Chapter 46
Vanderhaar left his office filled with apprehension. The plans he’d been working on for so long had not come to fruition. His former partner was running free. Somehow, he’d managed to escape the detachment the Trust sent to retrieve him. The damn computer system was frustrating him, he wanted to request a warrant to locate Matt, but doing so would create a paper trail making him useless to the Trust. Perry, the damned fool, would have been able to get around that problem, but then that was why he had to have him killed. No, however he proceeded, it was best if Matt just disappeared. He could falsify the paperwork to make it look like they sent him back to Earth.
To make matters worse, they could get rid of him now without a paper trail. Furthermore he wasn’t getting anywhere with locating the killer. He couldn’t even count on Matt to help him fix that problem before he turned him over. His personal transport, a sleek sporty model, waited for him in the parking basement under the station. He hadn’t taken two steps from the lift toward it when he heard the old familiar voice.
“I think I’ll turn you in,” Matt’s voice echoed off the walls. “But who would I turn you in to? I’ll have to give that some thought.”
“You’re sick, Dales. Come on out, we’ll get you to a hospital where your doctor can help you.”
“Help me?” Matt chuckled. “I think I’ve had enough of your help.”
“Come on out, we’ll work this out.” Vanderhaar felt his side arm for assurance.
“Like you did in Dallas. How many people have you killed, Ken? That worker, and his family, the girl in Dallas, Perry? I’m sure there are more deaths to your credit than that partner.”
“You got it back, huh? The medical reports said you might. Yeah, right. Who are you going turn me into? I’m the law here?” Vanderhaar laughed. “Just who do you think I work for? How do you think a Dallas detective gets a sweet gig like this?”
“The companies are behind this?” Matt asked, just for clarification. “Just like they were in Dallas.”
“I’ll go to the governor.”
“Even if you make it to him, it would be your word against mine, and I haven’t been adjudicated psychologically compromised. I’ll tell them that you are insane. I’ve got so much evidence built up against you now, you’re gonna spend the rest of your days in a psyche ward.”
“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t go that way, Ken.”
Vanderhaar drew his gun and fired in the direction of the voice. Bullet’s ricocheted off the walls, one of them struck Vanderhaar in the leg and he dropped. “Officer needs assistance, parking garage.” He gasped into his radio.
“They won’t get here in time.” Matt responded from a shadow. “Looks painful.”
“Damn you.” Vanderhaar raised the gun again. Matt came up quickly from behind and kicked it out of his hand. “It’s over now. Kill me and they’ll crucify you.”
“But what will they do when I crucify you?” Matt smiled. “You destroyed me, Ken, and the payback won’t be easy.” Matt dropped a bloody glob on the ground before him. “Oh, I hope you don’t mind. I borrowed some things from your car.” He dangled a weapon belt in front of his former friend then retracted it quickly as Vanderhaar lunged. “I’ll be seeing you, partner.”
Vanderhaar turned his forward momentum into a dive for his gun. He grabbed the weapon and readied it as he spun to draw on his former partner.
Matt was gone.
“Dales?” He called. There was no answer save the opening of the lift, followed by a group of officers piling out in a defensive formation. Vanderhaar looked at the bloody palm chip Matt had dropped before him.
How far can he go without money or access?
Vanderhaar allowed himself a moment of satisfaction. Matt might have made himself harder to find, but every officer knew him on sight, and the crazy ex-officer was now exiled from the system. He wouldn’t even be able to open a door.
Chapter 47
People were scattered all around the former detective in the dim light. For the first time in years, it didn’t bother him in the least. In fact, he remembered each person moving past him before they did. Most of his memories remained a jumble, but if he focused on the moment, then he could remember everything quite clearly moments before it occurred. He moved among his fellow colonists in total security as he made his way to the place the last woman was killed.
Matt was no longer a detective, but he had a ‘hunch’ that only finding the killer would bring closure with Jill. Most of his memories were still tumultuous; his subconscious mind was growing weary of trying to sort them all out. He slumped on the ground where the last victim had died and closed his eyes to rest. He awoke sometime later.
The light of the rising primary glinted off a small piece of metal on the grass. He scooped up the necklace and appraised it. It was Jill’s. He remembered it against her flesh as they made love. The image changed to another memory of Jill on a scaffold, high in the dome.
