studying his hands on the table. I know what he's going to say. I've felt it since yesterday.

Finally, he forced himself to look direc
tly into me, and I was surprised to see there was a sort of agony in his young eyes.

"I have some
bad news. I didn't tell you yesterday, because I wanted to be sure. Your mother kept complaining of pain just below her ribcage, so I ran some blood tests. A biopsy has confirmed that she has a malignant tumor in her chest bone. Fortunately, it has not yet metastasized into her lymph glands or her blood stream."

"You said 'malignant
.' You mean she has cancer." I said.

"Yes, I'm afraid so
."

"Well, what are we doing here
? I need to go to the hospital immediately." With a jerky movement, I rose from the table.

"Please sit down.
"

Reluctantly, and with great effort,
I resumed my seat.

"I want to make every effort
to save your mother, and that is what she wants. She will be coming home in a few minutes. Tomorrow, she will have surgery to remove the malignant tumor and then begin chemotherapy as soon as she is strong enough. I plan to bring in a multidisciplinary team for her care--physical therapist, pain management, and an oncologist to monitor her progress. All will be working under my supervision."

"Now, here'
s the really important part: if you have any crying to do, do it now and get it over with. You have a very brave mother, and I want you to do everything you can to support her. Think of the situation this way: there is every reason to believe that her treatment will work. I will see that she receives the best care available. But, there is a very important consideration that families sometimes lose sight of in the race to cure a loved one. If the treatment doesn't work, and this is only a hypothetical mind you, if the treatment doesn't work, then don't you want this to be quality time with your mother? And how can it be quality time for her, if she has to use up all her scarce energy by constantly supporting you in your sadness? Don't do that to her. If she dies, and she probably won't, but if she dies, you will have plenty of time for grieving. Use this time wisely."

"Thank you doctor
. I understand"

"If you have any questions, you have my card, right
? I'll see myself out. I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news."

"Should I call someone for you?"
Margaret asked.

"No, I'll talk
my friends later.

Margaret
and I brought Mom home.

"I would like to lie down out in the patio this afternoon.
" Mom said. The warm, sunny day provided a perfect setting for her.

"Okay
. Let's go back there. What do you think about some lemonade?

"Sounds great."

"I just want you to know that --"

"
Vicky, I know it may be very hard for you, dear, but let's not talk about anything serious right now. I've had enough of that. We both know what's going on. I just want to listen to the birds and feel the wind on my face. Who knows? I may even go to sleep" Liz laughed. I mused: Dr. Rutherford really understands my mother. I want to go over every little thing about her illness with her, when she just wants to relax.

After delivering the lemonade out to the patio,
I busied myself with making a salad with garlic toast. Mom drifted off to sleep in the patio lounge, but I planned to wake her up in an hour or so for a meal. A knock at the door interrupted my vegetable chopping. It was Mr. Armstrong. I invited him into the kitchen.

"Would you like some of our lunch?"

"No, nothing for me, dear. I have some things I need to talk to you about. I hate to intrude upon you at this time, but it is necessary." Something about the tone of his voice caused me to stop and look at him closely. He looked younger today, somehow lighter.

"Yes
? I'm listening." I poured myself a cup of coffee and offered some to Frank, which he declined. We sat at the table.

"Jim
--uh--Dr. Rutherford tells me that your mother is very ill and will require extensive treatment." Oh, no. He isn't going to pay for it after all. I knew it was too good to be true.

"Can you tell me her diagnosis
? Would you mind? Jim wouldn't tell me."

"Well, basically she has cancer, but it's not hopeless."

Frank nodded thoughtfully. "I guessed it might be cancer. I want you to know that the doctor is on retainer for me. He gets paid whether he does anything or not. If he needs the help of other specialists or expenses, there is a huge family trust we hold, more like an account, if you will, for that type of expenses. The way the funds are being invested, they just keep growing. The money is there."

"But that's not what I came here to talk to you about.
" He shifted in his seat. "Mrs. Black and I have discussed it, and you can temporarily cut back on most of your duties while you nurse your mother back to health. We'll hire temps in the meantime. But, have you thought about your school work?"