“Let go, Matt, evolve!” she said. He had a vision of her bloody palm and he looks at his own. She was still alive. Somehow, she’d managed to survive. His memories were still a jumble. He was still repressing them.
Matt knew that he had to find Jill and he knew that he had to get to her before she was shot and fell to her death. He had now completely accepted the fact that his flashes and dreams were memories; many were of things that hadn’t happened yet. It was hard to sort them out. But, most importantly, he had to find Jill, because he knew that someone was going to follow her up the dome scaffolding, and shoot her. She would fall to her death if he couldn’t save her.
There was only one way to accomplish that. He needed access to all his memories. This meant that the last vestiges of his sanity barrier had to be eliminated, he had to “let go and evolve”. To do that, he needed something of value to trade. He looked at the necklace in his hands. No, he thought. It belonged to Jill and he wouldn’t part with it unless there was no other choice. He remembered, however, that he would shortly have another way to get what he needed.
“Hello, Kramer.” He stepped out of the shadows behind the officer, taking the security officer’s gun from the holster before he could reach for it.
“Dales.” He said curtly. “You are under arrest.”
“I really don’t think so.”
“Have you completely lost it?” Kramer sounded incredulous. “The chief backed you, gave you a chance and you shot him. We’re going to throw away the key.”
“He told you that?” Matt asked. “Yeah, well I guess he would. I would have thought, being his dog and all that he’d at least have been upfront with you. Guess you can never tell. However, just for the fun of it, I’ll tell you the truth. That should be a nice change for you.”
“Chief was right, you are crazy.”
“He shot himself.”
“Sure he did.”
“The man has all the grace of a hippo, got himself with a ricochet.”
“Have you lost all your marbles?”
“No worse, for him, and you, I found them. All of them and some that aren’t even lost yet.” Matt said. “Now, give it to me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The Fantasia in your pocket, you have six doses. I want them all.”
“I don’t have anything.”
“I will shoot you in your chip first, so that they think you died. Then some other organ so that you wish you had. Do we understand each other?”
“You wouldn’t…” Matt aimed the gun at his hand, sighting carefully down the barrel. “Okay. Here, take them.” The officer pulled out a package of small capsules.
“Give me your belt.”
Kramer complied and let it drop.
“Now, walk forward. Do not look back or I’ll shoot you.” Kramer obeyed, turned and walked away. Matt pulled the radio out of the belt and stomped it into the ground. The belt would be useful. He pulled out the tangler grenades and first aid kit and dropped the belt next to the smashed radio. “By the way, not for nothing, but he’s keeping a lot of really damning information on you. When it is convenient, you’ll go down.”
By the time Kramer looked back, Matt was long gone.
He made his way to the maintenance section. No one there knew what he looked like, and in the maintenance uniform the station gave him, it seemed appropriate. Recollections continued to rise unpredictably. He tried to focus on Jill, but the memories wouldn’t fall into order. He could feel the haze caused by the drugs the psychiatrist had been feeding him. They were impairing his ability to remember. Residual effects would eventually fade, but not soon enough.
The men who attacked him had injected him with Fantasia. They hoped it would make him docile and forget everything; it didn’t work as it was supposed to. Instead, it weakened the drugs that hid all his memories. To obliterate the wall and get them all back, he needed more. He needed a safe place to go, where he could take the drug in peace and ride out the cyclone that followed. It wasn’t a choice that brought him back to the den, it was memory. The den was where he remembered taking the drug that freed his mind, so that was where he headed.
“Become, Evolve.” Jill’s worlds rang through his ears as he walked into the shop.
Go to sleep and go insane,
Past and future all the same
The woman behind the counter agreed to give Matt a room for the night, and some food, in exchange for four of the vials. The room was small, with no windows. The only air came from the ducts. He sat on a small bed, ate a couple of soy burgers and vanilla shake, and then injected himself with both doses. He lay back in the bed, humming the song the children had been singing: “the screamers.”
The effect came upon him gradually, and less chaotic, this round. The last time it had been as though he were hit with a million, lead, jigsaw puzzle pieces. His brain could only make sense of the ones he had most wanted to remember, those of what really happened to him in Dallas. Now the drug started placing all the memories in order, sorting them into a coherent whole.
Matt remembered the next seven years of his life, all of it. There was no longer any question for which he wouldn’t have the answer. What he didn’t know, the rows of blank faces would tell him.
Matt remembered a conversation that he would be having quite soon. He figured the discussion would be a charade as he could already remember the answers to the questions. Still, when the time came, he would pace back and forth before the people strapped to the chairs and ask. “Why did Jill kill all those people?”
“Because she had to.” They would intone.
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“For you.” They would say.
“Me?”
“To save you from your mistake. You shot the dome. It was damaged. It was going to break. She remembered how to stop it.”
In his mind, he saw himself shooting the gun in the park; he saw bullets ricocheting of the metal, except for one bullet, which chipped the dome, weakening it. The dome was ready to crack like an egg.
“Remembered? Was Jill exposed to the Mind Rip?”
“Yes, “the voices answered in unison.
“Why didn’t she end up a screamer?”
“She accepted what she saw.” The faces in the darkness explained.
“All those people, why kill them?”
“Because she remembered doing so.” they whispered.
“How did she know how to kill?”
“She remembered,” they said.
“How did she know when?”
“She remembered.” They intoned again.
Jill’s voice rang in his mind. “I have always loved you. I have waited for you my whole life.”
“She killed those people, because she remembered killing them?”
“She had no choice.” The voices intoned.
“There is always a choice.”
“Not for here. Each step led to the next, leading to you, leading to saving the dome and the colony. Change one thing and the chain breaks.” They said.
“So, to save the colony,” he remembered how the lump will form in his throat as he speaks, “To save me, she had to kill?”
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“Because she remembered.”
Matt didn’t want to remember any more of the conversation. His chest hurt and he had important things to do. He felt the drugs losing control of him. Soon he’d be awake,
When he finally came out of his drug-induced stupor, Matt saw a note on the pillow written in Jill’s handwriting. The same handwriting that had been on all the notes on his door. “I’m waiting my love, I’ve always been waiting.” She would be waiting and now he knew where. Matt pulled himself together and ran out of the drug den to stop Jill from killing her last victim.
Chapter 48
On the edge of the dome, he saw the security gate that led to the scaffolding; it was open. He paced himself as he climbed. He would need his strength if he were going to save both of them. Each turn popped into his memory as he approached. A maze crisscrossed the entire colonial dome. Clear polymer compounds a few inches thick was all that stood between him and the dense acidic atmosphere of the planet, clear polymers that were now cracking where his bullet struck.
Finally, he reached the spot where Jill stood, a worker kneeling before her with a knife to his throat. Matt approached slowly. His heart leapt to see her alive.
“Hello Jill.” His voice cracked with emotion as he spoke.
A loud alarm went off, warning the population to make for the nearest bunker. He could see the large crack above her head starting to leak droplets of acid a few feet behind her. “I missed you.” She said.
“Don’t kill him. You don’t have to kill him.”
“I’m sorry, Matt. I wish there was another way. The dome is cracking.” She said. “I can’t have his life changing things, it’s too important to risk.”
“There is always a choice.”
“No,” she said sadly, “Only fate, I know what I have to do, I have always known. I have to save you. I have to save my students and their families.”
“I know, from where I shot it.”
“Then let me stop it.”
“We will. We’ll stop it together.”
“I didn’t want to kill them, Matt. I never wanted to kill anyone, but time is a chain. You can’t change one thing without changing what follows. You’ll understand. Become, Matt. Evolve.”
“I have. It’s okay, I understand. I finally understand.”
“From the time I arrived eight years ago, I knew how it all had to happen. If I let anything change, I would never get you. I wouldn’t be here to take this man’s chip and use his tools to fix the breach. If I didn’t kill them, thousands would die. I saw it all coming, everything. I couldn’t change anything.”
“There is another way; you don’t have to kill him.” He tried to console her, but couldn’t shake the fear that she was correct, that things couldn’t change. If he could remember every moment of the next seven years, and the Mind Rip victims of the Trust were going to tell him everything, then what free will did any of them have? Was he just standing there with Jill saying their lines in some cosmic farce? Could gods be that cruel? No, he couldn’t allow himself to believe that, knowing what came next wasn’t a strait jacket, but an opportunity. Maybe if he changed what was going to happen his memories of the future would change too.
“I remember how to fix it exactly, I’m not an engineer, if I deviate from what I remember doing, it might change, then I won’t know what I’m doing. I won’t be able to help.”