"In what way?"

"Well, I think that your studies will be a welcome distraction, but perhaps you should reduce your schedule down to part time. And, don't you think that perhaps the work-study should be terminated for this term, perhaps for the year? Jim will provide you with a letter documenting the severity of your mother's condition." I tried to think, but my mind went blank. Then, I remembered that I had been setting aside my work-study wages for Mom's medical care.

I found myself nodding.
"Yes, you're right. I think part time school is all I can handle right now. That way, I'll be closer at hand for Mom."

"Good, good
. Well, if you think you can handle it, there is one thing at the house I could use some help with. I'd like to begin socializing a bit more, now that I've moved to this area. I want to have a dinner party in a couple of months, and have you work on the invitations and so forth. Would that be okay? You can work on it here at the cottage. Here is the list of people I want to invite with their addresses." Frank handed me a legal pad. On it, he had scribbled names and addresses. Lot's of them.

"
'l'll use a stationary company that does engraved invitations. Could you research a few companies for me and what they would charge for fifty invitations, please?"

"O
f course."

"By Saturday will be fine."

I quickly scanned the pages. "The first thing I need to do is to type out the list, so you can make sure I'm reading your handwriting correctly. Have you thought of the menu? And will the cooking be catered?"

"Great
. You're thinking ahead already, even in your time of need. By the way, how are you holding up?" He reached over and placed one of his large hands over one of my smaller ones where it held the legal pad. I involuntarily shivered.

"What's wrong, dear?  Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, I'm fine. I think I just need a sweater."

"Okay.
" He removed his hand. "Well, I'm heading back over to the house now. Let me or Mrs. Black know right away, if there's anything you need."

As soon as he left the cottage, the kitchen telephone rang
. I thought I'd never finish preparing this salad. 

"Hi.
" It was Paul. I sank into a chair with the receiver.

"You sound weird
. How's everything going?" I began to sob and then tried to control myself.

"Now, you're really scaring me
."

"A lot has been going on around here
. My mom was in the hospital overnight for her heart problems, and they discovered she has cancer. It's treatable. She's scheduled to start chemotherapy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry
. Is there anything
I
can do? Actually, I'd like to come over to see you and your mom for a few minutes. Is that okay?"

"Sure
. You can come over. I'd love to see you, but my mom might be asleep."

"That's fine
. If she's asleep, I'll be quiet. See you in about an hour."

Al
most exactly an hour later, I heard a knock on the front door and looking out the window saw Paul holding two dozen yellow roses and a large, brown paper bag in his arms. I unlocked the door and we hugged.

"Now, I'm going to start crying again, if we keep hugging.
" I took the perfect roses. "These are beautiful. I'll find something to put these in and place them in Mom's room. They are for Mom, right?"

"Yes, they're for your m
om. I seemed to recall you like Chinese food, so I bought a Chinese dinner for you to have later. I can't stay long. I have a class soon." I went to put the roses in a vase and the food in the refrigerator and then returned to sit next to Paul on the sofa. He put his arm around me, and I placed my head on his shoulder. We sat in a comfortable and dreamy silence for some time.

Finally,
I sat up and looked into Paul's eyes. "I'm so glad you're here. I feel a little better about everything. I'd better go check on my Mom. She's napping out on the patio." I found her unsuccessfully trying to get up from the patio lounge chair.

"My chest is bothering me
. I need to take something for pain and get into bed for a while."

"Just a minute
. I'll grab Paul to help us. Okay?" Mom nodded.

I went in to Paul
sitting on the sofa. "Can you help me get my mother to bed?"

"Sure."

I took one of Mom's arms under the shoulder, thinking that Paul would take the other. He stood for an instant thoughtfully looking at Liz's tiny frame and then lightly moved her away from me, picked her up in his arms as if she were a bag of feathers, and followed me to the bedroom. There, he waited while I pulled back the covers, and he carefully laid her down on the bed.

###

Someone was tracking how long Paul stayed in the cottage.