“That’s how you knew how to kill those people without getting caught, you remembered doing it?”
“Fate is a bitch, but she gave me detailed memories of what to do. If I don’t do this, it will all be for nothing, all those people, and their dead faces. I would rather die than live with that.”
“I can’t let you kill him.” Matt pulled out his gun.
“Its destiny, everything is happening as it is supposed to. You can’t stop me.”
Matt aimed and pulled the trigger, shooting the knife from her hand.
“What have you done?”
“I have saved you. I saw how this ended too, I won’t kill you Jill, I choose not to.”
“How?” She collapses onto the hard metal of the catwalk. “No, that wasn’t supposed to happen. How?”
“Choice, Jill. We still have free will.” he said. “It’ll be all right.”
“No, it won’t.” She started to cry. “I knew everything, I saw everything. I know how I die, how I was supposed to die. I’ve always known I had to kill, even as a little girl I saw their faces.”
“Why kill them?”
“Gods a bastard, that’s why. How the hell should I know? I couldn’t change things. I never got to know why, you were the only why I got.”
The alarm grew louder.
“It’s about to break” Jill pointed to a growing crack in the glass. “I’m sorry, Matt, I failed we are all going to die now.”
Matt retrieved one of Kramer’s tangler grenades and activated it. “One, Two, Three, Four, heads down!” He threw it toward the cracking material. The grenade exploded, sending its liquid adhesive flying against the glass, and the sound diminished. He pulled out another and repeated the procedure then another. By then the cracking had stopped. He had one grenade left, so he used it also.
Matt sat down next to Jill and put his arm around her. “It’s over,” he said.
“No,” she moaned. “You changed fate. No one changes fate. Nothing has ever changed it. Fate is Fate! No!” She struggled to her feet and ran up the scaffolding.
“People make our own choices. Please relax, we’ll get through this.” He stood as well.
“I love you, I have always loved you. You’ll never know how hard it was to wait for you to love me knowing how it will end. Everything I did, I did for you, for them.” She burst into hysterical laughter. “I didn’t have to kill. I had a choice. When was I ever given a choice? You changed everything. I could have…”
While Matt had been trying to calm down the murderess he loved, he didn’t notice the security officer approached from the other side of the scaffolding.
“Don’t move.” The officer called out.
“Free will. Don’t look at me, I’m a killer.” She stepped toward the worker she was about to kill. “I would have killed him.”
“I said don’t move.” the guard pulled the trigger. The dome resounded with an echoing noise and the projectile struck Jill dead in the chest. The force of the impact staggered her backward. She lost her balance and tumbled from the catwalk. Matt dove to try to catch her, but as he reached out for her, she pulled her arms away. As she fell, he swore that he could see serenity cross her face while she plunged to the ground. Matt closed his eyes, and tried to shut out the horrible thud she made when she struck the cement.
“Do you realize what you’ve done?” Matt stood; pain and hatred filling his soul.
“You’re Matt Dales,” the man stammered. “You are under arrest.”
“Oh, Mike, you are so wrong.” Every syllable was dipped in venom as Matt told the officer every dirty little secret the man hid from the world. As the guard stood there stunned by the revelation, Matt put a gun to the guy’s head. He staggered down the catwalk, marking where the officer’s body struck the ground next to Jill’s.
Jill had spoken with conviction and truth when she said the corruption of the Trust had to end. In her memory, he would guarantee that no innocent ever suffered the way she had. He reached the end of the catwalk and sauntered into the crowd.
The Trust was waiting and he would not disappoint them. Vanderhaar would be there, but that mattered little. He was unimportant now. In the grand scheme of things, the chief was a small, pathetic man. When Matt was done, his old partner would fade into obscurity.
He straightened up, wiped the dust and blood from his clothing, and started walking toward the hidden chamber under the dome that housed the Trust.
As he walked, Matt remembered the voices as they explained to him why Jill chose to die.
“For half her life,” they’d say. ”She’d seen each moment before it happened. She knew every word, which everyone who spoke to her would say before it was uttered. It was her trap. The shattering vastness of eternity should have crushed her, reducing her mind to jelly, but she embraced it, her entire past, present and horrific future. Therefore, nothing could ever surprise her, except perhaps for the depts. at which she could despair her fate. Every step of her life was laid out, every right turn anticipated years in advance. It had simply never occurred to her that she could have turned left.”